Shadows

by Paula Weston

  ‘Isn’t that why you left the Sanctuary—to get a life?’ I pull on a navy t-shirt. Ironically, I don’t own a lot of black. ‘How’s that working out?’

  Ez gives me a tight smile. ‘I’m living the dream.’ She pauses then points to my hiking boots by the door. ‘You’ll want those.’

  I sit on the floor to put them on.

  ‘What did you mean about Rafa owing whoever changed my memories?’

  ‘You really don’t remember?’

  I grit my teeth. ‘No, and that’s the last time I’m going to say it.’

  She fiddles with her hair band, tightens it. ‘You were meant to come with us when we left the Sanctuary, but at the last minute you changed your mind.’

  ‘But I thought—didn’t Rafa run off to be with Mya, and everyone else just followed?’

  ‘Who told you that?’

  ‘Daisy.’

  Her laugh is short, cold. ‘Of course she’s still clinging to that lie. It’s easier than the thought Jude left because he stopped believing Nathaniel’s propaganda. Jude had a huge fight with Nathaniel. There had never been anything like it, and it forced everyone to take a side. You stood with us. Daisy didn’t know what to do. She’d been in love with Jude for years—’

  ‘What?’ I interrupt. ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Worst kept secret in the Sanctuary.’

  ‘No, I mean the fight with Nathaniel. What was it over?’

  Ez sits cross-legged on the bed, boots and all. ‘Jude demanded that Nathaniel summon an archangel.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Nathaniel claims he’s following orders from the Garrison—that they’re the ones pulling our strings, guiding us towards some great destiny. Jude got tired of hearing it secondhand. He wanted to hear it from the source.’

  ‘What happened?’

  ‘Nathaniel refused. Said, “You don’t summon the Host of Heaven,” and Jude told him that if he didn’t we were leaving.’

  ‘But what did Jude think was going to happen if an archangel turned up?’

  Ez leans back on her hands. ‘If he didn’t get struck down? He had a question or two. Like why we had to prove ourselves to a Garrison that’s never shown any interest in us. Why we have to find the Fallen and hand them over.’

  ‘What else would you do with them?’

  ‘A few of us think that after a century and a half, we’ve earned the right to know our fathers.’

  ‘And Nathaniel doesn’t want that to happen?’

  ‘He’s scared we’ll join forces with them. Betray him and the Garrison to keep our fathers out of hell. Of course, Mya has done nothing to dispel that myth.’

  ‘Is that what she wants to happen?’

  Ez gives the smallest of shrugs. ‘I don’t think Mya knows what she wants half the time.’

  ‘I take it Nathaniel didn’t summon an archangel.’

  ‘No. And Jude left, along with everyone who supported him.’

  I jam my feet into my boots. ‘I supported him?’

  ‘You did.’

  ‘So why didn’t I go?’

  ‘To this day, none of us knows. Not even Jude knew. One minute you were all fired up, and the next you told us you were staying.’

  I absorb that. ‘So Jude was the reason everyone left. Not Mya?’

  Ez sighs. ‘Mya had quite an impact when Nathaniel brought her into the Sanctuary. She shook things up for sure, and there’s no doubt she was a catalyst for what followed. But there was unrest in the ranks long before she came along. Mya has been blamed for the rift—and, believe me, she’s quick to take the credit for it—but it wasn’t that simple.’

  ‘But Rafa and Mya were together when they left?’ I wish this question wasn’t so important.

  ‘Yes, but you never cared whose bed he was in. You and he were never…you know. You were our best fighters. You bickered all the time, but you brought out the best in each other as warriors. Going into battle next to you turned him on more than any woman could.’

  I give her a dubious look and she laughs. ‘Maybe a slight exaggeration, but he really did love it.’ Her smile fades. ‘And you and Jude were inseparable. That’s why it made no sense that you would take the opposite side to either one of them—let alone both. And then when they heard you’d become closer with Daniel…’

  I finish tying my laces and drop my hands to the splintering floor. ‘It’s a mess, isn’t it?’

  She doesn’t nod. She doesn’t need to.

