Guilt Trip

by Pat Simmons

  “My mother-in-law and I are praying for you and your happiness. God’s going to take care of you and that gorgeous baby, so lean on Him.” Eva paused. “If you start crying, I’ll start. Then Kevin will be mad and take it out on Ace because he would be the cause of it.”

  Talise burst out laughing. “Can you ask him to get in a left hook for me?”

  Eva giggled. “I’ll put your request in.” They chuckled. “Say I’ve been on bed rest for weeks and I’m pretty bored.”

  Talise gasped. From reading her baby books, women who were on bed rest ran some type of risks. “Is your baby okay?” she asked, concerned.

  “Oh, yes. I had a little spotting at first. Kevin didn’t want to take any chances and tried to convince the doctor that I not only needed medical leave, but should stay in bed. That man got on my nerves, so we reached a compromise. The doctor said I didn’t need to go on medical leave, just light duty as an LPN. Once the doctor gives the okay, I’ll probably be off bed rest too.”

  How odd that Talise had suddenly become concerned about someone she didn’t know. She never had any spotting and, according to Dr. Sherman, she and her baby were fine. Praise God, as Sinclaire would say about the Lord’s goodness and mercy.

  “I haven’t been to Beantown in a while. Maybe I can fly up, so we can go baby shopping and baby eating. I can spend the night at Sandra’s. You should come over, so we can have a pregnant PJ party. I’ll have Kevin check the air rates.”

  Where Sandra was extending an olive branch, Eva seemed ready to plant a tree. Talise liked her and would welcome the company of a fellow expecting mother who didn’t question the paternity of her pregancy.

  She was going to throw caution to the wind. Talise needed a getaway. She had planned to visit her dad and his wife in Virginia in a few weeks, but that could be put on hold. The thought of swapping pregnancy tidbits with another expectant mother was too appealing to resist. Suddenly, it appeared as though she had a Jamieson solidly on her side. Amazing.

  “I’ll tell you what. Since you’ve been on bed rest, I can fly to St. Louis. I work for an airline, so it won’t cost me anything. It’ll have to be in the middle of the week when I’m off.”

  “Don’t worry about a place to stay because—”

  “Oh no, I won’t be spending the night. I’ll come for lunch and then fly right back.”

  “Then let’s make it a girls’ day out.”

  As Talise listened to Eva’s bubbling personality, she was reminded of a high-strung, high school cheerleader. Instead of a nap rejuvenating her, the phone call had not only lifted her spirits, but gave Talise a surge of new energy.

  “I’m so excited, I can hardly wait! I feel like jumping up and doing a praise dance,” Eva exclaimed.

  Talise giggled and reprimanded her, “Don’t you dare! You’re on bed rest, remember?” For the first time, she actually looked forward to meeting a Jamieson.

  “Thanks for not hanging up on me. When Sandra called me, she sounded a little sad. She didn’t think she’d made a good first impression with you,” Eva confided, “but she’s on your side.”

  Talise really didn’t have a problem with Sandra. It was who she represented—Ace. Plus, as the doctor and Lois had sternly reminded her today, Talise needed Ace’s medical history. “Do you think Sandra would want to come with me?”

  “She’d jump at the opportunity.”

  Almost instantly, she had second thoughts. “But it’ll be in the middle of the week.”

  “Trust me. Sandra will still jump,” Eva assured her.

  “Then I guess I’ll call and invite her,” Talise said. “I’ll plan to come next week. But there’s one condition.”

  “Name it.”

  “Under no circumstances do I want to see Ace or be within ten feet of him.”

  “Done. That’s Ace’s mess to clean up, not ours.”

  When Lois walked through the door later that evening, Talise was all smiles.

  “What’s up with you?” She eyed her suspiciously.

  “I’m going to St. Louis.” Talise began to recap the entire conversation while they ate dinner. “So, what do you think?”

  Lois didn’t answer right away. “Well, I’m surprised, considering earlier today and last night you were adamant about staying as far away from anyone with the last name Jamieson, Jamison, Jemison, or any derivation thereof.”

  “True.”

