Stupid Love: A Friends to Lovers Romantic Comedy (The Prescotts Book 1)

by Tara Wyatt

  The other man stood, but his movements were relaxed, unhurried. Apparently, he had a death wish. “Y’all have a nice night.” He winked at Lauren and then turned and disappeared back into the crowd.

  “What the fuck, Lo?” he growled out before he could stop himself.

  “Are you jealous?” she asked, her voice flat in a way that had his brain been working properly, would’ve been a warning signal.

  He shoved a hand through his hair, trying to get a handle on the possessive anger still churning through him. “That guy was all over you.”

  She arched an eyebrow. “So?”

  “So? What do you mean, so? You’re here with me.” Because you’re mine, Lo. Fuck.

  She stood, meeting his gaze, her eyes flashing with something dangerous. “As a friend. Which means that I’m single and free to flirt with whoever the hell I want. God knows you certainly think of yourself that way.”

  “What are you talking about?” he asked, some of the anger ebbing out of him as panic and worry started to flow in.

  “You know, it’s really unfair, Theo, that you don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to have me either.”

  He opened and closed his mouth. Is that what he was doing here? Treating her like a toy he didn’t want to play with, but didn’t want any of the other boys playing with either? He scrubbed a hand over his face, his stomach twisting in knots. Fuck, he was the world’s biggest asshole, wasn’t he? He wanted her in his life and in his bed, but on terms he could never expect her to agree to long term, even if the terms had been her suggestion.

  When he didn’t say anything, she sighed and then worried her lip between her teeth, her arms crossed over her chest. When she met his eyes again, he was rocked by the sadness in hers. “I think we need to talk,” she said softly. “Let’s go find somewhere quiet.”

  His heart beat sluggishly in his chest as he nodded. “Sure. Yeah.” He reached out to take her hand, but she curled her fingers away from him and he felt his thoughts start to scatter.

  Wordlessly, he followed her out to the hallway where he’d just been talking with his cousin and then through a set of French doors that led out into the courtyard. It was deserted, the only sounds coming from the burbling fountain and the traffic on the other side of the trees. She sat down on the ledge of the stone fountain, her hair moving around her shoulders in the gentle breeze. Moonlight hit her pale skin, making her look like she was glowing from within. She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

  “I don’t even know where to start,” she said, twisting her fingers together in her lap. “Just give me a second to organize my thoughts. I…I have a lot I need to say.”

  He nodded and sat down next to her, a few inches further away than he normally would’ve. He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling both too hot and too cold.

  “I heard what you said to Noah,” she said after a moment. “I heard you laugh at the idea of ever being in a serious relationship with me. I heard you say that we were just friends, and that you’re single.” She looked up and met his eyes, her own bright, the hurt he’d caused etched on her face. “It felt really, really shitty to hear you say that, Theo.”

  God, he was such a fucking asshole. Not because he’d said those things to Noah, but because of the way he’d let the lines get so blurry between them that he’d wound up hurting her. Before he could figure out what to say, she started talking again.

  “It sucked because you and I both know that we’ve been living in more than friends territory for weeks now. Maybe even longer, if we’re honest. At least, that’s how it’s felt for me. Hearing you laugh at the idea of a future ripped me to shreds, Theo, because I’m in love with you, and I have been for a long time.”

  He sucked in a shaky breath as adrenaline shot through him. But it wasn’t a good kind of adrenaline rush. No, it was the kind that had dread settling in the pit of his stomach, fear clawing at him. Lauren was in love with him. And that was terrifying because being friends with benefits was one thing, but love…no. He didn’t do love. Love would only end up with everything crashing and burning in a way that was ten times worse.

  He cleared his throat, trying to figure out what to say. It was hard, with the panic and the fear and the overwhelming sense of dread engulfing him, but he finally managed to make his mouth form words. “You’re the one who suggested we not label things. That was your idea, not mine.”

  “Because I didn’t want you to freak the fuck out! Which is exactly what you’re doing right now.” She moved closer and took his hands in hers, his skin tingling at her touch. God, he wanted so badly to be what she needed, but he couldn’t change who he was. He couldn’t just ignore what he’d experienced and what he believed. Those things were hardwired in. “I know this is scary for you. I know. But I don’t understand why you can’t at least try. Why we can’t try.” When he didn’t say anything, she shook her head and then searched his eyes. “Am I worth trying for? Because I would do anything for you, Theo.”

  His throat constricted and he swallowed, refusing to give in to the emotion threatening to pull him under. “I wish things were different, Lo.”

  She closed her eyes for a moment but left her hands twined with his. “This is so frustrating because if you would just let yourself trust what you feel…”

  “And what do I feel?” he asked, his voice coming out a little snappier than he’d intended it.

  “After you had your appendix out, you were still groggy from the anesthetic, and…” She shook her head and took a breath. “You said that you were in love with me, but that you could never love me the way I deserved. Knowing how you felt, I suggested that we not label things to give you time to get used to the idea of us being together, being more than friends, but I can see now that until you let go of all the stuff you’re clinging to, you’re never going to let yourself actually be in love with me. And I just don’t think that’s ever going to happen. I did, but…” She didn’t finish her thought, just sucked in a shaky breath.

