Bull (The Kings of Mayhem MC Book 6)

by Penny Dee

  “We make mistakes. We’re human. We don’t always get it right,” she said.

  “How did you deal with it?”

  “First, I needed to know he was okay. He used to see a therapist, a couple of them. He’s moved on from all the trauma of the past. Being a part of the MC world exposes you to things that leave deep scars. You have to learn how to process them. And a lot of the time, you have to learn how to live with guilt.”

  “Have you learned to live with yours?”

  “I have. Forgiveness is a powerful thing. Especially when you point it in your own direction.” She smiled and it was big and bright. She really was beautiful. In the strange hierarchy of the motorcycle club, she was considered the baby queen next to Ronnie. The other women looked up to her. The men respected her. Yet she seemed so unfazed by it all. She leaned forward and raised a perfect eyebrow at me. “Want to tell me what’s on your mind.”

  Did I?

  I had kept my secret for a lifetime. Carried the weight of it on my shoulders for my whole adult life. But sharing it would be a burden, and now wasn’t the right time.

  “Maybe another time.”

  Indy wasn’t the type to push. But she knew I was hiding something. Something big. But she nodded. “Whenever you’re ready.”

  After Indy excused herself to hit the dance floor with her husband, I slipped away to find a bathroom. I needed a moment away from the music and the celebrations to catch my breath and calm the uneasiness churning in my stomach.

  I had come close to telling her my secret.

  And that was bad.

  Because that move would be a dangerous one, one that could cause me to lose Noah for good.

  I found a bathroom on the second floor, and once inside, I stood at the sink and pressed a dampened paper towel to my face.

  I was being drawn into the inner sanctum of the club because of Bull and my feelings for him. And the club had opened their arms to me and Noah, and for the first time in my life I felt like we had a family. But I had a secret that told me I wasn’t worthy, and I was struggling with the weight of it.

  As I turned to leave, I heard someone vomiting in the cubicle.

  “Are you okay in there?” I asked.

  The toilet flushed and the door opened.

  It was the bride.

  “Don’t mind me,” she said with a weak smile as she made her way over to the sink. Our eyes met in the mirror as she started to wash her hands. “Just my luck, morning sickness will turn out to be an all-day sickness.”

  She was pregnant.

  “How far along are you?”

  “Almost three months.” She stopped washing her hands and braced them on the sink as another wave of nausea rolled through her. “And God help me if the next six months are going to be like this.”

  She drew in a deep breath

  “Does anyone know?”

  She shook her head.

  “Not even my husband.” Her eyes widened a little. “Boy, I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to saying that. My husband.” A big smile spread across her face. “I only found out yesterday. I thought the nausea and headaches were stress from all the crazy wedding plans. Thought I was overdoing it, you know.”

  “That’s amazing news, Autumn. Congratulations.”

  She sat down on the little bench near the windows. “We were going to wait. I mean, we want to start a family eventually. It’s just, we have so many other things planned. Maverick wants a big family, I’m talking, five or six kids. Whereas I didn’t think I wanted any until I met him.” She blew out a deep breath as another wave of nausea washed over her.

  I took out a small bottle of ginger supplements from my purse and handed them to her. “These should help,” I said. I grabbed a paper cup from the dispenser on the wall and filled it from the water fountain before handing it to her. “The last time I was on a boat, I got terrible seasickness. I thought it was better to be safe than sorry.”

  She took one, followed by a gulp of water. “You’re a lifesaver, thank you.”

  As she took another mouthful of water, the light caught the crown pendant around her neck, and I couldn’t help but recall the look of absolute affection on Maverick’s face when he’d asked her to be his queen and slipped it around her neck.

  And for some stupid reason, my heart started to whisper to me about wearing the crown pendant of the president.

  But then I realized the absurdity of the concept and frowned.

  I was never going to wear Bull’s crown.

  I pushed the ridiculous thought to the deepest, darkest recesses of my brain, and focused on Autumn as I sat down beside her.