  ‘It got worse after you and Jude disappeared last year. We thought he’d gone back to the Sanctuary to be with you. And when we heard you’d both died…Honestly, I thought Rafa was going to harm himself. He wouldn’t talk to anyone for weeks. He drifted in and out of our operations, and then a few months ago he lost interest completely and stopped answering calls. We only knew he was still alive because he’d send Zak an occasional text. When he told Zak about the possibility you’d resurfaced, there was no doubt he’d come looking for you—’

  A fist bangs on the door. ‘Gabe,’ Rafa barks. ‘Your boyfriend’s here. Get your arse into gear.’

  ‘Yeah.’ I get to my feet. ‘I’m the wind beneath his wings.’

  WORLDS COLLIDE

  Simon is standing in the kitchen near Jason, his eyes locked on Zak. He’s put on a faded dark-green t-shirt and jeans. A map is open on the table, which Rafa is bent over.

  Simon turns from Zak to take in Ez, and then me. I’m guessing no one’s bothered with introductions.

  ‘These are friends of Rafa’s—Ez and Zak.’

  He frowns. ‘Sorry?’

  Ez’s face is turned away from Simon. He hasn’t seen the scars yet. ‘Esther and Zachariah,’ she says.

  ‘You don’t look like an Esther.’ There’s a flush of red across his neck.

  Rafa looks up from the map long enough to let me know he didn’t miss Simon’s reaction.

  I ignore his smirk and double-check that my t-shirt is still covering the bite mark, but it doesn’t matter: Simon has spotted Ez’s scars, and they’ve got his full attention.

  ‘The barman has finally proven himself useful.’ Rafa stabs a finger on the page. ‘This track should get us close enough. As long as Pretty Boy doesn’t have the same map, we’ve got a good chance of surprising those arse clowns.’

  ‘Let’s do it then.’ I wish I was as confident as I sound.

  Rafa turns to Simon. ‘You got room for everyone in that rust bucket outside?’

  ‘I just have to set up the back seat.’

  ‘Now would be good.’

  ‘I’ll help him,’ Zak says, and they leave together. He’ll probably also have a quiet chat with Simon about staring at Ez’s scars.

  ‘How are we going to know which cabin they’re in?’ I shut the kitchen window.

  ‘We’ll know,’ Rafa says.

  ‘I thought you couldn’t track each other.’

  ‘We can’t,’ Ez answers for him. ‘But if we get close to other Rephaim, we can usually sense them if they’ve shifted recently.’

  ‘How?’

  ‘It’s hard to explain,’ Ez says. ‘A funny feeling in the chest, or the stomach.’

  I remember that moment in the forest a few days ago, when I knew I wasn’t alone. The day Rafa shadowed me through the trees. My body had known there was a threat before I saw him.

  ‘We’ve got to get near enough to feel it,’ Ez says, ‘so we need at least a rough idea of where someone is.’

  ‘How come Rafa didn’t sense Jason was in town then, when he arrived?’

  Ez frowns at Jason. ‘Did you drive here?’

  He gives a self-conscious shrug. ‘Seemed less conspicuous.’

  ‘How did Taya and Malachi find me?’ I ask, but I already know the answer. ‘Rafa was already here, shifting all over town.’

  ‘Hey.’ Rafa throws one of the bags of weapons over his shoulder. ‘You’re the one who put that story online, not me. I had no idea they’d followed me here. How was I to know the Sanctuary had nerds st
alking me in cyberspace?’

  Jason gets between us and grabs the other bag. ‘Any chance we could discuss this later?’

  ‘Good call,’ Ez says, and she and Jason leave the kitchen side by side.

  ‘For the record,’ I say to Rafa, ‘I wasn’t blaming you for anything.’

  ‘That’s a refreshing change.’ He doesn’t look at me as we go down the hallway. ‘You want to tell me what you and Goldilocks were talking about before I got back?’

  ‘Not right now.’

  I don’t know what—if anything—I’ll tell him, but I need time to get my head around it first. At the very least, to finish the conversation with Jason.

  On the street, Simon and Zak are still fussing around in the back of the jeep. The sky is heavy purple now, and a few stars are already out over the water. I grab Rafa’s t-shirt when he’s a couple of steps down the stairs, and he turns to face me. We’re at eye level. There’s jasmine in the air, from the garden next door. A shout from the road.

  ‘Look,’ I whisper. ‘Are you going to stay pissed off at me all night?’

  His face is lit yellow by the light at the door. He doesn’t say anything.

  ‘I don’t want to go back to the Sanctuary with Daniel.’

