Left For Dead (The Guarded Secrets Series Book 3)

by Sara Schoen

  “How was I supposed to know you’d make it out so easily?” he questioned, laughter clear in his words. I didn’t mean for it to come across malicious, but he had been giving “criticism” to everyone on the team since the Cardoza job, mostly to Camo and I, so it only seemed fair that I return the favor now that we were on better terms. I had wanted to make sure he knew it wasn’t malicious, but returning the favor. “I was mostly annoyed that Demon actually left you behind. Since when does he do that?”

  “Thanks for throwing me under the bus,” Demon joked as he joined us in one of the many lounges in the agency’s building. We spent a lot of time in here between missions and training to talk to everyone in our team, even Raider when he decided to be friendly. Demon took a seat next to Spit Fire, who seemed surprised by his presence, on the couch before turning his full attention on us. “I didn’t deserve that.”

  “She’s giving me a hard time about trying to save her this time,” Renegade pointed out. “If I hadn’t come then I would have had to hear about it either way. I don’t deserve it either!”

  Demon laughed and continued the conversation with Renegade as I glanced around the room. There were enough seats in the room for everyone I worked closely with to join us, but Rum remained with the director of the FBI until Spit Fire came to take over, which would be later on today. We were filling her in on what happened in Russia after she left, and hoping she’d fill us in on what happened while she was hunting for those who had been in contact with Camden. So far she hadn’t said much except that we didn’t have to worry about Camden anymore. It was only the four of us in the room, Raider thankfully hadn’t come, and apparently socializing with friends was too beneath him so he hadn’t graced us with his presence, and Camo hadn’t returned from her mission yet, and I doubted she would want to any time soon. According to her, she was living a life-long dream. I knew she had wanted to be a model when she was younger, but eventually she’d have to give it up and rejoin the agency. We had other missions to do, and while we didn’t want to leave some, inevitably we had to move onto the next.

  Renegade lightly nudged me with his elbow, pulling me back to the conversation at hand. “You can’t ignore me forever,” he said with a playful, boyish smile.

  “Why not?” I asked jokingly.

  “Come on, Sara. Lighten up. He’s been beating himself up about it enough, and Volodya did a good enough job doing it too.” Demon pointed out the bruises on Renegade’s face, and forcing me to remember just how poor we both looked after fighting our way out of the compound. Most had started to heal by now and appeared more yellow than the dark purple they had been after the fight, but the cuts on his face still looked pretty bad. They’d most likely turn to scars in a few weeks. Though what stuck with me was that Demon had used my real name. Ever since I had been recruited, he called me Night Stripe. He so rarely used my real name. I hadn’t heard him say my real name in what felt like years.

  “Only my family still calls me that,” I said with a whimsical tone and a soft smile. “It’s nice to hear it sometimes.” Both men smiled at me as they gave me a moment. I had been able to see my family again thanks to Renegade, and I could see them once a month with another agent to accompany me. I had a feeling that it would be Renegade, especially as he came to terms with forgiving me for lying and killing Ash, but on the off chance he couldn’t come I’d take Demon, or Camo whenever she came back. I had feeling that if I asked Spit Fire that she would flat out refuse. It seemed that family is a rough topic for her because whenever someone brought it up she seemed angry.

  I glanced at her to see a resonating anger flow around her. Her eyes were locked in the distance, hand balled into tight fists, and her jaw clenched tightly. Maybe I shouldn’t have brought up my family, it definitely seemed like a sensitive topic to Spit Fire.

  Renegade, who must have noticed me staring at Spit Fire and noticed her rigid posture, pushed the conversation in a different direction. Maybe he hoped that it would alleviate the tension that had set in around the room. “So while we’re on the topic of names, I’m curious why did you pick Demon as your code name? Isn’t that too close to your real name, Damon? Didn’t that get confusing?” he asked, gesturing to me with the hand that wasn’t lightly resting on my shoulder.

