Padraig

by Mia Malone

  “Hey,” he murmured.

  “Hey.”

  “Not doing that again in a really fucking long time, Jen,” he told her. “If you need some goddamned alone time, then you can have as much of it as you want, but you're sleeping next to me when you're done.”

  “But –”

  “No.”

  “What?”

  “No.”

  “No, what?”

  “No, we’re not gonna fucking discuss this. I spent thirty minutes staring at a stupid smiley when I could have spent that time with you. We could have been sleeping, or fucking, or talking or whatever the hell. So, we’re not discussing this and tonight you’ll be at my house, or I’ll be at your place, and either way, we’re sleeping together.”

  “I tried to give you some space,” she murmured.

  “Did I ask for space?”

  “No.”

  “Did you want space?”

  “Not really.”

  “Your place or mine tonight?”

  “Yours,” she said immediately.

  “Okay,” he muttered. “I’ll cook.”

  She stared at him, and then her eyes slowly lite up with humor.

  “You spent thirty minutes staring at your phone?”

  “Couldn’t fucking sleep,” he muttered.

  The knot in his belly loosened when she giggled, and he started walking toward her. She backed away, but she did it laughing, and then he pressed her up against the wall and lowered his head. His phone started ringing, but he ignored it and kept kissing her. When it rang the third time, he raised his head.

  “I should probably get that,” he said.

  “I should probably take care of my restaurant,” she retorted.

  “My place tonight.”

  Then he walked away before he blurted out something stupid, like how much he loved her and how she was going to start the evening by unpacking her goddamned bag. He was met by a group of people who were grinning, which he largely ignored and focused on Annie.

  “You’re at Cal’s tonight,” he murmured.

  “Okay,” she said.

  “And honey,” he added. “I love you, and I’m proud of you. You know this, right?”

  “I know, Dad.”

  “Good. Now you’re going to promise me to take a huge step back.”

  “What?”

  “I get that you have ideas, but Jenny has run this place for the better part of thirty years, and she grew up with her grandmother’s experience forged into her backbone.”

  “I know, Dad, but –”

  “She looks tired, Annie.”

  That cut off her protest immediately.

  “You’re working here so she’d be less tired. Not so you could exhaust her to the point where you start fighting about stupid shit like kale.”

  “Okay, Dad,” she murmured. “I hear what you’re saying.”

  “Okay.”

  “Do you want me to make something for you to eat tonight?”

  “That would not go unappreciated, honey.”

  She smiled at him, and he sighed, which turned into another frown when Gibson started chuckling.

  “What?”

  “Are you growing up, Padraig?” Gib asked teasingly.

  “Fuck you,” he muttered, grabbed what was left of his BLT and walked away to see who the hell had been calling him repeatedly.

  While waiting for Doug to pick up, he shoved the rest of his lunch in his mouth and wondered if looking out for Jenny meant he was an adult, and if that was the case, why he always felt like a goddamned teenager when he was with her.

  “Hey, Paddy,” Doug said. “Got news on the man you’re looking for. He crossed into our parts yesterday, my guys have a lock on him. He’s heading straight for Wilhelmine.”

  ***

  Jenny

  The quiet evening with Paddy was swiftly changed into an evening of waiting in Paddy’s house together with Annie and Lee. According to Doug’s men, the douche-ex of Annie’s was heading for Wilhelmine and would most likely aim straight for her father’s house. Paddy and Gibson decided that it would be better if they caught him trespassing, so in case he asked around, we told just about everyone I’d be with Lee in her home and Paddy would be with his friends at Mac’s place. Annie would spend a quiet evening at home, alone.

  We played poker while we waited, and Lee surprised us by beating the crap out of both Annie and me.

  “One of my cousins in Florida taught me,” she shared. “When they don’t play golf, they play poker.”

  “We should play strip poker with the guys,” I murmured. Annie started coughing, and I turned in surprise. “Honey, surely you realize I’ve seen most of them in various state of undress?”