  “My biggest concern is Ace, since he lives there now. What’s got me worried is he could upset you. How do you plan to handle that?”

  After draining the rest of her glass of milk, Talise gave the question some serious consideration. “Maybe, just maybe, I spoke too harshly about the Jamiesons. It’s Ace who’s the jerk. His mother and his sister-in-law reached out to me. I don’t think they’ll let him do that.”

  “Hmm-mm. One phone call and you did a one-eighty?” Lois pushed away from the table and folded her arms. When she lifted one brow, Talise knew her roommate wasn’t convinced.

  “When I met with Sandra, I know I couldn’t get pass the ‘ifs.’ But when I spoke with Eva, she jumped right in there. I didn’t detect any sign of doubt in her mind that she was suspicious of me. Basically, like you said, my baby will be part Jamieson. No one can change that. Not even me.”

  Talise had all afternoon to reflect on the last couple of months without Ace. “I have to move on. He isn’t coming back and my objective is not to go to St. Louis and get him back. I’m hoping it will lessen the blow to my baby’s self-esteem to know that it wasn’t the entire Jamieson clan who didn’t want him or her, just one bad apple. Unfortunately, it will be the most important apple.”

  “Sounds like you’ve really made up your mind. Do you want me to go with you?”

  Talise shook her head and smiled. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m going to ask Sandra if she wants to go with me. I’m planning to make it a day trip and come back the same day. Don’t worry I put Eva on notice. If I come face-to-face with Ace, then they’ve failed my trust test.”

  “Well,” Lois declared, as she stood and began to gather up their dirty dishes. “I’m scared to ask, but what is their penalty if they fail?”

  “I don’t know, but I refuse to use my child as a bargaining chip.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  God bless Eva. Sandra praised the Lord when she accepted Talise’s invitation to accompany her to St. Louis.

  Her daughter-in-law was able to connect with Talise where Sandra could not. Although it would be a one-day turnaround for Talise, Sandra decided to make it a four-day weekend trip and spend some time with her family. Both of her sons were clueless about what Eva had concocted.

  The two-and-a-half hour flight would give Sandra another chance to get to know Ace’s ex-girlfriend. She was on a mission, with or without the evidence that Talise was carrying Ace’s baby. Sandra felt the Lord urging her to be a spiritual light to the woman. That order took precedence over a possible grandmother-grandchild relationship.

  When they were at the restaurant, Talise mentioned that her mother was deceased. Although Sandra wouldn’t dare attempt to replace such a coveted position in any woman’s life, the most she could hope for would be a lasting friendship.

  At nine o’clock on Thursday morning, Sandra and Talise settled in their seats in preparation for takeoff.

  “Thanks again for inviting me. I was hoping I hadn’t scared you off,” Sandra said, as she clicked her seatbelt.

  Twisting her mouth, Talise appeared thoughtful before responding. “You didn’t scare me off, I felt antagonized.”

  “That wasn’t my intention. I’ve been praying that we could connect.”

  “Sandra, I have a sister who is praying for me, a hair client who is praying for me, and for all I know, my obstetrician could be praying for me too. Besides all of that, I’m even praying for me. Still, I’m clueless about what’s going on in my life.”

  Squeezing her lips in frustration, Talise rubbed her stomach. It seemed to relax her. “I
’m going to have to eat crow now. I would have called you eventually because my doctor would like to have some basic medical history on Ace to put in my file.”

  Ace’s mother nodded and chuckled. “Tell me what you need. And here I thought my daughter-in-law’s engaging personality and the fact that she’s also pregnant won you over.”

  “It helped,” Talise responded and grinned.

  “Good. Either way, I thank God for giving us another chance at friendship.”

  “I don’t know, Sandra. Friendship is mutually earned. You still have concerns about me. And to be honest, Ace scarred me with trust issues. I admit, after speaking with Eva, my opinion of the Jamiesons moved up a notch, but I’m still leery.”

  “That’s understandable.”

  “I mentioned to my sister how Eva and I bonded, and she told me to go for it.”

  Thank God for sisters, Sandra thought.

