Laugh or Death (Lexi Graves Mysteries Book 6)

by Camilla Chafer

  "For what it's worth, I don't think you're any of those things even if you do have rich parents and fabulous hair." Parents, I reminded myself, who were too busy to attend Lily's wedding. Or anything else Lily did. That was largely the reason my family semi-adopted her while we were in high school. We couldn't bear to think of her all alone in her family's huge house while we were loudly, lovingly, squashed into our own, much smaller one.

  "I think we should follow him."

  "Why? To see if he's going to consult a lawyer?"

  "No. To see if he's behind the robberies. He's just the kind who thinks stealing is okay."

  I eased my foot out of the bucket and poked my big toe. It had a beautiful shade of pink polish across the nail, but zero feeling. Clearly, I'd iced my foot too long, so I laid it on the towel Lily found for me and wrapped it gently. "Do you think he's smart enough?"

  "Not sure. I do think he's enough of a dick to try getting away with it."

  "Kind of close to home to rob your own bar."

  "My bar. And he quit. Do you think he could have been one of the men who shot up your date night? There were two of them, right? His partner could have been the same guy pretending to rob him."

  "I don't know. Maybe. I guess he's tall enough and has the right kind of build, but I've never really observed him very closely."

  "I checked the employee roster and he was always at work right before those other robberies happened."

  "They all happened during off hours, except for yours and the restaurant."

  "Yeah, I know, but it means he would always be able to say he was on his way home from work if anyone stopped him, or asked what he was doing out at that time. He got out of the hospital right before the restaurant was robbed."

  "That's a good point, but..." I paused, thinking. Lily's bar had a different MO from all the other robberies. The money was snatched during the daylight hours and Kyle sustained an injury. There were witnesses. I said as much to Lily, and asked, "Why would he change his pattern?"

  "Greed? Maybe he got cocky? Maybe my bar was the last one they hit, and his injury gave him an excuse to quit and take off without any questions asked?"

  I had to agree that those were all valid points, but why Kyle would so brazenly commit a theft from his own place of employment still puzzled me. "It wouldn't hurt to check him out," I decided.

  "Check him out?" Lily repeated, slamming her fist down on the desk. "Let's take the bastard down!"

  Chapter Ten

  I had to raincheck "taking the bastard down" in order to tackle my actual caseload. Considering Maddox's idea that I should go "back to basics," and Solomon's order to "rest," I headed home and eased my foot onto a soft pillow on the couch. Fortunately, the thin streak of purple across the upper and outer side of my foot told me bruising was minimal, but the unsightly scuff on the edge of my shoe didn't look as promising. I wondered if I could charge a new pair of heels as a professional expense. After all, they got injured while I was on duty.

  With my notepad in hand, I made a list of all the things I knew about Nancy since her arrival in Montgomery, including the places she went and the people she spoke to. It was a short list. One thing I felt sure of was: Joelle knew a lot more than she let on, but apparently, she still wasn't convinced I could help. That made things awkward. I had to hope that she would lead Fletcher to Nancy's location, and soon. More than anything else, I needed to talk to Nancy and find out why she didn't want to be found. Perhaps, I decided, I was talking to the wrong person at Pretty Paws. Perhaps one of the other employees would have been more forthcoming. I reached for my phone and placed a call. "Lucas?"

  "At your service," he replied, "sort of."

  "Sort of is fine. Can you get me an employee list for Pretty Paws? Maybe from their computer?"

  "I can, but not from their computer since I'm guessing it's fried. I'll try..."

  "Don't tell me if it's not legal."

  "Do you need anything else?"

  "Nope, that's it."

  "I'll call you back."

  Lucas called ten minutes later with a list of names. I guessed from their surnames that two employees were related to Joelle. I figured, given Joelle's attitude towards me, her family members would be another lost cause. Nancy was also listed. There were three more names, but since Lucas didn't supply me with job titles, I couldn't guess their positions. However, he did provide their last known addresses, so that was something. I resolved to chase them down the next day, after getting an early night and resting my foot some more.

