Fallout

by Ariel Tachna

  “Well, congratulations either way,” Sambit said. “I look forward to working with Brad and hopefully with getting to know you both better.” He took a deep breath and plowed on. “It will be nice not to be the only faculty member with a same-sex partner.”

  “Oh, that would be nice!” Paul said. “Is your partner here?”

  “Not today,” Sambit said. “He works at NASA, and the storm has his schedule all messed up. I’m hoping he’ll be at some of the orientation events with me, though. We’ll have to see.” He’d have to see if he’d convinced Derek to forgive him for being an idiot and take another chance on him between now and then, but even if he couldn’t, Brad would know he wasn’t alone on the faculty, and maybe Sambit would have two new friends.

  He spent the rest of the picnic plotting ways to convince Derek to take him back, but everything he came up with seemed either extravagant or ludicrous. He wasn’t any closer to a plan when he left than when he’d started except for one thing.

  As soon as he was in his car, he pulled out his cell phone and texted Derek. Send me your address, please. I have to see you. I can be there in two hours.

  Derek’s text came back with gratifying quickness, giving the Pearland address. Sambit programmed it into his GPS and texted back the estimated time of arrival.

  The drive through Houston seemed to take forever, even though he arrived at Derek’s house a few minutes before the estimated time he’d given. He found the house easily, one of the few on the block with light streaming through the windows in welcome. Even in the fading light of the day, Sambit could see the destruction wrought by the storm and the first signs of recovery in the light shining through various windows. Sambit parked and locked his car, stumbling over the usually routine details in his nervousness, but delaying wouldn’t gain him anything. He knocked on the front door and waited.

  Fido’s barking greeted him before Derek got there, making Sambit smile. He was glad Derek had managed to keep the dog. It was a small thing to worry about compared to all the problems of rebuilding a city and a relationship, but it was an easy one to focus on. Then the door opened and Derek stood before him, backlit by the light in the foyer. “I’m sorry it took me so long to call. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure out what I wanted. I’m sorry it took me this long to realize I’m ready for the hard work.”

  The words babbled out of him, completely unscripted, unordered, nothing like his usual controlled speech, but Derek didn’t seem to mind. He grabbed Sambit’s hand, pulling him inside and into a kiss that stole what little coherency remained after his garbled speech. Sambit held tight and returned the kiss with all the desperation of six weeks of separation and three weeks of silence.

  “You’re here,” Derek murmured, lifting his head finally. “You’re actually here. I wanted to believe you would be, but….”

  “But it took me a long time to get my head on straight,” Sambit finished. “I’m sorry. Will you let me make it up to you?”

  “I’m sure I can think of something,” Derek replied with that mischievous grin that went straight to Sambit’s groin.

  Sambit slid a hand between them, feeling bolder than he ever had, and stroked Derek’s burgeoning erection. “I’m sure you can,” he agreed. “Hands, mouth, you name it.”

  “Ass?” Derek asked.

  “If you want it,” Sambit said, swallowing hard at the thought. “I meant what I said.”

  “Maybe we’ll work up to that,” Derek said. “I wouldn’t have the patience tonight anyway. It’s all I can do not to jump you right now.”

  “I’m not stopping you,” Sambit said, stroking Derek again, “but I owe you an explanation too.”

  “Later,” Derek said, tugging Sambit deeper into the house. “After we get naked.”

  That sounded like a fine idea to Sambit. He followed along behind Derek eagerly, with Fido at their heels. “Go to your room,” Derek told the dog. To Sambit’s surprise, the dog listened, padding off in the opposite direction. Derek led Sambit through the living room to a narrow hallway that led into a large master suite decorated in rich browns and greens, a beautifully masculine room for a beautiful, masculine man. If he hadn’t been so ridiculously grateful to be there, he might have teased Derek about the matching comforter, pillows, and window treatments, but he was too happy with his current situation to do anything that might change Derek’s mind.

