Pulling up Stakes and Other Piercing Stories

by David Lubar

  A present? This was not something I would expect. "Thank you," I said. For the first time since I arrived, I felt warm.

  "A special present," he said.

  I waited to see what he was going to give me. And I worried that I did not have anything for him. I didn't bring much with me. I could give him my book, but he must already know American slang.

  "Here!" he shouted, thrusting something in my face. I was so startled, I took a step back.

  "Aha!" He stepped forward as I moved away.

  The thing in his hand was so close to my eyes that I couldn't focus on it at first. Finally, I realized it was a cross. I was surprised. I had heard that America was a godless country. This must not be true. He was so excited to give it to me, his hand was shaking. "Take this, Vladimir."

  Perhaps Vladimir is an American term for friend. I reached out and took the present. "Thank you, Vladimir," I said to him. I remembered a phrase of friendship from my book. "You are the cat's pajamas. Are you sure you want to give this to me?"

  He nodded. But he didn't say a word. Instead, he walked away without turning his back.

  When I was leaving school, he came up to me again, with his friend.

  "Would you like to go for pizza with us?"

  I didn't know this word. "Pizza?"

  He nodded. "It's food. You do eat food, don't you?"

  "Of course." This was such an odd question. I must have misunderstood. I realized my English was still not very good. I would need to study harder. And perhaps find a new book. I had not heard anyone use the slang I had learned.

  "Pizza is great," the other boy said. "It has red, red sauce. As red as blood. Hot, salty blood with little chunks that are just like clots. Doesn't that sound irresistible?"

  Now I was sure I didn't understand him well. This sounded awful. But I was eager to make friends. I walked with these strange Americans to the pizza store. Even in the darkness, I could see that Alaska was a lovely place, though very different from Romania.

  The first boy was named Jonas. The other was Mack. Sometimes they called each other Captain Kirk and Lex Luthor. Other times, they called each other Chewie and Frodo. I think Americans have many nicknames.

  "So, how do you like it here?" Jonas asked.

  "It is very nice."

  "And very convenient, wouldn't you say? Dark for days on end. No sunlight to ruin things? No chance of turning into a smoldering pile of ashes. Aye, Vlad?"

  I smiled and shrugged, which works well when you don't understand something. When I smiled, I noticed that they both stared at my teeth. I will have to remember to brush more vigorously in the future.

  The pizza turned out to be a tomato pie. After the waiter brought it to our table, Jonas held up a shaker and said, "Garlic powder?"

  I nodded.

  Jonas shook a lot of garlic on the pizza. He shook it so hard that he even got some on me.

  "Too much?" he asked.

  I brushed myself off. "It is perfect," I said, though there was more garlic than I would normally use. But I guess this is how Americans like to eat their food. The sauce was very tasty. It didn't make me think of blood. This was a good thing.

  They both watched me when I took my first bite. Then they looked at each other and sighed, as if they were disappointed. I felt bad that I had failed to please them, but I didn't know what I had done wrong.

  In the days that followed, I had many adventures with Jonas and Mack. They took me to their church. And to every other church in town. They splashed me with holy water. I didn't think it was right to waste such a precious thing, but perhaps this is another American custom. They even helped me put gel in my hair. We stood in front of the mirror for a long time. Jonas kept staring at my reflection and waving his hand behind my head. He was a strange boy, but I liked him.

  They also gave me many nicknames. Nosferatu. Varney. Lugosi. Spike. I didn't understand any of this, but I believe it made them happy to call me these things.

  One day, in our shop class, Mack picked up a piece of wood with a point on the end. "Does this make you nervous?" he asked.

  "No."

  He placed the point against my chest and stared into my eyes. "Not even now?"

  "Of course not," I said. "You are my friend. Nothing you do would make me nervous."

  Mack is also strange. But I liked him, too.

  I noticed that they don't have any other friends. All Americans value their individuality, but some Americans do not value other people's individuality. Mack and Jonas are very individual. So is the girl who sits in the back. I wish she was my friend.

