Mother For His Children, A

by Drexler, Jan

  Ruthy sat in the corner of the truck’s passenger seat, as far from Elam as she could. Grace slept peacefully, but for how long? And then what would she do? She had no clean diapers, no bottles, nothing to take care of the baby.

  Elam hadn’t stopped talking, but she had stopped listening. His talk of going to California, making it “big in Hollywood”—whatever that meant—alarmed her. He couldn’t be serious, could he? Was he going to drive all the way there?

  Ruthy chanced a sideways glance at Elam. His eyes on the road, he drove with his left hand on the steering wheel, gesturing with his right. He was animated and excited, not noticing her discomfort.

  He drove on back roads, where the houses were scarce. Eventually they would come to a town, though, and she might be able to find help. Would anyone notice an Amish woman in a truck?

  Elam drove around Lancaster, avoiding the city, but once they crossed the Susquehanna River, Ruthy was lost. She had never been this far from home except by train. The afternoon was waning, and Grace was beginning to stir. Her diaper was soiled and it was near her feeding time.

  “Elam.” He didn’t respond, so Ruthy raised her voice. “Elam?”

  “What?” He barked the word. He never liked being interrupted.

  “Grace is going to be hungry soon, and she needs a diaper change. Is there somewhere we can get some milk, and something to use for a diaper?”

  He glanced over at her and the baby. “Yeah, I guess we have to. We’ll stop at a store when we come to a town. You gotta speak English, though. That way they’ll think we’re Mennonite and won’t think twice about the truck.”

  Elam was still speeding along back roads with no town in sight when Grace’s crying turned to screaming. Ruthy tried to keep her quiet, but the baby was hungry, and there was nothing she could do to pacify her. Elam drove faster and faster along the gravel road, but there was no town, no store, not even a farmhouse. Finally he skidded to a stop by the side of the road.

  “I can’t stand that noise.” He pounded on the steering wheel and yelled, “You’ve got to make her stop, or I will.”

  “She’s hungry,” Ruthy shouted back at him. Grace’s crying filled the cab of the truck. “She won’t stop until she gets something to eat.”

  Elam reached under the seat, pulling out a dirty bottle with brown liquid in it. “Give her some of this. It’ll keep her quiet.”

  Ruthy moved the baby as far away from him as she could. “That’s whiskey. I won’t give her that. She needs milk.”

  He eyed the bottle, and then the baby, and stuck the bottle back under the seat.

  “If the brat’s going to be this much trouble, then leave her here. I only wanted you to come, anyway.”

  “Leave her here?” Ruthy echoed his words without thinking as she looked out the windows. The road they were on went between two empty fields. She couldn’t see a house anywhere.

  “Yeah. Just put her by the road. Somebody will find her.” He shifted his leg and the engine roared.

  “You can’t be serious. She isn’t a piece of baggage or an animal that you can leave behind when it becomes a bother. She’s helpless. She needs someone to take care of her.”

  Elam glowered at her, his brows dark and heavy over his eyes. Had she ever loved him? Or had he changed so much in just a few short months?

  “Then you get out with her.”

  Ruthy looked around them again. It was getting dark and the road was still deserted.

  Elam reached across her and lifted the door handle.

  “Go on. Get out. You won’t leave the brat here, and you can’t take it with you, so get out. It was a mistake to think this would work. I’ll do better on my own.”

  She got down from the truck, Grace screaming in her ear. Elam pulled the door shut and gunned the motor. Red taillights disappeared in the dust kicked up by the truck, and he was gone.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Levi accepted the cup of coffee someone handed him and took a sip of the bitter liquid. Ezekiel, Naomi, Matthias and the rest of Ruthy’s family sat around the kitchen table, exhausted and defeated, while some of the neighbor women worked to feed the searchers.

  Two days. It had been two days and there was still no sign of her. It seemed every Amish family from Lancaster to Ephrata had joined in on the search, but there had been no glimpse of Elam’s truck, Ruthy or the baby.

