Bound by Secrets

by Angela M Hudson

  Ara’s cool hand came down on my knee, forcing the sensation of calm through me. She’d mastered it now, I was sure. Before she died, she could calm an entire room, make them fearful, or even bring a tear to every eye with nothing more than a simple change in her own energy. She could even do that to the skies. But I had not yet seen this new version of her exude so much power in so many different ways. No one even had to teach her. It was as if she just recalled it all, or maybe, in this case, it was accidental. She needed me to calm down and her body knew how to make that happen, even if her mind didn’t.

  “So… you talk to my brother often then?” I said, passive as a puddle.

  “Dude, I’ve known him for two days and I’ve spoken to him four times. I don’t call that ‘often’, so you can fuck off with your passive-aggressive probing.”

  At first, I was taken aback by his tone. No one spoke to the king that way. But then, he’d never known me as his king. He knew me as his equal, and for a moment I liked that. Just not enough to let him get away with such disrespect. I stood up. “I’m probing because you seem to be making yourself a little too familiar with your king—”

  “Familiar?” He put his brush down. “What d’you expect? You want me to bow down to him?”

  “Yes!” I laughed, astonished that he’d deluded himself this deeply. Was he to be friends with his king? Ridiculous.

  “Look, man.” He stood up too. “I get it. You were born in the old days when people used to worship monarchs like fools, and you probably haven’t seen too many modern-made vampires, but I can respect my king in any way I see fit, and if that means being mates, then that’s none of your beeswax.”

  “He is my brother—”

  “And I happen to get along great with him,” Cal said simply. “So fucking what? I’m not out to adopt him or anything—or take your place. Just calm down.”

  “David.” Ara’s hand touched my shoulder; I shrugged it off. I would not be herded into behaving—told to calm down. Who did he think he was speaking to? Disrespectful little shit.

  “You need to learn a lesson in the order of the proverbial food chain.” I pointed at Cal. “And if I have to enforce it, I will—”

  “David, that’s enough,” Ara yelled. “You’re doing that thing again.”

  “What thing?” I spun around, my heart jerking back in my chest when I saw her face. She was right; I recognized it now that she’d pointed it out. The surge—the same hate-filled build-up of insanity that made me bash her head into the ground last time. It was happening again. Most likely because Cal posed a threat. Not just because he was a man in her life, but because he was under her curse too.

  I forcibly simmered down, closing my eyes. “Cal. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t sweat it,” he said, but his tone was littered with impatience. It couldn’t be undone now. I’d offended him. I’d offended Ara. I’d made a dick of myself.

  I turned and left the room, taking the stairs and reaching the front door before Ara caught up.

  “What’s wrong, David?” She grabbed my arm and stopped me, holding so tight I physically couldn’t move.

  “I don’t know,” I lied. “That guy just…”

  “Drives you crazy. I know that. But you fought against yourself in there. I saw it.” She pressed her hand to my chest. “I saw you take one path in your mind and then switch to another, like you were forcing yourself to hate him.”

  Just hearing her put it like that made me feel worse. I touched her face softly and smiled. “One day I can make you understand.” One day I would tell her about the curse. “But for now, I just need you to give me some leeway—just let me make a few mistakes, okay?”

  She nodded, taking my hand down to kiss my palm. “Okay.”

  “Okay.” I smiled at her, my eyes flicking to the top of the stairs when Cal appeared. And I decided it was time. He had to know. Ara wasn’t ready yet, but I needed to warn Cal. These feelings were powerful, and dangerous.

  “Ara,” I said softly, giving her my most reassuring smile. “Can you leave us for a bit? I need to talk to Cal about something.”

  I felt her concern, but as she looked back at Cal, it wasn’t concern for him, I realized. It was for me. “You just remember he’s human,” she said firmly to Cal. “If anything happens to him, I don’t care what he said to provoke you, I will kill you.”

  “Noted,” Cal said with a salute.

