Gut Deep: Torn Worlds Book One

by Augustine, Donna

  “Any stirrings around town from Mallard?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

  “Nothing,” Huddy said.

  “Who knew what a patient fuck he’d be.” I finished my drink and stood. “Hold down the fort.”

  “You got it.”

  I got home after midnight and walked to my room, wondering if she might be in there waiting for me. She wouldn’t be. She’d never make a first move between us for the same reason I shouldn’t. It was trouble and a bad ending in the making. No one would write sonnets about our love story. We were strictly blues territory.

  I should do what she was doing, keeping my senses about me, keeping my distance, and keeping my hands off her.

  My room was empty, as expected. Instead of going to bed, the way I should, I turned and made my way back into the hall. The light was shining under her door.

  I opened it without knocking.

  She was awake, lying on her bed with silky sleep shorts and a tank to match. She might not have come to my room, but she’d been waiting for me to come to hers.

  She turned my way, her nipples pebbled, her tongue dashing out, making her lips moist for me.

  I walked over without a word, threw her over my shoulder, and walked back down the hall, waiting for her to tell me to stop. She didn’t.

  I dropped her onto my bed, and she pushed herself up on her elbows. The silk camisole slipped down, her hardened nipples the only thing keeping it from sliding the rest of the way off her breasts.

  I climbed down on top of her, parting her thighs wide with my knee as I settled in between her legs, pressing my erection against her heat and then stopping, waiting for something.

  I wasn’t going to hell alone. She’d have to make the drop with me. She leaned up, biting my lower lip, tugging my head toward her, triggering us both.

  I wasn’t sure who was more ravenous. I couldn’t tell if I was pressing harder or she was grabbing on to me as if her life depended on our flesh melding.

  She arched into me as I thrust forward, running the ridge of my cock against her. I bunched the silk of her shorts, the fabric falling away from her with the slightest tug.

  She tore at my shirt, pulling it apart, not caring if the buttons ripped off, before moving to my zipper, taking my cock in her hand, wrapping her small hand around its hard length, and running her fingers over its ridge.

  We were frenzied in our need to touch, fuck. I sank into her to the hilt in one thrust, her arching into me. Then I fucked her like I was claiming her for real, reveling in the groans as she bowed, taking every bit of me and still wanting more until we were both spent.

  This time, when I lay beside her, there was no denying the connection we had, at least in bed. Didn’t make it any more startling. Of all the souls in the world, why did it have to be a human female, one that could never work out?

  “Why med school?” I asked as we lay there, fully sated and spent, at least for the moment.

  “Why not?” she asked, keeping her secrets close as always, as if she feared letting me in even an inch more into her psyche would dissolve her world.

  “That’s what it was? A whim? I find that hard to believe. Was it the potential earnings?” I asked, trying to pry out another little bit of information.

  “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

  Even if I wanted something more, she’d never trust me. How did you uproot your life when every conversation was a tug of war? How did you try to make a future work when the present wouldn’t?

  “Why are you so secretive? What are you hiding, Pen?” I asked, knowing there was something dark she was holding on to and knowing she’d never tell me just because I asked.

  “Nothing,” she said way too fast. “It’s not a secret. I wanted to help people. If we’re going to start sharing, did you help plan the takeover?”

  “No.”

  I caught that look in her eyes that scared the hell out of me. The one that said I was the farthest thing from a monster that she’d ever met.

  “Don’t get any noble ideas. It wasn’t to save mankind. I’m not some bleeding heart who was protecting humans. The entire thing sounded like a pain in the ass. Unfortunately, it turned out just as I feared.”

  She’d never be able to accept me for what I was. What I’d done in my life. The type of life I lived. I might seem civilized, but I was a shifter, a werewolf, who’d maimed and ripped others apart to save my pack and would do it again. Considering what I feared was coming, the future would be bloodier than ever.

