by LJ Bradley
The mention of love had unexpected tears flooding my eyes. While I pulled myself together, I turned my back on the door and stared at the hall table. My mother’s treasured photos took pride of place there, a collection of mismatched frames displaying her favourite places and people. Mason featured in a couple of them.
In one of the pictures he was sitting with Claire in a red kayak at Lake Helen. The two of them had been teasing each other mercilessly when he finally put an end to it by slicing his hand through the water to drench her. Her blonde hair was plastered to her cheeks and she’d been caught mid-laugh, the joy on her face bringing a smile to my own even now.
Another captured Mason standing between Claire and me beneath a bunch of helium balloons, his arms stretched across both our shoulders. We were dressed in our best, smiling for the camera at my twenty-first birthday party five months ago. Right after the flash went off he let go of her to hook his arm around my neck and drag me in even closer. I remember my palm flattening against his abdomen to steady myself while he pressed the warmest, softest kiss on my temple. The sensation of his body taut beneath my fingers had made my cheeks glow and my stomach flutter like mad. When he picked up on my reaction, Mason pulled me in for a proper hug and let out the most delicious laugh.
Another thump yanked me from the memory. “Sweetheart, we need to talk.”
When he spoke to me that way, his voice all deep and rough and filled with a thousand unspoken words, I had zero chance of holding out on him. With a fortifying breath, I opened the door and found him standing there, eyes tired, dark hair rumpled. As soon as I saw him my pulse jumped, and the attraction I felt toward him hit me like a physical blow.
He took a long moment to survey me, his gaze sweeping from head to toe and back again. He let out a huff of amusement and his mouth quirked on one side. “You’re goddamn adorable.”
I tried so hard to stop myself from reacting, I did, but I’d waited so long for him to look at me this way I couldn’t stop a small smile from forming. “Thanks. I rock the jammies.”
His eyes filled with humour then he glanced past me into the house. “Are you going to let me in?”
There may have been a double meaning to his words, I couldn’t tell for sure. Instead of wasting time analysing it I took a step back in silent invitation.
Mason maintained eye contact with me on his way through, his chest brushing mine with more pressure than necessary given the space he had to work with. I had no bra on to provide the extra barrier of protection I needed for this kind of situation, and his closeness sent a shudder through me. The hint of a smile I saw on his face as he passed by suggested he enjoyed the reaction.
I held back the urge to roll my eyes and closed the door behind him. When I turned to him again I found him checking out the same photo I’d been looking at right before he walked in. “That was a great night,” he said.
I nodded and glanced down at the silver filigree bracelet he’d given me, the one I still wore every day. I tore the package open right in front of him and fastened it in place while he watched, the expression on his face tender and oddly intimate. It had seemed out of place at the time, but now...
Whenever I thought about all the years we’d lost my stomach sank. Who knew where we’d be now if our attraction had been allowed to follow its natural course. Maybe the two of us would have found a place together and be thinking about our long-term future. Maybe we wouldn’t. Either way, at least it would have been with my input.
“Why did you do what Claire asked and stay away from me?” My sister only had to click her fingers to have complete control over my love life. Not an easy thing to accept when I’d been so sure she wanted the best for me.
Mason rubbed the back of his neck and gave me a long look. When he realised I wouldn’t be backing down until he gave me an answer, he sighed and dropped his arm. “I was friends with her for years before I got interested in you,” he said. “The thought of you and me together worried her so much I figured I’d just hold off for a while. You had no idea what was going on, so it didn’t seem like such a big deal to wait. If you could have seen her back then…”
I let out an exasperated breath and glanced away to gather my composure. “That’s the thing,” I said, looking back at him, “I did see her. She’s my sister, remember?”
He gazed at me steadily. “You know what I mean. She’d been living away from home for three years by that point. You only saw what she wanted you to see.”
God. It was like hearing the same crappy song playing on repeat. “Only because she, you—everyone—insists on treating me like I’m fragile and need protection. You even did it tonight when I tried to take it further. You’re a guy. The main thing you think about is sex. I know you only held back for my benefit, but what about what I want?”
It took a few beats for my words to sink in. When they did Mason scrubbed his hands down his face and sighed. I expected him to deny my claim or at least try to justify his behaviour, but he didn’t say a word, and his calm acceptance had all the fight leaving me.
He moved over to the staircase, took a seat on the third step and looked up at me. “I’ve been so focused on the way Claire treats you I’ve ignored the fact I’m doing the same thing. In a different way, but still the same shitty thing.”
With a slight smile I wandered over to him, wishing for about the hundredth time we could press rewind and go back to his room when none of this had existed. “I know you’re trying to protect me, look out for me—whatever. I appreciate the sentiment, but if we’re going to be together I need to know I deserve you. You keep shielding me from everything and treating me like I’m too simple-minded to know what’s best for me, I’m only going to end up feeling like I’m not good enough for you.”
He shook his head and let out a laughing breath, but there was no humour in the sound. “You never need to worry about not being good enough for me. As far as the rest of it goes, that’s not how I see you, but I get it.” He locked eyes with me. “I hear you.”