  With nothing more to discuss, no more ideas to pursue, they sat silently. Naomi worried a handkerchief in her hands, turning and twisting it over and over.

  When the sound of an automobile drifted through the open window, Levi and the other men jumped up to look out the window. Two men in uniforms were emerging from the white vehicle. The state police.

  No one had informed the police of Ruthy’s disappearance, had they? How did they end up here?

  Levi followed Ezekiel to the front door. The policeman who knocked looked at a card in his hand. “I’m Officer Charles, this is Williams. We’re looking for the Nafziger residence.”

  Ezekiel stepped back so the two men could come in. “Elam Nafziger is our neighbor, on the next farm east. Have you been there?”

  “Yes, but no one is around. The place looks empty.”

  Ezekiel exchanged glances with Levi.

  “Why are you looking for him?” Levi asked. “Is there some kind of trouble?”

  The policeman cleared his throat. “Is there someone we could talk to? Next of kin?”

  “Elam is a widower, and his parents passed on several years ago.” Ezekiel shrugged his shoulders. “I suppose I’m about as close to him as anyone. Why do you ask?”

  The policeman handed the card to Ezekiel. “There was an accident, and the man carrying this driver’s license was injured. He was wearing Amish clothes, but he had been driving a Ford truck. Could this be the same Elam Nafziger?”

  Ezekiel rubbed at the blood on the card with his thumb. “He was injured, you say? Will he... Will he survive?”

  Officer Charles nodded. “We think he’ll be fine, eventually. He has some broken ribs and a concussion. He’ll have to stay in the hospital for a while, but he should recover.”

  Levi stared at the card in Ezekiel’s hand. If Elam had been in an accident, what had happened to Ruthy?

  “Was there anyone with him in the truck?” Levi’s voice cracked and he cleared his throat. “A young woman? A baby?”

  The policeman looked at him, his eyebrows up. “No, he was alone. Was someone supposed to be with him?”

  Levi looked at Ezekiel, waiting until the older man nodded. Ja, it was time to ask for help, even from Englischers.

  “My wife... We think she was with Elam in his truck.”

  The policeman shook his head. “We didn’t find any evidence that anyone else was involved in the accident. Either she wasn’t with him, or she left the vehicle sometime before.”

  “Where did it happen?”

  One of the policemen went back to the car for a map, and everyone gathered around the kitchen table as they spread it out. Officer Charles stuck a thick finger on a spot on the other side of the Susquehanna River, southeast of York.

  “It was out in the middle of nowhere. He had gone off a bridge into a culvert. That’s why the wreck wasn’t spotted right away.”

  “So if Ruthy was with him, before the accident, she must be somewhere in here.” Levi drew his finger along the crooked roads between the spot Officer Charles had pointed out, across the bridge in Columbia, and back to Lancaster.

  “Then let’s start looking.” Matthias grabbed Levi’s shoulder. “You and I can take my buggy and we’ll search the roads all the way to the site of the accident.”

  “You won’t cover much ground in a horse and buggy,” Officer Charles said. “We can use our cruiser, and we’ll contact other state police in
the area. We’ll need a description of both the woman and the baby.”

  “I’m going with you,” Levi said. “I have to find her.”

  Officer Charles nodded, and Levi grabbed his hat and coat off the hook on the wall.

  “We’ll go together,” Matthias said.

  Levi grasped Matthias’s arm in thanks. He could use the help of a brother on this search. The two of them squeezed into the backseat of the police car and Officer Williams started up the motor. Soon they were traveling faster than Levi would have thought possible. Lancaster flashed by in a haze of automobiles and buggies, and they were in open country again.

  “We’ll be crossing the river soon, and then we’ll be in York County.” Matthias spoke Deitsch, close to Levi’s ear so he could be heard above the noise of the motor.

  Levi nodded, and Matthias grasped his arm. “You have nothing to worry about. We’ll find Ruthy and the baby.”

