by LJ Bradley
“I… God, Mason.” Stress lined the corners of her mouth and her body vibrated with tension. I braced myself, somehow knowing what was coming next before it even left her mouth; then she blew out a breath and confirmed my suspicions. “I started the rumours. About you. It was me.” Her eyes darted to the hallway, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out she hadn’t shared this little nugget with Andy. There was no way he would have let it slide if he’d known.
The urge to hit something came over me. My eyes closed, and I focused on my breathing until I could get the feeling under control. “Why?”
“Because I wanted her to focus on school without being distracted by you. What happened with Justin threw me off track for a long time. I saw how much she wanted you. I couldn’t just sit by and watch her make the same mistake I did.”
“Jesus.” I opened my eyes and stared at her, my gaze so steady she at least had the grace to look ashamed. “That wasn’t your call.”
Claire rubbed her upper arms, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “I thought I was doing her a favour.”
“Bullshit. If that was true you wouldn’t have kept it to yourself.”
“You don’t understand. She was sixteen when I first noticed her really watching you. I thought it was just a phase and she’d get over it, but it only got worse. Then you told me you wanted her, too. The rumours gave you something else to focus on, and she saw you moving on with other girls. It was the perfect solution—for everyone.”
I couldn’t let myself think about what it must have been like for Sadie to watch other women throwing themselves at me. It would have driven me insane if the situation was reversed. The fact that she even wanted to speak to me now floored me. “So, I’m like him?” I asked Claire. “I’ll use her and treat her like crap. Get her pregnant and leave her to handle it by herself? You think Sadie’s too stupid to figure out how life works without her big sister making all the decisions for her?”
I couldn’t handle the thought of Sadie dealing with what Claire had been through, and although I had no immediate plans to become a father, I’d never dump the responsibility on her if we found ourselves in that situation. Had Claire’s opinion of me really dropped that low, all based on a reputation she’d created for me herself?
I stood and paced the living room, shoving my hands in my pockets so I wouldn’t be tempted to wrap them around her neck.
“You’re not like him,” she said, causing me to turn and face her. “Not in that way, but I know what girls are like. Being around guys we’re into makes us do the stupidest things. You take over our worlds and we can’t even see farther than the next time we get to be with you—and you’re seven years older than her. It was a big age gap back then. It doesn’t feel all that different now.”
She stopped talking to compose herself, which suited me fine. Hearing her draw vague comparisons between Justin and me only fuelled my anger. I’d gladly go without being mentioned in the same sentence with that asshole ever again.
At the sound of her shaky, indrawn breath I looked away, refusing to see her as vulnerable because she sure as hell wasn’t the victim here. I hadn’t asked for this, and she should have found a better way to deal with her issues. If I had my way I’d be back in my room with Sadie, recreating the moment when she’d come apart on my lap. I couldn’t get her out of my head, even while her sister tried her hardest to fill it with drama.
“She had her whole life planned out,” Claire said, pulling me from my thoughts, “and you wanted her right when she was ready to go off to university to make it all happen. You would have changed everything without even knowing what you were doing, without even meaning to make her push away all the things that were important to her before you came along.”
I stared at the ceiling and shook my head in disbelief. Could anyone say “projecting”?
Claire had stayed away from guys after her relationship with Justin went to shit, to the point where she wouldn’t let anyone new into her life on a more-than-acquaintance basis. It took meeting Andy in her final year of university to change her mind about dating.
Her worries about Sadie following the same path were based on the two of them being similar, when in reality they couldn’t have been more different.
Sadie’s focus had been solid since her mid-teens. She was in her third year of an Applied Science degree, studying to a physiotherapist who specialised in working with chemo patients. Her eyes lit up whenever she talked about her passion. Even if I’d lost my mind and tried to throw her off track, I wouldn’t have been able to stop her from going after what she wanted.
“Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds?” I asked. “You don’t know her at all. You’re too busy treating her like a kid to see how smart she is—about everything. Your anxiety isn’t her problem, Claire.”
“I know, I know. I get it now.” Tears began falling down her cheeks, and a few tense moments passed while I tried to keep a lid on my frustration and she worked on breathing without making those little choking sounds. Eventually she asked, “Have I ruined our friendship?”
She swiped at the dampness on her face and stared at me like I held her happiness in my hands. I knew one word from me could either put her out of her misery or kill the hope in her eyes in an instant. Seeing her cry gave me no pleasure, but she’d done a shitty thing and it would take time before I could trust her again. I didn’t want to make any decisions tonight that might turn into regret later.
“I can’t lose you,” she said, taking a step closer to me. “The idea of you and Sadie not making it and then me having to choose sides… I can’t…” The desperation in her eyes nearly cracked through the barrier I’d thrown up between us. “I can’t lose you, Mason.”
The rest of it didn’t make sense, but I understood this part at least. I pulled my hand from my pocket and rubbed the back of my neck, unsure where to go from here. We’d always been open and honest with each other, sometimes to a fault, but we’d been friends for so long I couldn’t imagine not having her in my life—no matter how much of a pain in the ass she’d become.
