Studying Boys

by Stephanie Rowe

  I took the notice and read it. "School newspaper?"

  "Sure. You'd get to hang with the boys from Field School, but you'd also have to write lots of articles. Develop your writing and research skills. Learn how a paper runs. That's small-business skills right there. Your parents would be thrilled."

  "Huh." I read the posting again. They were looking for staff writers. Maybe I could get assignments and not have to go to the meetings. Probably only the editors had to go to meetings. Not that I was afraid of going to meetings with a group of people I didn't know or anything. It was just that I had homework to do. "The meeting is actually not too far from my house."

  "Walking distance," Allie agreed. "I think it's fate."

  "I'll think about it." Who was I kidding? I wasn't going to go. I mean, it might be kinda cool to go and meet some other kids and stuff, but I wasn't the social type. I wouldn't know how to do it even if my parents let me.

  "I'll walk you." Allie tucked her arm through mine. "We'll swing by my house and get you some sexy clothes to wear and then I'll walk you over there."

  Oh, no. No, no, no. There was no chance I was going to wear Allie's clothes. I'd be so embarrassed I'd never come out of the bathroom. "First of all, I'm not wearing sexy clothes. Second, why are you going to walk me?"

  "Because if I don't, you'll wimp out."

  "Hah. I'm totally not going to bag it." Of course I was. I had to find a way to ditch her before six o'clock so I could avoid going. If I decided to skip it. I mean, a little part of me actually wanted to go. But the thought of walking into that room… I shook my head. It wasn't my scene. It really wasn't. "You don't need to walk me there."

  "Nonsense. I'll be by your side every minute until I drop you off." Allie gripped my arm tighter, like a psycho who was going to yank me into some dungeon and feed me beets for the rest my life. Great.

  I hate my friends. Have I mentioned that yet?

  * * *

  "So, here it is."

  Natalie, Blue and Allie stopped in front of a small office building, while I lurked behind them.

  "No one's there. Let's leave." I spun on my heel to make a break for freedom.

  Allie grabbed my arm before I could sprint away. "There's a light on in the corner of the second floor. Didn't the directions say to take the elevator to the second floor?"

  "I don't know." God! I couldn't do this! Walk into a room full of people who already knew each other and who would stare at me as if I were a freak? No way. How was this important in my life anyway? I got straight A's. That was probably going to take care of getting me into college.

  "I'm sure it said second floor." Allie started walking toward the building, her talons digging into my arm.

  I was going to have bruises after tonight. Bruises to remind me of the horror my life had become, thanks to my former friends.

  "We'll just go with you to the elevators," Allie said.

  Blue and Natalie fell in behind us, probably ready to grab me if I tried to run away. No problem. I'd get in the elevator and pretend I was going up to the meeting. I'd let the door shut, but not press any buttons. I'd hang out in the elevator for a few minutes, and once they'd gone back to Blue's house, I'd escape. Nothing like having a plan!

  "Fine." I stopped struggling and started walking beside Allie. If I pretended to be willing to do it, they'd be more likely not to hang around and make sure I really went in.

  "You know, Frances, I really think you should have worn some makeup," Allie said. "I mean, you have gorgeous dark eyelashes and stuff, but a little blush wouldn't hurt you."

  "My parents don't let me wear makeup."

  "You can take it off before you get home," Allie said. She glanced over her shoulder. "Either of you bring some mascara or blush?"

  Blue laughed. "Are you kidding? We always use yours. You have the best stuff."

  "Yeah, my mom spends a lot of money on her makeup," Allie agreed.

  Makeup. I couldn't believe they were talking about makeup while I was having a complete breakdown.

  Allie knocked on the door, and a security guard opened it. He was wearing a navy jacket with a little emblem on it, and he looked friendly enough. "Here for the paper?" he asked.

  "Yep," Allie said cheerfully.

  Too bad I hadn't cut out Allie's tongue so she couldn't answer the question.