  “I get that you and dad –”

  “I used to spy on them,” I told them. “When they were skinny dipping.”

  “Really?” Lee giggled.

  “How did you think I knew about the size of Gib’s –” I cut myself off and glanced at Annie. “Muscles?” I finished lamely.

  They started laughing, and I wiggled my brows. I certainly wasn’t going to share what I'd seen with Annie, so I was going to make a joke about it when a commotion outside stopped me, and then the lights on the back porch were suddenly lit. A small man was standing on the lawn, surrounded by Paddy and the others. Doug and a few of his men stood at the edge of the yard, watching.

  “This is private property,” Paddy said calmly.

  “I was invited,” the man said. “My girlfriend lives here.”

  I stared at him and wondered if he really was that crazy.

  “I can't believe him,” Annie muttered and moved toward the back door before I could stop her. “I was never your girlfriend,” she yelled as the opened the door. “And you can go to hell.”

  “I just want to talk to you,” he said.

  Annie glanced at Cal who was moving restlessly and took a step forward. I put a hand on her shoulder, both to give her my support and to hold her back. The man looked angrily at her and clenched his fists.

  “There’s no need for you to look at him,” he growled. “You’re mine so your eyes should be on me.”

  My blood froze, and I stopped breathing for a second. Martin had said those exact words to me so many times over the years. It had invariably ended with him putting his fists on my ribs, in my belly or on my thighs. Always where it wouldn't show, and always in a way that hurt.

  “Don’t be so difficult,” the man in front of us whined, and I lost it.

  I flew down the steps and ran right into him, tackling him with everything I had in me. We ended up on the ground, and I heard feet moving around us, but I was lost in the moment and ignored them. He'd stumbled and ended up on his back with me on top, and I straddled the man who had hurt my girl. Annie had been crying uncontrollably in the shower, and I'd had to watch her hesitate before putting her soaped up hand between her legs to wash him away. I'd held her, but I'd had to be careful because her ribs had been bruised, just like mine had been all those years ago.

  “You do not hit someone you love,” I roared in his face and slapped him. “Fuck you,” I hissed and slapped him again. “Does it make you feel good?” I asked and did not wait for an answer. “Does it make you feel strong to put your hands on her? Hit her in the ribs? Kicking her legs? Hitting her in the belly where you know there won’t be bruises?”

  I made a fist and shoved it straight into his face.

  “She can look at whoever she wants,” I roared. “Fuck you!”

  Strong arms pulled me away, and I heard my brother murmur in my ear, but I fought him.

  “I want to kill him,” I snarled.

  “I know, Sis,” Joke murmured. “Calm down now. Paddy and Cal will handle him.”

  I turned and shoved my face into his chest.

  “He hurt her,” I whispered.

  “I know,” he said. “Go inside now, Jenny. Annie and Lee will go with you, and we'll handle him.”

  I straightened, and my eyes
met Paddy’s. His face was hard, but his eyes were full of pain.

  “Jenny?” he said hoarsely, and it was a question, but it also wasn’t.

  It was clear on his face he’d seen my anger for what it was.

  “I'll be inside,” I said. “If you kill him, I'll help you dig the grave.”

  The man on the ground whimpered, but I didn’t even look at him. Then I walked inside, followed by the girl I’d helped raising and a woman I’d come to rely on whenever life got complicated.

  “I should have known,” Lee murmured and put her arms around me as Annie closed the door behind us. “I’m so sorry sweetie, I should have known it would come back to you.”

  “I’m okay,” I said, but I wasn’t, and my knees felt a little wobbly.

  “Jenny?” Annie asked quietly, and I sucked in a breath.

  I wasn’t okay, but I had to be because this wasn’t about me. It was about Annie.

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” I said.

  “Okay,” she murmured. “Promise you’ll talk to dad later?”

  “Yeah,” I sighed.

  Then we turned and watched through the windows how the men took turns beating up the man who had harassed Annie for almost two years.