  When Levi only nodded again, Matthias leaned closer to him. “There’s something else wrong, isn’t there? Something you wouldn’t tell Mam and Daed.”

  Rubbing his hand over his beard, Levi considered how much he could tell Matthias. Over the last couple of days, the two of them had grown closer than he could have been with a brother of his own.

  “Ruthy and I... Well, our marriage isn’t all it could be.”

  Matthias nodded. “I thought that might be the case, when she showed up here with Elam.”

  “If...when we find her, I don’t even know if she will want to come home with me. Ever since Elam stopped by our house three weeks ago, she’s been different.”

  Matthias looked out the window, then turned back to Levi. “Did Ruthy tell you about Elam?”

  “Was he the man she had planned to marry?”

  “Elam courted her for years. Ruthy never would look at any other boy, from the time they were in school together. It seemed strange to me that years went by and Elam never got any closer to marrying her. I also didn’t like the way he acted. He joined church at eighteen, but he never seemed to be part of it. Kneeling on the outside, but standing up on the inside, if you know what I mean.”

  Levi nodded. He had known others who had only made the appearance of joining church, but without a real love for the People or God.

  “Then it was announced that he was marrying Laurette. Ruthy had no idea they had been dating, even though Laurette was almost part of the family since her mam died when she was so young. When it got out that Laurette was in the family way... Well, it was a hard way to find out that the two of them had been sneaking around behind her back all summer. Something seemed to die inside my sister.”

  “And that’s when she saw my ad in The Budget.”

  “Ja.” Matthias fell silent. They both watched out the window as the car sped across the bridge. The river stretched out beneath them.

  “When she came back, after Laurette died, I saw a difference in her. Even though she was grieving for her friend, there was a joy that I hadn’t seen since she was a little girl. I think it’s because of you. She married you, and she loves her life. When she talked of her family in Indiana, she mentioned the children, but mostly it was ‘Levi did this’ and ‘Levi did that.’”

  Levi smiled in spite of his worry. He could hear her telling Matthias about the farm and the work there.

  “If Ruthy went with Elam, there’s one thing I know. She didn’t go willingly. He would have had to force her to go with him.”

  Levi glanced at Matthias. Ruthy’s brother gave him a grim smile and squeezed his arm again. “She loves you, Levi, not him. She wouldn’t leave you.”

  A knot that had been growing tighter inside his chest with each passing hour loosened with Matthias’s assurance. They would find her, and he would take her home.

  * * *

  Another truck, but this one wasn’t being driven by Elam. Between Ruthy and George, the farmer who was driving, sat Margie, the farmer’s wife. Without their help, she wouldn’t have known which way to turn after Elam left her by the side of the road. But they had taken her in after she had stumbled into their farmyard on that nightmarish evening two days ago.

  Margie, a woman about Mam’s age, had clucked and scolded like a mother hen, feeding Grace, finding some old diapers she could use, and finally bedding them both down in the spare room.

  George hadn’t been able to make a trip into town yesterday because of trouble with one of his sheep, but first thing this morning they set out for York and the police station there.

  “I don’t want the police involved,” Ruthy had said. “I just want to find a way to get home.”

  George had held up his hand to stop her protests, his bushy gray mustache wiggling back and forth. “We need to tell them what happened to you. Your folks will be worried, and the police can get you home lickety-split.”

  So here she was, in another truck. Margie fussed over Grace as Ruthy thought about her next move. To get home to Mam and Daed, that had to be first. They must be worried to death about her, and at the same time they would be constantly praying. Had they asked the neighbors to search for her? Did they have any idea what had happened to her?

  But then the next thing would be to go back to Indiana. To Levi. To her home. Now that she had been able to forgive Laurette and the icy rock that had taken over her heart was gone, it was time to start fresh with her husband. She loved him. The weeks away from him had softened her heart, for sure, but when she compared Elam to Levi...she didn’t know how she could have ever loved Elam.

