The words were a lie. It hurt like hell not to be involved with the business he’d been groomed to handle from the time he’d shown an aptitude for numbers. But he refused to hang around a venture he had no right to be a part of any longer. He wouldn’t watch any feelings they might still have turn to annoyance and dislike. He couldn’t stay where he wasn’t wanted. He loved them all too much for that.
Nick shook his head in disgust. “I can’t believe we grew up together and I have to explain this to you. I love you. Joe, Alex and Rosie love you. Your niece and nephew love you. You promised that when they were old enough you would show them how to use those calculators you bought.”
“They’ve got their father and mother and two uncles. It doesn’t take a mental giant,” Luke ground out. That was a low blow, bringing the kids he would miss like crazy into this. “You’re not making this easy, Nick.”
“Good. I hope I’m making it damn hard. Mom and Dad are devastated about this,” he said waving the letter.
“You don’t need me.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Nick said tightly. “We all need you, professionally and personally. You owe them.”
Luke nodded. “For a roof over my head, food on the table, clothes on my back and the best possible education.” He let out a long breath. “And they kept me from knowing who I am. What do you think that’s worth?”
“Your thanks. Think about how much strength it took. They passed that on to you, Bro. This kind of news would have broken a weaker man. Thanks to Mom and Dad, you’re still on your feet.” He held up the letter again. “This is your only slipup.”
Luke ignored him. There was something else he needed to know. “How do you feel about Mom—knowing what she did?”
“I love her,” Nick said simply. He raked a hand through his hair. “I know it’s complicated. I try not to judge anyone unless I’ve walked in their shoes. I don’t know what it’s like to have three little kids and feel completely alone raising them. I’m not condoning her actions. But she’s not a bad person. I’m trying to understand why it happened. I might have a better clue after Abby and I have our own baby. Bottom line—that’s between her and Dad, and they dealt with it a long time ago.”
Suddenly he took the letter in both hands and ripped it in two. Then he took the halves and tore them again and again until they were confetti-size.
“What did you do that for?” Luke asked.
“A gesture. Your resignation is denied, declined or whatever you want to call it.”
“You have to accept it.”
“No, I don’t. We need you. And you need the job, especially now.” For the first time since arriving, Nick smiled. “When were you two planning to break the news?”
“Two? Who? What are you talking about?”
“You and Maddie. The whole family knows you spent the night together after Alex and Fran got married. When were you going to tell us about the baby?”
Luke felt sucker-punched. “The baby?”
Oh, God. Was this what was up with Maddie?
“Yeah. Abby was in the obstetrician’s waiting room for her monthly checkup and she saw Maddie there making an appointment for prenatal bloodwork. There was a reception area between them and the nurse had just called her back so she didn’t get a chance to extend congratulations. So I’m doing it for both of us now. Congratulations, Luke,” he said, holding out his hand.
Absently Luke took it. Maddie was going to have a baby? And she hadn’t told him? Was there an epidemic of withholding information? Was there anyone he knew capable of telling him the truth? He damn well intended to find out.
Just a short time after leaving Luke, Madison walked out of her bathroom and leaned heavily against the wall as she heard her doorbell. “Great. A visitor.”
She’d just tossed her lasagne and managed to brush her teeth. Her stomach felt better, but she’d never been more exhausted in her life. She pushed damp curls off her forehead and took a deep breath. It wasn’t late, but she also wasn’t expecting anyone. If she ignored whoever was there, maybe they would go away.
Her caller gave several long blasts on the bell. “There’s nothing worse than a persistent pest,” she muttered, moving to respond.
Her stomach quivered when she peeked out the narrow window beside the door to see who was there. She opened up instantly. “Luke! What’s wrong?”
She wondered vaguely how she’d known so quickly that something was wrong. She certainly wasn’t psychic, but she could deductive reason to beat the band. She’d only left him a short while ago with his brother and it was a good bet they’d had a confrontation. That and the thundercloud on his face spelled c-r-i-s-i-s.
“Why didn’t you tell me you’re pregnant?” he ground out. “Or maybe the appropriate question is—did you plan to ever tell me you’re going to have my baby?”
Madison swayed unsteadily and grabbed on to the door for balance. “I…I don’t know what to say. How did you find out?”
“You and Abby share a doctor. You didn’t see her there?” he asked angrily.
Madison thought back and shook her head. “No.”
The doctor’s office was set up so that patients could leave the exam room, go down a corridor to the appointment desk and exit the office without having to go back through the waiting area. But there were opaque sliding doors on either side, and she guessed that Abby had seen her through there without Madison ever knowing. It wasn’t a coincidence that she and Luke’s sister-in-law had chosen the same one. The doctor was one of the best and came highly recommended. In fact, her practice was so busy Madison had at first been referred to someone else. She’d been accepted by promising to handle some legal issues for Dr. Virginia Olsen’s pet project, a women’s shelter.
“Come in, Luke. This isn’t something I want to discuss on the porch.” He walked in and she shut the door. “Can I get you a drink?”
