A Family Reunited

by Jennifer Johnson

  The car ride home was quiet, and Jack begged God to give him words to say, but his spirit remained quiet, so Jack waited. When he pulled in front of the cabin, Pamela turned in her seat to face him. Tears pooled in her eyes, and he lifted his hand to wipe them away. She stopped him.

  “I loved you, Jack. With everything in me.”

  He remembered how she’d fawned on him, almost worshipped him while they dated, and the many times he’d taken advantage of her affections. “I don’t deserve another chance, Pamela. I know that, but I do love you, and I’m asking for the chance to make it up to you. To start again.”

  Her neck moved as she swallowed. “A lot happened while you were gone.”

  He nodded and waited for her to finish.

  She lifted her chin. “I learned to be independent, to take care of myself and the girls.”

  He grabbed her hand. “And you’ve done a great job. I’m so proud of you. The girls are—”

  She pulled her hand away and lifted it to stop him. “You’ve changed, Jack. There’s no doubt about that, and I believe you will be a great dad for the girls now.”

  Dread filled his heart as she wiped the tears from both eyes. She grabbed the door handle. “But you and I can’t happen. I just...I just can’t ever feel that way again. I won’t allow it.”

  She didn’t give him time to respond as she yanked open the car door, then raced inside the house. He closed his eyes and dipped his chin as sadness washed over him.

  Chapter 16

  Jack pushed End on the phone and covered his face with his hands. His mom had passed away. Unexpected massive heart attack. He dropped onto the chair, tears streamed down his cheeks, as Kari’s sobs echoed through his mind. Todd and Dad hadn’t spoken to him. His sister said they were too stunned and devastated.

  Falling to his knees, he planted his face into the seat cushion. God. He didn’t know what to pray. Didn’t have the words. Didn’t know his feelings. His heart.

  He wanted a drink. Desperately. He licked parched lips. He couldn’t remember the last time the desire had been so strong. New tears flowed as he thought of what a miserable son he’d been. How he’d disappointed her time and again.

  Gripping the sides of his jeans, he tried to fight the urge to yank the keys out of his pocket and drive to the nearest liquor store. God. The desire was strong. So strong.

  He’d failed his mom. The last time he’d seen her he’d been drunk. Sure, he’d talked with her many times since sobering up, but actually seeing her face, giving her a hug and kiss. He thought of his brother and sister. If it weren’t for social media, he wouldn’t even know what they looked like. Probably wouldn’t have communicated with them at all.

  He was the lowest of the low. The chief of all sinners. He balled his hands into fists. Pamela had rejected him. She’d made it clear she’d never take him back. He needed a drink. Licking his lips, he could almost taste it. God, help.

  The office door opened. Hands touched his shoulders. He looked up into his old drinking buddy’s face. Owen frowned, concerned. “Jack, what’s wrong?”

  “My mom. She died.”

  “Oh, no.”

  Owen helped him to his feet and wrapped one arm around his shoulder. He prayed out loud for peace and strength for Jack and his family. Jack’s heartbeat slowed and his mind cleared more with each word from his friend’s mouth. When Owen finished the prayer, he squeezed Jack’s shoulder. “What can I do to help?”

  “You just kept me from hitting the liquor store.”

  “Not me. God kept you.”

  Jack knew it was true. God had proven to be stronger than his weakness. He’d provided what Jack needed when he needed it. He only had to rest and trust in his Savior. “If you’ll call the bus station and find out the soonest I can get a ticket, I’ll make some calls to let everyone know I have to leave.”

  Owen nodded. “Consider it done.”

  Jack called Pastor Mark, who assured him the shelter would be cared for, and then he left a message with Jermaine that he’d have to use the ticket voucher sooner than expected.

  Exhaling a quick breath, he called Pamela’s cell phone. He hadn’t talked to her since their date. Her voice mail picked up and he wondered if she’d avoided his call or if she was truly busy. A beep sounded. “Pamela, I’m going to have to leave for a few days. Mom died unexpectedly of a heart attack.” The words caught in his throat, and he coughed. “Call me if you need anything. Give the girls a hug and kiss for me. Tell them I love them.”