  By now, my father had found a job. My mother started going to classes to learn better English. Both my parents were enjoying American food. We were becoming part of this country. I had even learned a word for it. We were assimilating. But I still had not talked to the beautiful girl, whose name was Zinah. Sometimes, she seemed to watch me. Other times, I was sure she was following me down the hallway. I never saw her speak to anyone. I wondered whether she was lonely.

  "Does Zinah have a boy friend?" I asked Mack one day.

  He shook his head. "She hasn't found Mr. Wrong yet."

  I didn't know what that meant.

  It has been dark for many days. But the sun will be rising for the first time tomorrow. Just for a little bit. I heard Jonas and Mack talking about it. They didn't know I was in the bathroom when they came in. I had rushed there before my classes started. I think my mother's first experiment with making salmon chili had not gone so well.

  "The sun is the real proof," Jonas said.

  "Yeah. Everything else could be wrong. Crosses, garlic, mirrors. That could all just be myths. Even the fangs. Writers are always inventing stuff. But the sun. That's the real test. If he's a vampire, he'll never be able to withstand the sun."

  Vampire? I gasped, then held my breath, afraid they'd hear me. In my country, we tell those stories to children to scare them. I never knew Americans believed such things. Now I understood why Mack thought I'd be afraid of a stake.

  "It would be awesome," Jonas said. "Vampires are so cool. And he's our friend, which makes us the coolest guys in the school."

  "Or maybe in the whole world. I want him to be real," Mack said, "but I don't want him to get fried."

  So maybe in America they have no fear of vampires. Not that it mattered. I wasn't one of the undead.

  The next day, the whole town gathered to watch the sunrise. We stood on a hill near the apartment building where I lived. Even my parents were there. They felt much better today, though my mother has sworn she will never make salmon chili again.

  I joined Jonas and Mack, who were standing off by themselves near the edge of the crowd.

  "Are you sure you want to be here," Jonas asked.

  "Of course," I said. "I want to be with my friends."

  "You haven't seen the sun for a long time," Mack said. "It can be very hard on your eyes. And your skin. Maybe you should go inside. Get used to it gradually. Don't want to get all crispy, do you?"

  "The ozone layer's been depleted," Jonas said. "There's a serious risk of exposure. Especially for people who are sensitive to light. You could burn real fast."

  "I'll be fine." I was pleased that they were worried about me.

  Far off, I noticed a glow on the horizon. Everyone became quiet. Jonas had told me that when the sun rose, the whole crowd would cheer.

  Nearby, I saw Zinah. She was watching me. But my thoughts weren't on her. At least not all of my thoughts. I was thinking about my friends. My good friends Jonas and Mack. I finally had a gift I could give them.

  I pulled up the collar of my coat and clutched Jonas's sleeve. "I have to go," I said.

  He reached out with his other hand and squeezed my shoulder. "I understand."

  I turned and ran. I needed to make sure I got away before they saw that I was smiling. Jonas and Mack wanted so much for me to be a vampire. They wanted to believe. This would make them happy. This was my present to them. Later, I would
have to tell them the truth. But for now, they would feel special. And maybe, even when they knew the truth, part of that feeling would stay with them.

  I went to my apartment.

  A moment later, someone knocked on the door.

  It was her.

  "I've been watching you," she said. "From the day you walked into class."

  She closed the door behind her, then reached up and touched my cheek. "You are so cold."

  Of course I was cold. I'd been standing outside. But I didn't speak. I was too nervous.

  "What a long trip you've taken to get here."

  I nodded.

  "I've come prepared." She thrust her hand into her purse.

  I stepped back. In my mind, I could see her pulling out a stake and plunging it into my heart. That would be a bad way to start a friendship. Instead, she pulled out lip gloss. "I get so chapped sometimes," she said after she'd spread a bit of gloss on her lips.

  She put the container back in her purse. I still hadn't found my voice.

  "I knew some day someone like you would come. You're so strong. So silent. So powerful." She moved her face close to mine. "So irresistible." Then she kissed me. I kissed her back.

