Gut Deep: Torn Worlds Book One

by Augustine, Donna

  They were vampires. They’d side with their own. He’d probably only smiled to screw with me. I stopped watching as the next two came near, refusing to let any more vampires rattle me.

  Finally a shifter. It was the woman who’d taken the lead thus far. She neared me, tipping her head back, and then came closer. She paused, her eyes downcast, a slight tilt to her head. She shifted her eyes over my shoulder, in Donovan’s direction.

  Donovan said he’d called in favors. He said it was going to be okay. I trusted him. Why? He owed me nothing. I shouldn’t have fucked Donovan before I got here because I shouldn’t have come here at all.

  Three more shifters came and checked me out, each one looking as doubtful as the next. They circled back around until everyone was again in their places behind the long table. Mallard moved closer to me at the same time I felt Donovan wrap his arm back around my waist, pulling me into his side. His presence didn’t comfort me much when Mallard’s eyes told me it wouldn’t be there for much longer.

  “Donovan, the mark does seem to be rather weak. Would you like to explain this?” the oldest-looking male shifter on the panel asked.

  “If you want a play-by-play of our interactions, you’re not going to get it,” Donovan said. “What goes on between us is our business. She’s marked. That should suffice. The law of the pact between our races says the highest-ranking person gets their choice. I rank higher.”

  “Does anyone have any last words before we make our decision?” the female vampire asked.

  I wanted to fall on my knees and plead for help, tell them what a monster Mallard was. I wouldn’t because I’d heard of plenty of people begging to the scourge before me, and it had always fallen on deaf ears. They knew the monster Mallard was because they were monsters themselves. Still, the urge driven by desperation nearly had me kneeling before them.

  Just when I thought I might crack, Donovan squeezed my waist, pulling me tighter to his side as if he were waging this battle with me. It was another show, but this time I chose to pretend it wasn’t. I leaned into him, borrowing whatever strength I could.

  Mallard stepped forward. “He can say she’s marked, but we all know what this is about, and it’s not legal. He’s endangering our very pact, the thing that keeps this entire country stabilized, with his pettiness. By ruling in his favor, you’ll create turmoil that will have rippling effects that could destroy everything we’ve built.”

  I watched the council’s faces as the gravity of what Mallard said hit them. If I’d been on this panel, I would’ve voted in his favor. I was dead.

  “Is that all?” the female shifter asked.

  “Yes,” Mallard said, turning and smiling at Donovan. “I think that should be enough if everyone here is committed to this society surviving.”

  “If all the parties would step out for a moment?” the female shifter asked.

  I wasted no time heading out the doors and into the lobby, away from the doubting eyes of the council. Donovan walked out after me, positioning himself in between Mallard and myself.

  I eyed the door, the guards, Mallard, wondering if I could make it out of here alive. Even Donovan might stop me. Sure, maybe he’d called in favors, or maybe he hadn’t. Either way, if they ruled against him, he wouldn’t put himself on the line to save me from this, not out in the open to the council, where it could ruin his life.

  Donovan’s eyes met mine, and he gave me a little nod, as if to say things would be okay. That was all it took—I wanted to unload every fear I was bottling up. Had he seen the doubt on the council’s faces? They’d looked right at him. He must’ve. How could he be so calm? Because his life wasn’t on the line. What did any of this really mean to him?

  I turned, facing the guards who never looked at anyone. It was the only place where I wouldn’t see Mallard or let Donovan suck me into his false serenity.

  Donovan wrapped his hand around my wrist and towed me closer to him. I didn’t have the strength to push him away, and not the willingness to prove Mallard right. There was a hissing sound not far from my back and an answering growl beneath my ear.

  He tugged me closer until my body was flush with his. His smell surrounded me, his heartbeat close. The show must go on until the bitter end, and I took whatever false solace I could before I was plunged into hell.

  The doors opened. That was fast. Coupled with the expressions they’d made over my marking, I was doomed. I pulled back from Donovan, but he reached out, wrapping his arm around me again.

  Mallard walked in, head high and shoulders back like a conqueror about to stick his flag in the ground after a victory.

  I glared at Donovan as if he were about to murder me himself. His eyes flickered back toward the guards and then to me again. “Have faith,” he said softly.

  Faith? I’d had faith before the takeover. Before I’d seen my neighbors shot on their front lawn and people begging in the street for food. Before Sal was killed for helping feed a baby. Faith had gotten me nowhere. Now I had survival instincts, and they were telling me to run hard and fast, except Donovan’s arm was around my waist, tugging me forward toward my demise.

  We walked into the room, and I saw the faces of the council. I’d heard once that if a jury was going to convict someone, they wouldn’t look at them. No one was looking at me. Donovan positioned us so that he continued to be between Mallard and me. That buffer might end in the next minute.

  “We, the council, having full authority over this matter, have come to a decision. Are you prepared to accept our decision?” the lead vampire asked.

  “Yes, Melinda,” Mallard said, using her first name as if they were on the closest terms.

  “Of course,” Donovan said.

  I said nothing. I was property, after all. No one gave a shit what I agreed to.

