Wayward Lady

by Nan Ryan

  32

  The lovers reluctantly returned to camp the next afternoon. Their fascination with and attraction to each other brought amused looks from Kaytano’s hardened men. In all the time they’d ridden with the dark, quiet half-breed, they’d never seen him so enamored of a woman. There had been women through the years, many quite rich and beautiful, and several had thrown themselves openly at the lean, distant man. But Kaytano had never loved any of them. He’d made it clear to each that no woman would ever have his heart, that he had no heart to give.

  To see him now behaving like a lovesick boy was both comical and alarming to the trusting men who took their orders from this man and looked to him for all decisions. They wondered how much the lovely pale woman would change the shrewd, quick-witted Kaytano. And they wondered why, after all the months Suzette had been in camp, had their leader only now become so smitten with her. They all knew that from that very first night she was in the camp, when Kaytano had locked her in the bedroom, he had raped her. Her screams rang throughout the quiet camp, and from that night forward, Kaytano had been sleeping with her. Why after all these months in her bed was he suddenly so captivated?

  Kaytano saw the puzzled looks in the eyes of his men, but he was unruffled. The icy, heartless Kaytano was gone; a happier, hot-blooded man had taken his place. A man so bewitched by the slender, golden beauty that he cared not at all what anyone thought about the two of them. He was interested only in his beautiful mate and made no attempt to hide his infatuation.

  The pair went about the camp holding hands, gazing into each other’s eyes, constantly touching, silently communicating. At mealtime they sat side by side at the table, playfully feeding each other, mindless of those around them. If Kaytano was at the stables, Suzette was there with him. If he went out to cut wood for the coming winter, Suzette sat holding his shirt, her eyes gently caressing the lean, sleek torso as he swung the ax high over his head in the hot sunshine.

  When Kaytano sat in the late evening, his back to a tree, knees bent, feet apart, talking quietly to his men, Suzette sat curled between his legs, her head back against his shoulder, happily listening to his low, deep voice as he discussed plans for their next venture. She was much more interested in the feel of his voice vibrating under her than in what he said.

  At night when they went into their small, airless bedroom, they laughed and played, pulling eagerly at each other’s clothing until both were naked. Then they wrestled among the rumpled bedcovers. The fact that they sometimes said their good-nights at eight o’clock seemed not in the least strange to them. After all, they’d spent the entire long hot day waiting to be in each other’s arms.

  After the evening’s first urgent loving, Kaytano and Suzette enjoyed talking quietly to each other until the wee hours of the morning. Neither had ever been as close to another human being as they were to each other. Despite this closeness, Suzette had not yet demanded an explanation for his capturing her or why after all this time he still held her. She still had no idea why he’d not ransomed her back to Austin. She didn’t know what he would do with her, and she didn’t want to know.

  Suzette was a woman in love, totally, hopelessly, gloriously in love with the surprisingly warm and tender man, and she didn’t want to think of tomorrow. She wanted nothing more than to lie in the moonlight in his strong arms, to lose herself in his beautiful black eyes, to feel the warmth of his brown satiny flesh touching hers as time after time he took her to paradise with his skillful lovemaking.

  Day blended into night and back again and Suzette floated through both at the side of her handsome lover, peaceful and happy, in want of nothing. It was all there with Kaytano; there was no other life.

  She was certain it was the same for Kaytano. He wanted her with him at all times, and any time they could sneak away from camp in the afternoon, he would hurriedly lead her to the cover of the dense trees, or behind a jutting bluff, or maybe just high grass, and take her, murmuring that he could not wait one minute longer to be one with her. Suzette found it hard to worry about being seen; she found it hard to worry about anything or anyone when his tall, lean body was pressing hers and his low, resonant voice was urging her to give herself to him.

  And so it was that Kaytano made love to Suzette in every place in or near the camp and in every way a man can love a woman. Each new place and every new way brought delight to the eager young woman who adored him and craved his caresses with an urgency that equaled his. He had only to touch her hand or gaze into her eyes and she was his for the taking.