  Demon smiled momentarily, laughing to himself. “That’s the point. It is close to Damon, and it’s what my mom used to call me when I caused trouble. For some reason it just stuck with me growing up.” He cast me a mischievous smile.

  I knew his mom called him that every time he did something, or pretended to act innocent. She adored him; he just liked to make trouble.

  “You know, Renegade, agents are chosen because most of them had a reason to leave their lives. No one would leave a life they considered perfect. You and Night Stripe lost your families, and no one else has your skills, which made you both a prime choice for the role as an agent. Some who have skills turn down the offer because they like their life. Others, like Night Stripe and myself, see the potential in what we can do. So we take a name that reminds us of why we left, why we gave up everything that could have been to give it to someone else. I took my name for my mother.” He paused momentarily, and Renegade and I allowed him a moment to collect himself. “Maybe one day I’ll see her, but I know that if I go and she hears that Demon died, she’ll think of me. She’ll know deep down that I gave my life for something better. That’s why it’s so close.”

  “That was pretty touching,” Renegade said, breaking the silence that had fallen around us after Demon’s explanation. “You should have become a writer. You could sell that and make bank.” He laughed, and Demon seemed relieved by the transition. It was hard to discuss our families, the lives we left behind, and who we left behind. The topic rarely came up, and when it did, it was fleeting.

  “You could ask Night Stripe a similar question,” Demon suggested.

  “Let’s not,” I interjected. I had discussed my family enough for the day. Like I said, it’s hard to think about them. How they are moving on with their lives without me, and how I won’t fully be a part of their lives again. “I’m just glad they’re safe now since Spit Fire took care of Camden,” I said, nodding my head to Spit Fire, who didn’t react. I doubted she was mourning Camden’s death, but for some reason she had been in an odd mood since she returned. I had hoped it would lift while we talked, but it seemed to have gotten worse. She wouldn’t talk about anything, and I worried about her.

  “I’m glad he’s dead,” Renegade stated. “He shouldn’t have been given the opportunity to tell our secrets. Who knows who else he told, or what he told them?”

  Demon shrugged. “We had rules. They’ve been modified, but there’s not much we can do about it now except roll with the punches. We got some good information out of him anyway, so that’s all that matters.” He turned to Spit Fire, a sign that he wanted her to take over and tell us what she knew. She had already briefed him and Sharp Shooter, but the rest of us were still in the dark about what she learned while interrogating Camden.

  Spit Fire glanced at him and shrugged, not willing to discuss what happened.

  “Fine,” Demon stated, turning back to Renegade and I. “We learned that Katya was targeted because her father wanted her dead without him lifting a finger. It would look bad if he killed his own family if anyone found out outside of the cartel. So he asked Camden to recommend someone in order to avoid word getting around somehow. That’s why her file was in Ash’s office, but when Ash died he had to handle it himself.”

  Disappointment washed over me. Was that it? He made it seem as if there was more, and Spit Fire’s demeanor made it seem as if something tragic had occurred. “Is that it?” I asked. “We didn’t find out anything else about Ash or why he targeted the people he did?”

  Demon glanced down to the floor momentarily before casting me a sorrowful smile. “No, we still have no idea why either of your parents were really taken out or who ordered the hit,” Demon said, pausing to see our reactio
ns. Mine was nothing short of anger, while Renegade seemed to take the news rather easily. “Since all of Ash’s men are gone we may never know. I’m sorry, Night Stripe. I know you wanted more answers, and I know you don’t fully believe Ash’s story about why he killed your family, but I’m sure it’s partly true. From what I can find, it did seem personal. I’m not sure who called the hit that got his attention, but you have to come to terms with the fact that you may never know.”

  I bit my tongue to stop myself from saying that I couldn’t. I wanted to know, I needed to know, but he’s right. There wasn’t a way to find out. We had gotten rid of all of Ash’s men, and while Ash had kept immaculate files, there wasn’t information on who ordered the hit or why. It didn’t seem possible that I’d ever find out why any of this happened.