  "Take the elevator to the second floor." The guard held the door open for us.

  Oh, come on. Why couldn't he let the door slam shut in my face so I broke my nose and had to be rushed off to the hospital? Then I'd have to miss the meeting. It would totally be worth the swollen and bruised face.

  But no, he had to stand there holding it open, as if he were doing us some favor, and he most definitely was not.

  My palms were actually sweating. Nice.

  Blue pushed the elevator button and we waited. I couldn't think of a single thing to say, other than to tell them that they were no longer my friends. Since that would clue them in that I was going to make a break for it after they left, I stayed strategically silent.

  The elevator arrived ... and everyone got in with me! This was all wrong! How was I supposed to escape if they came in with me? "What are you guys doing?"

  "Riding up with you," Natalie said. "For support." She pushed floor number two, and the door started to close.

  I stuck my foot in the door to keep it open. "You guys can't come up with me."

  Natalie raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

  "Because I'll look like a loser if you guys ride up with me. It's like my mom dropping me off."

  Natalie sort of frowned. Excellent.

  Then Allie snorted and yanked me backward so my foot moved out of the doorway. "Don't be a dork. You'll look cool if you show up with friends."

  The doors slid closed, and I felt like I was going to be sick.

  Yes, that was the way to make a grand entrance in front of all those kids. Have the elevator doors open to reveal a vomiting loser being held up by her friends.

  I watched the elevator click to two, wondering how old a person had to be to have a heart attack.

  "Frances." Blue leaned over my shoulder.

  "What?" I stared at the doors, willing them to get stuck closed.

  "Allie made me try out for the play, and I was terrified."

  "So?"

  "So, it worked out. Have faith."

  "Yeah, right." Okay, so maybe I wasn't projecting quite the totally-together attitude I'd been shooting for. Great. Now, everyone at the newspaper would realize I was terrified? That wasn't good! If there was ever a time to be collected and together, it was now, but I was so far from collected it was embarrassing.

  But I had no time to recover. Too late now, as the doors opened to the second-floor lobby. Stupid doors. Hadn't I ordered them to stay closed?

  But no. They'd opened, exposing me to a hallway full of kids. Boys. Girls. Chatting. Laughing. Arms around each other.

  Then they all turned to look at me.

  Oh, God.

  Chapter Two

  Everyone stared at me.

  No one said anything.

  Then everyone started chatting again and ignored me.

  Which was good because I didn't have to talk to anyone.

  Which was bad because I felt like a total loser, standing in front of the elevator in a roomful of kids, none of whom had even acknowledged I was alive. The boys all looked pretty normal, wearing jean and tee shirts. Most of the girls were wearing makeup and cute outfits, and the boys were being plenty friendly to the girls. They all looked like they were having so much fun, and a dull ache formed in my chest as I stood there on the outside, back pressed against the wall.

  I should have worn Allie's revealing outfit and the makeup. Then someone might talk to me, even if it was only a toad who wanted to get a little action. At least then I'd look like I didn't have the plague.

  I shoved my hands in the pockets of my jeans, backed up toward the wall, and just happened to press my elbow on the elevato
r button. I was going to slip out of there and forget it ever happened.

  The elevator didn't come.

  My friends were probably holding it downstairs.

  They were so dead.

  This sucked.

  Someone whistled at the front of the room, and a guy walked in. He was wearing a light blue oxford, brown pants and glasses. He looked serious and boring, and I started to relax a tiny bit. This was my kind of person. He looked like he was pretty old, probably a teacher or something. Not from my school, because I knew all the teachers in my school. Maybe from Field School?

  "Thanks for waiting. Let's go into the conference room and get started." He pointed toward a door to my right, and everyone started filing in there.

  Stupid elevator still hadn't arrived.

  No way was I going in that room.

  Maybe no one would notice that I was in the lobby, and I could lurk out there until my former friends decided to release the elevator. Excellent plan.

