The Fallout

by Knox, J. C.

  ‘Until he abandoned me!’ she thought, in a flash of anger.

  She’s been in such a bad place after what happened to Elizabeth and George being taken back to prison, she wanted to die and a part of her still does. After Elizabeth died, Sarah was told to go home and get on with her life. It’s been eating her up that the baby absorbed all the radiation, it kept her safe but meant certain death for the baby. Elizabeth never stood a chance, George knew what would happen, he tried to warn her, and she should have listened but even after all that she has been through, she still feels that she was right to try.

  It’s been a week since Sarah realised that she is alone in the town, and she now knows that Magnus intentionally left her out of the loop, he was never going to let her into the bunker. This morning she put on a hazmat suit and mask and left the house to scout the area. Hoping to find anybody who decided not to go, using the Geiger-meter she went house to house knocking on doors. There were some doors that were left unlocked and she found government issued leaflets explaining what the people should do to protect themselves and how they would be contacted to enter the shelter. Every house she went into had some sort of leaflet; it looks like there were several leaflets sent out at different times, there were leaflets warning the people not to drink the water. She’s certain that her name has intentionally been left of the list to enter the shelter.

  ‘That wee weasel will pay!’ she raged.

  Furious that Magnus left her out to die, he could have warned her about the water even if he didn’t want her in the bunker.

  Why would he do this to her? Is it because she told the town the truth, that he knew they were all in danger and kept it to himself? On the plus side, she was able to gather more tinned and canned foods that people didn’t bring with them. She wonders how many people ignored the calls to stop drinking the tap water, it’s likely that many who have entered the bunker are already dying but don’t know it yet.

  Walking to the fridge she lifts the vodka that hasn’t been touched in a week, staring at the bottle she places it back where it was and starts doing press ups. It’s a habit she’s gotten into, every time she wants a drink, she does some press ups to distract her from the yearning and shaking. Last night she dreamt of that clear bitter liquid in her mouth and had to do everything she could this morning to stop herself from taking a drink, the yearning was so strong it was physically painful. She doesn’t remember exactly when she became dependent on alcohol, but vodka definitely helped get her through those desperate days after George went back to prison and Elizabeth died. But she wasn’t dependent then, that came later, there was a point when she decided not to go to work but stay in bed drinking all day instead. The following day she couldn’t go to work even though they were short staffed after a series of radiation like deaths and she was needed. That is the point where she could have changed the course she took; she could have taken a day to get over her hangover and then go back to work and face the music. But she didn’t, instead she tried to cure her two-day hangover with more alcohol and went to work regardless, shame washes over her, about what happened that day. She almost killed a woman; the woman was a type 1 diabetic and Sarah had got the woman’s insulin muddled, administering a near fatal dose of fast acting insulin, when what the woman needed was slow acting insulin. It was only the actions of her colleagues that the woman didn’t die. She was fired for gross misconduct, losing her job along with her guilt about almost killing the woman and actually killing Elizabeth were the catalyst in sending her on a spiral of destructive behaviours. It must have been a shock for George when he got out of prison to find her in such a state, Sarah barely remembers him arriving home, all she remembers is feeling pissed off that he’d taken all the empty bottles to the recycling center. She was annoyed because she wanted to wring them out, to make sure there wasn’t a drop left. Ashamed at her behaviour, but furious that he didn’t recognise she needed help not abandoned, what sort of husband is he, that he could do that to her? George has some quirky elements to his personality, it’s part of what Sarah loved about him, he doesn’t always understand the needs of others, he’s practical but unemotional about things. But, even when he was detached about other things and people, he was always emotional where she was concerned, but not this time. She must have pushed him to the brink for him to leave her like he did, he would have known leaving her, meant certain death, if not immediately but almost certainly in the future. She just can’t imagine that George would leave her to die with no back-up plan. Looking at the calendar she’s not sure what day it is, but reckons it’s been about six weeks since George and the others left, he was always meticulous at checking the days off the calendar and the last day crossed off was 6 weeks ago. Sarah knows that George will do everything he can to survive and makes a pledge to herself to survive and find out why he left her to die.

  Chapter 21.

