The Difference a Day Makes (Perfect, Indiana: Book Two)

by Longley, Barbara

  “Malloy Rodeo Ranch, home of the rankest bulls in Texas,” a familiar male voice answered.

  “Is this Austin?”

  “It is. Who’s this?”

  “Paige Langford. We met a few weeks ago in Evansville. Do you remember me?”

  “Of course I remember you. Let me guess. You’ve given the runt the toss, and you want me to introduce you to my baby brother.”

  “No, nothing like that.” She laughed. “Ryan is visiting his parents this weekend, and I want to be there for him. I need—”

  “Don’t mess with me.” His tone turned serious. “My cousin is going to be in Oklahoma this weekend? He’s coming home?”

  “Yes, and I was hoping you’d give me a telephone number to contact his mom.”

  “Well, I’ll be damned. Wait till I tell my folks. More than likely, you’ll be seeing all of us this weekend. Do you have a paper and pen?”

  “I do.” She copied down the number he gave her. “Thanks. Say hello to your dad for me.”

  “I’ll do that. It’s not too late to change your mind about my brother. Just say the word.”

  She laughed again. “We’ll see you this weekend.”

  “All right. Wait a half hour before you call my aunt. I want to give her the heads-up. Otherwise, she might not answer an unknown caller.”

  “I will. Thanks, Austin.”

  “Later, Paige.”

  What if Ryan’s parents didn’t want her to intrude on their reunion with him? Might as well start packing while she waited the torturous half hour. Either she’d be traveling to Oklahoma or Indiana.

  Bleary-eyed and exhausted, Ryan yawned so big his jaw made a popping noise. He was on familiar ground. Almost home, and he could hardly wait to see the red Oklahoma clay in the light of day. This back road was as familiar to him as the lines on the palms of his hands. He’d learned to drive here, drag-raced with his brothers, and partied in the surrounding hills when he was a teen. Lowering the window, he took in the familiar scent of sweetgrass and clover.

  The fresh air helped him stay awake. Glancing at the clock on his dash, he knew his parents wouldn’t be waiting up. Their workday started with the rising sun, and it was almost midnight. His heart lodged in his throat at the sight of the porch light coming into view in the distance. The warm glow guided him home after years of self-imposed exile. Turning onto the long dirt driveway, he glanced at the overhead gate, the same old bright-green shamrock with MALLOY written in bold black letters in the center. Home. Childhood memories flooded through him in a happy kaleidoscope of images. His eyes filled, and his cheeks ached with the broad smile he couldn’t contain.

  Lord, how he wished Paige was with him. She’d call on Monday night. She had to. And if she didn’t? Don’t go there. He swallowed hard, parked his truck, and retrieved his duffel bag from the backseat, remembering the day he and Paige made love on those leather seats. If she didn’t want him anymore, he’d have to sell the damn pickup.

  Opening the front door as quietly as he could, he entered the dark house. No reason to wake anyone. He took off his boots and walked through the foyer toward the steps. The soft sound of a feminine snore came from the living room. Ryan froze. He knew that sound.

  No, it couldn’t be. Exhaustion and missing her were playing tricks on his mind.

  He took another step, only to stop in his tracks when he heard it again. He peered into the living room, barely able to make out the outline of someone curled into the corner of the couch. A creaking sound and light on the stairway brought him around. His dad stared down at him from the steps. Ryan’s duffel bag dropped from his hand, and his heart wrenched. In a second flat, he found himself wrapped in his dad’s bear hug.

  “Welcome home,” his dad rasped out, slapping his back. “We’ve missed you.”

  Ryan hugged him back just as hard. “It’s good to be here. I’ve missed all of you too.”

  His dad let him go and cleared his throat, keeping his voice low. “We tried to get your girl to go to bed, but she insisted on waiting up for you.” He gestured toward the living room. “Paige called your mother on Wednesday, said something about making the biggest mistake of her life, and could she come here for your visit.” He chuckled deep in his throat. “She’s been singing your praises since she got here this afternoon.”