  She had honored and respected Levi ever since she met him back in January on that snowy train platform, but somewhere along the way, love had crept in. She had to tell him she loved him. Perhaps, someday, he would come to love her, too.

  George drove the truck into the outskirts of York, a huge city compared to Bird-in-Hand. Ruthy stared at all the automobiles on the streets and the tall buildings in the center of town. George parked the truck in front of a gray limestone police station and escorted them in.

  He led the way to a high desk where a balding man in a police uniform sat. Ruthy forced herself to be calm. She wasn’t used to dealing with so many Englischers.

  The man behind the desk peered at Ruthy. “Well, what do we have here?”

  Ruthy was glad when George spoke for her. “This girl has been separated from her family and needs to get back to them. Is there some way she could get a ride to Lancaster?”

  The policeman smiled. “I think I can do better than that. There are a couple of gentlemen here looking for her. They came in a few minutes ago, wanting to file a missing persons report on a woman with a baby, and their description fits her to a T.”

  Following the policeman down the hall, Ruthy wondered who the men could be. Elam? Or could it be Daed? Tears filled her eyes when she turned into an office and saw Matthias in front of her. He grabbed her in one of his bear hugs, lifting her off her feet.

  “Ach, Matthias, how did you come to be here?”

  “Not only me, Ruthy. Look who I brought with me.”

  As Matthias set her down, he spun her around as if they were playing “pin the tail on the donkey.” Reaching out to grasp something, anything, to keep her balance, a familiar hand reached out to steady her. Levi?

  She looked up into his face, and couldn’t keep the tears back any longer. Even in front of all the people in the tiny office, Levi pulled her into his arms, letting her cry on his shoulder, holding her as if he were never going to let her go.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “How will we get home from the train station?” Ruthy asked, jiggling Grace on her shoulder.

  Levi glanced out the window at the familiar Indiana landscape flashing by. “I sent a telegram to Elias when I bought the tickets back in Lancaster. If he got it in time, he’ll be there to meet us. If not, we should be able to get a
ride from someone.”

  “It will be good to get home.”

  Home. Even though he had only been away a few days, Levi felt the pull of his own kitchen, his own barn, his own bed. His family together. His stomach still clenched when he thought of how close he had come to losing Ruthy—what would he have told his children? But God had been watching over them, for sure.

  “Here, let me hold Grace for a while. You must be tired.” Levi reached for the baby, ignoring the stares of the Amish man across the aisle. It didn’t matter that men didn’t take care of babies. He did. He had taken care of his share of diapers and colic when his first two babies had been born, and he found he liked it. Grace would get just as much attention from him as he could give her.

  He laid Grace on his chest and hummed under his breath. She settled in against him, mesmerized by the sound, as he cradled her tiny body in his hands. Such a wee mite of a thing, and yet it had been all he and Ruthy could do to keep her content on the train ride.

  Levi glanced at Ruthy, and she smiled at him. “You have a way with little ones.”

  “I’ve had a lot of practice.”

  “Ja, you have.”

  “You have a way with babies, too, Ruthy, and with the older ones, as well. You always know just what they need.”

  “I always dreamed of having a big family. Lots of children...” She stopped and bit her lip, turning away from him to look out the window.

  Levi leaned close to her, speaking so his words wouldn’t carry to the other passengers. “So why did you put those conditions on our marriage? If we really lived as man and wife, we could be blessed with those children you wanted.”

  Ruthy turned to him, her eyes dark. “I didn’t want to take Salome’s place. I know you still love her, and I didn’t want you to feel obligated... I know I’m not the woman you would choose to be your wife.”

  “Why not?” Levi’s voice rose with his question and the man across the aisle glanced at them. He leaned close to Ruthy’s ear, his cheek brushing her kapp. “Why wouldn’t I choose you?”

  Ruthy blushed. “I know I’m not attractive. You married me because I was available, and your children needed someone. I know you still love Salome, and I don’t blame you. She must have been a wonderful wife and mother.”