The heaviness in the air seemed to ease and the anxious feeling in my stomach went along with it. My life may have been linked with Mason’s all these years, but we’d never related to each other this way before. It was new for both of us, and I had to keep reminding myself it would take some time to adjust to the changes. I loved seeing him work through the roadblocks though, so calm and methodical like nothing could faze him.
The corner of his mouth twitched as he reached out and pulled me between his thighs. With my butt resting on his knee I slid my arm around his shoulders, happy we had a better understanding of each other now. I just wished I could have said the same thing about Claire. My big sister remained a mystery to me no matter how much I tried to wrap my mind around her way of thinking.
“Does she have a thing for you?” I asked, the idea popping into my head for the first time just then. I’d never picked up on any more-than-friends vibes between them, but maybe I’d been paying too much attention to Mason and not enough to Claire.
His gaze dropped to my lips before rising to clash with mine again. “Tell me you don’t actually think that.”
My fingers had been gripping the back of his shirt while I waited for him to answer. I took my time unclenching them and smoothed the material with my palm. “I don’t. It’s just… no other explanation fits.”
I’d been home for over an hour before Mason dropped by to see me tonight, giving him plenty of time to talk to Claire while we were apart. I wished I’d been able to hear their conversation so I could try to make sense of this situation. Unfortunately, I knew Mason, and he wouldn’t share that information without her permission.
“There’s a reason,” he said. “Two I guess.”
I frowned, more curious than ever. “Did you know all along?”
He shook his head. “She only told me tonight.”
So, not only had she shut me out but her best friend, too. I’d always been under the impression there were no subjects off limits. “What
was she like when you left?”
“Upset. Wiped out. If you’re thinking about calling her I wouldn’t.” His mouth kicked up on one side. “Not that I’m trying to tell you what to do.”
With a smile I rubbed my thumb over his jaw, noting the huskiness in his voice, the tiredness in his eyes. He should have gone straight to bed after speaking with Claire, but instead he’d come to see me. I wondered if he felt the same pull to be together that I did, and if so how could he have ignored it for so long? “Why did you decide to make a move on me tonight?” I asked. “After all this time, did you plan it or was it just a spur of the moment thing?”
Mason’s hand curled around my knee, his warmth seeping through my pyjama pants. “The temptation’s been there for a while,” he said. “I nearly told you up at the lake a few summers ago. Remember when you got a cramp in the water and cried like a baby?”
The first time he’d ever looked at me in a way that made my stomach flutter with excitement. “You mean when you turned all serious and weird and I had no idea what was going on?”
The ghost of a smile appeared as his thumb stroked the inner curve of my knee. “That’d be the one.”
I leaned into him, tucking my face against his neck much like I had that day, only this time I pressed my lips there and kissed the spot where his pulse beat strong and steady. Too much time had passed, too many hours carelessly wasted. I couldn’t let another moment go by without showing him how much he meant to me. “Will you stay with me tonight?”
His arms tightened around me briefly, whether in shock or happiness I didn’t know. For a long, painful moment only the sound of his slow breaths filled the silence, then he confirmed carefully, “You mean to sleep, right?”
I couldn’t blame him for asking since I’d gone on that little rant of mine about wanting to be treated like an adult. With my face still hidden I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to figure out the answer for myself. “Yes—no. I don’t know.”
Mason’s chest shuddered with soft laughter, but he was too decent to point out that he’d made the right decision by putting the brakes on when we were in his bedroom earlier. He turned his head and pressed his lips to the corner of my mouth, maintaining the contact just long enough to get my skin tingling in readiness for more. “I’ll stay,” he said, his words whispering over my cheek. “No pressure. We’ll make the rules as we go, okay?”
I lifted my head and nodded. As our gazes meshed, heat filled the space between us and the air grew heavy with anticipation.
Every time he looked at me now it reminded me that he was a man and I was a woman and we both had parts that fit together perfectly. I could smell him, that intoxicating combination of faint cologne and the natural scent of his skin. My body thrummed with an addictive kind of tension, the urge to wait almost as strong as the urge to take and take.
I think by now we both knew which one would win out in the end.
I just wished the idea didn’t make me so nervous.
CHAPTER FOUR
Mason
I’d always thought I had a pretty good handle on what made Sadie tick, but the more one on one time I spent with her the more she kept surprising me. After the blow-up with Claire I’d expected her to turn away when I showed up here tonight. Instead, she’d not only invited me in but made my night by asking me to stay over.
Now I just had to pay attention to the cues and make sure we were on the same page when it came to what “staying over” really meant.
Back when Claire lived at home I’d only ever walked past Sadie’s room on my way down the hall. Sometimes the door had been open, other times closed with her inside while the latest boy band music thudded through the walls. My feelings for her had only been of the platonic kind back in those days, so I’d never wondered what she did in here. Now we’d taken our friendship to the next level I wanted to know everything about her.