  When on one warm night Kaytano seemed unusually quiet and pensive, Suzette grew concerned. His dark eyes held that distant look that had been absent since they had fallen into each other’s arms. He’d had little to say all afternoon, though she’d tickled and teased him and tried to make him laugh. She’d asked him repeatedly if something were bothering him, and each time he’d dismissed her question. When she began to yawn and feel sleepy, she put her arm around his neck and said, “Kaytano, don’t you think it’s bedtime?”

  Unsmiling, he looked at her. “Go on. I’ll be in later.”

  “No.” She shook her head. “I’ll wait for you.”

  “Suzette, go to bed. I’m going to take a walk. I’ll be there shortly.”

  “But, Kaytano, can’t I go with you? I’ll walk with you and…”

  “No.” His voice was strange. “Go to bed, Suzette. I will come soon.”

  That was the end of it. He took her to their room and hardly let his lips graze her cheek before he turned and was gone. Uneasy, Suzette undressed and got into bed, trying to understand what could be upsetting him. She had no intention of going to sleep before he came to their room, but when an hour had passed and he had not yet come, she fell asleep. The next thing she knew, Kaytano was gently shaking her awake. “Suzette, wake up. I want you to get dressed.”

  Looking up at him, she had by now forgotten about his strange mood. She smiled sleepily and murmured, “Honey, get in bed.”

  “No. Get dressed. We’ll ride out of camp.”

  Suzette put her fingers to the buttons of his shirt. “Kaytano, no. I’m sleepy and tired. There’s no need to leave camp. Get undressed and love me here.”

  Kaytano pulled her hands away and rose. He threw back the sheet covering her and yanked her to her feet. “I said get dressed.”

  Suzette stared up at him. Those dark intense eyes made her bite her lip to keep from speaking. Kaytano handed her clothes to her and waited impatiently while she put them on. The memory of his earlier behavior came back to her and she began to feel panicky. Something was definitely wrong with him. But what? Nothing could have happened that she didn’t know about. Perhaps she was worrying needlessly. Maybe Kaytano wanted to take her once again from camp to spend some time alone with her. That was it. He wanted her to himself again the way it had been before. There was nothing to worry about. They would ride out and make love, then sleep along the river. It would be wonderful, just as before.

  Yawning, Suzette let Kaytano lift her up onto Darkness’s back. Her trepidation fading, she leaned back against her lover and dozed while they climbed out of the canyon. But once they reached the top, Kaytano continued to press his faithful horse farther into the desert. Suzette awoke and looked about. All around them she saw draws, streams, and grassy places. She hoped he’d soon find a place for them to sleep; she was tired of riding and longed to lie down once again.

  They continued to ride, Kaytano silently neck-reining Darkness, his jaw set, his eyes narrowed. He said nothing to Suzette and she could feel the tenseness of his chest. Once again, she was uneasy. Still they rode until Suzette was exhausted and the approaching dawn began turning the western sky a gun-metal gray. They were now on open, flat desert, far away from Robber’s Roost.

  Kaytano pulled up on the reins and dismounted. Suzette looked at him and, without thinking, said irritably, “Good Lord, Kaytano, why here? Are you planning to spend the night here, where there’s no shade or privacy, where w
e can be seen from miles away?”

  He gave no reply. He pulled her down from the horse and unsaddled the big black beast. Wordlessly, Kaytano spread the blanket on the ground and ordered her to disrobe. Casting a wary eye about her, she looked at him and said, “No, Kaytano. Please, let’s don’t…”

  “I want you,” he said quietly and pulled off all his clothes. He stood naked in the dawn, waiting for Suzette to undress. Her fingers shaking, she nervously worried the buttons and wondered at the hair standing on the back of her neck. As soon as her clothes were off, he pulled her down and was on top of her. For the first time, there was no tenderness in his lovemaking. Like a fierce animal he took her, his flesh hard and unyielding.

  Unshed tears shining in her eyes, Suzette looked at his hard, handsome face for an answer, a motive for his actions. Gone was the warm, loving man she’d come to idolize; the face above hers was the cruel Kaytano. His icy expression matched the disregard his body and mouth had for hers. His loving was not loving at all; rather punishment, as though he wished to hurt her, to humiliate her.

  “Kaytano,” she breathed, and put a hand up into his black hair, “what is it? Why are you doing this to me?”

