Arizona Cowboy

by Jennifer Collins Johnson

  Chapter 3

  Two days had passed since Ava called Holden to cancel their dinner date.

  “You’re not sick, Ava. You’re avoiding me.” His voice still rang through her head. “I’m sorry about what happened. I take all the blame.”

  He could say the words, but he couldn’t take all the blame. She was every bit as much at fault. She’d been overcome with love and promises and kisses and...she’d made the choice. He hadn’t forced anything.

  “I think you’ve met all the regulars.” Mary’s voice snapped Ava from her thoughts.

  “Everyone’s been very welcoming,” Ava replied.

  Her boss slipped a pen beneath the clip of the clipboard. “Not only are you a terrific therapist, but you’re Irene Hall’s niece.”

  “I didn’t know my aunt knew so many people. I mean, she’s active at church, and First Church has a large congregation, but...”

  Mary shook her head. “Your aunt is the queen of Senior Idol. You’ve never seen her perform?”

  Ava shook her head.

  “That’s right. Senior Idol started after you went to college.” Mary touched Ava’s forearm. “Honey, your aunt has been the crowd favorite. All five years. She never wins, mind you.”

  Ava frowned. “Why not?”

  “Once you win, you can’t perform anymore. The seniors’ group that puts on the show wants to give everyone a chance.”

  “I see.” She wrinkled her nose. “Sorta.”

  Mary chuckled. “The city loves her. Have you at least heard her sing?”

  “Of course, but—”

  “You don’t think she’s good?”

  “Well, yes, she’s wonderful. I just didn’t know the event was so popular.”

  “We even get volunteers to bus every able resident from the nursing homes to the high school to watch. We have a blast.” She nodded. “You should consider helping out.”

  “I think I will.”

  After finishing her charts, Ava said goodbye and drove home. Aunt Irene had left a note on the table saying she’d gone to pick up Mexican, so Ava slipped out of her clothes and into the shower. Her mind wandered to Holden, and whether he’d asked Jessica Thomas out on another date. So far Ava enjoyed everything about Surprise, except she couldn’t stop thinking about him.

  Turning off the shower, she dried her face and stared into the mirror. At some point, I’ve got to tell him the truth.

  She ran a brush through her wet hair, still staring at her reflection. Maybe I don’t have to tell him. It won’t do any good. I know Holden. It will only hurt him.

  I know Holden. She’d known him only for a summer. Three months after graduating high school. Emotions were high, spiraling out of control. People just didn’t find their one true love at eighteen. The idea was preposterous. And she’d been headed to college.

  Now, Will Reynolds, her boyfriend during her junior year of college, he’d been a guy she could have fallen in love with. Twenty-one wasn’t too young. He’d been kind, considerate, a Christian and a pharmaceutical major. They’d been compatible in all the right ways, and he seemed to like her a lot.

  But she hadn’t lain awake at night thinking about him. Hadn’t imagined what their children would look like, or what it would be like to wake up each morning with him beside her, as she had imagined with Holden.

  She slammed the brush onto the sink. “Just stop it.”

  “You okay in there?” Her aunt’s voice sounded from the kitchen.

  Ava snarled at the mirror. “I’m okay, Aunt Irene.”

  “I thought I heard something.”

  “I’m fine. Just getting dressed.”

  “Okay. Well, hurry up. Mitch and I are ready to eat.”

  Ava slipped on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. Great, an evening filled with hardware store drama. She released a breath and closed her eyes. Her thoughts weren’t fair. It wasn’t Mitch’s fault that she couldn’t stop thinking about Holden. Besides, her cousin enjoyed having dinner with her and his mom, and he always helped them with anything that needed to be done around the house.

  She walked into the dining area and sat down across from Mitch. They joined hands, and he prayed over their food. When she lifted her head, Mitch reached into his front pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “Holden stopped by the shop today to pick up some supplies. Told me to give you this.”

  Ava opened the note and read, “Stop avoiding me.” He’d printed his number below.

