The Alchemy of Desire

by Crista McHugh

  When he peeked over his shoulder, he almost forgot to breathe. The warm sunlight from across the river reflected off her coppery skin, making it glow against the darkness to the west. His gaze followed the curve of her breasts to the narrows of her waist and the flare of her hips.

  Sweet Jesus, I shouldn’t be staring at her like this. I shouldn’t want her so badly. His erection strained against his pants, bearing witness to how his desire consumed him. It took every ounce of self-control to pry his eyes away from the beauty of her naked body.

  Cager caught his attention and jerked his head back toward Oni. “Very nice, little brother,” he whispered so only Diah could hear. “Like I said, you’re a fool to turn that down.”

  Diah gritted his teeth, not wanting to let Cager know just how much he agreed with him at that moment.

  Chapter Six

  Oni pulled the soft buckskin breeches over the hips, followed by a simple dress made of the same material. Traditional Lakota clothing. No need to put on pretenses out here on the plains. Besides, they were the driest things she owned at the moment, and she welcomed their warmth against the early morning chill. Winter’s not too far away.

  “You can turn around now, boys.”

  She reached into her bag and found her favorite necklace. The polished bone choker accented her long neck and always made her feel prettier. Then she pulled out a comb and began working the snarls out of her hair so she could braid it. She sat on a log while the men wrung out their clothes behind her.

  Diah offered her a shy smile, making her wonder if he’d peeked at her when she changed. She didn’t mind if he had. Maybe he wouldn’t decline her invitation next time.

  She closed her eyes and tried to forget his kiss, but she couldn’t. He’d even haunted her dreams. When she awoke, she yearned to have him lying next to her. How would it feel to fall asleep wrapped in his strong arms? And as large as he was elsewhere, would he be proportional where it counted? She imagined what it would feel like to have him thrusting inside her, and a dull, cramping ache spread through the lower part of her stomach.

  “Did you remember to grab saddles for these horses?” Cager asked, snatching her from her daydreams.

  “No, I was trying to get off the boat before I got incinerated.” She threw the comb down. Why did he have to ruin her morning by complaining? “Just be thankful I remembered to grab you a horse at all.”

  “But how are we supposed to ride without saddles?”

  “The Lakota ride without saddles.” She reached back and began braiding her hair. “Don’t tell me you’re less of a man than our warriors.” It was a definite hit below the belt and she smiled sweetly.

  Cager stomped one boot on her log and leaned over her. “You are trying to compare me to a bunch of savages?”

  He would have to try harder if he wanted to intimidate her. She tied a piece of leather string around the end of her braid as if he weren’t there.

  Diah caught his shoulder and spun him around. “Leave her alone, Cager. Like she said, we should be grateful we even have horses.” He pulled his suspenders up and didn’t back away until his brother stepped off the log. “Besides, I think it would be wise to move out before someone realizes we have theirs.”

  “I agree.” Oni stood and slung her pack over her back. “There’s a settlement about two days’ ride from here if we keep up a good pace. You can probably find a saddle there.”

  Cager trailed after her. “And what are we supposed to do in the meantime?”

  “Improvise.”

  They followed the western edge of the Missouri River and made decent progress once Cager stopped complaining. The sun hung low in the sky when Oni decided they’d ridden far enough for the day. She dismounted and indicated the brothers should do the same.

  They awkwardly slid off their horses, their expressions tight with pain. Pampered city boys. A giggle threatened to surface, so she turned away before they realized she was laughing at them.

  “How much farther to that settlement?” Diah asked. The fatigue of the long ride carved deep lines across his face and he grimaced when took his first steps.

  “We should be at Fort Pierre by tomorrow afternoon if my estimations are correct.” Her shoulders knotted. If she had any say in this matter, they wouldn’t even be stopping there. As it was, all she could do is hope they stayed long enough to buy saddles and move on. Maybe if she made them ride faster in the morning, they wouldn’t be tempted to stay overnight.

  Cager squatted and rubbed his thighs. “I hope they have soft beds and hot food there. I can’t feel my damn legs after today’s ride, much less my balls.”

  Diah frowned. “Cager, watch your language.”