  He still doesn’t speak, and I can’t read his expression.

  ‘I mean, no question, the first priority is to get Mags, but the second is to keep me here, right?’

  ‘That’s the plan.’

  I push a stray hair out of my face. ‘But—’

  ‘Gabe,’ Rafa says, and I bite my lip. ‘I know. I’ll take care of it.’ He leans closer. His t-shirt is twisted between my fingers. ‘It’s been a long time since you asked me for anything. I’m not going to fuck it up.’

  ‘Any chance you could ease up on being an arsehole for a while as well?’

  ‘That I can’t promise.’

  He makes no effort to move away.

  ‘The bus is leaving, people!’ Ez calls from the road.

  ‘I’m scared,’ I say.

  I’m sure the old Gabe never said those words before going into battle, but I need Rafa to remember I’m not her.

  ‘The last time you were scared, you separated a hellturd from its head. I don’t think fear’s a bad thing for you at this point.’

  ‘That’s easy for you to say.’ I let go of his shirt. His fingers slide around my elbow to keep me from moving past him.

  ‘When it’s happening,’ he says, ‘don’t think. Just go with your instincts.’

  I try to hang on to that thought. It’s not only the fear of being dragged back to the Sanctuary that’s scaring me.

  What if I let everyone down?

  THE HILLS ARE ALIVE…

  It’s a tight fit in the jeep. Simon is behind the wheel and Rafa is in the front with him. I’m between Ez and Jason, and Zak is wedged into the extra seat in the back, the weapons bags between his feet. They clattered when Rafa tossed them in and Simon pretended not to notice.

  The guys weren’t kidding when they called this a goat track. What started out as a wide gravel road soon turned to dirt, and then narrowed to two wheel ruts.

  I grip the front seats, trying to keep my balance. The seatbelt is the only thing stopping me from launching into Rafa’s or Simon’s lap every time we come out of a dip and hit the next rise. Ez and Jason cling to the safety handles above their doors. Every now and then Zak grunts behind me.

  ‘Any chance you could miss one or two of the potholes?’ Rafa snaps.

  Simon keeps his eyes on the road. ‘Only if you want to take three hours getting there.’

  We climb higher into the hinterland. Ez moves around to get comfortable. When she sees me looking she gives me a reassuring smile.

  ‘Shit!’ Rafa’s voice is sharp. Simon slams on the brakes.

  A wallaby is standing in the middle of the dirt track, eyes glassy in the bright headlights. Mesmerised, and measuring us. Simon sounds the horn, short and sharp. The wallaby blinks and hops away into the scrub. And we continue our rough, noisy ride up the mountain.

  There’s not much chance of conversation. It’s actually a relief. Right now, all I’m thinking about is Maggie, and what I did in the cage—and how to do it again.

  I’m looking out the window into the dark feathery forest, when Simon swears and jams on the brakes again.

  Standing in the middle of the track are two guys in filthy shorts and blue singlets. They’ve got shorn hair, long beards, and tattoos on just about every piece of exposed skin.

  One is holding a shotgun and the other, a fence post.

  ‘Who the fuck are they?’ Rafa asks.

  ‘The Butler boys. They must have a crop up here somewhere.’

  I only know the Butlers by reputation—and the occasional glimpse of them hustling pool in the beer garden at the Imperial. They’re the older brothers of at least two of the hoodie brigade I flipped off earlier today.

  ‘Mick and Rusty,’ Simon says. ‘Mick’s the big one with the gun.’

  They both look pretty big to me.

  ‘Let me handle this.’ Simon cuts the engine. ‘I went to school with Rusty.’

  ‘Make it quick,’ Rafa says.

  Simon gets out, and the smell of eucalyptus and damp soil fills the jeep. He leaves the door open and walks as far as the bull bar.

  ‘Zak, go,’ Rafa says, his lips barely moving.

  There’s a click behind me and the faintest stirring of air as Zak shifts.

  Mick shines a torch at Simon, making him shield his eyes. ‘You lost, shit stain?’ Mick’s voice is flat and hard.

  ‘Nah, mate,’ Simon says. ‘Just heading up the mountain.’

  ‘Who ya got in there?’ Mick moves the beam of light across the windscreen. Rusty is beside him, eyes flicking from Simon to the jeep.

  ‘Gaby and a few of her mates from down south.’