  3 Months living alone in Borg.

  It’s been three months since Sarah found herself alone in Borg, and she’s going stir crazy, at first it was nice being alone, having to answer to no one, but she’s beginning to wonder what the point is? Today has been three months since she last took a drink, the open bottle of vodka is still in the fridge, she’s not ready to completely get rid of it, but so far, she has resisted the urge to take any. Ripping open the foil packet of rolled oats, tipping it into a bowl for breakfast, she notices a lump of her hair as it falls on the table in front of her. Lifting the hair of the table to examine it, she runs her hands through her long chestnut brown hair, as a large clump falls on the floor. Panicking she runs to the bathroom to check in the mirror, gasping she steps back unable to look at herself. She touches her head, finding a large bald spot as more of her long hair falls onto the floor. She’d noticed her hair thinning over the past couple of weeks, but this is drastic, if this carries on, she will be completely bald by the end of the day.

  ‘It must be the radiation, what else could it be?’ she thought, not knowing what to do?

  Walking back into the kitchen, she grabs scissors out of the drawer and returns to the bathroom, cutting the hair she has as short as she can get it. Stepping back, she runs her hands over her almost bald head bar a few remaining short strands of hair. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she wonders what else the radiation has done to her that she can’t yet see. She doesn’t know how long the water was contaminated before being cut off, and goodness knows how long there’s been radiation in the falling snow. Realising there’s nothing she can do, but continue to survive, she goes back to finish her breakfast. Sipping her coffee made with bottled water she begins thinking about George wondering what he would do, if he were here? It suddenly dawns on her that she may be able to contact George in the bunker. Pushing the chair back with a scrape, she hurries down the hall to the spare bedroom where she is storing all her supplies. Pulling a radio out, that she hasn’t looked at until now from her survival kit. George put the bunkers radio station location on a sticker on the back when they first arrived, Sarah places new batteries in before turning the dial until she has the station.

  ‘Come in. Over!’ she said, listening for a reply.

  There’s a lot of static but no reply, she decides to try again tomorrow at the same time, and every day until she gets a reply.

  It’s been a week and Sarah has been trying the radio every day but there’s been no answer, it’s strange, she’s certain George would be monitoring the radio and if he wasn’t able, he would have someone else monitoring. Maybe the station is wrong or has been changed, turning the dial to the next station, Sarah tries again,

  ‘Come in. Over!’ she said, waiting.

  She almost jumps out of her skin when she hears,

  ‘Come in. Over!’

  Sarah can’t believe it; it’s been so long since she actually heard another voice; she almost forgets why she is calling.

  ‘Can I speak to George?’ she said,

  ‘Which George? Over!’ comes the reply.

  Sarah is confused; sh
e must have the wrong station; there would only be, her George in Blackcliff Island.

  ‘Is this Blackcliff Island? Over!’

  ‘No, this is Borg bunker. Over.’

  It must be the people’s shelter; perhaps I can get in?

  ‘Is this the people’s shelter in Borg? Over!’

  ‘No this is not the people’s shelter, identify yourself? Over.’

  Sarah realises that it must be the government bunker that she has reached.

  ‘This is Sarah Thompson; I want to speak to Magnus. Over.’

  ‘Okay, stay close I will get him and call you back. Over.’

  ‘Copy that. Over and out.’

  She never expected to get through to the government bunker and doesn’t know what she would say to Magnus when he calls. It doesn’t take long before a call comes through.

  ‘Come in. Over.’

  ‘Hello Magnus, it’s Sarah. Over.’

  ‘Sarah, I’m glad you’re okay. Over.’

  ‘No thanks to you. I know what you did, Magnus. Over.’

  The radio goes quiet, and she thinks Magnus isn’t going to answer. But then she hears.

  ‘I’m sorry. I did try to get out for you, but it was too late. Over.’

  ‘Do you know if George is okay? Over.’

  ‘Yes, but he thinks you are dead. Over.’

  ‘Do you have a radio contact? Over.’

  ‘Yes, it’s FM 98.8.’

  ‘Copy that. Over and out.’

  Sarah doesn’t know how she feels after what she’s just heard, does George believe she is dead because he left her to die or did Magnus lead George to believe that she had died after he had left.

  Her hands are shaking, and her mouth is dry, she desperately wants a drink, maybe she should have just one glass to calm her nerves before calling the island. She doesn’t want to hear that George intentionally left her here to die alone. Standing up she walks down the hall to the kitchen and opens the fridge, she moved the vodka to the highest shelf to reduce temptation, lifting it down, she begins sweating as she stares at it. Sarah sits at the breakfast bar staring at the vodka, her hands trembling, she feels as if her body doesn’t just want the vodka but needs it. She doesn’t want it; she knows if she takes just one drop, she won’t be able to stop herself from finishing the bottle. Sweat runs down her back, her face is clammy, she grabs the bottle holding it tight, she doesn’t want to do this, but she can’t stop, her body needs the vodka. Standing up she shoves the vodka across the breakfast bar away from her and begins pacing back and forth across the living room. Why shouldn’t she drink, it’s not as if she can annoy anyone here? But she wants to get back to George to show him, that she’s changed, and to watch his face when she tells him that she knows what he has done. No, she mustn’t drink, she must make George and Magnus pay for what they have done to her.