  Ara nodded pragmatically and looked at me again. “I’ll see you at the rehearsal dinner tonight.”

  “See you then.” I leaned in to kiss her cheek, letting her walk past me then as I prepared the speech in my mind.

  “What is it?” Cal said, walking away as an invitation for me to follow.

  “You don’t love her,” I said, climbing the steps quickly.

  “I never said I did.”

  “Bullshit.” I stood by the stairs, ready to run in case what I had to say angered his inner vampire. “I can see it in your eyes.”

  “Right.” He nodded, smirking. “So this is the bit where you tell me I’m cursed, right?”

  “I—” My mouth fell open, the words sticking to my tonsils.

  “Ric told me.” He sat down by his easel again. “He warned me about it before he agreed to turn me—said it might not break with immortality. But it has,” he assured me, glancing back to say it with his eyes. “I don’t feel for her the way you think I do.”

  “Then what, exactly, is your position?”

  “She’s my friend, Dave. Just like you. And Ric. And as I’m betting your bro will be.” He spun around on his stool and faced me, rubbing his paint-stained hands on the tops of his ripped jeans. “He’s like me. You know that. I know you can see that. Why would you try to stop us being friends?”

  I sighed, moving into the room. “Because of the curse, if I’m honest.”

  He frowned, halfway between asking why and just waiting for me to elaborate.

  “I see you as a threat—to my relationship. It’s not your fault,” I added, looking down at my shoes. “It’s not anyone’s fault. It’s the curse. But, because of that, I see you as a threat in every department, even with my brother.”

  Cal nodded, exhaling deeply from his nose. “No one can steal her, you know?”

  I sat down on the bed. “I know.”

  “And no one can steal your bro.” He waited until I looked at him. “Blood is thicker than water, man. You don’t know how much that guy loves you.”

  He was right. I didn’t really know. I knew what lengths I’d go to for him—that I would die for him. That I would want to die if he no longer existed. But I hadn’t seen him now in so long that it felt like he wasn’t really a part of my life anymore—that he didn’t care for me the way I cared for him.

  “Look, I know you don’t want me coming between you and Ara—or you and Jason. But I’m her bloodbag. I’m a permanent fixture now, and we can all either get along, or have a hard time of it. Your choice.”

  This time, when I looked at Cal and saw him as a friend—not a loyal subject addressing his king—I didn’t fight it. I let it into my heart and held it down when it tried to choke me. “I’m trying,” I said. “But this curse makes it hard.”

  “You need to tell Ara about it.”

  “No. She isn’t—”

  “No,” he said firmly. “She needs to know.” He went back to his painting then. “You know that.”

  “Yeah.” I nodded. But to tell her would be to lose her. If she thought, for even a second, that my love was a result of the curse, she’d back away. She’d never trust it. And I’d lose her all over again. “Just not now,” I finished.

  “When?”

  Good question. “When I’m strong enough to let her go.”

  * * *

  My twenty-first birthday had been spent in misery. I tried to indulge my family as they had rallied around to celebrate my first human birthday in a century, but without hope of ever seeing my Ara again, I’d been in a state of depression and I barely
remembered the day.

  Which is why Mike had planned to throw me a second twenty-first birthday party—to be a surprise—if it weren’t for Ara’s terrible habit of talking in her sleep.

  I cradled her closer, kissing her head as I whispered that she was the best birthday present I could have asked for. Not just that she was alive, or that we were working things out, but that she had snuck into my bed last night while I was sleeping, and I woke to her soft breath against my nose, her chest rising and falling under my arm. Sleeping beside her was like laying with an angel; it brought a kind of peace to my heart that left my body comfortably numb, sinking deeper into the mattress beneath us.

  But Harry would wake soon, and if the previous years were anything to go by, he’d run in here as soon as his eyes opened and wish me well with a series of hugs and kisses. Ara needed to wake up and leave before that happened, or our cover would be blown wide open. There would be no way Harry could keep it to himself.