  "Hi, you're new." The advisor-teacher dude was standing in front of me. "I'm Mr. Walker. And you are?"

  "Frances," I muttered

  "And you're from North Valley School for Girls?"

  I shifted restlessly, praying for the ding of the elevator. "Yeah."

  "I'm a teacher at The Field School."

  "I figured." So now what? Walk away? Tell him I'm in the wrong place?

  He smiled, and his eyes crinkled a little bit behind his glasses. "A little nervous, huh?"

  "No." I lifted my chin and forced myself to look calm. I can do this. I can do this.

  "Good. Come on in and we'll get you some work." Mr. Walker put his arm around my shoulders and propelled me into the room with all those kids. They were sprawled on chairs, and girls were giggling and making eyes at the boys. "Everyone, this is Frances. She's new, so be friendly."

  I wanted to melt into the carpet. Did that make me sound like a loser or what? The teacher has to tell people to be nice to me? Excellent.

  "Have a seat, Frances," Mr. Walker said.

  Where? All the seats were taken.

  Oh, except the one right in the middle of the room. Front and center.

  Yeah, right.

  Trying not to whimper, I walked over to the wall and sat on the floor, in the corner. I rested my hands on my thighs, but then realized they were shaking so badly that even people on the other side of the room would be able to see. So I shoved my hands under my legs instead. With any luck, I'd be invisible.

  Mr. Walker started talking about the various articles that people had written, and then one boy who was pretty cute said that we needed to do something cool and new with our paper because people were getting bored with it.

  So then everyone started brainstorming ideas and no one noticed me.

  Good.

  I liked it that way.

  I certainly didn't care that I felt like a loser, and I wasn't going to wish people would talk to me. It wasn't as if I'd hoped that someone would think I actually mattered.

  Okay, so I did wish that, sort of. I mean, how could I not? God, I felt like such an outcast. Was this really supposed to be fun? I mean, why would anyone subject themselves to this? I could be at home right now, finishing my homework and being all caught up. Or I could be at Theo's lacrosse game with Blue and her parents.

  But no. I was stuck in some little office with a bunch of kids who didn't care if I existed. I was irrelevant.

  Not a good feeling.

  I took a deep breath and tried to think of something else, since I couldn't exactly sneak out without drawing attention to Loser Frances. I looked around the room and started counting how many kids I was being ignored by.

  Once I looked around, I realized that I recognized some of the girls. Well, obviously I would, since they were all from my school. Great. So that meant on Monday, when I was walking down the hall, they'd point me out to their friends and say, "There's the weirdo girl who sat in the corner all night and didn't say anything." The thought made my stomach hurt.

  "So, Frances? What do you think?"

  I blinked, and realized Mr. Walker and the rest of the people in the room were all staring at me. "What?"

  "Can you write that article?"

  "Um ..."

  "You weren't listening?"

  Okay, for the first time in my life, there was a teacher on my blacklist. Teachers loved me! So what was up with Mr. Walker completely humiliating me in front of everyone? The night was getting worse by the minute. "I was totally listening. Of course I'll write the article."

  "Great. You'll want to set up The Homework Club by early next week, so you can have two months of sessions before the article is due. We'll want to publish it in the May issue."

  The Homework Club? What was he talking about?

  But he was already on another topic.

  I spent the rest of the meeting hating myself for being stupid enough to actually say yes to the article. That meant I was going to have to come back, didn't it?

  This really sucked.

  I had to wait for thirty minutes after the meeting was dismissed for all the kids to stop talking to Mr. Walker so I could go up there and find out what The Homework Club was.

  "Mr. Walker?"

  "Yes, Frances?" He was picking up his papers and looked ready to leave.

  "I'm really not sure what I'm supposed to be doing. I've never been on a paper or anything, and I didn't totally follow the discussion."

  Mr. Walker paused and looked at me. "You want me to start at the top?"