  “What do you think Maverick will say about the baby?” I asked.

  Her face lit up. “He’ll be excited. He comes from a huge family, and I know he was only waiting until I was ready. It’s just, I had so many plans, you know.”

  “I get it. I didn’t exactly plan on making Destiny home. But now I’m really pleased we did.” I thought of Bull, and a comforting warmth spread through my chest.

  “Life is funny, isn’t it? Maverick was only ever meant to be a one-night fling. Then it was only supposed to be a casual thing. You know, sex without strings. Then somehow between all the sex and the crazy times, he morphed into the love of my life.” She smiled wistfully. “If it’s one thing I’ve learned over the last few years, it’s how things aren’t as random as they appear to be. Life is more precious than that. Things happen for a reason. Destiny isn’t just a mystical concept, and serendipity is a force of nature.”

  I thought about what she said for a moment.

  Her big brown eyes narrowed with a mischievous gleam, and she nudged me with her bare shoulder. “So, you and Bull, huh?”

  I was about to deny my feelings for him but stopped. What was the point?

  “I really like him.”

  “Oh, I think it’s gone past the liking stage, darlin'. I think that man is head over heels in love with you.”

  “What? No.” I glanced at her. “I mean, do you think?”

  She wiped a tiny piece of paper towel from my cheek. “I think you should stop worrying about whatever it is that has that little frown on your face, and start enjoying what is right in front of you. After all, we never know what is going to happen tomorrow. Or if there even will be a tomorrow.”

  She gave me a wicked smile and brushed her lips to my cheek. “Now, go get that spunky man of yours and enjoy him. Life is too short to do anything else.”

  When she left the bathroom, I sat a little longer on the bench. Perhaps Autumn was right. Perhaps what really mattered was being in the moment and enjoying right here, right now. That worrying about the past was a waste of time because there was nothing I could do about it. And worrying about tomorrow was pointless because it wasn’t guaranteed it would ever come.

  Standing up, I decided to take her advice and find Bull. I had lived inside my head for too long, and I didn’t want to hide in there anymore.

  I was going to find the man who had captured my heart and soul, and the rest of the world could be damned.

  Because tonight, my other life didn’t exist.

  I was with Bull.

  And I was going to savor it while it lasted.

  BULL

  Just after midnight, the River Queen docked and a hundred drunk and disorderly wedding guests stumbled down the gangway and headed for the clubhouse to keep partying. It would be a party that didn’t wind down until after the sun came up.

  But I hung back with Taylor.

  “Let me take you home,” I whispered in her ear.

  I didn’t want to go back to the clubhouse to party.

  I wanted my alone time with my girl.

  She looked up at me and I felt the air around us light up with electricity. She nodded and smiled, brushing her lips to mine in response.

  Back at my place, we removed our clothes and took our time kissing each other in the small ribbon of moonlight breaking through the window of my bedroom. Fi
ngertips were featherlike, our lips gentle, our tongues needy but savoring every lick, every taste, every delicious tangle.

  When our bodies became too tight with longing, I carried her to the bed and lay her down among the pillows where I’d spent many nights fantasizing about her, my body hard, my hand on my cock as I dreamed of her silky body beneath mine. Now she was here, naked and beautiful, her lush red hair spread across the linen as she looked up at me, her chest heaving with anticipation, her eyes gleaming with lust. She parted her firm thighs and I crawled along the length of her, and we both shivered when the slick head of my cock brushed against her warm skin.

  With our gazes fused together, I slowly pushed into her and felt an overwhelming rush of emotion move through me. And judging by the look on her face, so did she.

  I made love to her slowly. Savoring every touch, every kiss, every inch I stroked in and out of her beautiful body. I couldn’t get close enough. Couldn’t get deep enough. Every part of me wanted to be joined to her, to be in her, to be a part of her. And the more she moved and mewed beneath me, the more I got lost in her, in the moment, in what was happening. And as my orgasm continued to build, a strange feeling tightened in my chest. A feeling from long ago, awakening inside of me as I made love to her, making promises to her in my head, wanting everything with her.