I glanced around, taking in the open laptop on her desk, the books stacked alongside. Posters of bands from her younger years still decorated the bubble-gum pink walls, and one of those dreamcatcher things dangled from the side of her dressing table mirror. Clothes had been thrown over the back of a chair, a few pairs of shoes scattered in the corner. And make-up, God, there was makeup everywhere. She must have raided Claire’s stash because I’d never known her to give a crap about it until tonight.
Had she made all this mess trying to look good for me?
My gaze shifted back to her and the ball of warmth in my stomach turned to searing heat.
We stood on opposite sides of the bed while she stared at the covers like she thought it would take a superhuman effort to pull them back. Her shoulders were rigid, her chest rising and falling with shallow breaths. It wouldn’t have surprised me if she was working up the nerve to tell me she’d changed her mind.
Instead she blew out a loud breath and raised her brows. “So… you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon?”
I smiled. Even when she wanted to run, her ability to stand strong and fight her way through it impressed me.
Our eyes met and I held her gaze, letting it simmer while I worked through my options. By now I’d figured out treating her like she couldn’t handle adult situations meant a quick, possibly violent end to whatever we were about to do here. Rather than trying to placate her, I gave her a thorough once-over and kicked off my shoes. “You’re telling me all that bravado was just a front? You don’t want to fork me anymore?”
Her eyes lit with amusement, and I mentally high-fived myself for reading her right. When she threw back the covers and spent too long smoothing wrinkles from the sheets that neither of us gave a shit about, I realised it might take more than a single quip to ease her worries.
Like I’d said to her a few hours ago, being a girl’s first was a first for me. She wasn’t the only one in unfamiliar territory here. The best I could do was draw on my own experience, remember the way it had felt for me, and do whatever I could to make her feel comfortable.
“Sadie.”
She froze in the middle of repositioning a pillow and sent me a look.
Before she could start fidgeting again, I rounded the bed and made my way over to her. She turned to me slowly, and when we were standing toe to toe her eyes rose to lock with mine. Barefaced and appearing more like the girl I’d known most of my life, she leaned into me and clasped my hips.
While I gazed down at her, my palms framed her face and I stroked my thumbs across her cheeks. She barely blinked, merely relaxed against me by degrees and watched me with a curious look that grew more intense the longer it went on. My thumbs continued moving… stroking… stroking… then she licked her lower lip and the spark of heat in her eyes flickered into flame.
I dipped my head and took her mouth, drawing her in for a long, slow kiss. Her lips moved with mine and her fingers dug into my sides, telling me I’d given her what she needed. She made an urgent sound and pushed even closer, rising on her toes to deepen the connection. We were both breathing harder in no time, and when we finally separated she glanced off to one side before looking my way again. “Would you be okay with doing some things tonight… but maybe not everything?”
I tried not to react to the hope in her voice, but God she made me want to smile. “Anything. Just give it to me straight so we both know where we stand.”
She laughed and gave my chest a half-hearted shove. “I’m not firing off instructions. That’ll kill the mood, and then all the sexiness will be gone.”
The hell it would. I dipped my finger in the opening on her pajama top and dragged her back against me. The soft little breath she let out right before her lips pressed into a stubborn line turned me on more than I expected. “Try it and see.”
Now I’d made it known she could set the pace without any protests from me, something in her expression changed. The corner of her lips turned upward, and her eyes shined with excitement as they danced over me. “You’re just… you’ll do whatever I want?”
If I didn’t find
a way to keep my cool now she’d have me on my knees in no time. I kept my mouth shut and nodded.
Just like that she planted her hands on her hips and stepped back, looking me over like she was inspecting a side of prime beef. “Okay, then. Let me see you with your shirt off.”
The woman needed her ass spanked. More than once. “You’ve already seen me with my shirt off. Multiple times.”
“I know, but I always had to pretend I wasn’t looking. Now I get to see and touch.”
Hearing her admit to taking peeks at me on the sly made my heart feel too big for my chest. I looked away and shook off the sensation before it had the chance to take over. When my attention shifted back to her, I found Sadie watching me in a different kind of way. She didn’t say anything to hurry me along, merely looked at me with a quiet patience that turned me on for reasons I couldn’t explain.
Not wanting to lose the mood we’d already created, I gripped the neckline of my t-shirt and dragged it over my head. As the material dropped from my slackened fingers, she let out an audible breath that made me want to yank her against me.
Her eyes darted up to meet mine, like she needed to make sure I wasn’t laughing at her before she could let herself enjoy the moment. Once she’d figured out humour didn’t factor into this situation at all for me, she went back to checking out the skin I’d revealed.
The look in her eyes, the careful way she reached for me… it took all my willpower to stand still and let her do her thing.
She flattened her palms against my chest and spread her fingers wide, taking her time smoothing them over the hair scattered there. While her eyes drank me in, she looked up at me and tried to smile. Each touch seemed like an exploration for her; a slight pressure here, sweeping fingers there. I couldn’t get enough of the expression on her face. The innocence, the open curiosity. It made me wonder how she’d react when she had me inside her.
Her hands made their way down to my abs, lingering there for a while before they slipped around to my lower back. I’d thought about being with her like this so many times the sensation of her palms on my bare skin sent a shiver through me.