  ~

  I was out the door and parked outside Emily Gates’ home by eight am the next day. My feet were delicately encased in a super cute pair of sky-blue ballet pumps. With my pale pink pants and white blouse, I felt pretty fabulous. I mentally thanked Lily for all those times she forced me to work out at the gym. My abs were tight, my buns were high, and even my arms showed some definition.

  Just I was making up my mind about whether to watch the house awhile or approach it, the door opened and a man walked out. A little kid ran after him and I watched him pick the boy up, swing him around, kiss his head, and deposit him back into the arms of his wife, my target. The woman and little boy waved as the man climbed into his car and took off before the house door closed. I couldn't help smiling at the sweet scene and wondered if one day, I might have a little family of my own.

  Before I indulged that fantasy too long, I walked over and knocked on the door. When Emily opened it, I launched into my identification before explaining, "I need to ask you a few questions about your colleague, Nancy Grant."

  "Nancy? Well, sure. Is she okay? I haven't seen her in a few days, but with the fire and all... Come inside," she invited me, opening the door a little wider so I could step through.

  "I think she's fine, but it's important I find her."

  "And you thought I might know how to?" Emily asked as I followed her to the kitchen. The little boy was perched at the table, eating toast, a half glass of milk next to the plate. The other half of the milk appeared to be on his upper lip and around his mouth. He gave me a milky smile, so I waved.

  "I hoped you might."

  "She lives in the apartment above Pretty Paws. Well, lived. I guess you heard about the fire?"

  I assured her I did and agreed that it was terrible.

  "It was lucky no one was hurt. Apparently, the other tenants were either not home or got evacuated in time. Do you think Nancy...?" Panic crossed her face.

  "No," I shook my head, "We know for sure Nancy wasn't in the apartment when the fire started."

  "Oh, that's a relief."

  "How come she had the apartment above the grooming parlor?"

  "It was available, and no one else wanted it. Most of us all have families, you see, so the owner decided to use it as a job incentive. There was a little clause attached, but I guess Nancy didn't mind."

  "What kind of clause?"

  "Just that she had to keep an eye on the place overnight. Sometimes kids would try to break in. I think they erroneously assumed we were like the vets and might have had drugs on the premises. There's nothing worth stealing anyway."

  "So Nancy took the job and the apartment and acted like their night watchman?"

  "Yeah." Emily paused to wipe her son's face and hands before replacing his plate and cup with a wooden jigsaw puzzle. He handed a piece to me, which was shaped like a tree so I made a show of trying a few wrong shapes before I found the right one and wriggled it into place. His mother gave me an appreciative glance as she rinsed his breakfast dishes.

  "What can you tell me about Nancy?"

  "In all honesty, not much. She kind of kept to herself. Sometimes, a few of us would take lunch together, especially when it was quiet, but she didn't come along very often. Mostly, she went for a walk at lunch, or hung out with Joelle. That's our receptionist. They seemed friendly, so Joelle might know more than I do."

  "Do you know where Nancy walked to?"

  "No, only that it couldn't be fa
r because she was never late getting back. She was really eager to help and good with the dogs. Whenever one of us needed to swap a shift, Nancy was always the first person to ask. She was really great like that."

  "Do you think she needed the money?"

  "I don't know. Maybe. I don't think she had much of a social life, so she must’ve had a lot of free time. I guess she made extra money when she worked one of our shifts."

  "Did you ever notice what she spent her money on? Like, did she come to the store with new bags? Clothes? Books?"

  Emily shook her head. "Not that I ever noticed. She seemed pretty frugal."

  "What else can you tell me about her?"

  "That's it, though..." Emily paused. "It's probably nothing."

  "Tell me anyway. It might be more important than you think."