  “Paige is here?” Wonder stole his breath.

  “Yep. We like her. We like her a lot, son.” He squeezed Ryan’s shoulder and smiled, his eyes bright with the sheen of tears. “You’d better go wake her. I’m going back to bed. I just wanted to make sure you got home safely. We’ll talk tomorrow.” He turned back to the stairs. “We put her in the guest room. I guess y’all are old enough to work out sleeping arrangements without our help.”

  “Has my room changed any?” he called softly.

  “Nope.” His dad chuckled again and headed back upstairs. “The grandkids like it the way it is.”

  A pair of twin beds with flannel cowboy-print bedspreads weren’t going to do it. He wanted his superhero in his arms tonight. Every night. Guest room it is. At least the bed in there could hold them both. He turned on a lamp and stood before the couch, hardly believing what he saw. She lay curled in the corner with a throw over her shoulders. Her hands were tucked under her cheek where she laid her head on the armrest.

  This moment, this picture of her, would remain etched into his soul for all time. The center of his world, his love, had come all the way to Oklahoma to be with him, and a joy like nothing he’d ever known filled him to bursting.

  Perching on the edge of the couch, he brushed the hair from her face and kissed her eyelids. “Hi, honey. I’m home.” The last time he’d uttered those words, he’d been on the verge of pulling the trigger. Noah’s call had brought him back from the brink, and Paige had brought him back to life.

  She stirred, yawned, and stretched. “Ryan?”

  “You snore, babe.”

  “No, I don’t.”

  He laughed. “Is this one of those arguments we’re going to have for the next sixty years?” He held his breath, waiting for her reply.

  “I hope so.” She threw herself into his arms and snuggled against him. “I love you. I’m so sorry. You were right all along.”

  “So were you, and that makes us right together.” Gathering her close, he absorbed the feel of her in his arms, the way she smelled. “I love you too, but I want to be clear about the direction we’re heading before we go any further. I need to know.” He rested his forehead against hers. “All I have to offer is a handful of dreams, but I swear I’ll work like hell to make those dreams come true. I want to grow old with you. I want to build something from nothing, including a family of our own. Are you willing to place your faith in me, darlin’? Do you want me like I want you?” His heart pounded away in his chest as he placed his future in her hands.

  “Yes. Oh, yes. I want that too.” Her arms tightened around him. “I have so much to tell you.”

  “Tomorrow.” Could a man melt from an overload of happiness? “Come to bed. We can talk tomorrow,” he whispered. “All I want right now is to fall asleep with you in my arms. I drove straight through to get here.”

  “I’ve missed you so much.” Her eyes roamed all over his face as if she meant to memorize his features.

  He kissed her, pouring all of the love and longing he had into the melding of their hearts. “Bed,” he murmured against her mouth. Oh, and there it was, that sexy laugh of hers, sliding over him like warm honey. He rose from the couch, bringing her with him, content to the marrow of his bones.

  Ryan sat in the kitchen at the old scarred wooden table and drank his coffee. His brothers had already taken off to do chores, but his dad had stayed behind to spend time with him. His glance went to his mom and Paige, who worked together to get the breakfast dishes stacked in the dishwasher. The two women chatted away like they’d known each other their whole lives. “Dad, I was wondering if I could borrow an ATV and a truck and trailer today. There’s somethin
g I have to do.”

  “All right.” His dad’s eyes narrowed for a fraction of second, then fixed sharply on him. “Going to the Antelope Hills?”

  “Yeah. It’s time. I’ve been seeing a therapist at the VA center in Evansville, and it’s helping. I need to go back—”

  “What happened with Theresa was never your fault, son.”

  “I’m trying to come to grips with that.” His throat tightened.

  “I’m coming with you.” Paige slid back into the seat beside him.

  “I’d like that.” He reached for her hand. “When we get back, I want to help out around here, if you’ll let me.”

  “There’s always plenty to do. We’ll put you to work.” His dad grinned. “Don’t you worry.”