  “Don’t fall for me, Pen. I’ve done things in my life that would make you cringe and run for cover.” It was one of the most truthful statements I’d ever spoken. And still, I could see the doubt in her eyes, as if I couldn’t be quite that bad.

  Not bad enough to fear but not good enough to trust.

  She rolled back over, breaking eye contact as she said, “Get over yourself, wolf man. You’re not that irresistible. My heart is safe in my chest.”

  I laughed, hoping it was true.

  Twenty-Nine

  Donovan

  I hadn’t left the house yet. It had nothing to do with Pen. Absolutely nothing. If I wanted to leave late, I could. It was my house, after all. If I preferred to sit in the living room, scrolling through my tablet, while she read one of her weird books, so be it.

  There was a knock at the front door. Pen’s eyes jerked up, shooting toward the hall, her knuckles going white.

  “No one comes in here without my permission,” I said.

  She nodded, as if she hadn’t gone into a panic at a mere knock.

  “I got it,” I yelled to Bigs, who was walking out of the kitchen. He nodded, turning around and going back to his tea.

  The sergeant of the local HBE stood in the door. He was a beta werewolf I’d known for decades.

  “What brings you out?” I asked, not inviting him in, because the female on the couch was already chewing her nails to stubs.

  “This is really awkward, but…” He was looking at the ground and scratching the back of his neck. This was part of the problem with having betas as heads of the HBE. It went against their grain to question an alpha. It was a problem I had no intention of fixing.

  “What is it?” I asked, wanting him gone so Pen would stop staring like she was going to get dragged out by her hair.

  The guy’s face turned beet red. “You’re not stocking a soup kitchen for the humans, are you?”

  And now I knew where all my missing food went. How much food was she sending? This was not a good look for the alpha of D.C. Luckily, Pen’s observation of me not giving a fuck was dead on.

  “That’s a ridiculous question.” With an even crazier answer, because I guess, technically, I was supplying a soup kitchen.

  “Just some weird rumors going around. I had to ask. I’m really sorry to have bothered you.” He waved and couldn’t get off my stoop quicker. He’d check off his box and go forth, declaring the lead investigated fully.

  I shut the door. Pen, who’d been paying avid attention up until now, suddenly seemed engrossed in her book again. I made my way back toward her as she pretended to read.

  “You wouldn’t know what he’s talking about?” I asked, stopping beside her, giving her leg a nudge.

  She glanced up, wide-eyed. “No idea.”

  I should’ve demanded she stop, but I couldn’t without being the biggest hypocrite in the world. It was exactly what I would’ve done.

  I couldn’t pat her on the back, either. She could get into serious trouble for it, or would if I didn’t bail her out again. All in all, I guess it didn’t much matter.

  I did what any sane person would do: dropped the subject and moved on to a more important issue. “There’s a party tonight I want to make an appearance at. There’s a strong chance Mallard will be there. It’s the exact type of function he enjoys.”

  She closed the book. “More pushing?”

  “Yes. If this doesn’t work, we might have to take the risk of getting you out of t
he country.” I watched her closely, thinking of what Huddy had said about keeping her here.

  She’d want to leave. Why shouldn’t she? There was nothing for her here but being used if she stayed. She’d be less than for the rest of her life. Her story deserved a better ending.

  “I thought it was too risky?” she asked, her feelings shuttered, closing me out.

  “There’s a risk, but we might have to take the chance.”

  “Would I be able to take someone with me?” she asked. Her eyes shot to me as she bit her lower lip.

  I’d never thought to ask if she’d had someone when this had all started. I hadn’t cared then. Now, even the hint of another man made my hackles rise.

  “Like who?” I asked, dragging in a long, slow breath, trying to remain calm.

  “I don’t know. Just a hypothetical.” She shrugged.

  I didn’t believe that for a second. It was another secret to pile up in between us.

  “I’m not sure,” I said, playing her game of evasion.