  “Bull…” My name fell from her lips in a soft moan as her eyes closed and her back arched upward. The move sent me deeper into her body, the pleasure almost blinding as her tight pussy sucking my cock, making me drive deeper into the warmth, making me lose my mind.

  I gripped the pillow by her head, my body begging me to let go and come. But I didn’t want the moment to end. I was high on the feeling, intoxicated by her soft cries of pleasure as she came beneath me, her body writhing, her neck arching, her eyes rolling to the back of her head.

  I sealed my mouth over hers, drinking in her moan, my hips rolling and rolling until I couldn’t take it anymore.

  “What are you doing to me?” I cried into her mouth as light and sound became warped around me. “What have you done to me?”

  The walls holding back my orgasm tumbled down, and I crashed into my ecstasy like a tidal wave to the shoreline. I didn’t roar. I didn’t growl. I didn’t cry out. Instead, my eyes found hers and my mouth dropped open, as every cell in my body exploded with pleasure. My heart opened, and a bright light flooded in to fill the chambers, and in that moment, everything was different. I knew it. And so did she.

  I collapsed against her, my brain still illuminated in ecstasy but my body soft and spent. I pulled her to me and wrapped my arms around her, savoring her warmth and the silkiness of her naked body pressed into mine.

  I closed my eyes, wrapped in the heavenly afterglow of amazing sex.

  But before I could descend into a blissful sleep, my eyes jolted open, and a realization ripped through me like lightning.

  Jesus Christ, I’ve fallen in love with her.

  TAYLOR

  I woke a few hours later to the sound of raindrops hitting the window. I was tangled in the bed sheets, my body soft from sleep, my skin warm with the heat radiating from his big body wrapped around mine.

  I wanted to stay like this forever.

  With him.

  And I smiled because I was happy. Something had happened between us last night. Something magical. Something I never knew existed. I’d felt it as he’d made love to me. Felt it in every touch. Heard it in his moans. Saw it in his eyes and written all over his face.

  It was no longer casual.

  It wasn’t as simple as that.

  It wasn’t simple at all.

  But it was something.

  He stirred, releasing a low groan as he shifted behind me. His breathing was hot on the nape of my neck. He was waking up. And my body was waking up with him.

  When a gentle moan parted my lips, he rolled me onto my back and pushed into me, and we made love again, slowly, sleepily, as the rain continued to rattle against the window.

  He tangled his hand in my hair and pressed his cheek to mine, his eyes closed as he leisurely stroked into me, whispering in my ear and driving me toward another mind-shattering orgasm.

  When we were done, we lay soft and subtle in each other’s arms, our limbs tangled, our bodies exhausted.

  “I have to go.” He pressed a kiss into my hair. “I have to meet someone.”

  I whimpered my protest.

  “I will call you later.” His lips brushed my ear. “And I want to spend the night making you moan.”

  When he left, I drifted back into a deep, satisfied sleep. I didn’t need to pick Noah up from Roberta’s for another few hours. But just as I started to drift away, my phone started to ring on the bedside table. Heavy and content, I decided to let it go to voicemail. I didn’t want to move. I was drunk on orgasms and wanted to drift back into a heavenly sleep.

  But thinking it could be Noah, I reached for it.

  I felt for it on the nightstand, and pulled it in front of my eyes.

  It was a number I didn’t recognize.

  “Hello…” I said huskily.

  “Hello, Taylor.” Came a familiar voice. My eyes flicked open and I sat up, a shiver of fear rushing up my spine. “I’m coming to town, and I think it’s time you came back to work for me, don’t you agree?”

  Fear snagged in my chest.

  My past had finally caught up with me.

