No Regrets (Bomar Boys #1)

by Jess Bryant

  Cash growled, “Hold up, I know you don’t think we’re letting you go up there alone, right?”

  “We.” She corrected with a small smile, “We’ll go up and get my stuff and then we’ll be out of here.”

  “Better.” He grumbled.

  She pointed out the guest parking near the door and he flipped a turn, backing into the spot. A Mercedes that had been following behind them honked but Cash flipped them off out the window. Colt grumbled from the backseat about rich people having no manners and she fought a snort at hearing the Bomars talk about etiquette in any capacity. They all piled out of the old truck but Jemma hesitated when the doorman eyed them warily.

  “Hey… um, maybe somebody should stay with the truck.” She fidgeted when two sets of intense blue eyes focused on her, “I don’t want them to tow it just because it looks out of place.”

  Colt hissed something else about fancy bastards and then nodded, “I’ll stay. Cash, go help the girl pack up.”

  “Thanks.” She squeezed his arm before accepting the suitcases he handed over and then heading up the sidewalk and inside the building with Cash close on her heels.

  People stared as they walked through the lobby to the bank of elevators and she fought a laugh when Cash only tensed further. He might have thought they were staring because he looked out of place in his faded jeans and t-shirt to their pressed suits but she knew better. The women literally stopped in their tracks to stare at him, some of them gasped, and she was fairly certain a couple of them drooled.

  Like she could blame them?

  Cash had always looked like a walking, talking sex god to her and today was no exception. His light hair was ruffled and wind-blown from where he’d rolled the windows in the truck down. He hadn’t shaved and the rough, day old stubble on his square jaw gave a dangerous edge to his good looks. In his dust covered boots and faded gray t-shirt, he did look out of place but only because he could have stepped off one of those old-school billboards for bourbon and cigarettes. He was a towering, muscled giant compared to these scrawny businessmen and he was glorious.

  “What’re you grinning about?” He rumbled as they stepped onto the elevator.

  “You.”

  An eyebrow winged up, surprise shining in his eyes, “What about me?”

  “You’re sexy.” Her grin widened when he only blinked, “You are and every woman in that lobby wanted a piece of you.”

  He moved closer to her, his eyes dropping to her mouth, “You think so?”

  “I know so.” She sucked in a breath when he planted his hands on either side of her head and leaned close, a breath that only drew in his musky, masculine scent and made her insides summersault.

  “I didn’t notice but even if I had, it wouldn’t have mattered. I’m taken.”

  She swallowed a moan when he dropped his mouth to her ear, his stubble raking over her sensitive skin and making every nerve ending in her body hiss, “You are?”

  “Mmhmm.” He hummed, “There’s this pretty little redhead I’ve got it bad for.”

  He drew out the word bad… and then he licked her. The tip of his tongue on the sensitive flesh just beneath her ear. Her legs nearly buckled and she had to hold onto him to stay upright when he blew cool air over the damp spot and then pressed his lips firmly against her skin.

  She shivered as want and desire flamed through her veins. Her head fell back, giving him more room, and he took it. He pinned her to the wall with his big body and they both groaned at the contact. The sparks between them caught fire just that fast and easily and when he raised his head and took her mouth it burned out of control.

  This man was so damn dangerous… So damn good to her, but so damn dangerous all at the same time.

  It had been a little over a month since she stumbled back into his life. Four weeks since she’d kissed him and told him that she wanted him. Two weeks since she’d slept in the same bed with him and he’d promised not to push her.

  In all that time, he had never been the one to initiate contact, had held himself back, waiting for her to come to him, to come around, to be ready. Every time she’d been the one to make the first move and a little piece of her loved him for that, for holding back, for wanting to take their time and make sure she was ready, but a big part of her had been waiting for this.