I squeezed her shoulder, about the only comfort I wanted to offer under the circumstances. “We’ll figure it out, okay?” It might take us a week or a month to reach that point, but I had no doubt we’d get there.
Claire watched me with a guarded look on her face, like she couldn’t quite believe I’d be willing to put in the effort.
Something between us had shifted tonight, and neither of us seemed to know whether it would turn out to be for the better or worse. One thing I did know for sure, seeing her tears dry up made it clear the time had come to leave. I needed to be with Sadie, to try to repair the damage her sister and I had done. If she’d let me.
With a brief smile, I turned and headed to my room to grab my wallet and keys. The urgency building inside me had me breaking into a jog on my way back down the hallway, and when I returned to the living room Claire still hadn’t moved from her spot in front of the couch. It frustrated me seeing her this way. Eyes red, skin blotched and puffy. Even though she’d been through an emotional ordeal, I just didn’t want to be responsible for consoling her anymore. She’d brought it all on herself. If she needed comfort she’d have to look to Andy for that.
Her eyes dropped momentarily to the keys dangling from my fingers. “Are you going to see Sadie?”
I nodded and waited for her reaction. We shared a lengthy look, and when it seemed she had nothing further to add, I pivoted and made my way to the door. It was only when I’d grab hold of the handle that she decided to speak again.
“Mason?”
With my back to her I closed my eyes and answered, “Yeah?”
During the pause that followed I braced myself for what was coming next, prepared to ignore her and leave regardless. “I was wrong. About everything. You’re perfect for her… and I’m so, so sorry.”
Not what I expected. I appreciated it all the same. Neither of us needed her blessing, but it made life easier having
her on board. My eyes opened, and I nodded without turning around. “I’ll be back sometime in the morning.”
Maybe sooner if Sadie refused to talk to me.
All I could do now was go to her and hope for the best.
CHAPTER THREE
Sadie
The first time I remember reacting to Mason in a purely physical way was at my parents’ holiday home on the shores of Lake Helen about three years ago. Up until then he’d just been my sister’s best friend, the guy I adored and idolised in a teenage-crush kind of way. This time around I was an adult, my thoughts not quite so innocent, my eyes lingering a tad too long on places they never even used to visit.
A group of us had headed up to the lake to celebrate Australia Day during the hottest part of summer. There were ten of us there in total; Claire, Andy, Mason and a half dozen of their friends. I’d only gone with them as a tagalong, but they were the kind of people who always went out of their way to make sure I felt included.
After we’d unpacked, Andy got started barbecuing lunch on the deck while Claire disappeared inside to organise plates and cutlery. The others cranked up the music and hung out with Andy, opening the first of many beers while they caught up on one another’s lives. The vibe was relaxed, the conversations fun and full of laughter.
I remember standing at the edge of the deck while the sun glinting off the water beckoned me. Before I knew it I found myself turning to Mason to suggest we race each other to the pontoon. I’d always loved challenging him to anything physical and it was the easiest way to get some one-on-one time with him before he got pulled into the shenanigans later in the night.
Never one to back down from some healthy competition—even though he always ended up winning—he sprinted barefoot with me down to the shore like we’d done so many times before.
The moment my feet met warm sand I stripped down to my bikini to get a head start on him, but he peeled off his t-shirt at the same time and that plan fizzled into nothing… along with all my working brain cells.
Tanned skin. Muscles. Hard, flat abdomen. Bathed in the early-afternoon sunlight, the sight of him left me speechless. A feeling of longing rolled through me in a slow, hot wave and my sundress dropped from my slackened fingers. This, this was what desire felt like. I wanted to touch him, to feel the warmth of his skin… trace the line of dark hair that disappeared into his board shorts.
The man turned me on without even trying and he had no idea.
While I stood there stunned, Mason flashed me a grin and ran into the lake.
It took me a minute to snap out of my daze. With a laughing protest and a body zinging with too many sensations at once, I went after him. By this time, he’d already made it to mid-thigh and launched himself into a series of smooth, graceful strokes that only took him farther away from me. Too stubborn to admit defeat, I tried my best to narrow his lead on me, but my efforts ended with me winded and nursing a mass of screaming muscle in my calf.
I didn’t need to call out to him or anyone else for help. Whenever I thought about it, that detail always stood out to me the most. He turned to me at the exact moment I sank under, like he knew something was up and wanted to assure himself I was okay. Just as the last of my strength disappeared and I worked up to full panic mode, Mason was right there with me. He gripped me under my arms and dragged me to the surface, pulling me against him to keep me steady. Safe.
I’d never had a cramp cause me so much pain, either before that day or after. My lower leg hardened like concrete and I clung to Mason as if his nearness could somehow make it go away. We were at a level in the water where my feet no longer touched the bottom, but he didn’t have that problem. He rested one arm beneath me and slid the other around my back, all the while murmuring soothing words in my ear that I couldn’t recall now if I tried.
The pain went on with no sign of easing. I worked hard not to cry, but the tears rolled down my cheeks anyway. As Mason walked me back to shore, I had to bite into my lip to stifle a sob. “Take my mind off it,” I pleaded, my voice sounding thick and wet. “Tell me something good.”
