Rocking Standby

by Cassandra Lawson

  “A little,” I admitted.

  “You like me,” he stated arrogantly.

  “Mostly, I like your humility,” was my response.

  Gage stopped walking and moved in front of me. I held my breath, afraid he was going to kiss me, yet hoping he was going to kiss me at the same time. Instead, he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me.

  “I like you, too,” he said on a sigh.

  When he released me and began walking at my side again, I decided it was time to change the subject.

  “How’s your mom doing?” I asked.

  “She’s still confused but stable,” he replied.

  I caught his hand and gave it a squeeze. “This can’t be easy for you.”

  “I should be used to it by now,” was his response. “She’s had problems on and off my entire life.”

  “I imagine it never gets easier,” I remarked.

  “No,” he admitted. “I love her, and I hate that I can’t fix this for her.”

  “You’re a good man,” I said quietly. It was true, and it made it so much harder to stick with my resolve to avoid dating him. “This is my car.”

  Gage nodded. “Text me to let me know you got home safely.”

  “I will,” I assured him.

  When I tried to pull my hand away, Gage tugged on it, bringing me closer to his body. Before I could voice a protest, his lips were on mine. It was a gentle, controlled kiss—one that ended far too soon.

  “Goodnight, Bentley,” he murmured, his knuckles grazing my cheek as I stared up at him.

  “We aren’t dating,” was my reply as I slid into the car.

  Gage simply grinned at me as I drove away.

  “We aren’t dating,” I told myself, but my words didn’t sound nearly as convincing as they had at the beginning of the evening.

  Chapter 36

  Bentley

  It had been almost two weeks since Gage had informed me of his move to the Bay Area. In that time, he’d been busy getting settled. Not so busy that he didn’t have time to remind me he believed we were dating. The stubborn man wasn’t giving up. He hadn’t tried to get me into bed, claiming he wanted me to admit I was his before that happened. Those were his exact words. It was sexual blackmail. Every time he kissed me, my toes curled and my panties practically melted from the heat. The man had an amazing mouth, and I hadn’t forgotten all the other things he could do with it.

  “Earth to Bennie.”

  I flushed when my brother’s voice cut through the haze of Gage-induced lust, reminding me I was sitting in my best friend’s living room. Cami had finally talked Lex into hanging out with us. She’d suggested ordering pizzas and watching a movie. We’d both been pleasantly surprised by his agreement.

  “Sorry,” I began as I looked up at my brother from my spot on Cami’s sectional. “I zoned out.”

  “I’ll bet you were daydreaming about a certain lead guitarist,” Cami teased.

  “What lead guitarist?” Lex asked.

  I hadn’t told my brother about what was going on with Gage. It’s not the sort of thing you tell your younger brother. Rather than giving me a chance to reply, Cami took it upon herself to explain my situation with Gage. “Your sister is dating Gage Addison.”

  “Yeah, I know,” Lex said with a laugh. “I just wanted to see if she’d admit to it.”

  “I’m not dating him,” I argued.

  “Right,” Lex drawled. “This is the part where you tell me he was leaving backstage passes for you because you’re good friends.”

  “Very good friends,” Cami added with a laugh.

  “Don’t give me any details,” Lex warned. “There are things I don’t need to know about my sister.”

  “We aren’t dating,” I insisted. “It’s more like he’s stalking me.”

  “He is not stalking you,” Cami argued. The doorbell rang, so she hurried out of her family room, calling out to us, “Be right back. That must be the pizzas.”

  “What’s really going on with you and the lead guitarist from Reckless Release?” Lex asked. “Why is this so upsetting to you?”

  “What’s the deal with calling him the lead guitarist?” I asked. “They only have one person playing guitar, so it seems silly to say he’s the lead guitarist.”

  “Stop trying to change the subject Bennie,” he told me. “Is this guy harassing you? It worries me when you use the word stalking.”