  "I don't see how, but sure. Sometimes, I'd call Nancy's name and she wouldn't turn around until I was pretty much next to her saying, 'hey, Nancy, didn't you hear me?' and she'd make out like she was concentrating, but it did make me wonder more than once if she was hard of hearing. That's not at all helpful, sorry."

  "No, I'm happy you mentioned it. Thanks for your time. I really appreciate it."

  "If I see Nancy, should I let her know you're looking for her?"

  "Yes, please," I said, handing Emily my card. "And tell her she's not in any trouble. My client just wants to know that she's okay."

  I waited until I was back in my VW before I called Solomon. "I tried calling you last night," he said upon answering. "Where were you?"

  "Home. I went to bed early and woke up fabulous. What did you do?"

  "Spent the evening watching Leo Chandler walk around town."

  "Bet you wish you were in my bed."

  "You know I do."

  "So what did Leo do? Did he commit any crimes?"

  "Only if being too boring were a crime. He just strolled around town, had dinner by himself at Alessandro's and read a book. Then he returned to his hotel."

  "That confirms it. He's a master of evil."

  "He'll slip up, eventually. They always do."

  "Speaking of which, I just interviewed one of Nancy's colleagues. Do we have anything on file about her being hearing impaired?"

  "Not that I recall."

  "Me neither. Did Fletcher get any luck with Joelle?"

  "Nope. She hasn't left her apartment since your run-in with her. Delgado took over an hour ago."

  "I'll check in with him soon."

  "By phone. We don't want to spook Joelle. What's your next move?"

  "I'm going to interrogate two more Pretty Paws employees; then I promised Lily I'd help with surveillance on her ex-employee."

  "What for?" asked Solomon. "This your pro bono thing?"

  "Uh-huh. She thinks he's behind all the bar and restaurant robberies."

  Solomon sighed. "Seriously?"

  "Yep. And, you know, she's got good reasons to think he might have something to do with them. He flouted her rules for depositing the bar's takings, he's the only real witness to Lily's robbery, and his shift ended right before every robbery took place, except the restaurant, which occurred after he was released from hospital. He's the right height and build for the our date night robbery too."

  "Well, have fun with that," said Solomon, not sounding at all worried. There was only one reason he wouldn't be worried about Lily and me following around armed thieves: if he strongly doubted that Kyle was involved. Fortunately, I had to send a quiet, telepathic agreement. "Let me know if either of you get kidnapped and need rescuing."

  "Will do," I promised.

  "Can you solve the case by three pm?"

  "Maybe."

  "Good. I called a meeting with Leo at four. It would be good to run though what we've found so far and watch his reactions. I'd like to go over your case notes, and we'll drip feed a few things to him."

  "Might be hard to weed out a few things from not a lot."

  "Maybe you'll know more by three. Don't get kidnapped!"

  After promising I wouldn't, I said a few really mushy things that didn't bear repeating before I hung up. I stuck the car in drive and headed a few miles east to my next target. That meeting didn't bear fruit. Not only had the employee worked at Pretty Paws for scarcely a month, but she also barely seemed to know who Nancy was. After leaving her with my card, and the usual instructions to contact me if she heard anything, I hightailed it over to my final employee interview.

  "Yeah, sure, I know Nancy. Nice girl," said Manny, the only male employee of Pretty Paws, after I gave him my spiel. He wore a Pretty Paws t-shirt with jeans and sneakers and seemed to be in his mid-twenties. He was clean-shaven and his hair was styled just so. He was cute. My life was so hard. "Why are you looking for her again?"

  "Just to make sure she's okay and to reunite her with my client."

  "Sweet. I wish I could help, but I don't know where she is."

  "Do you know of anywhere she might be?"

  "She's tight with Joelle. She may know, but I'm not comfortable giving you Joelle’s address without her permission."

  "No problem," I replied, since I had it already. I also didn't mention that my colleague had his eyes glued to her building. I doubted it would make Manny feel more comfortable. "Did Nancy mention any other friends close by that she might be staying with? Possibly out of state?"