  ***

  Padraig

  Paddy pushed back all thoughts about Jenny and focused on the man on the ground in front of him. He was bruised and bloody, and when Gibson crouched down next to him, he tried to crawl away.

  “Only a weak man hurts women,” Gibson said. “You hurt my family, and if I ever see you again, I will not hold back like I did today. Go back to New York, and don't ever come here again.”

  Joke leaned over him, and spat in his face, but didn’t say a word. Day kicked him once more in the ribs but remained silent too.

  Mac leaned forward a little and growled, “If you ever cross the county line again, I’ll hunt you down, and you’d better hope I find you because if I don’t…” He paused and twitched his head toward Gibson and Paddy. “They will.”

  The man tried to crawl away, but Paddy stopped him with his foot.

  “He’s right. I’m her father, and you do not want me to find you here again.”

  “I’ll leave,” the man whispered.

  Cal crouched down just like Gibson had, and leaned in close. Paddy could only see the back of Cal’s head, but he heard his low, hoarse voice.

  “I’m her man, and I will kill you if I ever lay eyes on you again.”

  A dark patch suddenly spread in the man’s crotch.

  “Ah, man,” Cal said and got up. “That’s fucking disgusting. Just get out of here.”

  They watched him limp away and then a car started up. Doug nodded, made a gesture with his hand and they disappeared. Paddy knew they’d escort the man out of Wilhelmine county, and probably quite a bit further.

  Cal turned abruptly and walked inside. Annie met him at the door and said something which made him smile softly.

  “You okay?” Gibson asked.

  “Yeah,” Paddy answered, but walked toward the house to take his daughter in his arms.

  “Are you okay?” she asked too, and he wondered what he looked like since they obviously worried about him.

  “Of course,” he said and hoped his smile was reassuring.

  “You should talk to Jenny,” she whispered. “She doesn’t want to talk about what happened, but I made her promise she’d talk to you.”

  He leaned back to look at her, and she smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile. Then she got up on her toes and put her mouth close to his ear.

  “I was too young to understand, but she used to have bruises. I saw them sometimes when she reached for things. I didn’t understand until later, and he was gone by then.”

  He sighed and bit his teeth together, leaned on his daughter for a second, but straightened. He’d known what had happened in Jenny’s marriage when he saw her reaction to the man who abused his daughter but hearing his daughter confirm it still hurt like hot fire in his gut.

  “Okay,” he murmured and turned to Joke. “I need to talk to Jenny,” he said and watched Joke's face grow hard. “You want to be there with me?”

  Joke sighed and shook his head once.

  “It’ll be easier for her if I’m not there. I’ll talk to her later.”

  “Buddy,” Gibson rumbled, but Joke shook his head again.

  “This isn’t about me,” he said. “Easier for her with just Paddy.”

  Something passed between them that Paddy didn’t understand, but he didn’t ask.

  “Can you clear everyone out of here, give us some space?” he asked, waited until Joke nodded and walked inside, hoping he’d be able to handle what he knew he’d hear from Jenny.

  Lee met him at the door, and she gave his arm a small squeeze but didn't say a word.

  “You let that weasel leave,” Jenny said calmly.

  “He won’t be back,” Paddy said. “Jenny –”

  “Where did everyone go?” she asked and looked over his shoulder at what he assumed was his empty backyard.

  “Jenny, talk to me,” he murmured and took a few steps toward her.

  She turned away and shrugged.

  “I don’t know what to say,” she whispered.

  “Can I hold you?” he asked quietly.

  “No.”

  “Why?”

  “You know why.”

  He did not in any way know why and wasn’t sure what to do.

  “Can I have some wine?” she asked.

  “You said it took a long time to get over Martin and I thought it was because you loved him, but it wasn’t, was it?” he asked, hoping he could get her to start talking.

  She remained silent, and he closed his eyes and made himself ask even though he wasn’t sure how to handle the answer he knew he’d get.