  “Hey, mate,” I heard Mike say. Harry whispered something, and I heard paper rustle. “Yeah, but why don’t we go down and make him breakfast first?”

  “Yeah!” Harry cheered.

  I heard Ara’s door close then, which I took to mean that Mike knew Ara was in here with me. I wasn’t stupid enough to think he hadn’t heard us making love the other day. He knew exactly what was going on, which put him in a unique position to help out now and then in keeping it a secret.

  Harry followed Mike downstairs and I breathed a sigh of relief, holding Ara just a bit tighter for just a bit longer. Of anything Mike could have given me for my birthday, a few more minutes with her in my arms could not be bested.

  Ara stirred then and I tried to shush her back to sleep, but she sat bolt upright, with bright eyes and a big smile, and practically yelled “Happy birthday!”

  “Shhhh.” I put my finger to my lips. “I don’t want anyone to know we’re up.”

  “Why?” She looked at the door. “I thought you’d be dying to get down there and see your brother.”

  “My brother is here?” I scooted back, hovering above her on my hands and knees.

  She nodded. “You didn’t know?”

  I laughed breathily, shaking my head. “No. And I don’t think you were supposed to tell me.”

  “Oh.” Her little mouth rounded. “Oops.”

  I leaned down and kissed that mouth, my smile growing as a rush of excitement made my heart skip. It had been almost a year since I’d seen my brother, and I’d been in a blurry state of depression the last time, so it felt like longer than that since I’d seen him.

  “Come on.” I jumped up and took her hand. “It’s time for you to meet the King.”

  49

  Ara

  I snuck back to my own room to get changed, while David headed downstairs in his pajamas. I could hear Elora and Eric down there among the unfamiliar voices, all of them mingling with the comforting smell of bacon and fresh-baked bread. That smell and those voices gave me a great sense of calm, like walking through the front door of your childhood home and finding it in the exact state you left it, but I wasn’t sure why.

  “So are you two back together yet, or what?” I heard someone ask downstairs.

  “Uncle Jase,” Elora screeched, her tone thick with awkward tension.

  “No, it’s okay,” David said. “I don’t mind him asking.”

  “So I take it that’s a no,” someone else said.

  “Not so smooth now you’re a fleshy human, are ya?” Eric said, which I thought was pretty bold of him considering he was terrified of David once. Little did any of them know, David was as smooth as ever and had won me over with what I considered was very little effort. I just couldn’t tell them that yet. Elora needed to know, but after giving her wedding gift careful consideration and realizing that she already had an apartment that she loved and didn’t need a kettle or crystal glasses, nothing seemed more fantastic than the news that her parents were back together. She would, however, have to wait until after her wedding ceremony to find out. In the meantime, I’d have fun messing with her and with everyone else.

  The hum of voices got louder then, followed by a roar of joy and some laughter, then a high voice crying. It sounded like a baby, but… no, that was definitely a baby. It hit me then: the new princess had been born into the world only days ago. If David’s brother was here, and he was king, that meant there was a baby here too!

  I listened for a moment, holding my place up here away from the joyful reunion, wondering what a real baby would look like, feel like, smell like. It sounded terrified. Like someone was hanging it by its ankle, but the voice that lilted over the noise in a soothing “shhh” seemed to ease the child’s worries. It silenced instantly, and I could hear David and Mike talking loudly again in those deeper, more animated voices they used around other people.

  “You’ve still got that magic touch, bro,” a voice I assumed was Jason’s said.

  “Making small people cry used to be a part of my job description,” David said, and they all laughed.

  “She is just hungry,” Lilith assured, her easily recognizable accent coming from another room. “Once she is fed, she will be happy to meet her uncle.”