“Yeah.”
He followed her to the kitchen and rested his arms on the bar separating the refrigerator, stove and food-preparation area from the breakfast nook. Part of her was glad he kept his distance. The other part wished he would take her in his arms and hold her close to his solid body. She wanted him to tell her everything was going to be okay, even if it wasn’t. But she’d never had anyone to lean on before. There was no reason to believe that would change now. More important, she couldn’t afford to let him in, even for a little while. It would be too hard when he turned his back.
“Man, the lights just keep going off in my head,” he said. “You’re pregnant. That’s why you were so adamant about no wine earlier.”
She nodded as she pulled her step stool in front of the refrigerator. “And why I haven’t had much of an appetite lately. And food doesn’t always stay down.” She climbed on the second step.
“What do you think you’re doing?” he demanded.
“I’m getting you a drink,” she explained. “I keep the scotch in the cupboard up there.”
“I think not.” He came around the bar and put his hands at her waist, easily lifting her off.
In spite of his high-handedness and the fact that he was angrier than she’d ever seen him, the gesture of protectiveness put a glow in her heart. Not to mention the heat that shot through her at the contact. Why couldn’t she ignore him? Why did just a touch, or a look, or the barest hint of a smile from Luke Marchetti make her warm and weak and willing? Why did her heart beat faster when he held her just a little too long, a little too close?
Luke was a dead end. Even if she was relationship material, which she wasn’t, his track record for settling down was nonexistent. To continue to experience any sensation in his presence, one would have to be a fool, a dreamer or both. Madison had strived from her earliest memory not to be either. She’d learned not to hope for what she wanted. The more she hoped, the harder and more painful the fall when she found out she wasn’t enough to get it.
She shivered as he removed his hands from her waist. He then reached up to open the
cupboard and lift down the bottle. It was a simple task, yet so masculine. And she wanted to sigh like a teenager with a heart-wrenching crush. She was putty in his hands. Or she would be if he touched her again. She’d proved that earlier when he’d kissed her. And how foolish had it been to tell him she wasn’t sorry about it?
Backing up several steps, she watched him retrieve a tumbler and pour two fingers of the brown liquid into it. After capping the bottle, he tossed back the entire contents of the glass in two swallows. Then he sucked in a breath before grimacing slightly at the taste.
“Now where were we?” he asked. Before she could answer he said, “You were going to tell me about taking a page from the Flo and Tom Marchetti book of parenting and explain why you neglected to inform me that you’re pregnant with my baby.”
She shook her head, amazed at how he could be so sweet and tender one minute and go on the attack the next. He wasn’t going to get away with it. She sympathized with what he was going through, and he had a point about her not telling him the news right away. But that didn’t give him the right to be sarcastic and abrasive. The least he could do was listen.
“I don’t especially like your attitude. And in case there’s any doubt in your mind, listen up. You’ve used up your quota of sympathy from me. The martyr-victim syndrome will only carry you so far.”
“Victim?” he asked, his voice deceptively calm compared to the fire in his eyes. “You’ll be entitled to toss slings and arrows when you walk a mile in my loafers.”
“Right back at you.”
“Huh?”
“On more than one occasion you’ve told me that I don’t know what you’re going through. That no one understands. What was it you said earlier? Oh, yes. Do as I say not as I do.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You have no idea how I feel or what I’m going through. When you’ve got pregnancy hormones bebop-ping through your system then we can talk about the right way to handle doling out this kind of information. Until then, don’t take that tone with me.” She glared at him, her chest heaving. “And if you’ll recall, just before your brother showed up tonight, I told you I had to talk to you about something. I was going to tell you then.”
He nodded. “What about all the other opportunities you had? You’ve obviously known for a while that you’re pregnant.”
“I suspected right around the time I had to tell you your father wasn’t who you’d always thought. I just couldn’t say, ‘You know your natural father? Well he isn’t. And the guy who is, has passed away. Oh, and if all of that isn’t bad enough, I’m carrying your baby.”’
“Not good enough, Maddie.”
Sometimes persistence was a positive character trait. Right now it just made her want to shake some sense into him. She studied his tall, muscular form and almost laughed at the idea of someone as small as she was shaking sense into a man practically twice her size.
“I did what I thought was best. Which, I might add, is what your parents did. I saw how the trauma rocked you and I just couldn’t bear to burden you further. I wanted to give you some time to deal with that before I dropped this news on you, too.”
He shook his head. “I should have known. When we were first together, you didn’t think it was important to let me know you’d never been with a man.”
“What’s that got to do with anything?”
“I should have known you were the type to hold back important information.”
“There’s holding back with intent to never divulge the information. Then there’s picking and choosing an appropriate sensitive time to share the news.”
“Semantics, just what I’d expect from you, Counselor.”
She pulled air into her lungs as she brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Aside from the fact that I think you’re being a stubborn, insensitive, obtuse, intractable jackass, there’s one other thing that stopped me.”