  Gah. He totally knew I hadn't been listening. I always listened to my teachers, and yet I'd dropped the ball tonight. Mr. Walker would think I was some disrespectful student. What if he told my teachers? What if my teachers started thinking there was something wrong with me? I managed my most interested facial expression, and tried my best to appear smart. "Yes, please."

  He set his briefcase back down on the desk. "The group decided that the mission for this semester is to get the school administrations from both schools to agree to let seniors switch school for their last semester."

  Whoa. "You mean girls could go to Field School and boys could go to North Valley?"

  "Yes."

  "Wow. That'll never fly." North Valley was way too into female power and stuff to risk being contaminated by boys in the classroom. "Wait a sec. I'm not supposed to convince the schools to do that, am I?"

  He smiled. "You're in charge of the first step."

  "Which is?" I was really not liking the sound of this assignment.

  "The Homework Club. You organize a study group of boys and girls that meets several times a week. They work together to quiz each other and do whatever it takes to bring everyone's grades up. If everyone's grades improve by the end of the semester, then it's the first step in providing proof that combining academics between the schools could work."

  "No way." Was he kidding? "I'm supposed to organize that?"

  "Yep. And write an article about the success of the program." He patted my shoulder like I was an obedient dog. "Everyone's counting on you. It's important that this project succeeds."

  "I can't do it." I had homework to do. Obligations. No idea where to start. I didn't want the pressure or the responsibility or...

  "You have to." Mr. Walker closed his briefcase. "Everyone else is already so busy with other projects, no one has time to take on this big of an assignment. You're the only one with an open schedule."

  "But..."

  Mr. Walker handed me a card. "Here's my e-mail address. Let me know how it goes and send me a note if you have any questions or want to run things by me. I can help you get a room at Field for studying if you want to do it there."

  "But..."

  "Good luck, Frances. Keep in touch."

  He ushered me toward the elevator, where a few kids were still milling around. One of them, a boy who had blond hair and was pretty tall and sort of cute, smiled at me. "Thanks for doing this, Frances. It would be so cool if we could get this to fly."r />
  Whoa. He knew my name. He spoke to me as if I were alive. I tried to smile back. "Yeah, sure. It'll be fun."

  He nodded and got in the elevator.

  I got in and so did Mr. Walker.

  And I didn't feel like quite as much of a loser. I could ask that guy to come, right? And then I'd know one person.

  The elevator opened on the first floor. "One more thing, Frances," Mr. Walker said.

  "What?"

  "In order to make this legit, you can't use kids from the newspaper, and the ones who join can't know the ultimate goal of getting girls and boys to be able to switch schools. It has to be successful on its own."

  I looked at the boy again, all hope of getting to know him fading into oblivion. "Why?"

  "Because if the kids know the purpose is to generate success for an exchange program, the administration could say they were on their best behavior and it wasn't indicative of the success of a coed program. So you need to make it work on its own."

  So, I had to recruit boys and girls I didn't know? I had to get them to study? I was solely responsible for whether the administration from both schools agreed to an exchange program?

  Excellent.

  Not.

  There was no way I could do this.

  This was all the fault of my ex-friends.

  My friends.

  They'd love the idea. Their dear friend Frances having to recruit boys to study? They'd be all over it. I'd never have their support to bail.

  But I had a secret weapon. My parents. They'd never let me do it.

  Would they?

  * * *

  By the time I made my way home, it was almost ten o'clock. Mom and Dad were just sitting down to dinner, as usual. My dad never got home from work before nine. It gave my mom time to feed all my brothers and sisters and clear them out so she and Dad could have some quality time, whatever that was.

  "Hi." I walked into the kitchen and sat down. I'd just tell them, have them ban me and then all would be good. It wouldn't be my fault, I would have fulfilled the requirements of the "Theo Deal" and my former friends wouldn't be able to tell him I liked him.