Restless Hearts

by Mona Ingram

  * * *

  Sarah wandered into the dining room after taking food to Lily, and smiled at her friends clustered around the wood stove. Anna, Melissa and little Walter. Angus. Addie. They were more than friends; they were her new family. She looked over at the table in the window where she and Jamie had shared meals, and wondered what he was doing right now. Was he thinking of her? She’d been so busy since coming home that she hadn’t had a chance to think about how much she missed him.

  She’d thought she could fill the empty hours away from Jamie with building her business. There was always work to be done, and decisions to be made, but those things didn’t fill the gaping hole in her life. She wandered back into the kitchen, where her gaze rested on the proofing loaves of bread. As she looked around, she noticed a new chalk board where someone had jotted the menus for the next few days. A list of ingredients occupied the area to the right of the menus, most of them checked off. She allowed herself to smile, and it occurred to her that Anna and Addie had quietly taken over running the food, and that they were doing an excellent job. Maybe she’d been trying to convince herself that she was needed, when clearly they could manage without her. She was too tired to consider the ramifications of that tonight, but it was definitely something to think about.

  She joined the others and accepted a cup of tea from Addie. In the short while they’d been together, Addie had learned to read her moods. It was uncanny, but there were times it was good not to have to explain.

  “How is she?” asked Anna, giving her daughter an affectionate hug. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe Missy earlier, but we were so busy...” Her voice trailed off.

  “She’s exhausted.” Sarah stared into her tea for a moment, then raised her gaze to Angus. “She said Hiram bought her.” Addie took in a quick breath, but Sarah continued. “How can this be happening? We’re supposed to be a civilized society, but this...” she spread her hands in a hopeless gesture. “This is barbaric.”

  “You’re right,” he said slowly, choosing his words with care. “And I believe there’s change in the air, but for now, especially here where there’s so little effort to keep the peace, there’s no effort made to stop people like Hiram.”

  Weariness overtook Sarah and she struggled to her feet. “I’m going to go to sleep now.” She looked around. “Where’s Devon?”

  “He went out. Said he needed to walk and think.” Angus glanced outside. “I’ll make sure he’s back before I leave.”

  “Thanks, Angus.” Sarah understood how her brother was feeling. He wasn’t the only confused member of the Howard family. Maybe tomorrow, things would make more sense for both of them.

  * * *

  “How is she?” Devon was waiting for her when she came out of the back bedroom the next morning.

  “She’s fine.” Sarah spoke kindly, but took her brother by the arm and led him to the dining room. “Stay here and I’ll bring some coffee for both of us.” She paused. “Would you like anything else?”

  “I could eat a fruit pie if there are any left from yesterday, but I suppose that’s not likely.”

  Sarah grinned. He may have lost his heart, but he still had his appetite. “I’ll check.”

  She returned a few moments later with coffee and two pies. Devon fell on one of them as though he hadn’t eaten for a week.

  “Have you thought of serving breakfast?” he asked, washing down the last of the pie with a large swallow of coffee. “You’ve become famous for your coffee already. I hear people talking about it when I’m out buying supplies.”

  “Breakfast would be something to consider if we could get our hands on a reliable supply of eggs. Potatoes, too. If we had eggs and potatoes, we’d be the most popular breakfast spot around.” She watched him carefully. “But you don’t really want to talk about breakfast, do you?”

  His cheeks flushed red. “Not really, no.” He ran his finger around the rim of his cup. “When can I see her again, Sarah?”

  She didn’t need to ask who he was talking about. “I don’t know, Dev. Probably not today. She’s an exhausted young woman and she needs to rest. By the way, her name is Lily.”

  “Lily.” He said her name softly, like a precious thing he held in his mouth. “It suits her.” He looked into the distance, and Sarah found herself wondering if Jamie ever had that look on his face when he thought of her. Her brother was saying something, but she didn’t hear. “I’m sorry,” she said, dragging herself back to the present. “What did you say?”