  “I’m going to help your mom get ready for tonight’s barbecue,” Paige said. “I guess it’s going to be a huge gathering.”

  His mom took her usual place next to his dad and set the coffeepot in the middle. “The whole family is coming. Everyone is so happy to have you home.” She reached out and squeezed his arm, her eyes bright. “Tell me about this new job of yours.”

  “I design and build custom furniture with Paige’s brother. He’s my former lieutenant and a good friend. I’m finally putting my creativity to work.” He launched into a description of his new job, the line he was designing, and the ad campaign.

  By the time he was done, his mom had tears in her eyes. “It’s…It’s so good to see you happy, baby. Promise me that you won’t…Don’t shut us out anymore.”

  “I’m sorry. Doc says I was already suffering from PTSD when I enlisted. It’s been a long, hard road, but I won’t do that again. You have my promise.”

  His dad slid his arm around his mom’s shoulders and pulled her close. The love his parents had for each other came through as clear as day. He wanted that with Paige. First, he had to lay things to rest with Theresa. “You ready to go, darlin’?”

  “Keys are hanging on the hooks by the back door. The Ford has the trailer hitch for the ATV trailer,” his dad told him. “One more cup of coffee with my best girl here, and then I’m heading out. We’ll see you two for lunch?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure we’ll be back by then.” Ryan led Paige to the back door and grabbed the keys. They walked across the yard to the machine shed, and a mixture of dread and anticipation roiled through him.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” Paige ran her hand over his shoulder.

  He nodded, slid open the door, and located the ATV. “It’s time.”

  She helped him get the trailer hitched to the truck, and he drove the ATV up the ramp and got it secured. “Grab a couple of helmets. They’re over there.” He pointed to the shelves against the wall. “I’ll gas everything up.” Like a lot of ranches, they kept a tank of gas on the premises. He drove the truck close enough to fill the tanks and waited for Paige to climb in.

  “Why an ATV and not horses?” she asked once she’d settled in and fastened her seat belt.

  “I’m not ready to climb back on a horse, and I sure as hell don’t want to see you on one.” His jaw clenched. “Not today.”

  Paige bit her lower lip and turned away. “I can’t even imagine how difficult this must be for you.”

  “It means the world to me to have you here.” He started the truck, and they were on their way. “Doc says I deserve to be happy as much as anyone else. He says I need to forgive myself.”

  She shot him the You’re an idiot look. “Didn’t I say exactly the same thing?”

  He smiled. “Yep. You did. Last night, you said you have lots to tell me.”

  “Noah gave me my job back minus the title. I have more responsibilities, the same crappy pay, and he made me agree to join the monthly poker games.” She grinned. “I found out my dad is retiring, which came as a total shock. He offered to hire me if that’s what I really wanted.” She slid him a sideways look. “I turned it down. I’m relieved. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders, and I’m free to put my heart into helping L&L to grow.”

  “That’s good.” He held fast to the calming sound of her voice as she talked on. “Poker?” He frowned. “Noah’s making the monthly poker games part of the deal?”

  “Yes, and I think he expects you to join too.”

  “I guess I could do that.” The Antelope Hills grew closer. He found a spot off-road to park near the trail where he and Theresa had set out that day. He peered out of the windshield at the cloudless blue sky, his gut twisting. “We’re here.” He climbed out of the truck and went to unload the four-wheeler. Paige followed.

  Once he had the ATV on the ground, he straightened and stared toward the wide path winding through the rugged landscape. An overwhelming sense of foreboding brought sweat to his brow. Paige’s arms came around his waist, and she pressed herself into his back. He placed his hands over hers. “I feel like I’m walking to my doom.”

  “You suffered a horrible trauma here. What you feel is normal under the circumstances.”

  “Why, thank you, Dr. Langford.” He grunted. “The sooner I get this over with, the better.”

  “Think about Theresa and how things were before that day.” She retrieved the helmets from the back and handed him one. “Fill your mind with the happy memories.”