  ‘Who the fuck’s Gaby?’

  ‘You know, the brunette who hangs out with Mags.’

  Rusty peers at the windscreen and finally speaks. ‘The chick with the long legs and nice tits?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Simon says. ‘We’re taking a few of her mates up to the Retreat. Just doing a bit of bush-bashing on the way.’

  ‘Rick know about that?’ Rusty asks, grinning.

  ‘No chance. He’d have my balls in a vice.’

  Mick lifts the shotgun and I hold my breath. I’d been worried about Simon getting hurt by the Rephaim tonight—it hadn’t crossed my mind he could get shot by a trigger-happy dope grower. But instead of levelling the barrel at Simon, Mick uses it to scratch the side of his rough head.

  ‘You sure you haven’t got pigs in there?’ Mick rests the shotgun on his shoulder.

  Simon shakes his head. ‘Seriously, mate, I had no idea you had any interests up this far.’

  He’s playing this pretty cool. I guess working at Rick’s has taught him a thing or two about dealing with testosterone-fuelled meatheads.

  ‘Get your mates out so I can see ‘em,’ Mick says.

  For a few seconds, Simon doesn’t move, and then he turns towards the jeep and signals for us to join him.

  I unbuckle my seatbelt. ‘Let’s just do this so we can get going.’

  Rafa grunts. ‘If he points that rifle at me, it’s going up his arse.’

  We pile out of the jeep and take up positions either side of Simon. Rusty’s gaze goes straight to me, but Mick scours all of us. The torchlight lingers on Ez.

  He steps forward. ‘What the fuck happened to your face?’

  She levels her gaze at him. ‘What the fuck happened to yours?’

  It throws Mick for a second. He blinks, and then looks back to the rest of us. ‘What’s with all the black?’

  ‘They’re from the city,’ Simon says.

  ‘That’d be right.’ Mick hawks up a wad of phlegm and spits it away from him with practiced efficiency. ‘Cos we need more friggin’ faggots dry-humping our chicks at your brother’s pansy-arse bar. We can never have too many ars
eholes with money coming up here, can we, Rusty? Think we’re all dense, don’t they?’ Mick taps the shotgun against his head.

  Rusty shrugs. ‘Simon’s all right.’ He points the fencepost at him. ‘You wouldn’t hang out with wankers, would you, mate?’

  ‘Not if I could help it.’

  Not quite a resounding endorsement.

  ‘Present company excepted, of course,’ I say, gesturing to the brothers. I know I should keep quiet, but we’ve got places to be.

  Mick eyes me up and down. ‘Your tits aren’t that good, love. You might wanna watch your mouth.’

  He gets that I was being facetious. I’m impressed.

  ‘So,’ Mick says, shining the torch at Rafa. ‘You wanna tell me what you cocksuckers are really doing in my backyard?’

  ‘Nope,’ Rafa says. ‘And if you’re still blocking my path in another thirty seconds, I’m going to come over there and snap that fat neck of yours.’

  Mick’s eyes harden. ‘What did you just say?’

  ‘You heard me.’

  Mick swings the gun off his shoulder and points the barrel at Rafa’s head.

  ‘Hey, mate, calm down.’ Simon’s hands come up in front of him.

  ‘Fuck that,’ Mick spits. ‘Nobody talks to me like that.’

  Zak materialises out of the darkness behind the brothers. Simon flinches, but Mick is so fixated on Rafa he doesn’t notice. Rusty does though. He looks over his shoulder, just as Zak’s hands flash up and crack the brothers’ heads together.

  They slump to the ground like wilting flowers.

  ‘You took your time,’ Rafa says to Zak. ‘Another few seconds of listening to that and I would’ve had to rip his tongue out.’

  Simon is looking from Zak to the Butler boys, jaw slack. ‘How…?’

  Rafa ignores him. He and Zak drag the brothers off the track. They lean them against each other with their backs to a gum tree. Rafa pockets the shells out of the shotgun and leaves the empty weapon across Mick’s thighs. Jason turns off the torch and sets it within Rusty’s reach.

  ‘You’re just going to leave them here?’ Simon says.

  Rafa and Zak are already halfway to the car, so Ez goes over to him.

  ‘That wasn’t a hard hit. They won’t be out long. We need to go before they come to because next time Zak won’t be so gentle.’