  Mitch scooped a spoonful of rice onto his plate. “I don’t know why the guy doesn’t just move on. Half the eligible women in Surprise are after him.”

  “Now, Mitch,” Aunt Irene chided.

  “It’s true,” he continued. “Just in the few minutes Holden was in the store there was a woman ogling him like a dog would a bone.”

  Ava crunched the note. She took back her kind thoughts. Mitch needed to get out of her business and find himself a wife.

  * * *

  Holden folded the top piece of the cardboard box to create the windshield for the boxcar. He cut out the rectangle while four of the boys from his church group scurried around collecting paper plates for wheels, plastic cups for headlights, and paint, brushes and glue. Once he’d finished cutting, he taped the windshield in place. Pointing to the directions, he looked at the oldest boy in the group. “Sean, you understand how to finish?”

  “We know how to do it,” piped up six-year-old Zack. “My uncle and I have done it before.”

  “Bet mine and my dad’s would be better,” retorted his friend John.

  “Nuh-uh.” Zack shook his head, making his fiery-red curls bounce.

  “Now that’s enough, you two.” Holden stared at both of them, the whole time praying he wouldn’t burst into laughter.

  “We know how to finish,” Sean assured him.

  “We’re ready for you to cut out the windshield, Holden,” Vince called from the other side of the room.

  “Us, too,” said Ben.

  “Why don’t I help this group, and you help the other?”

  Holden turned at the sound of his best friend’s voice. “Thanks, Jake.”

  Jake dipped his chin. “No problem. I’ve missed these guys the last few weeks.”

  “I’d say they’ve missed you as well, right, guys?”

  “Yep.” Eight-year-old Vince wrapped his arms around Jake’s waist.

  Holden had a soft spot for Vince. His dad had left before he was born, so it was just Vince and his mom. She was young and nice, tried with everything in her to provide all her son needed. She did a good job, and there were times when Holden wondered if God wanted him to step in, maybe ask Megan out. The little guy needed a dad, and Holden really liked him. A lot.

  Once he and Jake had finished making windshields with box cutters, he stood beside his friend and watched as the boys created their team cars.

  “Sorry I’ve been avoiding ya,” said Jake.

  “It’s all right.”

  “No, it ain’t,” Jake retorted. “Jess got her head all wrapped around the idea of you and her together. She like to drove us all nuts. You know how she is when she wants something.”

  Oh, Holden knew. He had many memories of playing at Jake’s house as kids. Anytime his little sister wanted to play, or wanted their toys, she’d pitch a fit until the whole family decided she could have whatever it was she wanted. Most stubborn little thing he’d ever known. Which was why he’d never wanted to go out with her in the first place.

  “I think she’s decided to shift her sights onto Nate Yocum.”

  Poor guy. Nate was a great man, but he wouldn’t have the backbone to turn Jess away if she truly decided she wanted him. If Jake wouldn’t punch him in the gut, Holden would bet his friend that the two would be married in a year.

&n
bsp; “She said she saw you at the electronics store. And that Ava was there. Is that right?”

  Holden nodded. Zack and John started to fight over a paintbrush. Holden snapped his fingers, and Sean handed John a different brush.

  “I heard she’s working with the Millers.”

  Holden nodded once more. “She is.”

  “You two talking again?”

  He wished. Today he’d sent a note with Mitch, asking her to give him a call. For months the guilt over what they’d done, and the fact that she wouldn’t speak to him, had sickened him. He’d asked God’s forgiveness, even fessed up with the truth to his dad. Holden had never meant to hurt her.

  No one else knew. Not even Jake. Only Holden’s father, and he’d shown Holden in scripture how God had already forgiven him. But he’d wanted to tell Ava, to assure her of his love, to set a date for them to become husband and wife.

  But she’d run, and refused to talk to him or see him again.

  If only he could undo that night, that moment of weakness. Ugh. Seeing her, knowing she was so close, brought back the battle that had waged within him. He never wanted to forget that night, and yet he wished he could take it back.