  He tried—and failed. Instead, his mind conjured the way he’d found her after the accident, her head split and her neck turned into an impossible position. A shudder racked his body, and he sucked in a shaky breath.

  “You don’t have to do this.” Once again, her arms came around him, offering comfort and strength.

  “I know.” He hugged her to him. “I don’t have to, but I want to.” He climbed onto the four-wheeler, started the engine, and waited for Paige to settle herself behind him. “Hold on to my waist.”

  He took it slow, retracing the route he and Theresa had taken that day.

  “It’s pretty through here,” Paige remarked.

  “Yeah, it is.” Trying to see it through her eyes, he scanned the area. “When I was a kid, I spent a lot of time here with my brothers and sister. Once our chores were done, we’d ride our horses or ATVs through these hills.” He grinned as memories swamped him. “We used to play outlaw and posse, stuff like that.”

  “Sounds like fun.”

  “Do you ride, darlin’?”

  “Sure. I went through a horse phase, and my parents got me lessons. I learned English style, though.”

  “It’s not that different.” Someday he’d take her riding. Maybe. Stopping the four-wheeler, he pointed. “There’s the ponderosa pine that split.” He stared at the charred remains of the dead half of the pine, memories flowing through him. Paige’s hands on his shoulders kept him centered. “Not far now.”

  They continued on, and the forest went quiet, as if the hills themselves were holding their breath, waiting. He rounded the bend, tension banding his chest. The boulders bordering the ravine came into view. The closer they got, the harder it was to breathe. His hands shook as he parked the four-wheeler and took off his helmet. His focus turned inward, he approached the place where his life had come crashing down around him.

  Paige was beside him, but he couldn’t reach for her to save his life. His eyes riveted on the spot, he searched for evidence of the terrible accident that had changed his life forever. There was none. Theresa was gone forever, her life cut short by tragedy, and the Antelope Hills held no trace of her. The land had let her go, and it was time he did the same. Paige’s hand slipped into his.

  Ryan closed his eyes and swallowed. “I don’t know what I expected. I thought her blood would stain the granite—or at least I’d be able to see something from that day.” Instead, he was surrounded with the natural beauty of the area, the ruggedness of the pines growing among the boulders overlooking the river. He caught a glimpse of a hawk riding an air current, heard birdcalls echoing through the woods, and sucked in the pine-scented air. Peaceful. Paige squeezed his hand, and he turned to steady himself. “Ther
e’s something I have to do.”

  “Can I help?”

  “You already have.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his suicide letter, the photo of Theresa he’d carried everywhere, and a book of matches. Moving to the edge of the ravine, he crouched down and set the letter on fire, watching as it burned to ash. “Theresa, I’ll always love you, but it’s time to let you go. I need to move on, sweetheart, and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

  Tears filled his eyes as happier memories of their time together played through his mind. He held her photo in front of him, traced the image, and said good-bye. Lifting a stone, he placed the picture underneath and stood up. “Rest in peace.”

  His phone rang. He pulled it from his back pocket and checked the caller ID: Unavailable. “Hello?” Static filled his ear, and a tingling sensation started at the top of his scalp and moved down, like a hand running over his scalp. A chill snaked down his spine, and he ended the call. The phone started ringing again, with the same Unavailable message showing on the caller ID. Goose bumps rose on his arms, and all the fine hairs at the back of his neck stood straight up. “Weird.” He ended the call.

  “What is it?” Paige came to stand beside him.

  “The night your brother called, I was very close to ending my life. I got two calls that night. I didn’t answer the first, and the second came from Noah. I asked him why he called back a second time that night, and he said he only called once.” He shook his head. “This is going to sound crazy, but—”

  “You believe Theresa was reaching out to you, trying to stop you from taking your life?”

  “Crazy, huh?” He stared out over the ravine, a deep peace settling his nerves. “The caller ID just now said Unavailable, and there wasn’t anyone there. Twice. I got goose bumps all over when I answered.”