  He gave her an odd look. “I asked if she’s going to be okay.”

  “Physically, she seems to be fine. But it’s evident that she’s been through some rough times recently.”

  “Where is she from? Do you know?”

  Sarah nodded. “That’s one of the few things she told me. She’s from Shanghai.” She kept on talking before she lost her nerve. “She told me she’d been sold.”

  “Sold!” Devon jumped up from his chair and started to pace, his face reflecting his horror. “Sold? Is that possible?”

  “Apparently it is. She said the man has a bill of sale.” A wry smile flirted with her mouth. “According to Lily, he thought he was buying a mild-mannered Chinese woman, but she managed to elude him on the first day and run away. It was just lucky that she found us. She smelled the food and when she saw Anna and Missy, she decided it was safe.”

  Devon sat down again and supported his head in his hands. “I don’t even want to ask why someone would buy a woman.” His face was tortured. “When I picked her up and looked into her eyes...” His voice drifted off.

  “Devon.” Sarah struggled to find the right words. “Don’t do this to yourself. Please. I think I know how you feel about her, but Addie and I agree that Lily’s going to have trust issues for a long time. Especially with men.”

  “I know,” he said, sitting back down. “Addie told me.”

  “I’m sorry.” Sarah squeezed his arm again and then released her grip. “We both love you, you know that, but we don’t want to see you hurt.”

  He remained silent for several long moments. “Do you want me to leave? Find somewhere else to live?”

  “No,” she said. “I want you to stay here. And I’m not suggesting that you avoid her when she’s ready to come out of her room. Just don’t fall in love with her, that’s all.”

  But it was too late, and they both knew it.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “I need something to do.” Sarah stepped out of the way as Caroline and Lizzie swept past, delivering the last of the food to the outside tent. The eating house was a resounding success and the miners lined up earlier and earlier each day, but with Addie running the kitchen and Anna and Missy selling pies in the plaza, there was very little for Sarah to do. Even Lily had helped the last few days, working silently beside the others. She shrank every time she heard a man’s voice, but they had decided among themselves not to let on that they noticed. Devon was always in the background, alert to any threats to her safety.

  “We need to talk business.” Addie pulled out her pocket watch. “It’s almost two, and we’ll start serving again at five, but that’s all organized.” The smells of roasting pork were already wafting through the house. “Let’s take a break and have a cup of coffee.”

  “Speaking of coffee,” said Sarah, settling in the dining room. “I had coffee with Lucy this morning. She sends her regards. Says she’s hearing great things about us.”

  Addie set down her cup. “That’s sort of what I wanted to talk about. Money. We need to decide what to do with it.” She lifted her shoulders. “We’re making money hand over fist, as my father used to say.”

  “Really?” Sarah frowned. “I’m embarrassed to say that I hadn’t even thought about it. How much have we made?”

  “I can’t tell precisely, because much of it is in gold, but we’ve been open full time for two weeks now. We’re selling all the pies we can make at two for a dollar, and we’re serving something like eighty meals a day at a dollar a
piece. We’ve made a profit of something like fourteen or fifteen hundred dollars, less what we pay Caroline and Lizzie. We’re doing well.”

  “Good Lord! I had no idea.” Sarah thought for a moment. “What about you and Anna? Neither of you have taken a wage.”

  “We have excellent shelter and our meals. As far as Melissa, she has a nice little pile of her own from what the miners give her.”

  “But you and Anna are doing all the work.”

  “A lot of it, but we’re content for now. You’ve given us both a chance at a new life.”

  Sarah blinked back tears. “Darn you, Addie. You’re making me cry.”

  Addie drank, watching her friend over the rim of her cup. “You miss him, don’t you?”

  “Yes!” It felt good to admit it. She dabbed at her eyes. “This is one of those times I could use his business sense. He’d know what we should do with the money.” She turned forlorn eyes on Addie. “I thought he’d have come back by now. I thought he’d miss me.”

  “Hmmph!”

  “What do you mean, Hmmph?”