  Because this was the Cash she remembered. Bold and dominant, he didn’t wait and he didn’t ask permission. He simply trapped her small body with his big, powerful one and took what he wanted. His mouth on hers, his tongue greedily laying siege, his big hands tangling in her hair and then tracing her body, pulling her hips up to meet his so that there was no denying another big part of him wanted her.

  She whimpered from the loss of his kiss when the bell dinged that they’d reached their floor and he broke away. They were both panting and out of breath. Neither of them budged from the others embrace for a long moment, not until the ding sounded again and the doors started to close.

  “Damn it.” Cash grumbled, letting her go and jamming a suitcase in front of the door to block it from closing.

  Her eyebrows winged up as his chest heaved and a scowl marred his handsome face, “Damn it?”

  “This isn’t the time or the place, baby.” He reached for her, tugging her into his side and planting a sweet kiss against the top of her head, “You need to finish this, put this guy and this mess behind you before you’ll ever be ready to give me what I want from you.”

  She buried her head against his chest, afraid to look him in the eye when she asked, “What do you want from me?”

  “Everything.”

  Her heart fluttered and she was glad she’d hidden her face. The smile would have completely given her away if she hadn’t. Because that was Cash, the boy she’d known and the man she was only beginning to understand, equal parts sexy and sweet, angel and devil. He was everything.

  “Come on, we need to get my stuff and get out of here.” She finally pulled away from his embrace and dragged him down the hallway.

  The tension that had been beating off of him all morning only grew as she pulled her key from her pocket. She’d already explained to him that she would use her key to get them in and then leave it behind when they left. She thought that was the reason he was scowling again, the reminder that she’d been living with another man only a month ago, but when she stopped in front of one of only two doors on the floor his unease was explained.

  “That bastard owns the entire floor?”

  “Half of it.” She admitted with a nod, “The top floor is considered the penthouse and we’re one floor down from that. There’s an east and west suite on this floor.”

  His scowl twitched, “Fucker must hate having someone above him.”

  She nodded and unlocked the door. She didn’t think there was any use explaining that Hoyt’s parents actually owned the penthouse as well. They only used it when they were staying in the city, a fact that did, actually, annoy Hoyt because he wanted it for himself. Cash seemed to like the idea of her ex being a step below someone and she wouldn’t take that away from him.

  As they entered the massive condo, she purposefully avoided looking directly at Cash. If his eyes went big or his jaw fell open, she would feel even worse. She knew this kind of grand luxury was out of his realm of comprehension. It had been out of hers until she met Hoyt. The town they’d grown up in, the people they’d grown up with, the rich kids were the ones like Skylar that had grown up with an extra bedroom in their house for games and toys. This level of extravagance had been reserved for movie stars and royalty in her imagination. At least until she’d met Hoyt.

  “Son of a bitch.” Cash grumbled, “You lived here?”

  She nodded again, avoiding his gaze as she dropped the key to the table in the entryway. She made her way into the living area, dragging the suitcases behind her. She heard Cash’s boots falling on the marble floor behind her but she didn’t turn back to face him even when she heard him give a low, appreciative whistle.

&nbs
p; “Hell of a view.”

  “Yep.” She said in a clipped tone, not even bothering to glance out the floor to ceiling windows that looked out over downtown and then further out to the bay. “I’m heading to the bedroom to load up my stuff.”

  Every bit of warmth Cash had given her in the elevator with his passionate embrace, seeped away when she entered the bedroom. She moved through the room, breathing a sigh of relief when she went to the closet, flipping on the light to find that there were boxes there marked with her name. The boxes held the few things she’d really come for. Her tools and materials for her jewelry, the things she couldn’t replace easily.

  She’d honestly been surprised when Hoyt told her she could come pick up her stuff. A part of her had thought the prideful bastard would torch her things or give them to Goodwill if he was feeling particularly spiteful. Instead, all of her clothes were still neatly folded in the dresser drawers and carefully hung on the hangers in the closet.