  “It will be okay, Night Stripe,” Renegade whispered to me, sensing my annoyance and anger. If anyone should be angry, it’s him. I had a few answers, but he had nothing. I never planned to actually meet him so I burned the file and the other copies had been destroyed; I made sure of it. I may not have all the answers, but I had some, and that was better than nothing.

  I took a deep breath to calm myself. “You’re right, Demon. I’ll learn to move on. It will be easier once I’m out of the cartel side of it. I have a meeting with Sharp Shooter tomorrow to discuss it, and how my leadership went in the last mission, but I’m so ready to get out of the cartel business. What about you, Spit Fire?” I asked curiously, attempting to once again pull Spit Fire into the conversation. Though once her glare turned to me, I wished that I hadn’t.

  “I won’t be done with them until they are wiped out for good,” she growled as she got up and walked out of the room.

  “Way to go, Night Stripe,” Demon chastised once he believed Spit Fire was out of earshot.

  “I didn’t even say anything offensive!” I cried. “I was just trying to include her. She’s been reclusive and pissed off since she came back. I just want to know what’s wrong.”

  Renegade pulled me a little closer and nudged me until I turned to look him in the eye. “Spit Fire will tell them when she’s ready. She clearly just has a lot on her mind and isn’t ready to talk about it yet. Give her some time, and maybe she will open up about it. There’s no need to push her.”

  I reluctantly relented as Renegade and Demon continued to converse. I zoned in and out as they talked about upcoming and current missions. I couldn’t stop thinking about Spit Fire, even when Renegade slipped his hand into mine. I knew he would keep his promise and stand by me just like everyone else who had been in this room, or would have been if they weren’t on missions. These agents were my new family, and I knew they’d never abandon me. That’s why I couldn’t abandon Spit Fire in her time of need. Whether she wanted to talk about it or not, something was clearly bothering her and consuming her thoughts and actions. She needed someone to talk to besides herself or whatever was bothering her would fully consume her. She’d become obsessed with it as I had with Ash when I first joined. It was only a matter of time. I just hoped we could help her before it was too late—if it wasn’t too late already.

  Epilogue

  Two Months Later

  The plane finally touched down in Gorod, Russia after a fourteen hour flight, and it couldn’t have come at a better time. Tension had risen when Demon and Seeker had started arguing over what could have happened in Gorod and its surrounding areas after Katya and Natasha took the reins. Seeker remained the pessimist and Demon seemed optimistic, while I stood in the middle.

  I knew it hadn’t been long enough for Katya to have made any major changes. Change takes time, at times years. It’s rare that any change really occurs right when a new leader takes over, but while we had spent the last few months running operations across the world she had been solidifying her rule.

  She learned from our mistakes and after discussing with her father what she planned to do, she had him killed. Some would have been too kind and let him live, but she knew that he had tried to kill her twice before and she refused to give him another chance to try again. It had to be done, but I don’t think it made it any easier on her; family is still family. The effort proved its worth, however, as her father’s supporters became her own, and those who didn’t met a similar fate under her new laws.

  She wanted to take fewer lives than her father but would kill anyone she had to. She had a vision for her town, the land she now controlled, and with her determination, maybe Russia itself.

  She remained in touch with us as best as we could manage. I kept loose communication with her as did Renegade, but Demon spent most of his limited free time talking to her. They had started a long distance relationship, I’m not sure how it was going but since he had come along I could only assume it was going well.

  “Night Stripe,” a voice called as we entered Gorod. Demon didn’t stop, nor did Seeker, as they went to look for friends they’d made while on the mission here.

  “Hello, Natasha.” I turned to see her brown hair blow into her face as an icy wind took hold of it, but she smiled nonetheless as she closed the distance between us. “How have you been?”

  “I’ve been worse.” The edge in her voice choked me up. I knew she hadn’t been able to leave the house before now. She’s just now getting out and living as a teenager should. “Don’t give me that look, Night Stripe. I’m doing just fine and it will only get better.”

