Burning Both Ends
Page 19
Dare had been daunted by the prospect, but Blue and Shane had arranged everything along with her mother, and Lock had hired a party planner and caterer for the party in Melbourne so all she had to do was show up. Initially, she’d thought they should do it at the house their house now, but he hadn’t wanted her to have to deal with any of the stress or hassle of getting everything ready.
Dare looked up at Lock. She smiled, but she could tell there was a little tenseness in his features he was trying to hide. It wasn’t like she wanted to do this to him, but she had to do it. She sucked in a deep breath and then opened the car door.
She looked across the rolling green hill that ended with an abrupt plunge into the Pacific towards Ryan’s grave site. She came here every year at least twice. On Ryan’s birthday and on the anniversary of the day they’d met. Never the day he died. That would no longer be feasible since Dare and Lock had decided to live in Melbourne. She’d miss her family, but they were all scattered now anyway. Lock had such deep roots in Melbourne with his career and his family and his house that would now see the fourth generation of Rykers. She wanted that for herself and their children. His sister, August, was thrilled with her impending aunt status, and she and Dare had already become friends, which eased some of the ache she’d had since her two closest friends had died within months of each other this past year.
Life kept rolling forward, but she’d tried to hold it back like it was a runaway horse. Not going to do that anymore.
“It’s kinda weird to ask,” she said softly, not quite ready to leave the car or Lock’s side. “Do you want to come?”
Instantly, the set of his shoulders relaxed. “You want me to?” he asked carefully.
Did she? Dare wasn’t sure, but everything was better with Lock so why not? Besides, Ryan could meet him in a not real, but it would feel sorta real way. Lock had already met Ryan’s parents. She’d been nervous, but of course they had been thrilled for her and for Lock and they’d both ended up staying for dinner. Ryan’s family now had three foster kids and while at first the thought of Ryan’s parents fostering other children had seemed a betrayal, she now realized it had been the best and healthiest decision they could have made for themselves and for the children.
“I always want you with me,” she said seriously.
Lock slid out of the car and she was just struck dumb again by how he moved. So coordinated, strong. It always made her heart and tummy feel a bit fluttery, which was too embarrassing to admit although she’d already told him several times, just to see his smile and the way his eyes warmed when she complimented him.
He held her hand as they walked to the grave. She’d brought flowers, not that Ryan had been into flowers, but the splashes of color looked beautiful against the acres of green and the marble headstone with the grey-blue churning Pacific in the background. The ocean had always seemed to mirror her mood, but today she felt lighter as if she had one more thing to let go of.
Well, she wasn’t going to let go of him so much as she was going to stop clinging. She’d thought of what she would say. She always spoke to him aloud as if he needed the words. But maybe Lock didn’t want to hear this. No man wanted to compete with a ghost although there wasn’t a competition. Not anymore.
He stood behind her, and she leaned back into his strength and warmth, shivering a little at the memory or what she’d almost lost when she’d started to do her usual run away from emotions just two months ago. His hands slid around her and rested on her small baby bump that Lock was fast becoming obsessed with.
He couldn’t seem to stop touching her, and he’d even bought a real camera so he could record every change of her body in highly pixelated detail. Dare sighed and closed her eyes, loving the sun’s warmth on her face and the warmth of Lock’s body on her back and his hands over their babies.
This was the first time she’d been here when she hadn’t felt like crap. Cold and heavy and dark and sad and guilty.
“It’s beautiful here,” she said, surprising herself because she hadn’t meant to say that at all. “Peaceful. It never felt that way before. That’s you,” she said, picking up one of his hands and kissing it. Then she pressed her hands over his and just let the moment wash over her.
She’d come here to say goodbye. She’d thought of a speech. All the things she should say to mark this moment. Instead, she stood with her husband. Husband. She tasted the word and noticed how the sun’s rays felt on her skin. How the breeze ruffled her hair that she’d hadn’t had buzzed again since before she’d arrived in Australia. And she was happy.
A thrill ran through her. And then another. Like she was being tickled.
“Wait. Lock...” She turned toward him. “I think I felt them.”
His hands were pressed against her bump. “Probably too soon for me to feel them.” He kissed her neck and then along her collarbone, and she arched back to give him better access.
“I’m happy,” she whispered. Then she leaned forward and touched the cool marble gravestone. Traced the letters R-Y-A-N like she always did.
“Ryan, this is Lock,” she whispered. She thought of the other words she’d prepared, but they didn’t seem to fit. “I’m really, really, finally, really happy.”
She stayed there, kneeling for a moment because she wouldn’t be here again, and it didn’t really matter because Ryan, the boy she’d loved, wasn’t here either, but she wouldn’t let go of him completely. He’d always be remembered like he’d begged during his last desperate breaths when they’d been alone in the room.
She stood up and slipped her hand into Lock’s.
“There’s a path down to the beach a few miles south of here,” she said. “We could go for a swim before dinner and catching our flight home tonight.”
“Sounds perfect.”
“Which part?” She almost felt like skipping back to the car.
“All of it, Dare. All of it.”
The End
The Hot Aussie Knights
Headed by grandfather Leonard (The Legend) Knight, the Knight family is fire-fighting royalty in Australia. Two generations have followed in Leonard’s highly distinguished footsteps and nowadays, despite being scattered across the length and breadth of Australia, it’s the five Knight cousins who keep the Hot Aussie Knight legacy alive, working hard and playing hard, day and night.
Book 1: Hot Mess by Amy Andrews
Book 2: Burning Both Ends by Sinclair Jayne
Book 3: Long Hot Summer by Victoria Purman
Book 4: Burning Love by Trish Morey
If you enjoyed Burning Both Ends, you’ll love the next book in...
The Smoky Mountain Knights Series
Book 1: A Country Love Song
Sutter Knight’s story
Book 2: Burning both Ends
Darington Knight’s story
Book 3: Long Hot Summer
Dylan Knight’s Story
Book 4: Burning Love
Coming soon
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About the Author
Sinclair Jayne has loved reading romance novels since she discovered Barbara Cartland historical romances when she was in sixth grade. By seventh grade, she was haunting the library shelves looking to fall in love over and over again with the heroes born from the imaginations of her favorite authors. After teaching writing classes and workshops to adults and teens for many years in Seattle and Portland, she returned to her first love of reading romances and became an editor for Tule Publishing last year.
Sinclair lives in Oregon’s wine country where she and her family own a small vineyard of Pinot Noir and where sh
e dreams of being able to write at a desk like Jane Austen instead of in parking lots waiting for her kids to finish one of their 12,000 extracurricular activities. ...
Find her on Twitter@SinclairJayne1
For the latest news from Tule Publishing, sign up for our newsletter here or check out our website at TulePublishing.com