  Another time Sambit would linger with the preliminaries, undressing Derek carefully, lingering over each patch of skin that was revealed, but he didn’t have the patience for that tonight, and neither did Derek, if the speed with which his clothes went flying across the room was any indication. Sambit followed suit, stripping down to his boxers as quickly as he could. When he looked up to see Derek sliding his own shorts over his gorgeous backside, Sambit figured that was an invitation and dropped his as well. “I want to lick you all over.”

  Derek’s eyebrows lifted in surprise, but Sambit was too turned on to care if his words were uncharacteristically bold. His mouth watered at the thought of all that skin just waiting to be explored and Derek’s cock at the end of it, the perfect treat to end his day. “Just don’t pin me down, okay?”

  The vulnerability in Derek’s comment brought Sambit up short. Yes, he wanted Derek like crazy, could practically taste the fluid seeping from the tip of his erection already, but he didn’t want to make Derek uncomfortable. “We can do something else. I don’t want you to have to fight bad memories the whole time I’m trying to make love to you.”

  “It’s not like that,” Derek said. “Most of the time I don’t even think about it. I just take charge, and it doesn’t matter.”

  “Let’s do it this way,” Sambit suggested, climbing on Derek’s bed and urging Derek to straddle him. He scooted down until his shoulders were between Derek’s legs. “There. Now you’re on top, you’re in control, and I get what I want too.”

  “I have an even better idea,” Derek said, flipping around so he faced Sambit’s feet. “Now we can both get what we want.”

  Sambit was sure this was a bad idea. He’d never be able to give Derek the attention he deserved if Derek was sucking him at the same time, but refusing wasn’t an option either, not when Derek was already blowing cool air over Sambit’s heated skin. Resolving to employ all the control yoga had taught him, he focused on returning the pleasure Derek had lavished on him before, starting with the heavy sac hanging in his face.

  At the unusual angle, it probably wasn’t the smoothest blow job Sambit had ever given, but as Derek started moving, his cock sliding in and out of Sambit’s mouth and then down into his throat, his own mouth moving over Sambit’s length with the same desperate rhythm, Sambit decided it was his favorite and that he had a new favorite position. He clung to Derek’s hips, not to guide him but simply to add one more layer of connection, the skin smooth beneath his palms. Then Derek moved his head, his lips leaving Sambit’s cock to move lower, over Sambit’s balls. One long finger pressed against Sambit’s entrance. His whole body clenched, half in anticipation, half in rejection. He hadn’t been touched that way in so long. Derek backed off after that, his hands still holding Sambit’s cheeks, spreading them the tiniest bit but not moving into the crease. Sambit trembled, every muscle in his body pulled taut with sensual tension. He tried to focus on his breathing, to control his body’s reactions as yoga had taught him to do, so he could draw out their encounter that much longer, but the flavor of Derek’s cock on his tongue, the occasional waft of breath over his entrance, and the immense sensation of being beneath and surrounded by Derek were too much for his willpower. He bent his knees and lifted his hips, offering his body to Derek in any way the other man wanted, increasing the suction of his lips at the same time. He might not be able to slow down his reactions, but he could do his best to take Derek with him when he climaxed.

  Derek’s hips moved jerkily beneath Sambit’s hands, signaling his impending release. Sambit relaxed his throat and let Derek move as he needed to. He cl
osed his eyes to better appreciate the sensation of Derek’s mouth on him, but that deprived him of the sight of Derek’s ass bouncing in front of him.

  He could feel his release building, pent-up need that all the masturbation in the world couldn’t satisfy, need for the man above him, pushing to get free. Sambit squeezed Derek’s hand in warning, the position of their bodies such that he couldn’t get his mouth free. Derek seemed to understand, squeezing Sambit’s hand in return and moving his head to lick Sambit’s balls while continuing the erotic stimulation with his hand.

  Sambit cried out around his mouthful as his orgasm exploded out of him, covering his belly and Derek’s hand. Seconds later, Derek started to pull away, but Sambit grabbed his hips, holding him in place. Sambit understood why Derek had moved his head, but Sambit didn’t have the same hesitations. He wanted Derek to come in his mouth. He wanted that flavor on his tongue.