  “And where is our Ara?” someone else asked, and my chest stopped short of its next breath. I’d spoken to him only once over the phone, and I got the strong sense that he’d been uncomfortable. After that, I never wanted to talk again, and he’d never made an effort to call either, but that didn’t surprise me considering he’d known all my human life that he was my father and never bothered to be a part of my life. And now I wasn’t sure how to react when meeting these people again for the first time. Should I embrace them? Should I shake their hand or just give them a casual wave? The uncertainty had me frozen. I didn’t want to go down there. I didn’t want to face them.

  My door cracked open then and a familiar face popped through, sending all my twisted nerves home to be held by their mother.

  “Hey, kitten.”

  “Brett.” I stood up and rushed for his arms.

  “Hey,” he sung in a high voice, cradling my face against his chest. “Are you okay?”

  “I don’t know what to do,” I whispered, certain those immortals down there could hear me. I didn’t even need to explain myself further. Brett nodded to say he understood.

  “They get it, Ara. They won’t crowd you.”

  “I’m not ready to face it.”

  “Face what?”

  “Meeting so many people from my past—all at once.”

  His chest sunk, a hard breath moving over my hair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t really think of that. I guess it must be pretty overwhelming.”

  I nodded. “My chest feels really tight.”

  “That’s normal, kitten.” He kissed the crown of my head. “It’s called anxiety.”

  “I don’t like it.” I pulled back from his arms and rubbed my chest.

  “Maybe—hang on a sec.” He angled his head at a funny tilt, his eyes narrowing, then nodded. “Lily says to bring you to the den. She’s feeding the baby in there alone. You might be more comfortable with just one person for now.”

  My eyes scrunched up in confusion. “How did you hear that when I didn’t?”

  I spoke into his thoughts, Lily said, her strange accent just as odd when it came through my thoughts.

  Brett held my gaze, requiring a silent confirmation that I was okay with that, so I nodded.

  “Get dressed then.” He patted my arm. “I’ll wait in the den for you.”

  “Thanks,” I said as he closed the door.

  * * *

  Everyone but Mike was in the dining room, right across from the stairs. I waited on the top, gathering the courage to walk down, trying to map out my steps so I could slink past without seeing anyone. Or without them seeing me.

  If I got down on my hands and knees and peered through the rungs of the balustrade, I could make out a head that looked like David’s and one beside it that was most li
kely my father—both of them with their backs to the staircase. If they were human, they wouldn’t notice me, but most of them were vampire. They’d hear me come down, and they’d turn and then I’d be standing there like a twit, not knowing what to do or say.

  “I’m just gonna shut this so the noise doesn’t disturb the baby,” Brett said, looking right up to my hiding spot and winking as he came to close off the dining room door.

  “She’s used to the noise,” Jason said. “You don’t have to… oh.”

  The conversation was more softly spoken after that, which made me wonder if they were talking about me—considering they so obviously knew why Brett closed that door. I didn’t care though. I tiptoed down the stairs and turned toward the den, feeling an odd but very powerful sense of calm as I reached the doors. I could hear Lily in there, hear the gentle sound of a baby’s quick breaths through its nose as it suckled its milk. The whole room smelled remarkably like lilies, or maybe lavender. I picked up a powdery scent too, which I assumed was the baby, and my heart skipped as I thought about how nice it would be to hold her—if they let me.

  “Ara?” Lily called in a soft whisper.

  I pushed the glass door open a little more, hesitantly entering the dark space, as though I was invading on sacred time between mother and daughter.

  “Come,” she offered. “Sit with us. Someone would like to meet her aunt.”

  My hands went into my pockets to give me more confidence. I walked in and stood for a moment by the couch where Lily sat with a bundle of blankets in her arms, her breast exposed under the little nose. And I felt like I knew that sensation—what it felt like to hold a child at your breast—felt my own nipples tighten in some maternal response.

  “I couldn’t feed Elora,” I said, sitting down. “I thought it was immortality that dried my milk up, but it turned out to be trauma.”