  “I like the optimism,” I said as I laid my hand lightly on her shoulder. “Now let’s go find your sister. I’m sure Demon is impatiently waiting for us to catch up.” I jabbed my thumb over my shoulder in my friends’ directions.

  “I see Demon and Seeker returned as well, but where is Renegade? How come he didn’t come with you?”

  “We felt it was best to leave him at home,” I stated tentatively, almost afraid to even say his name out loud. It hadn’t been nearly long enough for me to forget everyone who had tracked me down and threatened to kill Renegade and I the last time I was here. “I know a few may still be uncomfortable around him since he killed Marco, and he agreed to stay behind willingly this time.”

  “Did you two make up? I know it was a little rough when you left here.”

  “For the most part.” My voice tightened unexpectedly, giving away my lie. When Natasha took notice I gave in and told her the truth. “He’s taking a while to come around, but I know he understands why I had to do it. I knew he would be mad, and I understand why, but he will forgive me eventually. He’s admitted that if he had been in my shoes he would have done the same. It’s just hard for him to really come to terms with it.”

  Natasha cast me a hopeful gaze, seeming to silently pray that I was right as we met up with Demon and Katya across the town square.

  Katya smiled as we approached. When we got close, her arms wrapped around my shoulders before she squeezed me into a tight hug. “It’s good to see you here, out in the open as well. That must be new for you, my little thief,” she quipped.

  “It is, and I’m not a fan of it either.” She laughed as Demon slipped his hand into hers and gave her a look that declared to the world how smitten he was with her. The soft gleam in his eye told me he loved her laugh, smile, and just everything about her. It’s the same look that had finally returned to Renegade’s eyes when he looked at me. That’s how I knew he’d learn to forgive me, he’d want to. “So tell me what’s happened since we were last here. Have you changed much?”

  “Not really. We’re still a mafia, we still do weapons trading, but this time with the right side.” She smiled as I glared her down for trading weapons. “We need to make a living, Night Stripe. Don’t worry, I’m in close contact with Sharp Shooter and a few of the older men while I learn the ropes. There’s no upcoming war, not as much bloodshed, and we are all still a little shaken, but we will heal. We are strong and will survive. So while it’s not much yet, the people are happier and that’s what I enjoy most.”

  “I’m glad to hear that at least,” I said before Demon s
poke in almost perfect Russian to some of the townspeople who had come to talk with Katya, and this time I could follow the conversation. He had been practicing, mostly so he could talk to Katya more, but it’s still an impressive feat to learn a new language. I had all but given up on Russian until Demon begged me to help him practice. If we kept practicing I’d know four languages, but I wouldn’t tell Katya that. I was far from proficient, and preferred English. It made it easier in the long run in case I needed to make a quick decision, translating still took too much time.

  I turned back to Natasha while Katya and Demon were busy. “So what do you do with your newfound freedom?”

  Natasha laughed. “About the same things I did while in my room at home. I draw, waste time on the Internet, and sometimes I write. Now I just get to venture out more and speak to more people. I’m Katya’s second in command, so I have a few other duties as well.”

  “Do I even want to know what she has you doing?” She gave me a mischievous grin, which told me I didn’t want to know. Even if she’s just joking with me, sometimes ignorance is bliss, especially with the Russian mafia. “Have you two worked everything out?”

  “For the most part.” Her reply was curt, and I thought that would be the end of it until she elaborated. “We talk more. She’s a lot like the sister I remember growing up with and now we are a lot closer.”

  “Do you know what plans your sister has coming in the next few months?”

  “I think I’m the person to ask about that,” Katya replied, rejoining us. “Come on, we can talk inside our new home. I wanted to be closer to the town and its people. We also didn’t want to live in our old house. Memories,” she explained as she led us inside a cozy house. It wasn’t bare like the hideouts we had in town, but upon closer inspection it was the first hideout we had taken her to.