  “The rules of the pact were put in place to keep things clean, so that we didn’t have interspecies issues. We have a common need, and we can’t have that disrupted. Peace must remain between both races if we want to continue on and safeguard what we’ve achieved,” Melinda said, going through a spiel that was hard to hear as my heart pumped a last rebellion that rang in my ears.

  They were going to rule against Donovan. They were going to hand me over to Mallard, essentially sentencing me to death. I was going to walk out of here as Mallard’s property and die shortly after.

  “Donovan has claimed the human. He’s the senior in this dispute. She’s his as long as she’s marked by him. That is our final ruling.” Melinda turned and said directly to Donovan, “But if we find out you’re doing this for deceitful purposes, it will be just as harmful for the pact, and we will reverse our decision.”

  I stood there, gaping. He’d won. We’d won.

  “Understood,” Donovan said.

  I still doubted what I’d heard, and would’ve kept doubting if Mallard hadn’t started arguing.

  “This is ridiculous. You know he’s—”

  “We’ve made our ruling. You promised to abide by it,” Melinda said.

  I turned and threw my arms around Donovan, burying my head in his neck, too stunned to do much else.

  The doors slammed open, banging against the wall as Mallard disappeared. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. I was going home. I was free.

  Donovan nodded in the council’s direction and then steered me out.

  Mallard was already gone by the time we walked into the lobby, and Bigs had the car running outside the door. I felt hands steering me into the car. I sank into the seat but didn’t breathe easy until the car was pulling away. Even then, I was waiting for someone to drag me back in and say they’d changed their minds.

  No. She’d said final. It was okay. I was free.

  Fifteen

  Donovan

  “I thought even if your people voted your way, it was going to be a stalemate at best. And then when they decided so quickly, I was sure…” Pen shook her head, shivering slightly.

  “A stalemate isn’t an option. They have a limited time to
come to a decision. If they can’t, the council is replaced. It’s in their best interest to handle things efficiently.” I turned my head back to the street passing us by.

  I was rattled as well, but for another reason. The urge to protect her, comfort her, even, swelled in me for no reason I could fathom. I normally detested the innate weakness in humans, but not with her. If the council had ruled against us, I wasn’t sure what I might’ve done, consequences be damned.

  That council meeting had been an eye-opener. If I hadn’t called in a favor, they would’ve handed her over to Mallard. The questioning looks on the council’s faces during the meeting had chilled me to my bones. It was followed by a boiling rage as I imagined Mallard dragging Pen away from me while I watched. The thing that chilled me most was that I didn’t know if I would’ve let it happen.

  I might’ve killed Mallard as soon as he moved to touch her. That was the extent of rage I felt, and there was no fathomable reason why. She was a human. I barely liked my own people.

  Even now, I wanted to lean over and bite her lower lip, cover her body with mine, claim her the way I said I had so she was properly marked. That wouldn’t lead to anything good for either of us. I needed to get rid of her, and as fast as possible. Getting involved with her was one of the worst mistakes I’d ever made.

  We’d only been driving a few moments when a strange number flashed on my screen. Not many people had this cell phone.

  “Hello?”

  “You’re going to have to keep her with you. If this looks fake, it’s my neck on the line. I had to offer assurances. It was the only way I could get the favor. We all want our asses covered.”

  I spared a glance across the car, Pen’s human ears hearing nothing of the conversation.

  “Are you sure that’s necessary?” I couldn’t have her in my house, underfoot all the time. I’d either end up fucking her or moving out. There was something about her that I couldn’t quite put my finger on, but she was digging her way into my psyche.

  “Yes, I do. You needed the favor. I produced. Don’t fuck me over.”

  “Fine. It’ll be done.”

  I hit end and then flipped the phone top over bottom a few times, letting the situation absorb into my mind like the battering ram it felt like.

  What if I dropped her off at Huddy’s? No. That wouldn’t do. As much as I didn’t want her in my home, the idea of her there tripped some sort of switch in me—not as severe as her being with Mallard, but not altogether comfortable either. The idea of any man near her was making the beast in me want to come out. It was another reason to get rid of her, but that was no longer an option.

  “Bigs, turn the car around. We’re heading home.” As soon as I said it, the reality hit me in the gut. I was stuck with her, whether I wanted to be or not. The fact that I didn’t mind as much as I should’ve made it that much worse.

  “Is there a problem? I’m sure I can catch a shuttle from here if you let me out.” Her eyes went wide as she waited for my response. The first scent of panic since we’d left the council hit the air.

  She’d thought she was off the hook after they ruled in our favor. The surprise revealed her youth. Life very rarely gave you free rides. If you were saved, there was a savior waiting for their pound of flesh. She’d escaped Mallard, but not without a price. Now she was stuck with me.

  “That won’t work,” I said.

  “Why?” Pen’s lips parted, eyes wide, like she was a stunned animal who thought they’d gotten something for free and found themselves caught.

  “You’ll be staying with me until this situation is resolved.” I turned, not wanting to look at her at all, hating how she made me feel after decades of numbness. What was happening to me?

  “What do you mean? Are you saying I can’t go home?” She locked her fingers around the handle of the car door as we got onto a highway ramp and Bigs hit the gas.