  He refused to answer. He moved more violently within her and his mouth came down on hers, hard and insistent. He was kissing her with rage, taking from her, bruising her tender lips.

  The torment continued and Suzette cried quietly while he pounded into her and his mouth plundered hers. She tried to toss her head, but his hand came to her hair, holding her still. He lifted his face to look at her, a muscle working furiously in his lean jaw. Long after her arms had fallen away from him and she lay motionless under him, he continued with his brutal thrusts. His mouth was back on hers, invading, demanding, brutalizing.

  When at last Kaytano shuddered and moaned, his body spasming on hers, the sun was well up into the sky. He rolled off Suzette, gasping and perspiring. She turned onto her side, her slender body jerking with soft sobs. When finally he said her name, it was the first time he’d spoken throughout the savage coupling. “You must get dressed now.”

  Shakily, Suzette rose and put on her clothes. Behind her, Kaytano watched her closely as he stepped into his trousers. Remaining shirtless, he called for Darkness. The horse came immediately and Kaytano saddled him. He turned to Suzette and saw the look of hurt and bewilderment on her lovely face. Avoiding her eyes, he came to her carrying his gunbelt. He slipped it around her hips and buckled it. She said nothing. She was afraid to say anything; she had no idea what he might do next.

  “Suzette,” he said barely above a whisper, “I’m setting you free. You’ve food and water; the canteen’s full. My hunting knife is on the saddle. I’ve given you my gun and gunbelt. I’m letting you have Darkness.” At the mention of his name, the big horse nudged Kaytano’s bare shoulder. “If you ride due north, you’ll be in Murphysville by tonight. When you arrive, you can wire your husband.”

  She shook her head as though to clear it. “Why? Kaytano, why? I thought you…”

  “How can you stand there questioning me? I just got through brutally using you, degrading you. I’m bored with you, I want you to go. Go back where you belong. I don’t need you and I don’t want you. You’ve become a burden. Go, you’ll be safe.” His black, glittery eyes showed no emotion.

  “Kaytano, please. I…I love you, I…” Suzette threw her arms around his neck. “Darling, I don’t want to go. Let me stay with you.”

  Coldly jerking her arms away, he lifted her onto Darkness and handed her the reins. “I’m giving you your freedom, dammit! Get away from me.” He stepped back and gave Darkness a whack on the rump. “Go!” he shouted as the horse thundered away.

  Her heart breaking, Suzette sobbed, but she dug her heels into the horse’s flanks. Her pride at last surfacing, she longed to get as far away from the cruel dark man as possible. She wanted to leave him far behind, never again to see him or think about him. She rode to the north, her hair flying about her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. Blood pounded in her throbbing temples and she told herself she hated and despised Kaytano. She opened her mouth and shouted out her anguish. “I hate you, Kaytano. I hate you!”

  Kaytano stood, bare-chested and barefoot, indifferent to the crying girl speeding away on his black horse. For the past twenty-four hours he’d been planning for this moment. He had told himself that it would not be difficult. He would take her on the ground, brutalize her so that she would hate him. Then he’d put her on Darkness and send her home. She’d be elated to be free and she’d rush headlong across the northern Chihuahuan desert, leaving him, never looking back. He would watch her disappear and it wouldn’t bother him. He’d be much more upset to lose Darkness than Suzette Brand.

  Why now that his plan was reality did he feel this coldness in the pit of his belly? Why was his chest aching painfully, his eyes burning? Why did he feel the sun would never again rise, that if she rode out of sight, she’d take with her the breath from his body?

  Kaytano spoke her name. And he started walking. Then he was shouting her name and running as fast as he could, mindless of the stones and underbrush bruising his bare feet. He didn’t feel the cuts and scrapes; he felt nothing but panic. Suzette glanced over her shoulder and saw him. Rage now dictated to her and she kicked the horse anew, determined to leave the ruthless savage far behind.

  “Suzette, come back!” Kaytano shouted, his heart pounding. “I didn’t mean it! Come back, please, please come back!”

  Confused by his change of heart, Suzette sobbed louder and continued to kick the big horse, slapping the reins, urging him on. Behind her Kaytano was determined to catch her. He had to. He couldn’t let her go. Right or wrong, foolish or fair, he had to have Suzette. She was his and he was going to keep her forever. “Darling,” he called, gasping for breath, “I love you. Dear God, please. Suzette!”