  He wanted to tell her he loved her, as well. That no matter how she felt, he believed in the vow they’d made. He’d defiled and made light of it for years, but he was a new creation in Christ, and because of that he couldn’t give up on his love for Pamela. He didn’t even want to.

  Ending the call without saying the words, he turned to Owen. “What time do I leave?”

  “You’ve got an hour.”

  “Better pack fast. You mind to take me to the station?”

  “You know I don’t mind.”

  Once he was ready to go, Owen drove him to the station. On the bus ride, Jack alternated between napping and reading the Bible and commentaries on God’s word. He’d have to keep his mind filled with scripture to make it through the next several days. Every hour he checked his phone. Pamela hadn’t responded to his message. Closing his eyes again, he tried not to think about it. Tried not to think about his hurting family or never being able to talk with his mom again while on earth.

  After finally arriving in Texas, he stepped off the bus and saw his dad, Todd and Kari waiting on the platform. Emotion overwhelmed him as they wrapped their arms around him.

  “You’re home,” his dad muttered.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t see her,” Jack mumbled, trying to hold on to a semblance of composure.

  “She was proud of you, Jack,” said Kari. She looked so grown-up with her light hair cut short and makeup on her face. He knew she’d carried the brunt of caring for their mother. She’d had to grow up fast.

  He pulled Todd into an embrace. He’d been a mama’s boy, and Jack knew her death hurt to the core of his being.

  His dad scratched the day’s growth of hair on his face. “She was proud of you, Jack. We both were.”

  Kari poked his arm. “I wanna see those nieces of mine. You haven’t put any pictures of them on Facebook.”

  Jack shrugged. “Well, it’s not quite—”

  “I know. It’s not quite that easy yet. But surely you have some on your phone.”

  “I do.” Jack reached into his jacket pocket. His phone wasn’t there. He checked his other pocket and his jeans. No phone. “I must have dropped it.”

  He jumped back on the bus and searched the seat he’d been in. Still no phone.

  “Can I help you, buddy?” asked the bus driver.

  “Yeah. I think I left my phone on the bus.”

  The man held up a cracked black iPhone. “This it?”

  Jack’s heart sank. “Yeah.” It was the one the church provided for him.

  The bus driver shook his head. “A fellow stepped on it in the aisle. Must have fallen out of your pocket when you stood up. Hope you had insurance.”

  He didn’t, and he definitely didn’t have the funds to replace it. He had a small emergency fund, but he wouldn’t be able to get to it until he went back to Tennessee. He took the phone. “Thanks.”

  Showing the phone to his dad and siblings, he cocked his head. “Guess I can’t show you any pictures.”

  “That stinks,” said Kari. “Maybe we’ll have a chance to run to—”

  Jack stopped her. “It’s okay. I want to spend time with you, not worry about phone calls. I’ve notified everyone where I am.”

  He wished he could have talked with Pamela in person. He could try her
again from his parents’ phone. He frowned. Except he didn’t know her number. It was programmed into the phone. I’ll only be gone two days. She has a message on her phone. I’ll spend this time focused on Dad, Kari and Todd.

  * * *

  Pamela tied the bow on the present, then set it to the side. She picked up one of the books she and Jack had bought for Emma and set it on the wrapping paper.

  Her heart was heavy. She knew Jack had left a message on her phone hours ago, but she hadn’t had the courage to listen to it. All night she’d tossed and turned, replaying their last conversation. He’d been honest with her. She knew him. She could tell.

  Folding the paper over the book, she then pulled off a piece of tape and stuck it on the wrapping. But then, honesty had never been a problem for Jack. He’d told the truth many times, almost to a fault. Like the time he’d admitted a dress she’d just purchased and loved made her look like a chocolate cupcake. Which is why I know he truly loves me.

  “You’re awful quiet tonight,” said Callie.

  Pamela glanced at her sister-in-law. Even in her nursing scrubs, Callie radiated happiness. “Just got a lot on my mind.”