  Holden looked at Jake and shook his head. “Not really.”

  “But you’d like to?”

  He shrugged. What good would lying do?

  “I guess it’s true you never get over your first love,” Jake said.

  Holden chuckled. “So, you still got a thing for Becca Fields from ninth grade? I think her husband and two kids might have something to say about that.”

  Jake huffed. “I fell in love long before ninth grade.”

  Holden bit the inside of his lip, trying to remember all the girls Jake had swooned over. For such an overgrown country guy, he’d fallen in love with one girl after another during their school years. Holden snapped his fingers. “Annie Jake. Sixth grade. You loved her last name.”

  Jake chortled as he pounded his chest with his fist. “My true love goes further back than middle school.”

  Holden crossed his arms. “You’ve got to be messing with me.”

  Jake shrugged.

  The door opened and Megan stepped inside. She still wore her uniform, and Holden knew she’d put in a long day at the nursing home. Jake’s expression fell and he stood up straighter. “How’s it going, Megan?”

  “Great.” She tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear. Vince rushed to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She kissed the top of his head. “Thanks so much. Vince loves this class.”

  Jake stepped toward them and patted Vince on the shoulder. “He’s a great kid.” He tousled the boy’s hair. “Be good for your mom now.”

  “I will.” Vince offered Jake another hug, and Holden noted the flush that spread up his best friend’s neck and onto his cheeks.

  Once Megan and Vince left, Holden nudged Jake’s arm. “I think I remember. It was kindergarten.”

  He pursed his lips.

  Holden continued, “And her name was Megan Fallows.”

  Jake pressed his index finger against his mouth. “Hush, man. The boys will hear you.”

  Holden laughed. “You need to ask her out.”

  Jake shrugged again.

  “Seriously. You’d be great together.”

  “You think so?”

  “I do.” Holden punched his arm.

  Jake rubbed the spot. “What was that for?”

  “We sound like a pair of women.”

  His friend laughed. “I think you’re right.”

  They leaned against the wall and crossed their arms while the boys continued to work on their cars. Holden glanced at Jake. “So, you gonna ask her?”

  Jake smacked his hands against his legs. “Fine. I’ll ask her.”

  Chapter 4

  Tucked securely under her cowboy’s arm, Ava drank in the ever-shrinking yellow sphere as it made its way behind the White Tank Mountains. A pinkish-orange ring circled the sun and faded into a violet-blue August sky. Creosote bushes as well as saguaro and barrel cacti dotted the dry ground. A curve-billed thrasher flew from the top of one of the saguaro toward the sunset, probably to his home, so he could bed down for the night. The thought sent a shiver of fear and excitement down and back up Ava’s spine. Holden exhaled a contented breath, and she gazed up into the eyes of the man she loved. He gently cupped her chin with his hand. “I know it sounds corny, Ava—” Holden traced her jaw with his thumb “—but I never want to see another sunset without you.”

  Ava opened her eyes and gazed at the pale blue ceiling. She’d dreamed about Holden. Again. She rolled to her side and curled her legs around a pillow. Eight years had passed since the young cowboy had made that statement. Eight years of her attending and graduating from college then physical therapy school, working with rehabilitation patients, reestablishing a relationship with God, and... Ava didn’t want to think of the and. The memory gouged and ripped at her heart, leaving her wounded and scarred in ways she’d never imagined possible. She closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath. How could a heart feel such pain and yet still beat?

  She shifted her head to see the alarm clock. Just past seven, but Ava knew she wouldn’t sleep another moment. So much for sleeping in on my day off. Slipping out from under the covers, she got dressed, then grabbed a granola bar and a few bottles of water. She scratched out a note for Aunt Irene, then headed toward the mountains.