  “No!” she screamed over her shoulder. “No! You’re mean and cruel and I hate you!” Even as she shouted, she looked back at him and knew she loved him as she’d never loved another.

  Kaytano was losing ground. Fleet-footed though he was, he was no match for the big black stallion galloping across the desert. He knew it was a matter of minutes before he would fall, unable to go farther. Suzette refused to listen to his desperate pleas. There was only one thing he could do.

  Kaytano stopped running. Fighting for breath, he put his fingers to his lips and whistled for Darkness. As though there was no one on his back, Darkness came to an abrupt halt, almost tossing Suzette over his neck. The horse slowly turned in a semicircle, while Suzette sobbed louder and begged the stubborn beast to run. She dug her heels into his middle and shouted commands, quickly growing hysterical.

  Darkness paid her no mind. He looked at the tall, brown man whistling to him and whinnied. He began to prance toward Kaytano. Kaytano, his chest heaving, shouted to the horse. “That’s right, boy, come to me! Bring her back. Come, Darkness.”

  When finally Suzette realized exactly what was happening, she screamed louder and jumped from the horse. She fell when she hit the ground, but was up immediately, running. In seconds Kaytano caught up with her. He grabbed her and together they fell. She struggled, screaming pitifully when he crawled atop her. Her tear-stained face was pressed against his bare shoulder. He said nothing, nor did he move until she quieted. Only then did he raise his head. Suzette looked up at him and felt her heart stop for a full minute.

  His handsome face was filled with pain and his beautiful eyes were filled with tears. She raised her fingers to his face. His lips went to her palm as his eyes closed tightly and he said simply, “Please.”

  “Kaytano,” she breathed and pulled his face to hers. She kissed him with all the love she felt for him and heard him moan into her mouth.

  “Suzette”—he struggled to speak—“I love you. Don’t leave me, I don’t want to live without you. I can’t…”

  “My darling,” she whispered soothingly, “I could never leave you. I love you,
Kaytano, more than my own life. I didn’t want to go, but you…you hurt me and you said you didn’t want me.”

  Kaytano put his hands to the sides of her head. “Oh, God, Suzette, are you okay? Did I hurt you, my love?” He moved a hand down over her slender body.

  “No, not physically, Kaytano. But you humiliated me and I thought…”

  “Darling, I’ll make it up to you.” He was kissing her then, his lips warm and very tender, brushing her mouth, her nose, her cheeks, her wet eyelids. “I love you so much, that’s why I decided to let you go, but I couldn’t do it. I can’t, Suzette. I can’t.”

  “Shoo! Darling, don’t. I’ll never leave you. Oh, Kaytano, I love you.”

  While the sun climbed higher in the clear blue sky, the two lovers lay in the sand consoling each other. They clung desperately to each other until both had quieted. Tears had dried, sobs had become soft declarations of undying love. Darkness sniffed and nuzzled the prostrate pair until Kaytano lifted his head, smiling. Kissing Suzette’s temple, he murmured, “Darkness thinks we’ve gone mad.”

  Smiling at him, Suzette traced a thick, dark eyebrow with two fingers. “Perhaps he’s right. If we are mad, let’s remain so. Being sane was always such a bore.”

  Kaytano rolled to a sitting position and smiled down at her. “It’s time we had a talk, love. I’ve a lot to explain, to tell you. If you’ll help me get back to my boots, we’ll hunt for a nice, private place to spend the day.”

  “Kaytano,” she breathed and moved to sit beside him. She put her hands on his feet and said, “Oh, Kaytano.” She leaned down and began kissing his injured feet.

  Nothing she’d ever done touched him so much. He pulled her up and murmured “Suzette, it’s I who should be kissing your feet.”

  She laughed and said, “You’ve kissed my feet many times, my darling. Come.” She rose and put out her hand. “Lean on me, Kaytano. I can take care of you.”

  Standing beside her, he draped an arm around her shoulder. “Know something? You look kind of cute with a gunbelt around your hips. Now, come, we’ll find a stream. I’ve a long story to tell you.”