  His back stiffened and he hated that his first reaction to her confession was a sense of betrayal. “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner? You kept this to yourself for weeks, and I can’t help but feel that you’re manipulating me.” His mother’s words from the night before came back, bouncing around his skull and for a sickening second, he wondered if she’d been completely right about Lauren, and then immediately felt like the world’s biggest asshole for even thinking it.

  Her eyes widened. “I’m not manipulating you! I was trying to give you space without you freaking out. But I can see now that your freak out was pretty much inevitable because you’ve convinced yourself that all of these limiting beliefs you have about love and relationships and happiness are carved in stone and completely unchangeable, and that’s bullshit, Theo. Total bullshit.” She stood and paced away from him, her skirt whirling around her legs. “What would happen if you let yourself actually love me?” she asked, holding her arms out at her sides, her exasperation and frustration with him palpable. “Would the sky fall? Would the world end?”

  “No, but we would. Loving leads to hating. It’s the same coin, just a different side, and eventually it flips. It always does. I saw it growing up, and I see it every single day at work. If I let myself love you, eventually we’ll end up hating each other. And I don’t want to feel that way about you. I don’t want to lose you, Lo.”

  “You don’t want to lose me, but you refuse to admit that you love me, or entertain the possibility of a real relationship between the two of us. You think I’m manipulating you because—” She cut herself off, her lips pressed together in a thin line. “Whether you know it or not, you’ve already been loving me. No one else takes care of me and makes me laugh and supports me and makes me come the way you do. That’s love, Theo. You’re in it, whether you like it or not.”

  He pushed to his feet, restless energy surging through him. “I’m broken, Lauren! What do you want me to say? I’m broken, and I know it. You know it too, a
nd you tried to pull my strings to get what you wanted, and now look at us.”

  Tears shone in her eyes and her lip trembled as his words reverberated around the courtyard.

  “Where did you ever see this going? I need to know.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Because maybe I’m feeling a little manipulated, too.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to figure out what the hell to say. Where had he seen this going? Had he just been leading her on this entire time? He didn’t know what to think anymore.

  When he didn’t say anything for a long moment, she took a step closer to him, the look on her face one of sheer longing tinged with a deep heartache. “Was it true? When you said that you were in love with me?”

  He flinched, unable to stop himself. “Everything I said was true. That I’m in love with you, and that I can’t love you the way you deserve. Like I said, I’m broken. I didn’t have healthy relationship role models growing up. All I see every day is how it all crumbles apart. Anytime I’ve ever tried to make it work with someone, I’ve only ever caused her pain. And hurting you was the last thing I ever wanted to do, Lo, but I can see it’s too late for that now.”

  Tears slipped down her cheeks as she nodded slowly. His entire body felt like a block of ice, pain slicing through his chest at what he’d done. At what he’d allowed to happen.

  “I can’t do this with you anymore,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I…Sadie wants me to move to Los Angeles to work with her, and I’m going to do it. I’m leaving.”

  He took a step back, completely blindsided by yet another piece of information she hadn’t shared with him, and once again he couldn’t help but feel like a puppet on a string. “You never mentioned the part about moving to LA,” he said, his voice low and gravely. He swallowed around the lump in his throat. She was slipping through his fingers, and he had no choice but to let her go. Emotions all converged—guilt, anger, sadness, regret—so tightly wound together that he couldn’t tell one from the others.

  “I needed some time to think it through on my own.” She clenched her fingers into the fabric of her skirt.

  “You should’ve told me.”

  “Why? So you could ask me to stay and keep following you around like a sad little puppy dog, hoping you’d one day decide I was worth taking a chance on? No thanks. You’re not my boyfriend—you’ve made that clear—so you don’t get a vote here.”

  “But I’m your friend, and doesn’t that count for something?”

  Fresh tears slipped down her cheeks and she wiped them hastily away. “I don’t know what we are anymore.” She shook her head and then glanced over her shoulder. “I’m…I’m gonna go.”

  “Back to the room?”

  “Back to New York.”

  He opened and closed his mouth, but for once in his life, arguments were failing him.

  She moved closer, her chin trembling as she let out a shuddery breath. “I love you, Theo.

  And I’m sorry that such a beautiful thing ruined our friendship.”

  She turned and disappeared through the French doors back into the hotel. He sank down onto the stone fountain and dropped his head into his hands, wave after wave of grief slamming into him, along with a healthy helping of guilt.

  He’d just lost his best friend. She was gone.

  20

  Lauren’s plane was in the air before the sun rose the next morning, and as far as she was concerned, it wasn’t a moment too soon. She knew she couldn’t run away from the pain in her chest, from the splintered shards where her heart used to be, but she could try. She could put as much distance as possible between herself and Theo—a whole country’s worth—in the hopes that his rejection would hurt less.