  The hair on the back of her neck stood up and she spun to the doorway. The air in her lungs rushed out when she saw it was just Cash that had followed her into the room. She would have thought it was relief she was feeling but then she got a good look at his face and her stomach twisted all over again.

  He was wearing his mask. His jaw twitched but he didn’t give anything else away. He’d crossed his arms over his chest and leaned one shoulder against the doorframe in a casual gesture but nothing about him said casual. Tension radiated off of him, anger practically seeping from his pores, and her unease doubled when he didn’t say anything.

  “Give yourself the grand tour?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What do you think?”

  “I think…” He said, his voice as hard as stone, “That I get it now.”

  Her heart tripped over itself at the coldness in his voice. She’d heard him talk to other people like that, but never her. He might be hard and distant with everyone else but he was always warm with her. Except, he looked like a glacier right now.

  “You get what now?”

  “Why you stayed with him as long as you did.” He motioned around the opulent room, “All of this. It can’t be easy to leave it behind after getting a taste of the good life.”

  This time her heart stopped, because it froze solid in her chest. She didn’t gasp or react. She didn’t feel tears prick at her eyes. He’d just insulted her but she didn’t feel like crying, she didn’t feel like lashing out. She didn’t feel anything but the cold awfulness of what he’d just said.

  He thought she’d stayed for the money. Like a whore. He thought she’d put up with Hoyt and his verbal attacks and his abuse because of the lifestyle he provided.

  She tried to breathe through the hurt but her voice wobbled despite her best attempts, “Yeah, that’s me, all about the money.”

  Cash sighed, his mask falling away as regret flashed in his eyes, “That’s not what I meant, Jem.”

  “No?” Her bottom lip trembled as he came closer.

  “Damnit, no, of course not.” He caught her by the wrist when she started to evade him and held her still, “You know me better than that don’t you? It just came out wrong. I never say the right thing when it comes to you and that fucker because I hate thinking of you with him.”

  She tried to think rationally thorough what he was saying and shook her head, “Tell me what you meant then, because all I heard was that I’m a gold-digger that let Hoyt hit me because I liked the kind of life he could give me.”

  “Jesus…” Cash pulled her against his chest, his chin resting on top of her head, “He did a number on you didn’t he, babe? I know I just… I’m not so great with words on a good day and seeing you here, in his place… It makes me angry and I didn’t mean to take that out on you.”

  Since he was apologizing, she didn’t try to get away from him, just circled her arms around his waist and rest her head against his chest, “What were you trying to say?”

  He blew out a rough breath, taking a moment to prepare his thoughts before he started to speak, “You had a life here, Jemma, and maybe some of it was shitty, but I can’t believe all of it was, and leaving behind everything you’ve worked for couldn’t have been easy for you. That’s what I meant. Coming home must have felt like giving up to you and I hate that, even if it brought you back to me.”

  She bit her lip and fought a flash of tears. She was not going to cry. Not today. Not even for this strong, incredible man that understood her so well but claimed not to have the words. He did. It might not come out right the first time, every time, but when he laid himself bare, his thoughts and his feelings, like he just had, she couldn’t help but fall for him all over again.

  “It did feel like giving up.” She admitted.

  “I know.” He stroked her back softly, “And I’m sorry I can’t give you anything like this.”

  “What?” She pulled back to look at him.

  He motioned around the room, “I can’t give you grand views or diamond rings or fancy things.”

  Her heart nearly shattered at the worried look on his handsome face. As if any of that mattered to her? It didn’t. It never had. But she understood what he meant this time, because he’d already told her that he hadn’t thought he deserved her.

  “I don’t need any of those things, Cash. I just need you.”

  He cupped her cheek gently, “You have me.”

  She tiptoed up and kissed him, trying to tell him what she felt without the words. He was so good to her, good for her. He understood her on a level that nobody else did, not even Skylar. He’d been her best friend once, known everything about her, all of the good and bad. He’d known her greatest fears and maybe, after what he’d done last time, she should be afraid that he would use all of that knowledge against her, but she wasn’t. Because the truth was she knew him just as well and she knew that he was a good man.