  She nodded, dropping her eyes and dragging my gut right along with them, making me feel like I wanted to do war with some unknown man that might not exist.

  I walked away before I pressed for an answer she wouldn’t give.

  Bigs was having his afternoon tea in the kitchen. I pulled out a chair in front of him and sat. He smiled, as if he wasn’t nervous, as if he didn’t think I was going to ask him about the stockpile of boxes in the garage and the HBE at the door. Right now, I didn’t give a fuck if we opened a soup kitchen in the garage.

  “Does Penelope text or talk to many people?” This had nothing to do with vampires. If she did communicate with them, she’d be smart enough to hide it from Bigs. But maybe a boyfriend? We hadn’t been involved until recently. Bigs might’ve heard something.

  “Not that I know of.”

  “So there’s no man in the picture?”

  “Doesn’t appear to be, other than her father,” he said.

  Could her father be the person she wanted to bring? Did that explain some of the disappearing food? But if she had a father, he wasn’t doing a very good job. How lousy was he? I would’ve done whatever needed to keep a daughter out of my mother’s house.

  “What’s the deal with him?” I asked. “I can’t believe a father would want his daughter around vampires.”

  “Word is he’s a wastrel. Spends most of his time in between being drunk and passed out.”

  I might have beef with my mother, but I’d always come first. Part of that might’ve had to do with wanting to ride my coattails. My father had been without fault.

  I leaned back. “Is there any other family?”

  “There doesn’t seem to be anyone at the house she lived in.”

  I put a finger to my temple. “Thanks.”

  “Did you want to know anything else?” Bigs asked, as if he wanted to share something else. Like he was dying to tell me more.

  “No.”

  That had been more than enough. Any more and my newly discovered savior complex might grow a second head.

  “How did…” I shook my head. “Never mind.” I didn’t want to know how he’d found out about her father. That might lead to more information, and I might feel compelled to ask more questions. I’d already heard plenty.

  * * *

  Pen didn’t say much as we drove to the party. She sat next to me, dressed in red, her hair a mass of curls cascading around her.

  I’d warned her it was going to be a large gathering, hosted by one of the more important vampires in the area. I’d explained how I was going to leave her dangling out there alone tonight, while I watched, hoping Mallard would both attend and make a move, how the distance might entice him to cross the line. If he did, I’d have grounds to kill him on the spot and no one would be able to do a thing about it. Something I said obviously hadn’t sat well with her, because she’d been quiet ever since.

  “You don’t need to worry. I’ll be watching the entire time. Huddy is also coming,” I said, watching to see if that would calm the nerves I knew she had.

  “I’m fine,” she said, nodding.

  I’d heard the “I’m fine” answer before. It usually came right before I broke it off with whatever female I’d been dating. The “I’m fine” ushered in a whole new territory of relationship baggage, where you then had to set off on a truth-seeking mission, like some emotional scavenger hunt. I’d never been interested in playing the game myself until tonight.

  So why did I suddenly want to partake? No fucking way was I playing this game.

  She turned slightly to me, pausing before she asked, “Can they all do that mind-control thing?”

  So much for not playing the game. I had to focus on keeping my grip light on the steering wheel so I didn’t break my favorite car. I’d just gotten the thing. “What do you know about that?”

  “Nothing, really. Mostly heard about it.” She shrugged, looking out the window again.

  Mostly. Don’t break the car. If you break the car, you’ll be stuck waiting for Bigs, and you won’t get to the party and have a chance to kill Mallard.

  “Did Mallard use it on you?” I asked.

  “It wasn’t a big deal,” she said.

  “I need to know what he can do.” I could guess at how strong his pull was on a human. I couldn’t guess at what he’d done, though.

  The longer she took to answer, the more rage built inside of me. The truth probably wasn’t as bad as what I was imagining. I needed answers, because if I didn’t get them, I was going to think the worst, and I would kill Mallard, pact be damned.