  I waved toward the door. “Go ahead. That might solve all our problems.”

  She wouldn’t get the door cracked. What I’d said might be true—it would be an easy out for the both of us—but I wouldn’t let her do it. I couldn’t.

  No matter how much I wanted to deny it, part of me was relieved that she would be staying with me. That made me want to kick her out the door faster. A human was a liability in my world, a weakness that could undermine my authority at a time when I couldn’t afford to loosen my hold. Then there were the human and shifter relationships I’d seen. They never ended well. Interactions with humans turned bad. Always.

  Still, I watched her hand on the door, waiting to see if she’d be crazy enough to try it.

  Her chest rose and fell slowly, as she tried to temper her feelings, before she asked in a voice as calm as she could probably muster, “What’s going on, exactly? Why do I have to stay with you?”

  At least she accepted what had to be done and wasn’t like most of the irrational humans I’d met. That was something.

  “That was the person who I called in the favor from. Things were on the brink of going against us. He put his reputation on the line. If he says this is the way it has to be until things calm down, that’s what is going to happen, because I gave my word.” And a werewolf lived by his word or didn’t have a life worth living. No pack. No family. We were a breed of integrity; we stuck together no matter what. If you didn’t, you were never truly accepted—like my mother, for example.

  Pen rubbed her hands over her face and through her hair. Her body, ready for a fight five minutes ago, slumped back on the car seat. The spark in her eyes faded to a dull acceptance.

  “Because if he or she hadn’t, I’d be dead,” she said, turning to look away from me.

  “Yes.”

  I’d been so close to rolling the dice, letting things play out whatever way they would. Pen brought nothing but complications to my life, and yet right before we’d pulled up to her house, I’d called in that favor. She had no idea how close she’d been to falling into Mallard’s hands. How close I’d been to letting that very thing happen just to free myself of this strange pull she had on me.

  “And if this looks like a mockery, all our heads will be on the chopping block,” she said.

  I watched as she shuffled in her seat again, this time leaning forward, resting her head in her hands.

  “You understand, right?” I asked. She better, because this could be life and death for her.

  “Yes. I understand.” She straightened and took a few breaths, then turned to me again, eyeing me with an intensity that was unusual from a woman I wasn’t fucking. “Except for one thing. Why? You could’ve let the council rule against you. Wouldn’t it have been easier? So you might take a small ding to your reputation. Is this really worth it?”

  I gave her the only plausible reason I could think of, because the truth was too hard to stomach. “I was already committed. If I let Mallard back me down after stating my claim, it would’ve made me look weaker than I could afford.”

  She nodded in slow motion, not looking quite sold. Neither was I.

  It was a relief when she let it go and didn’t ask anything else. She leaned against the other side of the car, looking like a caged animal. She reminded me of the one and only time I’d visited the zoo and seen a sad lioness, who’d tired of pacing the enclosure and accepted defeat. I’d never gone back to that horrid place again.

  “I have a large house. We’ll barely have to see each other, and you’ll have plenty of room to yourself.” Plenty of room for us to avoid each other. I wouldn’t have to see her if I didn’t want to.

  I wasn’t sure who I was giving a pep talk to, her or me, and I wasn’t helping either.

  “How long will I need to stay with you?” She moved another inch away from me, leaning her head against the window.

  “As long as it takes.” How long indeed? I wish I knew that as well. One thing was clear: I could not get further involved with her, no matter what it took.

  Sixteen

  Penelope

  I’d bee
n summoned. That was the only way to describe the knock on my door this morning, with instructions from the maid to go see Donovan. I felt like I was getting called to the dean’s office as I trudged my way downstairs and looked about the place that had been a blur last night. They could at least tell me where the damned office was or draw a map for me. This house had too many rooms to navigate without some pointers.

  I made a bunch of lefts, walked past some other maids who were cleaning, the kitchen and some useless-looking rooms, until I ended up back in the main hall again.

  Donovan called out, “I’m in here.”

  Figured he’d be to the right. I followed his voice through the empty living room, into another room off the back.

  I immediately knew I was in his inner lair. The room had wood paneling and leather seating. It was dark and masculine, like the man, and even had that same sage and mandarin scent.

  He had an arm leaning on the mantel, with a glass of amber liquid in the other hand. On a normal day, with a normal person, I might’ve poked fun about him drinking so early in the day. But nothing about today or this man was normal, and I knew exactly why he was drinking.

  “Shut the door,” he said as he looked up.

  I did as he asked and then put my attention to finding the bar. Not only would I not make a joke, I’d join him as soon as I tracked down the source.

  “That’s not apple juice, right?” I’d never seen juice in a crystal rocks glass, but this place seemed fancy enough that you had to wonder.

  “Bourbon. Why? Do you find it too early to drink? I assure you, it’s not.” His tone was as dry and humorless as I felt inside.

  “No. I was going to ask if you have any more.”

  “I’ve got a few cases. Not sure that’s going to be enough, but it’ll have to do.” He straightened off the mantel and walked around to the other side of the room, where a cabinet hid the bottle and glasses. He filled one for me and then topped off his.