  Walking her favorite dirt-and-rock-covered trail, Ava sucked in a deep breath. She still loved this place. Arizona had been blessed with a rainy winter, and now in March, the regional park was especially beautiful. Cacti reached stoically toward the cloud-dotted blue sky, while yellow brittlebush, red coachwhip, blue dicks, and desert lavender dotted the ground. She plucked a brittlebush flower, examining its bright petals.

  She plucked a petal. “He loved me.” She plucked another. “He loved me not.” She continued until the final petal, which she caressed with her finger. Pulling it free, she whispered, “He loved me.”

  Twirling the stem, she allowed her gaze to wander across the majesty of the mountains. She looked up at the clouds. “God, I believe he did love me.”

  With a sigh, she tossed the stem to the ground. In a matter of weeks, the temperatures would rise and the rains would cease, and much of the colorful foliage would die. “They can only last a season,” Ava muttered to herself.

  But they return when the time is right.

  A slow smile curled her lips at the thought. She’d left her beloved Holden Whitaker, as well as Surprise, Arizona, eight years ago. She’d believed she’d be gone forever, that in time the memories would dissipate. But she was back. Given how much she enjoyed her new position at Miller Physical Therapy Clinic, she might be here for good. And Holden wanted to get back together. She saw the forgiveness in his eyes.

  She glanced at the fallen petals and stem beside her feet. Summer would return to Surprise, but this flower wouldn’t. It had been plucked from its base and would never bloom again. She swallowed back the truth of the analogy that had drifted into her mind. Returning to Surprise to live didn’t mean she could have Holden’s heart again. One day soon she would tell him the truth.

  And she knew he’d never forgive her.

  * * *

  Holden guided the ten boys from his church group along the trail. Once a month he took any who could attend on some kind of field trip. March proved to be a great time to take them to the White Tans Mountains to hike, eat a picnic lunch and play games.

  “You don’t think we’ll see any snakes, do you, Holden?” asked six-year-old John.

  Holden glanced down and saw the boy’s eyes were nearly as large as the soccer balls they’d brought with them.

  “Duh, we’ll see snakes,” Zack chided. “We’re outside. In the mountain
s.”

  John reached over and grabbed Holden’s fingers. “We will?”

  Holden squeezed the boy’s hand. “We might, but we’ll be careful. No snake’s going to ruin our fun.”

  “Phew.” Zack jumped up and down with his fists raised, his red curls bouncing around his face. “If a snake comes up to us, I’ll punch it right in the nose.”

  Holden patted his shoulder. “All right, Muhammed Ali. Let’s keep walking.”

  Zack pulled away. “My name ain’t Mountain Owie. I’m Zack.”

  Jake walked up beside him and flicked one of the boy’s curls. “You’re right about that, little buddy.”

  Holden noticed a woman a ways down the trail, sitting on the edge of a large rock. Poor lady. Her quiet morning was about to be invaded by ten active boys and two men. She must have heard them because she turned around, and Holden’s heartbeat raced. Ava.

  Jake nudged his arm. “I’ll take the boys on ahead. You be a man and stop and talk to her.”

  Holden grinned at his friend. “You talk to Megan yet, Mr. Macho Man?”

  Jake spread his arms. “You see Megan around here?”

  Holden pointed at him. “Your day is coming, my friend.”

  “Yeah, but your day is here.” Jake chortled as he turned his attention to Ava, then extended his hand once they’d gotten close enough. “Hello, Ava. Remember me?”

  She stood and took his hand. “Hello, Jake.”

  Zack cocked his head and squinted up at her. “Who’s the lady?”

  “She’s Holden’s friend, Ava.” Jake snapped his fingers. “Come on, guys. Let’s keep walking while he talks to her for a minute.”

  “Is she his girlfriend?” asked Vince.

  Zack shook his hips, then made kissing noises. “She’s his girlfriend.”

  Holden nudged the boy forward. The little redhead seemed determined to drive him crazy at every angle possible. “You need to stay with Jake.”

  He waited until the boys were several yards away before he turned to Ava. She looked great with her hair pulled back in a short ponytail and her face free of makeup. Like the girl he’d fallen in love with.