  “Pen, if you want my help, you need to tell me,” I said.

  “It’s just…” She shook her head. “It’s embarrassing the way he controlled me.”

  Calm. I had to stay calm.

  “In what way?” Don’t break the car. She might stop talking if you rip the steering wheel from the dash.

  “He made me kneel with my face pressed to the ground. I couldn’t talk while he circled me. It was—unsettling, is all.”

  My gut said it was worse than she was letting on, but I couldn’t discuss it further.

  “Maybe we shouldn’t go tonight,” I said, trying to keep my voice level.

  “No. You said this might help.”

  How did I tell her I might kill him? And if I did without provocation, things would get even worse for her, because she’d really end up in the middle of a war.

  We pulled up to the door of the estate. The valet took the keys. I wrapped an arm around Pen’s waist as we walked into the packed room.

  “Do you see him?” she asked.

  “Yes. He’s staring at us right now. He’s at eleven o’clock.”

  Her body stiffened but her chin went up. Her eyes hardened.

  “Go mingle,” she said. “I’m fine. Let’s get this over with.”

  God, she was fucking amazing. After what he’d done to her, how vulnerable she still was, she stood there looking like she could conquer the world.

  “I won’t lose sight of you,” I said.

  “I know.” She pulled from my side and walked off.

  Huddy was leaning near the bar. He hated these functions as much as I did, but I needed an extra set of eyes tonight.

  “What happened?” Huddy asked.

  I relayed the details quickly, watching his brow drop and violence simmer in his stare.

  “You can’t kill him unless he makes a move,” Huddy said.

  I hadn’t mentioned murder, but it was nice to be on the same page.

  “I might not be able to kill him tonight, but I will kill him. It’s a matter of when.” Mallard’s death warrant had been signed on the drive over as I watched Pen struggle to tell me the few details she had.

  “You’d risk the pact for her?” He leaned forward.

  “He’s a problem, and we all know it. His own people don’t like him. I’d be doing everyone a favor.”

  There was a long pause. “But you’re not doing them a
favor. You’re doing it for her.”

  “Do you have a problem with that?”

  Huddy didn’t say anything for a second. “You know me better than that,” he said softly. “I’ll back you, whatever this comes to, and so will the pack.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.” I patted him on the arm, knowing he would. I was so ready for a fight that I was looking in places I shouldn’t, but not for long. I had the bastard standing across the room in my sights, and he wasn’t getting a free ride too much longer.

  “You need to stand down tonight, because you can’t do it here unless he crosses a line,” Huddy said.

  “I know. But it’s coming soon.” I watched Mallard, praying he’d make a wrong move.

  Thirty

  Penelope

  Mallard stood across the room, his eyes following me as I meandered through the crowd. The only reason I didn’t die of a heart attack was that Donovan watched as well. He’d protect me. It was strange to feel so confident about that, but I knew it as surely as I knew I’d take my next breath. I just needed to get through tonight.

  I weaved in and out of small groups, while everyone watched me but nobody spoke or smiled, even though I’d shown up on Donovan’s arm. This was going to be a very long evening.

  There was a small group in the corner, two women and one man, all attractive and all staring. Definitely not vampires. Werewolves? Possibly, but they seemed to be missing a certain edge.

  The shortest of the women waved me over. Having no other destination, I went.

  “I’m Pat. Nice to meet you,” she said, holding out her hand, as friendly as could be.

  I’d figured I’d be the perpetual outcast here. This didn’t seem so bad. There were some welcoming shifters, even if the vampires all looked as if they wanted to rip my jugular out.

  “Pen. Nice to meet you too,” I said, smiling.

  The guy leaned closer. “I’m Eric. We’re the human mates. We’ve heard about you.”

  The humans. Okay, well, it was just as bad as I’d feared. I didn’t want to think about what Donovan’s mother had said, but it echoed in my mind. I’d be an outcast, never accepted.