  Chapter 22.

  Blackcliff Island.

  George follows Seamus back to the bunker where he’s told Magnus is waiting to speak to him on the radio.

  ‘I’m telling you George something is up; Magnus is in a right tizz,’ Seamus said, as the two men make their way down to the communications area.

  The group are still living in the bunker, but since the men got back a week ago announcing that the island wasn’t contaminated, they have been leaving at regular intervals. Everyone is aware that they must be careful, but it’s been good for moral to get some natural daylight.

  The radio is lit up when George and Seamus get down there. George lifts the receiver and said,

  ‘Come in. Over.’

  ‘George is that you? Over!’ Magnus’s panicked voice radios through.

  ‘Yes, I’m here, Magnus, go ahead. Over.’

  ‘Thank goodness. I need to tell you that Sarah is alive. I spoke to her earlier today. Over.’

  Georges world comes crashing down, he can’t believe what he has heard and can’t speak. Seamus lifts the receiver and said, ‘Can you repeat? Over.’

  ‘Sarah is alive, she’s not in the shelter but in the house. Over.’

  ‘Copy that, over and out!’ Seamus replies, before switching the radio off.

  ‘Holy fuck George, Sarah’s alive, we have to contact her.’

  Seamus paces back and forth across the room,

  ‘George, say something, you’re freaking me out, this is good news! Sarah’s alive,’ Seamus said, watching George holding his head in his hands. ‘What’s wrong with you, man? Your wife is alive and you’re acting like you’ve just been told she’s dead.’

  ‘She knows what I did, that I left her there to die,’ George finally said, looking up at Seamus, his face etched with pain.

  ‘But you have a chance to make things right, we can bring her here and you can make your lives again, come on we have to tell the others,’ Seamus said, pulling George to his feet. ‘Seriously George, you’re the weirdest son of a bitch I’ve ever met. I thought you would be happy your wife is alive, but you look like you’re going to go and hang yourself.’

  ‘I genuinely thought she wanted to die, that was why she wouldn’t come with me. But if she is alive, it means she is actively fighting to stay alive; She is staying away from areas where she may become contaminated,’ George said, ‘What if she can’t forgive me?’

  ‘Mate, you just have to face the music, there’s nothing else for it, we have to make contact and bring her here.’

  The two men step out onto the windy cliff edge. Peering over the side George steps back ready to jump, but before he gets chance Seamus grabs his arm and pulls him down the narrow pathway towards the beach. ‘No jumping for you George, not on my watch anyway,’ Seamus said, confused by George’s demeanour, he thought his friend would be happy. Seamus continues to hold Georges arm until they are a safe distance from the edge. ‘What the fuck George, you’d rather die than face Sarah, why?’

  ‘I’m ashamed, I was prepared to let her die, rather than fight for her, I thought she would be too much hassle in the bunker,’ George said, unable to meet Seamus’s gaze.

  ‘You’re one cold hearted mother fucker, that’s for sure, but she was that out of her tree most of the time. I doubt she remembers much, anyway.’

  ‘I suppose.’

  ‘Seriously though, throwing yourself off the cliff isn’t going to help anyone, you’re needed here. We need a leader and that’s you, people look to you for advice, even when we were across the water, it was you who we looked too for advice, in Iceland Magnus turned to you. You are a leader George and we need you, if any of us are going to stand any chance of surviving this fucking disaster.’

  ‘Okay, thanks for stopping me… You know,’ George said, tilting his head towards the cliff.

  ‘No worries, now let’s find Connor and tell him what’s happened.’

  Connor and Niamh are on the beach sanding long planks of wood.

  ‘Hey up, you should be proud of this one, Seamus, she’s a great worker,’ Connor calls.

  ‘Takes after her dad,’ Seamus said, smiling, ‘Niamh, can you give us a minute, I need to talk to Connor about something.’

  ‘Sure, I need a break anyway,’ Niamh said, heading off towards the sea.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Connor said, worry etched across his face as he looks from George to Seamus and back again.