  Ten Years Ago

  The dress was Givenchy. The shoes Manolo Blahnik. My hair an upstyle of red curls and braiding. Diamonds and rubies dripped from my ears; a matching bracelet wrapped around a gloved wrist. I sipped Cristal from a champagne flute and moved about the room engaging in polite small talk like the well-bred young woman I was pretending to be. Because I was anything but well-bred. I was so far from pedigree, I should need a map to find it. I came from the street. I came from the gutter that stunk of piss and shit.

  But tonight, I was playing the role Alex needed me to play.

  Tonight, I was a guest at the gala being held in the magnificent mansion of a Supreme Court judge.

  And tonight, I was going to blow the mind of the man whose honor we were celebrating.

  Senator Gilbert Borntrager.

  Multi-millionaire.

  Entrepreneur.

  Philanthropist.

  Notorious womanizer.

  And killer.

  According to Alex, he was the man of the hour. People adored him for his tireless work with various charities across the country, including the complete funding of a children’s orphanage.

  He also donated heavily to hospitals and universities, and even had a wing named after him at the local women’s hospital.

  He was known for his generosity. For his charm and rich, Connecticut style.

  What people didn’t know—but what Alex did know—was that Gilbert Borntrager had particular tastes when it came to sex. Tastes that ran a lot younger than his sixty-two-year-old wife, Eleanor.

  Old Gillie boy liked them younger.

  Much younger.

  I was barely twenty years old, and according to Alex I was borderline.

  But lucky me, he also had a thing for redheads.

  I was in the impressive foyer, standing at the foot of a sweeping staircase and beneath a massive crystal chandelier, talking with an ex-district attorney and his insipid, bland daughter, when Borntrager found me.

  “I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure,” he said, his gaze sweeping up and down my ball gown and lingering on my naked throat.

  The lack of jewelry around my neck and strapless gown were no accident.

  Because youth aside, Borntrager also liked to asphyxiate while he fucked, and he paid handsomely to do so.

  It wasn’t an unusual request. I’d certainly heard of worse. And usually, it was a fetish easily accommodated if you had the money.

  But sometimes it went wrong because Old Gillie Boy didn’t always know when to stop.

  Like the time with his young intern
, Polly Malthouse, whose body was pulled out of the Chesapeake Bay following a business trip with Borntrager last November.

  According to Borntrager, they shared a meal in the hotel restaurant after a day of meetings. But while he turned in early, she wanted to hit the clubs and bars. She was nineteen and ready to party, and ignored his uncompromising suggestion to stay in. She was an adult, he said. Old enough to make her own decisions while she was off the clock.

  When she failed to show up for their flight back to Connecticut the following morning, he called the police.

  Three days later, her body was dragged out of the bay. Ruled a homicide, it was still unsolved.

  Apparently, there were others. All collateral damage of one rich man’s sick urges.

  To the outside world, Borntrager was a saint.

  But to those who knew his dark side, like Alex did, he was a monster.

  “Well, that is something we should remedy,” I said seductively, taking a sip of champagne and fixing him with heavy lashes and eyes that spoke of untold pleasure.

  “You look young,” he stated matter-of-factly, although his eyes flared with excitement. “Barely old enough to drink.”

  “I’m old enough,” I said.

  He gave me a stern look. “Why do I feel like you’re lying?”

  “Okay, you caught me. I’m seventeen.” I leaned closer. “But don’t tell anybody. I just want to have a good time. It’s my first time attending one of these things, and I’m having the best time.”

  “Your first time?”

  “It’s also my first trip to DC.” I bit down on my lower lip and looked up at him through heavy lashes. “I’m hoping it will include a lot of firsts.”

  I was eluding to being a virgin and I could tell that it excited him.

  But I wasn’t a virgin. A man in a dirty flannel shirt and sweatpants made sure of that when I was fourteen years old and sleeping under a bridge during a storm. He’d forced himself into me and ripped my innocence from my body as I screamed into the pouring rain.

  And any sex since then had been a cold and empty act.