  He got his wish.

  When they could both breathe again, Derek turned back around so he lay next to Sambit on the bed, his hand stroking up and down Sambit’s arm leisurely. “So you changed your mind, huh?”

  “Not so much changed it as realized what was there all along,” Sambit said. “I was at the end of summer picnic for the faculty, missing you anyway, and then suddenly my boss introduced me to the new bio prof and his husband.”

  “His husband?” Derek repeated.

  “Brad and Paul Smith-Wallace,” Sambit confirmed. “They’re from Maine. They were there at the picnic together, and the world didn’t end.”

  “And you were afraid it would?” Sambit could hear Derek’s amusement in his voice.

  “I grew up in an environment where in any kind of public or professional setting, you were expected to be uniformly asexual,” Sambit struggled to explain. “Not that people didn’t bring their spouses to work-related social events, but it was different. I don’t really know how to put it in words except to say that it was very hard for me to conceive of showing up at an event like that with you at my side.”

  “And yet you’re here,” Derek said, “so how is this going to work?”

  “We talked for a few minutes, and I told them I was glad not to be the only professor with a same-sex partner. I don’t know what will happen. I don’t know that I’ll ever be comfortable with the kind of activism you believe in, but I’m done hiding.”

  Derek waited so long to answer that Sambit was afraid he’d somehow scared Derek off with his declaration. When he turned to look, Derek’s eyes shimmered with emotion. Sambit rolled to his side, stroking Derek’s hair back from his temples and kissing him tenderly. “Will you give me a second chance?”

  “You’re still on your first chance,” Derek said, his voice rough with emotion. “I hadn’t quite gotten to the point of giving up yet.”

  “Don’t,” Sambit said. “Don’t ever give up on me, okay? I know we have things to work out, like the fact that we live two hours apart, but we were making it work when I was still at the power plant until I freaked out on you. I should probably explain that.”

  “That’s up to you,” Derek said. “I’ll listen anytime you want to talk about it, but I know how hard it is to share the scars life leaves on us.”

  “I came to the US at twenty-two,” Sambit explained, “fresh out of college and full of plans. I was going to get my PhD so I could get a good job in India. I would earn enough money that I’d take away the only real threat my parents could make to try to force me into an arranged marriage. That way Praveen and I could be together, and even if our families disowned us, we’d be okay.”

  “Obviously that didn’t work out since you’re still here,” Derek said.

  “No, it didn’t work out. I thought Praveen was as committed to our path as I was. A month after I got here, my mother called to tell me the wonderful news. My good friend Praveen was getting married the following weekend to the mayor’s daughter,” Sambit said. “He was from a wealthier family than I was, and I underestimated the influence they could bring to bear on his life. I swore to myself right then that I’d never have another long-distance relationship. If a lover wanted to leave me, that was fine, but he’d have to do it to my face rather than behind my back like Praveen did.”

  “I don’t have that great a track record when it comes to relationships,” Derek said, “but I swear I’ll never do something like that to you. We may argue. We may even break up someday. I can’t see the future so I don’t know what it holds, but I swear I will never disappear without an explanation. If things end—and I hope they won’t, so don’t misunderstand me—I will do it honestly and to your face.”

  “I know that,” Sambit said. “Whatever I may have thought or feared, it wasn’t that you’d treat me the way Praveen did, but the whole experience, besides turning me off long-distance relationships, left me feeling….”

  “Unattractive?” Derek suggested. “Unlovable?”

  “Not to mention incapable of holding a lover’s interest,” Sambit admitted.

  “You don’t know that was the problem at all,” Derek insisted. “And even if it was, it could have been his problem, not yours.”

  “How could it have been his problem?” Sambit asked.

  “I don’t know,” Derek was, “but I’m sure it was. I think you’re fascinating, so there was obviously something wrong with him.”

  Sambit laughed. “You’re just saying that because you want to get me in bed.”