  “Jack?” her mom asked.

  Pamela really didn’t want to talk about it with them. Her mom kept trying to talk her into “giving love another chance.” Which was easy for Mom to say. Dad had never drank and left her with two kids. He’d been her hero from the moment the two of them said their I dos.

  And Callie was eaten up with happiness. Something she deserved. Besides, Pamela didn’t want to burden her pregnant sister-in-law.

  Pamela shrugged, knowing she had to answer her mother. “Of course it’s Jack.”

  “Mom!” Emma pounded on the bedroom door. “What are you all doing in there?”

  “We’re wrapping Grandpa’s presents.” She pointed to a couple of boxes behind her and whispered, “That’s the truth.”

  Emma’s giggles sounded through the door. “Don’t wrap Dad’s. Emmy and I want to do it.”

  “Okay,” Pamela called.

  Callie grinned. “So, what did y’all buy Jack for Christmas?”

  “Emmy got him a tool set, and Emma got him a flannel shirt.” Pamela snorted and rolled her eyes. “Like he doesn’t have enough of those.”

  Her mom and Callie chuckled. Then Tammie asked, “Did you get him something?”

  She shook her head.

  Callie patted Pamela’s leg. “She doesn’t have to get him anything. The man’s only been back in Bloom Hollow a few months. Pamela can take her time deciding how she feels about him.”

  Pamela smiled and mouthed “thank you” to her sister-in-law. Wrapping a ribbon around the present, discontent pricked at her. She knew how she felt. Her heart knew. Her mind knew. Even her spirit nudged her to just trust God with Jack again. But she’d held on to her fear of vulnerability for so long. First Jack left; then Greta died. She’d covered the fear with bitterness and independence, and it had served her well for the past few years.

  She thought of Emma’s struggles with anger and bitterness, how she used to snap at her sister and how Emma seemed to hide within herself when she felt uncomfortable. She’d wondered if Emma’s change in personality had been a direct result of Pamela’s hardened spirit the past few years. Since Jack had returned, Emma’s disposition had changed. Her inner turmoil seemed to have lessened, and she acted more like a little girl again. Maybe the fear I’ve clung to hasn’t served me so well after all.

  “Mom!” Emmy pounded on the door. “I messed up your phone.”

  “What?” Pamela touched her jeans pocket. She’d forgotten she’d told Emmy she could play a game on it.

  “I don’t know what happened,” wailed Emmy. “All of the sudden Daddy’s voice was on the phone, but he wouldn’t answer me. So I pushed the talk button, but he didn’t talk, so I pushed the end button, and he still didn’t talk.”

  With Emmy crying on the other side of the door, Pamela looked up at the clock. “It’s almost bedtime. I think I’ll take the girls back to the cabin, get their baths and put them to bed.”

  “No problem,” said Mom. “Give them a kiss for me.”

  “And me,” said Callie.

  Pamela walked out of the bedroom and took the phone from Emmy. She bit back a growl when she realized her younger daughter had deleted Jack’s message. Shrugging it off, she knew he’d call again within the hour to tell the girls good-night.

  They walked to the cabin, the girls took baths and then each read a book to Pamela. She looked at her cell phone. Jack still hadn’t called, and it was past their bedtime.

  Concern wrinkled Emma’s brow. “Did Dad forget to call?”

  Pamela winked. “I’m sure he’s working on something at the shelter and forgot.” She handed the phone to Emma. “Why don’t you call him?”

  Emma pushed the contact, waited a moment then handed the phone back to Pamela. “It’s his voice mail.”

  Pamela kissed each of the girls. “I’m sure he’s just busy. We’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

  After walking out of the room, Pamela placed her hand against her chest. Something was wrong. She could feel it. She called Jack’s number again, and her heartbeat sped up when his voice mail picked up immediately. She called Owen’s number. No answer. She tried again. Still no answer, but this time she left a message. She tried Pastor Mark. Straight to voice mail, just like Jack’s phone. After leaving a message, she called the shelter. No answer.