  I was about to assure my brother Gage wasn’t stalking me when Cami returned with our two pizza delivery guys—Gage and his buddy, Austin.

  “Ginger Ann!” Austin exclaimed, immediately setting the pizza boxes down and taking a seat beside me. “I can’t believe I finally get to meet you.”

  “Ginger Ann?” I asked.

  “Don’t ask,” Gage warned before turning his attention to Austin. “As for you, sit somewhere else.”

  Lex was glaring at Gage. He got to his feet and stalked across the room before Gage could approach me. “We need to talk.”

  “Knock it off, Lex,” I told my brother.

  Gage shook his head. “He’s right. We should talk.”

  “No!” I stated, getting to my feet and advancing on Gage. “Lex is on my side. You’re not talking another person over to your side.”

  Rather than arguing, Gage leaned forward and gave me a quick kiss before heading back out of the room.

  “We’ll be right back,” Lex called out.

  “Men are morons,” I muttered.

  “Don’t take it out on the good ones, like me,” Austin told me. He stood and held out a hand. “I’m Austin. It’s nice to finally meet the woman Gage has been obsessing over.”

  I shook his hand. “Obsessing? That seems like a strong word.”

  “It’s a good word for it,” he assured me. “While your brother kicks Gage’s ass, let me tell you all about how Gage has been acting these last few months.”

  Chapter 37

  Gage

  Bentley’s brother looked seriously pissed when he turned to face me. The only time he’d seen me before had been the day I’d insulted his sister. I had no idea how much of that conversation Bentley had shared with him. If she’d told him everything, he had good reason to be pissed at me.

  “What the hell is going on between you and my sister?” he demanded.

  “I’m dating her,” I replied.

  “That’s what I thought until she said you’re stalking her,” he accused.

  When I laughed, Lex’s eyes narrowed. “Sorry,” I began with my hands up in surrender. “I guess I am stalking her, but it’s for a good reason. I respect her.”

  “You slept with her before your tour,” he accused. “That could be construed as using her. Before you start trying to defend yourself, I’m not about to kick your ass over that. My sister can take care of herself. She’s been taking care of me and everyone else for years. Bennie has a right to let go and do something spontaneous. That’s the last I’m saying on this subject because I don’t want to think about my sister having sex. The details I already know are bad enough.”

  I nodded. “Understood. Care to tell me why you look like you want to kick my ass?”

  “You just admitted to stalking her,” he reminded me. “Don’t you think that’s enough reason?”

  “Why argue with the truth? I’ve gone to great lengths to make sure I’m everywhere your sister is going to be, whenever possible. I like your sister, but she’s terrified of getting involved with me. She keeps saying she doesn’t want to date me because of the band, but she won’t tell me why.”

  “Damn,” Lex muttered as he ran a hand through his hair. “This is just one more thing I fucked up for Bennie.”

  “You can’t blame yourself for Bentley’s hang-ups,” I argued.

  Lex considered what I’d said before nodding. “You’re right. She’s forever on my case about getting over what happened, but she’s still stuck in the past.”

  “What happened?” I asked, hoping he wouldn’t refuse to tell me. />
  “You know I was in prison, right?” he asked.

  I nodded. “On a drug charge.”

  “Drugs are what landed me in prison and killed my best friend,” he began with a sigh. “We were both in a band. Things were going great for us. We even had a meeting scheduled with a big record label. I thought I was invincible.”

  “I think we all do when we’re younger,” I added.

  He nodded. “I was also a complete dumbass. It started with drinking, but soon, we were all using. My favorite was cocaine, but I didn’t mind trying other stuff. One night, I threw a big ass party. Bennie had already gotten on my case about the drinking and the drugs. She kept telling me to get my act together. At the time, I thought she was being too uptight. That’s what I told her. I accused her of having a stick up her ass, and we basically stopped talking. That night, I butt dialed her, and she got to hear some of the party. She threatened to call the cops if I didn’t send everyone home in cabs.”