“And that would be?”
“You said in no uncertain terms that you didn’t want children.”
He froze and stared at her, shaking his head slightly. “I never said that.”
“That’s not something I’m likely to get wrong or make up, considering I’d just found out I was pregnant.”
“When did I allegedly say that?” he demanded, moving toward her.
“The day you and Flo came to my office, when I gave you your father’s letter. Just before your mother arrived, you were sitting in judgment of her, kind of like you are with me right now. I suggested that you might understand better if you had children of your own. You said, quite vehemently I might add, that you never wanted kids. I sure got a warm fuzzy from that.”
He let out a long breath. “How would you feel in my position? How would you feel if the people you loved and trusted kept things from you? Really important things like who your father is?”
“If they cared about me, I would thank them. If I loved and trusted them, too, I would give them the benefit of the doubt. Trust that they believed they were doing the right thing.”
“You don’t know—”
“You’re right,” she said. “I don’t know. But it’s so easy to second-guess them now. I can tell you from personal experience that doing the wrong thing out of love is a darn sight better than being ignored.”
“Look, Maddie—”
“No, Luke. You look. I can’t walk in your shoes, but I’m entitled to an opinion about it based on my own experiences. Did Flo and Tom send you away to boarding school while your siblings stayed at home and went to local private schools?”
“Of course not.”
“Were they conveniently out of the country when you graduated from high school, college and law school with honors?”
“I didn’t go to law school,” he said dryly.
“You know what I mean,” she said huffily. “Did they show up for commencement at the schools you did go to?”
“Yes.” He looked at her. “Calm down, Maddie. This can’t be good for the baby.”
“Don’t patronize me. Just answer the question.”
“Do you want me to state my name and swear on a Bible?”
She couldn’t help a small smile as she said, “The witness will please answer the question.”
“Just like my mother said, they were there from T-ball to cap and gown and everything in between. They demanded excellence and were there for the payoff.”
“You’re lucky. My family didn’t demand anything. I wasn’t enough, could never do enough or be enough to get their attention.” She let out a long breath. Suddenly she was almost too tired to stand. She slumped against the counter and rubbed a hand across her face. “Since nothing I say is good enough, this probably won’t be, either. But here it is. I never lied to you, Luke.”
“Not in so many words.”
She sighed. “I planned to tell you about the baby. It should have been sooner, and I’m sorry you found out the way you did. But I was waiting until you had enough time to digest the news about your father. I was concerned that another bombshell would push you over the edge.”
“You were worried about me? Afraid I might drive too fast?” He didn’t quite smile.
“Silly me,” she said, not actually confirming his question. And not denying it, either, since it was true.
“I’m tough, Maddie. I can take it.”
“I’ll remember that.” She let out a long breath. “Now, I need to see you out. I’m really tired. I need to lie down before I fall down.”
In a single stride he was beside her. Without a word he lifted her into his strong arms and started down the hall.
“What are you doing?” she asked, too weary to infuse her voice with the outrage she knew should be there.
She was just too darn grateful that she didn’t have to walk. Too happy he was holding her. Too profoundly glad that he’d actually listened and really heard her. The people who should have cared about her never did. Did Luke care about her? Hardly. How could he? He thought she was a liar.
Did she care about him? That was a no-brainer. The question: How much did she care and how could she stop?
She wished she could go back to the casual friendship they’d shared before sleeping together. Somehow that intimacy had cracked the wall around her heart. Every time she saw him the crack grew wider until she feared he would take possession of her soul. She couldn’t let that happen. It would be too desolate if she knew he couldn’t return her feelings.
“Your stomach is growling,” he said, a smile in his voice.
“Don’t tell Alex and Fran, but their designer frozen entrée didn’t stay down.”
“I think they would understand,” he said. “But it will be our secret.”
He placed her very gently on her bed. With his hands on either side of her, neatly pinning her, he met her gaze with the same intensity that always stole the breath from her lungs. “I need to feed you—again,” he said.
When he straightened, she made a great show of settling herself in a half-reclining position with pillows at her back. She needed to do something to keep him from noticing how profoundly his nearness affected her. After all, they had returned to the scene of the crime.
“I don’t feel much like eating,” she answered.
“There’s a rumor that pregnant women have cravings. Is there something that sounds good?”
“The doctor said I need to have a lot of protein.”
“How about a steak?”
She shuddered at the suggestion. After a moment’s thought she said, “It’s really high in fat, but peanut butter and jelly sounds like heaven.”
“I’ll make you a sandwich.”
“That’s sweet of you, but I don’t have any.”
He looked her over from head to toe and the intensity in his gaze made her skin tingle. “I’m no doctor, but in my opinion you could use a little fat. I’ll go to the market.” He started for the doorway and half turned. “Smooth or crunchy?”
“What?”
“Peanut butter. Do you like smooth or the kind that’s mostly peanuts with token smooth thrown in?”
“I’m a superchunk kind of girl.”
The Last Marchetti Bachelor Page 8