  “Did he hit you, Jenny?”

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  He opened his eyes and watched her silently, focusing on breathing and fighting the urge to put his fist through the wall.

  “That’s why you went away when you split up?”

  “Bruised eye and a split lip,” she said with a sigh. “Joke would have killed him so I –”

  “Joke?” he snapped. “I would have killed him before Joke even got his hands out of his pockets.” Her eyes widened, and he forced himself to calm down. “When did it start?”

  She didn’t answer and just watched him calmly.

  “Jenny, please,” he rasped out. “This is killing me. Can I please hold you?”

  She didn't answer, and he decided to take it as consent and moved toward her. She stepped into his arms, and he held her tight to his chest.

  “Aren’t you going to ask me why I stayed with him so long?” she whispered.

  “Oh, baby-girl,” he murmured into her hair. “I know why you stayed. You didn’t want to be alone. You wanted a family.” He suddenly realized what Joke had been saying outside, and added quietly, “And you grew up with someone who did shit like that to you.”

  “I didn't,” she protested but went on when he gave her a squeeze, “Not to me, but I grew up with someone who did shit like that to my brother.”

  “When did it start?” Paddy asked again.

  “Wedding night,” she answered quietly, and he had to clamp his jaws shut to keep a roar from slipping out. “It had been a long day, and I was tired. He wasn't too happy when I suggested we'd wait until the morning after with… you know.”

  “He raped you on your wedding night?” Paddy whispered and tried to move back to look at her, but she held on and buried her face in his shirt.

  “It wasn’t rape.” she protested.

  She’d told her husband she didn’t want to have sex and they’d had it. That was rape as far as Paddy was concerned, but he didn’t argue with her.

  “Okay,” he said. “Come sit with me on the couch and tell me.”

  “Not much to tell,” she said with a sigh.

  “Tell me anyway,” he cajoled. “I ne
ed to know, and you need to tell me.”

  He held on to his control while she told him about her marriage, and how she never managed to figure out what triggered her husband. There could be weeks without any incidents, and then several days with punches or kicks. She told him about not wearing shorts in the summer, about recovering in a small motel, three hours away from Wilhelmine, and how she’d started running to clear her head.

  “Did you tell Corinne?” he asked, hoping his sister had helped her.

  “Of course I didn’t,” Jenny said with a small smile. “She would have told Mac immediately.”

  Shit. She would have.

  “Who did you talk to?” he asked slowly, suspecting that he knew the answer but unable to believe it.

  “Lee,” she replied.

  Yes. That had been the answer he expected, and hearing how lonely she’d been over the years made his throat close up.

  “Lee has been here for a few months only.”

  “Yeah,” she said. “I handled it, Paddy. It took a while, and I know Joke worried, but I worked through shit on my own. After that, it seemed useless to talk to anyone about it. And then I met Lee, and she didn't have any of our history, so I just told her. She put her hand briefly on mine, muttered that Martin sounded like a shitgibbon, and then we moved on to talk about other things.”

  “What?”

  “We’ve talked about it again a few times since then, but I think that first time was when it finally hit me. He’s nothing to me, Paddy. She didn’t dignify him with much airtime because he didn’t deserve it, and it must have been clear to her I didn’t want to talk about it. Not because it hurts, though. It was a long time ago, and it doesn’t hurt anymore. But he’s nothing to me. Absolutely nothing.”

  “It came up today.”

  “Yes,” she sighed. “I don’t know what happened. That weasel said some things that were just what Martin used to say, and I just… I don't know. But yes, it came up today. Did the others guess?”

  He nodded and watched her close her eyes.

  “Joke too?” she asked.

  “Yeah, baby-girl. You’ll have to talk to him.”

  “Crap,” she whispered. “I tried so hard to hide it from him. Our father isn’t a good man, and Joke got enough of that shit as a kid. He tried to shield me, from dad but also from boys he thought would treat me that way. I didn’t want him to know.”