  After she’d walked away from him the night before, she’d gone back up to their hotel room, refusing to let her gaze linger on the bed where they’d had such passionate sex just twenty-four hours ago. Refusing to let herself replay the entire conversation that had unraveled their relationship. Instead, she’d focused on changing out of her dress and gathering up her things as quickly as possible. She didn’t know if Theo would come up to find her, but she doubted it. They’d said everything there was to say. A part of her had hoped he would come looking for her because it would mean that maybe there was a still a chance...but he hadn’t, and she’d been equal parts disappointed and relieved. Once she’d packed her bag, she’d headed down to the lobby, where the concierge had called her a cab. She’d checked herself into the Best Western a few miles from the airport and then booked a flight for first thing the next morning. It had felt childish and impulsive, leaving like that, but she’d known that she couldn’t bear seeing Theo again when everything was still so fresh and raw.

  She’d spent a restless night tossing and turning, sleeping in fits as Theo’s voice echoed through her dreams. Thankfully the night ended when she got up at 4 AM to get ready for her flight. She’d showered, dressed and taken the hotel shuttle to the airport. By six AM, she’d been airborne.

  As she sat on the plane, drinking a burnt-tasting cup of coffee, she swung back and forth between complete numbness and wild, almost uncontrollable emotion. There was bitterness and anger, foolishness and humiliation, grief and sadness, and pain. So much pain she didn’t know what to do with it.

  She thought she’d had her heart broken before, more than once, but now she wasn’t so sure. She’d never experienced this kind of bone deep sorrow, this kind of all-consuming loss. And she knew it was because she hadn’t just lost the guy she was dating; she’d lost Theo. Her best friend for the past ten years. She’d lost them and everything they were to each other in one fell swoop.

  She pressed a hand to her chest, trying to soothe the ache there. But there was nothing she could do about the gaping wound Theo had left behind. Not unless someone invented time travel and she went back to the night of the double date and kept her mouth shut. Or maybe she could go back to the morning Theo had come home from the hospital and she’d convinced him to see where things might go between them. Again, if only she’d kept her mouth shut.

  But no, that wasn’t entirely fair. She’d wanted a relationship with him. Hell, she’d been in love with him for longer than she was willing to admit. She’d followed her heart and let herself hope, and that wasn’t something she was willing to regret, even if she did regret the loss of the friendship. Regret. Right. It felt more like mourning.

  She closed her eyes, pleading with herself to fall asleep. To drop out of the world for just a couple of hours so she could stop hurting. But it wouldn’t come, because every time she closed her eyes, all she could hear was Theo’s laugh at the idea of ever being in a committed relationship with her. The stony look on his face as he’d accused her of manipulating him.

  She opened her eyes and rubbed at them, trying to dispel some of the grittiness. Had she manipulated him? She hadn’t set out to, but maybe she had, in an unintentional way. Because she’d known how he’d freak out and she’d been trying to avoid it. Maybe she should’ve seen the way she’d had to ease him into the idea of being together as a red flag instead of an obstacle to overcome. Her chest felt tight as doubt ate at her. Maybe she’d been chasing something that was never, ever going to happen. Maybe, maybe, maybe. But the truth was, all of those maybes didn’t matter anymore, because Theo was no longer part of her life. She honestly didn’t know if she’d ever see him again. She didn’t know if she could.

  And yet she couldn’t stop coming back to the fact that he’d admitted he was in love with her. He’d admitted it and then he’d told her that he couldn’t love her the way she deserved because he was broken. She wasn’t sure if she believed him, but she was done chasing him. That much she knew for sure.

  She slumped down in her seat, her throat thick and raw, and she blinked furiously, trying to stem the tears threatening to fall. Her eyes burned with the effort, and her chest ached. Her entire body ached, loneliness settling over her like a scratchy, heavy blanket.

  Needing som
ething to do so she didn’t start sobbing in front of a plane full of strangers, she pulled her phone out of her purse and opened her email, drafting one to be sent as soon as she landed.

  Hi Sadie,

  Thanks for giving me so much time to think everything over. I’m in! I’m beyond thrilled to be working with you and so excited to get started. I’ll be in LA before the end of this week. If the offer of the apartment still stands, I’ll take it.

  Talk soon,

  Lauren

  “Prescott, that brief was supposed to be on my desk thirty minutes ago,” said Sanford Lennox, one of the firm’s founding partners. Sanford was in his early sixties, with salt and pepper hair, glasses always perched halfway down his nose, and a penchant for cardigans and loudly-printed ties.

  Theo looked up from his computer and saw Sanford take in his desk with a frown. It was littered with files, Post-It notes, empty Starbucks cups and the remains of more than one take out meal. He’d spent the past week trying to bury himself in work so he wouldn’t think about Lauren, but his focus and concentration had been utter shit because all he could think about was Lauren. He was coasting on caffeine and the sheer will to stay awake because he couldn’t sleep. He was living off of protein bars and salads because he couldn’t eat. He was a disorganized mess at work because he couldn’t think. All he could do was miss her and hurt and try to convince himself that letting her go was the right thing to do, even if it had meant hurting her.

  Because now she was free. Free to be with the kind of man she deserved, to receive the kind of love she deserved. Letting her go had felt like severing a limb, but it had been the right thing to do. He had to believe that because otherwise, he might start punching things.

  “Shit, yeah, it’s here. Sorry,” he said, shoving through a few folders on his desk and sending an empty salad container tumbling to the floor.