  She gripped a chunk of her hair with her hand as she walked to her bedroom and shut the door. Was no one available to answer the phone? She played with her phone, trying to find the message Emmy had deleted. She dropped the phone on the bed. It was no use. Flopping on her belly, she covered her head with a pillow as thoughts shot through her mind. He’d been so hurt when she’d stepped out of the car. What if he’d been in an accident? What if he was drinking? What if he left again?

  Fear rose in her throat and pounded her head. She loved him. She punched the bed with her fist. God, I don’t want to love him. I don’t want to feel vulnerable again.

  Who are you really afraid of?

  Her spirit wailed within her. She knew the source of her fear. God. He allowed bad things to happen. Like husbands to walk away and friends to die in car accidents. He allowed those things.

  But why, God? Why do bad things happen? I served You, and I was a good wife to Jack. And Greta, too, Lord. She loved You with all her heart.

  Scriptures flooded Pamela’s mind. My ways are not your ways. God gives and takes away. With the faith of a mustard seed, you can move this mountain.

  She sat up in the bed and hugged her arms around her waist. Faith. She wanted faith. Her heart clenched, and her breath stuck in her throat. Once upon a time, she’d trusted him with her whole heart.

  Scriptures flowed through her mind again. Faith of a child. Were you there when the earth was formed? I have a plan for you. All things work together for good. Trust Me.

  Pamela blew out a breath and looked up at the ceiling. “I give up, God. I can’t do it. I can’t fight You anymore. I don’t understand everything.” She shook her head. “I don’t, but I’m going to trust You anyway.”

  After lying back in the bed, she closed her eyes. A peace she hadn’t known for far too long enveloped her like a heavy, warm blanket. Soon she was fast asleep.

  Chapter 17

  Jack held his sister and brother tight as the men lowered their mother’s coffin into the ground. Their father stood a few feet away from them, holding a bouquet of their mother’s favorite flowers in one hand and her wedding ring in the other.

  A few of Dad’s coworkers had attended the funeral, as well as Kari’s boyfriend and a couple of Kari and Todd’s friends from school. Now the family stood alone, the rain pouring down as if a bucket dropped water
from the heavens. The weather fit their demeanor and somehow made the tears easier for Jack.

  He hated that his suitcase was packed and loaded in the trunk of his dad’s car. They’d had a good two days catching up and sharing memories. He and his dad had made amends, and he hoped one day he could bring Pamela and the girls to Texas for a visit. At least the girls.

  With the coffin in place, Todd took their dad’s hand, and they walked in silence to the car. He’d miss his mother, but he would see her again one day in heaven. His heart ached for his dad and siblings. Mom had taken them to church when she was able, but Dad never shared her sentiments about faith. Jack knew Todd and Kari knew precious little about the Lord. God, help me be a light to them.

  They didn’t talk as his dad drove to the bus station. He didn’t want to leave so soon. They couldn’t even share the spaghetti and meatballs Dad’s coworkers had brought to the house. But he couldn’t afford to stay another day. And he missed Pamela and the girls. He needed to wrap his arms around them and tell them how much he loved them.

  Once at the station, he hugged his sister. “You look so much like Mom.” She cried into his chest. “Absolutely beautiful. I hope you’ll go to church with your friend. Mom would want you to know Jesus.” She didn’t argue, simply nodded against his shirt.

  He grabbed his little brother with his other hand. Unlike his sister, who looked years older, Todd looked closer to Emma’s age than his own. “Hang in there. Call me anytime you want.”

  Todd wiped his eyes with the back of his coat sleeve. “I will.”

  His dad grabbed his hand and patted his shoulder. “I really am proud of you, Jack. You straightened up.”

  “God straightened me up, Dad.” He glanced at his sister and brother. “Take them to church. You know Mom would want that.”

  His dad’s eyelids brimmed with tears as he nodded. “I will.”

  With one last hug for each of them, Jack got on the bus. The ride from Texas back to Tennessee seemed especially long, and Jack wished he had his phone so he could call the girls. He tried to sleep, then attempted to read, but his mind whirred with one thought after another.