  “Sinclaire has an amazing portion of blind faith. She reminded me that my pregnancy isn’t about me, but my baby’s future. My child will want and need to know his or her cousins.”

  Talise went on to chat freely about her sister serving in the air force. Without Sandra’s prompting, she opened up about her family in Virginia, her career aspirations, and her passion as a stylist.

  While Talise relaxed, Sandra shared how she coped after the deaths of her parents. She also talked about the joys of motherhood. Although she tried to limit mentioning Ace, it was a struggle.

  This time being more upfront about her position, Sandra explained, “I can’t change what happened between you and my son. As a mother—Aaron’s mother—I don’t want to interfere. I just want to see him right any wrongs between the two of you.”

  “You don’t think you’re interfering a little bit now?” Talise asked, lifting a brow.

  Sandra wasn’t sure if she was being teased or challenged. Adjusting her seatbelt, she stalled in answering. Jesus, allow Talise to warm to me—and to trust me. Help me not take offense to her reaction to me. Amen.

  “I definitely have my nose in someone else’s business—yours. Sometimes I think of myself as a poster child for single parents. I’ve been there, done that, seen that, and survived that. Did I get it right all the time—no, but I’m rooting for you. I want your life to be filled with happiness, not heartache. I can promise you that, no matter what happens, I’ll be in your corner as a friend.”

  Their conversation ceased as the flight crew demonstrated the safety measures. Sandra bowed her head and silently prayed for their safe travel.

  “Hey, Talise.” She was being greeted by a short, perky flight attendant with big blonde hair and a petite body. “What ya having today? The usual when you fly?” The attendant’s eyes twinkled with mischief.

  “You’ve got it, Sal. Cranberry juice on the rocks.” Scrunching her nose, Talise leaned closer and whispered, “And make that a double.”

  The woman laughed and winked. “Sure thing. And you, madam?”

  Sandra declined.

  When the attendant moved on, Talise identified her as an after-thought. “Sally Porter’s a doll. She’s one of the nicest persons I’ve ever worked with.”

  “I’m curious to know what your roommate thinks. Lois, right?

  Sally returned with the drink order. Reaching over, she handed Talise her cup. Sandra assisted in pulling back the makeshift table for her.

  After taking a sip of the chilled juice, Talise answered in a nonchalant manner. “Lois has mixed feelings, like me. But she has a slight tendency to hold a grudge. Right now, she’s barely speaking to Cameron for his role in misrepresenting Ace’s character.”

  Sandra held her tongue. It was okay for her to bad-mouth her own sons. She had to hold her breath when it came from others. Lord, let her see how uncomfortable it is for me to hear negative comments about my flesh and blood.

  Without letting up, Talise kept talking. “She’s under the mindset that one bad apple spoils the whole bunch. And Cameron is a Jamieson. Lois has been a good friend to me since I’ve moved here, and now she’s planted that seed of doubt.” Talise raised a brow. “I’m hoping this isn’t a setup. Sinclaire would like to prove Lois wrong.”

  “Aaron doesn’t know we’re coming. Even Eva’s husband has no clue,” Sandra assured her. “You can trust Eva and me.”

  “But not Ace ever again, and that’s okay. I can do this all by myself.”

  Talise played with her hands. If she was anything like Sandra, she was probably trying to convince herself that she didn’t need the father in her child’s life. Rubbing her stomach again, Talise glanced out the window as if something caught her attention.

  Sandra stole the opportunity to scrutinize her stomach. In a sleeveless blue top and loose gypsy skirt, there was still no outward sign of a protruding pouch. Possibly because of her frame, maybe five-eight in heels, she might be spared the huge stomach.

  As a matter of fact, Sandra recalled the day she went job hunting. She was seven months pregnant with Ace. Without noticing her condition, the manager hired her as a seasonal worker at a department store. She needed the extra money to buy Christmas gifts for Kidd and the new baby. Sandra wondered if she would’ve gotten the job had the man known about her pregnancy.

  “How far along are you?” she asked Talise.

  “Twelve weeks on Saturday.”

  “Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?”