  He kissed her back, sweet and soft for a long minute before he pulled away with a groan, “Not here.”

  She dropped back to her heels with a sigh, “Yeah, okay, it’s a little weird I’ll admit.”

  “If I look at that bed again I’m gonna start thinking about you in it with that fucker and then I can’t be held accountable for whatever I break on the way out.” He dropped a sweet kiss to her forehead as he released her, “I have to get out of here. I’ll go get the boxes from the truck.”

  She nodded, “Take the boxes that are in the closet with you would you?”

  “He boxed your stuff up?” Cash crossed to the closet and dragged the two small boxes out.

  “It’s my jewelry stuff so be careful with it.” She lifted the second box and put it on top of the first he’d hefted into his arms already, “You sure you can get both at the same time?”

  “I got this.” He winked, “Hurry up and pack your clothes in the suitcases so we can blow this town.”

  “I’ll hurry. Be careful with those.”

  “I said I got it.”

  She watched him leave the room with a smile on her face and then sighed once he was gone. She looked around the bedroom she’d shared with Hoyt and snorted. Cash was right, it was a little weird him being in here and she wouldn’t hold him responsible for breaking things. If their roles were reversed and she had to help him pack up at some ex-girlfriend’s house, she’d likely break a few things herself.

  Getting to work, she pulled drawers open and tossed everything she could find into the suitcases. She skipped the contents of her bra and panty drawer without a thought to the delicate silk and lace. Hoyt had bought most of it back when he was still playing the devoted boyfriend role and the very thought of putting a single piece of it against her skin now made her physically sick.

  By the time she emptied the contents of the dresser, one suitcase was completely full and as she looked between the large walk-in closet and the small suitcase that was left she knew that she was going to end up leaving a lot of things behind.

  She slid a hand lovingly over her favorite pair of red leat
her stilettos. She loved shoes. She’d always loved her shoes. Every style and color lined up neatly on the shelves of the closet but she only grabbed the ones that she knew she would wear again. Sneakers and flats and sandals, she left most of the heels behind. There wasn’t much call for stilettos in a place like Old Settlers but she packed a couple of pairs anyway.

  She figured she could give them to Skylar to cheer her up out of the funk she’d been in the past few weeks. Skylar might not be a city girl but she loved her heels. An expensive pair of blood red stilettos might be just the thing to break through her best friend’s bad mood.

  Jemma frowned just to think about it. Skylar was one of the happiest, most up-beat people she’d ever known. She wasn’t a positive polly, only ever seeing the good in things. She’d suffered life’s tough blows early on but she’d survived so she didn’t let the little things get her down. That was how Jemma knew that the tattooed Bomar downstairs was no little thing to her friend. Skylar had been upset ever since Colt sent her away that night weeks ago and she refused to talk about it, or him.

  God, were they both complete idiots letting the twins be part of their lives? Liking them and wanting them? Sure they were good looking and if you managed to scrape past all the Bomar bluster and bullshit there was something inside them that was good and decent. But it was an awful lot of bullshit and there were some seriously sharp edges to navigate with no hope of not getting cut in the process.

  She only dealt with it because she loved Cash. She bit her lip to stifle the smile that thought brought. It wasn’t the first time she’d thought about him and used that word in the past few weeks. It was crazy and fast and there was no way she should have even let herself consider jumping into this thing with him again right now but the truth was hard to deny.

  She loved him. She always had. Even when she also kind of hated him.

  Because that was how love worked. It didn’t disappear because the other person didn’t say it back. It didn’t care if it broke your heart in the process. It didn’t go away because of time or distance. It was still there, still beating between them, bringing them closer, and it was impossible to deny now that she was finally packing up her old life and looking forward to her new one.