  “Why, bless your heart, Sarah Howard, but haven’t I heard tell that the steamer travels in both directions?”

  The sassy southern accent caught Sarah by surprise, and she laughed out loud.

  “You’re evil, Adaline Lafontaine.” She paused. “Is that even your real name?”

  Addie raised an eyebrow, and they both laughed.

  “But seriously, Sarah.” Addie sobered. “I’d bet anything that he misses you, too. He’s probably up there on his ranch counting the days since you left and wondering why you haven’t come back for some more lovin’.”

  “Addie!” Sarah paused. “How did you know?”

  Addie rolled her eyes. “Lord, woman! You were glowing like a new bride when you came back. A blind man could have seen it.” She leaned her elbows on the table. “And every day since, that glow has faded a little bit more. You belong with him, Sarah. Why don’t you admit it?”

  “But...” Sarah looked around. “What about the business?”

  “What about it? It’s thriving, or haven’t you been listening?”

  “So. You’re trying to get rid of me.” Sarah attempted a laugh but couldn’t quite pull it off. “I know you mean well Addie, but I’m afraid. What if he really doesn’t want me?”

  “An unlikely scenario, but if it turns out that way, at least you’ll know.” Addie took a deep breath. “Listen to me, Sarah. You’re a good woman and I admire you. You took a chance with this business and it paid off. You’ve helped I don’t know how many people and never asked a thing from any of them. But now it’s time to do something for yourself. It’s time to take care of Sarah for a change.”

  Sarah tried to finish her coffee but her hand was trembling so much she had to put her cup down. “Do you really think so? Should I go back there?”

  “Lawdy Miss Sarah, are you deaf?” Addie was at it again, but when she continued, it was in her normal voice. “Yes,” she said. “I think you should go. Lily is safe with Devon around. Take your time and make sure it’s really what you want.” She smiled impishly. “And when you come back, bring us a few potatoes. I’d dearly love a potato.”

  Sarah suddenly felt a lot lighter. “Okay,” she said. “I’ll do it. I’ll leave in the morning.”

  * * *

  “Thank you for looking out for Lily.” Devon had delivered Sarah to the dock. “It’s good to know you’re here.”

  Devon took her arm and guided her through the jostling crowd. He’d grown up a lot in the past couple of weeks and she found herself looking at him through fresh eyes.

  “Have a good time,” he said, brushing her cheek with his lips. “I hope to meet this man of yours one day.” The ship’s horn sounded and Sarah covered her ears. “You’d better board,” he said, and backed up. “Don’t forget Addie’s potatoes.”

  Sarah found a spot by the stern and searched the dock, knowing Devon would stay to see the steamer depart. She was proud of the way he’d handled himself around Lily. The young Chinese woman hadn’t outwardly softened toward him, but neither did she get that frightened look when she heard a male voice. When Devon went out to collect supplies, he quietly ensured that Lily wouldn’t be alone. He seemed content to watch over her for now, and for that Sarah was grateful. She raised a hand and Devon returned the gesture, then disappeared into the crowd.

  The trip upriver passed surprisingly quickly. Sarah strolled the promenade deck, expecting at any moment to be overcome by a case of nerves. It wasn’t until the steamer was nearing Sacramento, and she started to recognize familiar landmarks, that she realized she was far from nervous. She was anxious to see Jamie again, to look into his eyes. One glance would tell her everything she needed to know. Now that she was almost there, her heart started to beat a little faster, but she knew she’d done the right thing in coming.

  * * *

  “Rancho Agua Dulce, ma’am? Yes, I remember you coming through a few weeks back. You and the gentleman.” The man from the livery stable greeted her cautiously. “And you just need a horse until tomorrow?”

  “Yes, please. Mr. Thomas will bring it back in the morning.” She hadn’t expected to have to explain herself, but she gave him a confident smile.

  He scratched his head. “All right then.” He helped her fasten her bag, and assisted her up.