  Derek made a show of looking around the room, even pushing up on his elbow and lifting the covers so he could see their nude bodies pressed together. “Baby, I already did that. Now if you’d said that I wanted to keep you in bed, you’d be right.”

  Sambit laughed. “Incorrigible.”

  “Irresistible,” Derek said with a smile. “Kind of pointless to deny it.”

  Sambit shook his head and kissed Derek again. “So, um, I mentioned the couple I met at the picnic today.”

  “The ones you came out to,” Derek said. “Yes, and I don’t think I told you how proud of you I am.”

  “Well, I sort of told them I had a boyfriend,” Sambit said. “That was about the time I realized I wanted you, whatever it took. I told them you weren’t there because you had to work today. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “I don’t mind,” Derek said. “I’m glad you think of me that way, even if you didn’t tell me first. We should do something with them sometime. Dinner or a movie or something.”

  “Really? You’d want to do things like that with me?”

  “It’s what couples do, Sam.”

  “I know, but I’ve never really had that before. We’ll have to work out the details, but maybe you and Fido could come spend the weekend at my place sometimes, and we could have them over for dinner or something.”

  Derek yawned. “We’ll work out the details, but can we do it tomorrow? It’s time to sleep now, and I can’t think of anything better than having you sleep in my arms.”

  How was he supposed to resist that? He wasn’t, he decided, curling deeper into Derek’s arms and closing his eyes. He was asleep within seconds.

  Chapter 18

  “NEXT time we’re totally inviting people to my house,” Derek said. “Your whole living area is smaller than my kitchen.”

  “Don’t rub it in,” Sambit said. “We aren’t all rich industry engineers.”

  “You could be,” Derek said. “One job was filled, but they posted another one as I was leaving work yesterday. You’re a shoo-in if you want it.”

  “We’ll see.” Sambit didn’t really think of it as hedging his bets. He and Derek had managed to see each other every weekend since the memorable faculty picnic and its aftermath, and they talked on the phone every night they weren’t together. Sambit’s doubts were fading in the light of Derek’s obvious and continuing interest and determination to make things work between them. Leaving a job he loved, though, was a huge step, one he wasn’t quite sure he was ready to take. Working at the power plant had reminded him of the pleasures of h
ands-on work, but he had two juniors who had approached him soon after the start of school about mentoring them through their senior projects. Their enthusiasm reminded him why he had started teaching in the first place, and it felt wrong to agree to help them only to leave at the end of their first year. He would find someone to help them if he did, but he hated not following through on his commitments.

  “When we know them better, we’ll think about asking them to drive two hours instead of ten minutes,” Sambit said instead of discussing the job opportunity. “How’s the sambar coming?”

  “This recipe is fucked up. Who puts ‘cook until it smells right’ in a recipe?”

  “My mother,” Sambit deadpanned.

  Derek flushed so adorably Sambit had to kiss him.

  The doorbell rang, forestalling any further discussion. Sambit went to answer it, grinning still at Derek’s sheepish look as he yelled at Fido in the bedroom to be quiet. Sambit chose not to tell Derek that he found his mother’s recipes as frustrating at times as Derek did, but he had yet to find a recipe in a cookbook anywhere that tasted as good as hers, however inexact, not to mention that he couldn’t find a lot of her signature dishes in cookbooks anywhere. They were too local to have a broader appeal. That hadn’t stopped Derek from devouring every dish Sambit had ever put in front of him.

  “Hello,” Sambit said, opening the door for Brad and Paul. “Come in. Derek is in the kitchen.”

  “Oh, he cooks, does he?” Brad said. “Lucky you.”

  “He’s trying out a new recipe tonight,” Sambit said, “so we have to hope it’ll be good.”

  “Oh, what are we having?” Paul asked.

  “His mother’s sambar if I can figure out this recipe,” Derek grumbled, coming in from the kitchen. “Derek Marshall. Nice to meet you.”

  “Paul Smith-Wallace,” Paul said, shaking Derek’s hand. “Sambit mentioned you at the picnic. We were sorry not to get to meet you then.”