He stopped then. While we were still up to our waists in water he leaned back far enough to look me in the eyes, the blue of his irises impossibly bright in the afternoon sun. Beads of water dripped from his gleaming dark hair and spiky lashes. Dampness highlighted the stubble lining his jaw. We were pressed so close together I could almost brush my mouth across his and get away with calling it an accident.
His lips tilted on one side as I took in his features, like my interest amused or pleased him. He swept my hair from my cheek and curved his hand around the back of my neck, squeezing just hard enough to make me hyper aware of his touch. I held my breath and waited, the pain in my leg secondary now to the curiosity he’d roused in me. “Sadie…” He swallowed and sent my mouth a fleeting look before meeting my eyes again. “There’s something I need to—"
“Hey, what’s going on out there?! Are you two okay?”
Claire’s voice echoed across the water and killed the intensity in an instant. A different kind of panic raced through me then and I tensed against him, desperate to hear the rest of that sentence. I need… I need to—what? What had I missed?
Mason’s grip on me loosened, and I wanted to plead with him not to let me go just yet. I hadn’t been able to savour the feeling of his body pressed to mine nearly long enough. But when he directed his gaze somewhere over my shoulder and sighed, I knew we were done. “All good, Claire. Sadie got a cramp but she’s fine now.”
One of the guys called out, “If I get a cramp will you cuddle me like that?!”
Laughter drifted from the deck and Mason sent me a reluctant smile. A look of resignation came over him and just like that the intimate moment between us ended. His arm stayed around me as he helped me back to shore, but as soon as we reached the damp sand he passed me off to Claire and never showed that side of himself again.
Until tonight.
Funny how things could become so much clearer with hindsight, including the fact my sister had apparently begun her cock-blocking career years ago.
I fastened the last button on my pyjama top and made my way over to the bedroom window, wondering if Mason would call me like he’d promised. When I peeked through the gap in the curtains to the street a floor below, I couldn’t decide if I wanted to see him out there or if I wished he’d take the big fat hint and leave me alone. The situation had me so torn I didn’t know what I wanted anymore.
At this late hour it was quiet out. A couple of cars were parked at the curb, and the road was still wet from a shower earlier in the night. Only the streetlights shone in the darkness now, with all my neighbours appearing to have gone to bed. I wondered if Mason was still awake, and if he’d spent much time thinking about me.
My phone hadn’t made a sound since I’d come home. No calls or texts from Mason or Claire. Not even Andy, who I thought may have tried checking on me at some point. The lack of contact should have made me happy since they’d given me exactly what I’d asked for, but the alone time had begun to unnerve me.
The rumble of an approaching engine caught my attention. With my heart in my throat, I yanked the curtain aside to find Mason pulling up out front. My stomach dipped with excitement, and for a moment a streak of pure happiness overwhelmed my lingering anger.
At least my body knew which option I wanted.
I pulled in a breath and gave my outfit the once-over. Pink flannel PJs and thick, stripy bed socks. Not exactly sexy or alluring, but at this point I probably shouldn’t be trying too hard to impress him anyway.
When I looked outside again he’d already stepped from his car and closed the door. Bathed in the yellow glow of the streetlight, he wore the jeans and charcoal t-shirt he’d had on earlier, but this time around he looked a little rough around the edges. As my eyes passed over him, he glanced up at the spot where he knew my room was located, saw me, and flashed me a smile that brightened the gloom.
A jolt of awarene
ss hit me and I dropped the curtain like it had burned me. Without stopping to think about it, I bolted from the room and raced down the stairs, my heartbeat keeping time with my steps the whole way down. As soon as I hit the tiled entry I stopped and drew a breath to calm the craziness inside me. My eyes closed and I took my time blowing the air out, reminding myself it was just Mason. We’d known each other too long for me to start acting all weird around him.
The knock on the door came sooner than I expected. I jumped at the sound then shook my head, wondering why I felt so on edge when I’d never had this problem with him before. It could have been the way we’d left things earlier… or maybe the thought of what might happen if I let him in while there was no one else home.
Either way, I wouldn’t find out unless I faced him.
He knocked again and called out, “Sadie, open up. I know you’re home.”
Just hearing his voice again sent my excitement skyrocketing. I didn’t want to make this too easy on him, though. “No thank you,” I replied.
A sound suspiciously like laughter travelled through the door. “Sadie.”
“Mason.”
He didn’t even try to hide his amusement this time around. I heard him snort.
Despite wanting to stand my ground and show him he didn’t have a pushover on his hands—he so did—a smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. If I spent any longer talking to him there’d be no more holding out. I’d already become a permanent lost cause where he was concerned.
“This is just a courtesy knock,” he said. “I know where you guys keep the spare key.”
“Yeah? Well, this is just courtesy politeness. If you don’t go away I’m calling the cops.”
A thump against the door had me stepping closer. Not a fist this time. Probably his forehead. I stood directly on the other side, my heart hammering against my ribs as I waited for him to speak. “Even when it feels like everything’s going to shit you still make me laugh. I love that about you.”