  Her heart grew lighter as she came closer to the ranch. What would Jamie be doing when she got there? She tried to visualize him at various spots on the ranch, and found that she couldn’t. All she could think of was running into his arms and telling him she loved him.

  * * *

  Jamie stepped back as he made the final cut through the log. One more and he would have enough to start expanding the pig enclosure. Unaccustomed to physical work, his body protested, but he was enjoying himself. Besides, exhaustion was helping him to sleep. For the first few days after Sarah had left, he’d tossed and turned late into the night, wondering if he’d done the right thing in not telling her how he felt. His body stirred every time he thought about her, making sleep even more difficult. He’d decided that if she didn’t show up within the next two or three days, he’d go to San Francisco.

  He wiped the sweat from his brow and then splashed some water over his head. It was hot work out here in the late afternoon sun, but he wanted to finish cutting the posts. Following Diego’s advice, he’d purchased a pregnant sow two weeks ago and she’d already given birth. He probably spent too much time watching the pudgy little creatures lined up in a row suckling, but he was determined to learn about his livestock. He’d already purchased an additional ten pigs, but he couldn’t bring them to the ranch until he finished the pens that would separate them from the mother and her rapidly-growing offspring.

  He ripped off his wet shirt and picked up the saw. His shoulders ached, but one more post and he would have enough. He heaved the log onto the supports he’d made and prepared to make the first cut.

  “Senor Jamie.” Diego rode up after returning from his daily check on the cattle. “Someone’s coming.”

  Jamie shaded his eyes and looked toward the main house. “Who?”

  “I’m not sure, but it looks like a woman. I spotted the dust cloud when I was riding in.”

  Suddenly Jamie’s shoulders didn’t ache any more. “Sarah,” he murmured, running his fingers through his hair in an effort to improve his appearance. He grabbed his shirt and wiped what he hoped was the worst of the dust and grime from his face and chest, and strode toward the front courtyard.

  He came around the side of the house just as a buggy pulled up. As the dust cleared, he recognized the passenger and he felt like he’d been slammed in the chest.

  “Letitia!” He hoped he didn’t sound welcoming.

  “Darling!” She stepped down and frowned as dust settled on her boots. “Surprise!” She offered her cheek for a kiss and Jamie brushed his lips against it. Her scent was as he remembered, and for a moment he thought he would gag.
r />   He pulled back. “What are you doing here?”

  She ignored his question. “Bring my bags, would you driver?” She gestured airily at a trunk and two large suitcases in the back of the buggy.

  The driver gave her a poisonous look and Jamie sprang forward. “No, let me,” he said. As he reached for her trunk he considered leaving it there and sending her back. But he couldn’t do that to her. He dragged her luggage down and thanked the driver.

  “Have I come to the right place?” Her eyes narrowed as she looked at the house. “Where is your home?”

  If Jamie had ever had any doubts about not marrying Letitia, they were put to rest with that remark. “This is it,” he said, indicating the adobe structure. “This is where I live.”

  “Really, Jamie. I’ve been travelling for four months to get here. Don’t joke.”

  Jamie was starting to enjoy himself. “It’s no joke, Letitia. This is where I live. I love it here.”

  She took in his state of undress, her gaze lingering on his broad shoulders. “I must say you seem to be in excellent condition.” Her pink tongue darted out between her lips and he tried not to laugh.

  “I’ve been working hard at building a pig enclosure.”

  “Pigs?” She leveled those ice blue eyes on him and then laughed. The sound was almost convincing. “You’re jesting, of course.”

  “No, Lettie, I’m not. I have one sow that recently gave birth to a litter of twelve, and I have ten more ready to bring home when I finish the pen. Would you like to see them?”

  “Certainly not.”

  Her superior manners were beginning to annoy him. “Lettie. Where do you think your bacon comes from?”

  She tossed her head. “I don’t eat bacon.”

  He glanced toward the road. The buggy was nowhere in sight, or he might have called it back. Unfortunately, he couldn’t leave her standing here.