  She shrugged. “Either way the child needs a father. So I guess it doesn’t matter,” she said sarcastically. Talise sighed and then shook her head. “I’m sorry. Let me rephrase that. What I’m hoping and praying for is that I’ll be a good mother.”

  “God honors unselfish requests,” Sandra responded, blinking to keep her tears at bay. She remembered the prayers she prayed in the beginning, basically asking God to severely punish Samuel for deceiving her and using her. It was hard at the time to hold her anger. Once she repented and was forgiven for her sins, she asked God for a pure heart. After that, her burden didn’t seem so heavy.

  “Jesus is looking for sincerity when we pray. When King Solomon was a boy, he asked for an understanding heart to judge a nation. Because his request wasn’t for selfish reasons, God blessed him beyond measure. The story is in First Kings, chapter three. Are you attending church?”

  Before Talise could respond, Sally reappeared, offering sample size bags of cookies and peanuts. Again, she lingered at their seats and made small talk with Talise before moving on. Why did interruptions always seem to happen when “church” was interjected into conversations? Sandra tried to hide her annoyance.

  Several minutes later, Talise responded to her question, “I work on Sundays, but Sinclaire gave me a Bible.”

  “Do you read on a regular basis?”

  “Not really, but sometimes. Honestly, between working two jobs, I only get one day off. And I’ve been so tired lately.”

  Sandra frowned. She was concerned about any expectant mother working two jobs, especially more so with Talise.

  Was she hurting for money? Sandra was going to have to figure out a way to bless Talise without offending her. She didn’t come across as a woman who took handouts.

  Two jobs, not attending church, and becoming a single mother was a troublesome combination. She saw too many similarities between herself and Talise and it deeply concerned her. Ace’s ex needed to know that God could supply, meet, and take care of all her needs, according to His riches in glory.

  Sandra strongly encouraged Talise to read Philippians 4:19. Besides that, she would pray for her. Talise also needed an opportunity to listen to an anointed man of God preach the gospel. Out of a deep concern, she felt compelled to tell Talise, “God is getting ready to move some things around in your life. Accept them. Remember, He makes no mistakes.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Surprisingly, Sandra was good company on the flight. Nevertheless, as their plane was about to touch down, Talise’s mood soured. Although she’d never been to St. Louis, already she knew there were
two things the city was noted for: the Gateway Arch and Aaron Jamieson.

  Neither sounded appealing at the moment. She wasn’t in a sightseeing mood and Ace’s name alone was enough to make her stay on the plane. Wanting to trust Sandra and Eva that he wouldn’t be anywhere near them, Talise hoped the Missouri motto, “The Show Me State,” would prove in her favor.

  As they disembarked the plane at Lambert Airport, Talise recalled Lois’s and Sinclaire’s last minute differing messages:

  “Personally, you’re a better woman than me. I think you’re torturing yourself going to a place where the father of your child is hiding out—the coward. But, in your heart, don’t make your baby suffer to punish the father. The Jamieson family will be important later on when he or she starts to ask questions. Tread softly.” Those conflicting words of wisdom had come from Lois. Rolling her eyes, Talise didn’t quite know what to make of her mixed message.

  Sinclaire’s email message had arrived early that morning and was more upbeat: Just be prayerful. God has some good people that He strategically places in our lives. Let them bless you with their love and support. God knows the future. Trust Him to reveal it. Her sister’s positive message stayed with Talise, bringing her some level of comfort.

  Despite any encouraging words, now it was time to face the moment of truth. Under the current circumstances, Talise was suddenly terrified of meeting another member in Ace’s family. She would have preferred a formal introduction from Ace standing by her side, such as, “This is my girlfriend, Talise Rogers—no—this is my fiancée.” Talise sniffed, as she blinked away her hopeful aspirations.

  Hesitantly, Sandra put an arm around her shoulder and squeezed. “It’ll be okay.” She must have sensed the apprehension Talise was understandably feeling.

  Nodding, she doubted it would be okay. She and Eva could swap baby stories, break bread, and what else? They lived in two different states, worlds, and comfort zones—married and single; loved and unloved; committed and deserted. There wouldn’t be any marital ties to bind them.