  "Not to me, but I really didn't get to know her all that well. She kept to herself, if you know what I mean."

  I assured him I did, but I didn't think he was really listening as he carried on. "You know, she was always kind of cagey. Like, I asked her once if she had a boyfriend and she snapped at me; and then another time, I asked her about her family, and she just switched topics. It was like she didn't want anyone to know anything personal about her."

  "Maybe she didn't. Did she tell you anything at all about herself?"

  "Now that I think about it, not really. Actually, there was this one thing..." Manny paused, wrinkling his nose like he was thinking very hard.

  "Go on..."

  Manny sighed. "It was probably nothing, but I overheard her talking on the phone once. She was in the break room and I needed my spare clippers for this giant poodle that came in. I don't think she realized I was in there... anyway, she said something like, ‘no, everyone knows me as Nancy here’ and then something like, ‘I know, I know, but it was the only name I could think of that no one would look for.’ Then she saw me and looked terrified, so I just, you know, asked her if she’d seen my clippers and pretended I didn't hear anything. That's weird, isn't it?"

  I agreed that it was weird and asked a few more questions, but Manny didn't know anything else. He did offer me a future discount on any dog grooming since he planned to set up his own mobile business. I took his business card, deciding to give it to my neighbor for his dog, and left him with my own card.

  My next stop was across the city at the edge of Frederickstown. I was seeking the address Lily texted me. By the time I got there, parking behind her Mini, and sliding into her passenger seat, it was clear Lily had been on surveillance for some time. There were two used coffee cups on the floor and four candy wrappers, plus, one large, empty packet of chips. "Did you save any for me?" I asked, poking the wrappers with my toe.

  "I did two hours ago." Lily paused and gulped. "Until I ate them. Now I have to pee."

  "That's your penance."

  "I know. Watch the house with the white door while I go to the cafe down the block and use their restroom." Lily was out of the car and jogging towards the cafe before I could reply. Since I didn't have much else to do while I waited, I stared intently at the house with the white door. It was a narrow, two-story house with a grassy yard enclosed by a chain link fence. The paint was peeling on the door, but other than that, it was neat and rather dull. It didn't look like the guarded lair of bank robbers, but then again, I wasn't sure what did.

  Judging by the closed blinds and lack of movement, I got the impression that no one had gotten out of be
d yet, which meant Lily probably had a very dull morning for her surveillance. I asked her that when she got back in the car and got an eye roll in response. "I know it's him," she said with absolute certainty. "All I have to do is wait."

  "You can't watch him constantly."

  "That's why you're here."

  "I have a case."

  "Yeah. This one."

  "No, my missing woman case."

  "Did you find her?"

  "Nope."

  "Bet you're glad you're here now. We know where this guy is!" Lily beamed.

  "All we know for certain about your guy is that he's recently unemployed."

  "We also know he’s a late riser. Maybe because he commits robberies in the wee hours of the morning." Lily gave me a knowing look.

  "Was there a robbery last night?" I asked, semi-hopeful.

  "Umm... no."

  "Hmmm."

  "That doesn't mean anything though. Maybe he's having a sleep-in so that he can commit a robbery tonight."

  "Kind of a long shot."

  "You're still here though, so you don't think it's completely unheard of."

  I had to think for a moment about my motivation in joining Lily on her stakeout. On one hand, I did agree that it was suspicious for Kyle to quit so suddenly, but there had to be a whole host of explanations that could be used to explain his decision, not least of which that he'd been injured during the course of a robbery. However, with her investigation into his working schedule, and the timing of the robberies, not to mention Lily's own theft, I had to concede that it was worth checking him out. "I could investigate his background while you watch him," I offered. "Maybe something will come up from his past."

  "I run checks on all my employees, and I got references from his previous job."

  "Maybe he hid something."

  "Do you think he has a criminal record? He didn't declare one."