  “Did she call the police?” I asked.

  “Nah,” he replied. “She should have, but she believed me when I promised to end the party and get some help. I was lying. Maybe she knew that deep down, but she wanted to believe me, so she let it go. The party was epic—or so I thought at the time. The next morning, when I found my best friend—the drummer for my band—face down on my living room floor, I laughed at him for passing out.” Lex took a deep, shuddering breath before continuing. “Only, he wasn’t passed out. He was dead. He’d overdosed. I still can’t believe I just laughed when I saw him there,” he uttered. “I was so fucking stupid that I didn’t even consider that something could really be wrong with him.”

  “That’s terrible,” I said quietly. “I can’t imagine losing a friend like that.”

  “And it was my fault,” Lex added with a sigh.

  “You can’t blame yourself,” I told him. “I get that it happened at your party, but your friend was an adult. He was responsible for his own mistakes.”

  “He was barely an adult,” Lex added with a sigh. “Kyle was five years younger than me, not even old enough to drink yet.” He looked away, and his voice took on a far-off quality when he spoke again. “If I’d listened to Bennie, Kyle would have gone home. He wouldn’t have kept getting more wasted that night. I fucked up. Bennie is still paying the price for my fuck up.”

  “Bentley’s a grown woman,” I stated. “I can see how this might have turned her off guys in bands, but that’s on her. You need to stop trying to take the blame for everything. Sure, you made a mistake, but you served your time. As for your sister, she is going to get over her hang-ups. I’m not giving up on her.”

  “You really like my sister, don’t you?” he asked.

  “I love your sister,” I confessed. “Don’t tell her I said that or she’ll likely run for the hills, but it’s true. I just need to prove to her I won’t hurt her.”

  “I’ve read a lot about your band,” Lex began.

  “Because of my involvement with your sister?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “I still love music. You guys aren’t big partiers. There’s some drinking mentioned, but you stay out of trouble.”

  “We try,” I told him.

  “If you need any help convincing Bennie to give you a chance, let me know,” he told me, putting out a hand.

  I shook his hand. “It would be great if you could help me get Bentley to come see us play.”

  “I can get her there,” he told me. “She’s forever trying to convince me to go out. Where are you playing?”

  “There’s not much on our schedule, but we have a couple of local club gigs coming up. Our next tour isn’t for months, and we all enjoy playing live,” I replied. A thought occurred to me. “What did you play?”

  “Bass,” he replied. “I also played guitar for a short time.”

  “Do you still play?” I asked.

  “Those days are in my past,” he replied with a sad smile. “From time to time, I play a little when I’m alone.”

  “Come play with us,” I urged him.

  “You already have a bassist, and I haven’t played guitar in years,” he pointed out.

  “Harley was invited to a wedding, so she’ll be out of town for one of our shows. It’s a family member, and she can’t skip it,” I explained. “If you could help out at our smaller show, that would be great. I don’t expect a big crowd since the club hasn’t announced we’re playing that night. They don’t plan to until the week of the show. It should be fun.”

  “I don’t know,” he hedged.

  “The music isn’t what caused your problems,” I stated. “You and your sister both need to realize that.”

  I probably shouldn’t push him so hard, but I hated seeing him give up on something he’d once loved. I certainly wasn’t saying he hadn’t made a mistake, but it was time to move past it.

  “I’ll give you my number, and you can send me the details,” he agreed, his tone a mix of wariness and excitement.

  “You’ll need to meet with us for practice so you know the songs,” I told him.

  “All right,” he agreed. “We’d better head back before Bennie comes looking for us.”

  Chapter 38

  Bentley

  “Drummers are superior to guitarists,” Austin boasted.

  Austin was doing his best to distract me while my brother and Gage talked. He’d told me about Gage staying away from all the groupies and checking his phone often for messages from me while they were on tour. I definitely liked hearing that I’d been on Gage’s mind. I was still nervous about getting involved with him, but my arguments seemed weaker by the day.