  It was a long kiss. A warm kiss.

  When we finally moved apart, she said, "I could tell you were special the moment I saw you."

  I ended my silence by repeating her words.

  From far off, the sound of cheers came through the closed window. The sun was up. Briefly. I was eager to see it, but I left the curtains alone.

  Zinah touched the side of her beautiful neck. "Do you want to kiss me here?"

  "Maybe later," I said. I wanted to kiss her everywhere. But I knew she'd be puzzled if I kissed her neck without biting it. And before I kissed her again, there was something I had to say. A man of honor never lies to a lady. I had to be honest with her. "I am not a vampire," I said to her. "I am just a young man of flesh and blood. Vampires are not real." I spoke the truth to her. Every single word. In Romanian, of course.

  "I don't know what you said, but it sounded very sexy." Zinah sighed and put her arms around me. "The boys in school — they're so boring. So dull. Not like you, Adrian."

  I sighed too, and put my arms around her. Today, the sun would only be up for a short time. But in the months to come, there would be sun all the time. And I would have to tell Zinah the truth. In English. Or meet her only indoors. In nice dark places, where we could hold each other and whisper secrets in our native tongues.

  There is a phrase in my book. Tomorrow is another day. Perhaps, by then, she'll like me for who I am, not what she thinks I might be. Maybe Jonas and Mack can help me figure out the best way to tell her. Surely they understand American girls better than I do.

  It will all work out. Before, I pulled up stakes. Now, I am putting down roots. In this magical land of dark and light.

  Thank you for sending me here, Uncle Ian. I forgive you. Because Americans are forgiving people, with warm hearts. And I am an American.

  About the author

  David Lubar grew up in Morristown, NJ. The son of a school librarian, his lack of athletic or social skills allowed him to begin polishing his literary talents and love of reading at an early age. He credits his passion for short stories to his limited attention span and his even-more-limited typing ability. He sold his first short story in 1978, two years after graduating from Rutgers. Armed with a degree in Philosophy and no discernible job skills, he spent the bulk of the Carter administration as a starving writer before accidentally discovering he knew how to program computers.

  He’s written more than two dozen books for young readers, including Hidden Talents, Flip, Invasion of the Road Weenies, Punished!, Dunk, and Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie. His novels are on reading lists across the country, saving countless students from a close encounter with Madame Bovary. His short stories have appeared in the collections of such respected anthologists as M. Jerry Weiss and Don Gallo, and in a variety of magazines, including Boy's Life, READ, and Nickelodeon. He has published an eclectic body of humor pieces in both national and regional publications. In a former, geekier phase of his life, he designed and programmed many old-school video games, including Home Alone, and Frogger 2. In his spare time, he takes naps on the couch.

  He lives in Nazareth, Pennsylvania with his wife and a trio of felines. He also lives online at www.davidlubar.com.

  Other books by David Lubar

  Novels:

  Hidden Talents

  True Talents

  Flip

  Dunk

  Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie

  Story collections:

  In the Land of the Lawn Weenies and Other Warped and Creepy Tales

  Invasion of the Road Weenies and Other Warped and Creepy Tales

  The Curse of the Campfire Weenies and Other Warped and Creepy Tales

  The Battle of the Red Hot pepper Weenies and Other Warped and Creepy Tales

  Attack of the Vampire Weenies and Other Warped and Creepy Tales

  Chapter Books:

  My Rotten Life: Nathan Abercrombie, Accidental Zombie, book #1

  Dead Guy Spy: Nathan Abercrombie, Accidental Zombie, book #2

  Goop Soup: Nathan Abercrombie, Accidental Zombie, book #3

  The Big Stink: Nathan Abercrombie, Accidental Zombie, book #4

  Enter the Zombie: Nathan Abercrombie, Accidental Zombie, book #5

  Punished!

  Dog Days

  eBooks:

  It Seemed Funny at the Time: a large collection of short humor

  See them all on his book page.