  “Good news,” Lex announced as soon as he walked into the room.

  “You didn’t break Gage’s perfect nose,” Cami chirped.

  “I am beginning to feel under-appreciated,” Austin complained playfully.

  “Poor baby,” Cami crooned. “I’d give you more attention, but I’m not your type. I haven’t had any tragic breakups recently.”

  Austin winked at her. “If you happen to get your heart broken, call me. I’d be more than happy to serve as your rebound guy, gorgeous.”

  Cami’s cheeks heated. “I’ll keep that in mind,” she replied.

  “What’s the good news?” I asked.

  “I’m going to play bass with Reckless Release at a small club show,” Lex announced.

  “You’re doing what?” I demanded at the same time as Austin said, “Great! I was worried we’d have to listen to Xander bitch about filling in for Harley or cancel that show. You can play, right?”

  “He can play,” Gage assured Austin. “Lex is going to practice with us starting next week.”

  “Why are you doing this?” I asked my brother.

  “Gage said some stuff that got me thinking about how much I miss playing,” he confessed. “I’ve been hiding in my apartment for too long.”

  At first, I simply stared at my brother. “That’s great,” I told him, still afraid of my brother ending up in the same mess he’d been in before but also glad he was doing something. I could also see how excited he was about playing again.

  “Are you going to come see me play, Bennie?” my brother asked.

  “Of course I am,” I assured him before standing to hug him.

  After releasing my brother, I walked over to Gage, who’d remained off to the side during my interaction with Lex. Slipping my arms around his waist, I rested my cheek against his chest and said, “Thank you.”

  “Does this mean you’re going to let me put my arm around you while we watch the movie tonight?” he asked.

  “I’m sure you could talk me into just about anything,” I told him.

  “Don’t tempt me,” he was his reply.

  Chapter 39

  Gage

  I’d been nervous about bringing Austin with me, but things had turned out fine. He’d behaved himself, for the most part.

  The evening had definitely been a turning point in my relationship with B
entley. I wasn’t sure if it was all about me getting Lex to agree to play with the band, or if part of it had to do with whatever Austin had told her about me while I was out of the room. No one would tell me what he’d shared. Hopefully, he hadn’t discussed my near-stalker-like obsession with Bentley during the tour.

  Since things were going so well, I decided to push my luck at the end of the evening. “Can I talk you into driving me home?” I asked Bentley.

  “Didn’t you drive yourself here?” she asked suspiciously as we made our way to the door.

  “I drove,” Austin responded for me. “If you don’t drive him home, he’ll be stuck going to a dive bar with me.”

  “Okay,” she agreed with a sweet smile. “I’ll drive you home.”

  After we said our goodbyes, I followed Bentley to her car, doing a good job of keeping my hands to myself. Once I was seated in the passenger’s seat, I looked over at her. Rather than putting her key in the ignition, she worried the key ring as she stared down at her lap. With a sigh, she finally started up the car.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “I’m fine,” she assured me. “Thank you again for what you did for my brother. I really appreciate it.”

  “I wasn’t sure how you’d react to me talking your brother into playing with us,” I admitted. “After what Lex told me, I figured you’d be angry that I was getting him involved in the music world again.”

  “It makes me nervous,” she began. “We’re only a year apart, and we were really close until he started using heavily. I didn’t see the signs. I guess it’s more accurate to say I ignored the signs until he was too far in.”

  “This isn’t your fault,” I told her.

  “I know,” she agreed. “The logical part of my brain gets that I’m not responsible for my brother. I wasn’t on good terms with him when he got arrested. He’d been acting like an ass for months. I didn’t see the problems at first. I thought it was his band’s success making him act cocky.”

  “He had a right to feel cocky,” I added. “He was still in his early twenties and getting signed by a record label.”