  “What? It’s just Oni. It’s not like she’s expecting me to be on my best Sunday behavior around her.”

  “I have no idea how any woman could resist you when you’re this charming, Cager.” She tied her horse to a tree branch and began gathering firewood. One of the benefits to staying close to the river meant they wouldn’t have to burn buffalo chips tonight. She wrinkled her nose as she remembered the damp, musty smell of them.

  Cager groaned and stretched his back. “I’m starting to wonder why I gave up civilization for this.”

  She dumped the wood on a patch of bare earth. “If you wanted all your luxuries, then you shouldn’t have agreed to go buffalo hunting.”

  Diah knelt beside her and helped her start the fire, lighting a match and slowly feeding kindling to the flames. It was only the middle of September and the air was already crisp. The warmth of the fire would feel good in about an hour, but something stronger called to her now. A more primal need. Almost a week had passed since she last shifted.

  “I’m going to scout the area, see what I can find.” She stood and brushed the dust off her dress.

  Diah frowned. “Maybe I should come with you.”

  Panic seized her throat like a noose. He couldn’t see her shift. She shook her head until she found her voice. “That’s not necessary. I can take care of myself. Besides, I’d prefer to have some time alone to, um, take care of personal needs.” Hopefully that would scare him off.

  “Let her go, Diah. What does she have to worry about around here?”

  She never thought she’d be getting support from Cager. “He’s right. It’s still daylight, and you’d only slow me down. I’ll be back before it gets dark, I promise.”

  He still didn’t appear comfortable with letting her wander the prairie alone, but he turned his attention back to the fire and began setting up the camp.

  Oni walked west as fast as she could without running. As soon as she was out of eyesight, she gave in to her need to shift. Her clothes melted away and her human body shrank into the tan-and-copper form of a coyote. The wind rippled her fur. Whenever she went more than a few days without shifting, the need almost smothered her. Now, her heart danced at the freedom her new form offered her.

  A howl burst from her mouth as she ran through the tall grass. A series of yips answered to her right and she turned toward them. A pack. Perhaps she would have the opportunity to hunt before she was forced to return to the camp.

  The other coyotes stared at her for a minute before creeping closer and sniffing her. Once they realized she wasn’t a threat to the pack, they began nuzzling her and playfully bouncing around her. A connection formed among them. The whispers of their thoughts invaded her mind. They knew she wasn’t like them, but they welcomed her on the hunt.

  Like a finely tuned orchestra, each member of the pack knew what part to play in the harmony of the hunt. The musky scent of a jackrabbit filled her nostrils and the pack gave chase. As she closed the space between her and her prey, she felt a twinge of pity for those who could never experience the thrill of shape-shifting and having the spirit of the coyote fill them. She offered a prayer of thanks to the Wakan Tanka for bestowing this gift on her.

  Her excitement rose when she realized the pack had cornered four of the jackrabbits. Maybe she could have on
e all to herself. The others gravitated to their prey, leaving her one to her left. She pounced on it and sank her teeth into its throat. The metallic taste of blood filled her mouth, tainted by fear and finally death. She lapped it up as if it was the sweetest elixir in the world and gave the limp body a victorious shake.

  One of the other coyotes lifted its head from its dinner and sniffed the air. A growl of warning followed. Someone was coming.

  Oni dropped her catch and sniffed. Man. A familiar scent, someone she knew. The human side of her consciousness began to overwhelm her mind. She reluctantly shifted back. Her clothes reappeared as if she’d never shifted—part of the magic that came from her ability to embrace the spirit of the coyote. But the taste of blood lingered in her mouth, reminding her it wasn’t all a dream.

  “Oni!” Diah’s voice called through the low light of the dusk.

  Sighing, she stood and grabbed the jackrabbit by the ears. “Over here.”

  The coyotes danced around her like small children, hoping to grab a snatch of meat from her catch. She held it out of their reach and walked toward him.

  When she came into his view, he raised his rifle.

  “It’s just me, Diah,” she said, waving him away.

  He lowered it. “I heard coyotes and I was worried.” A series of yips and howls sang behind her, and he aimed his rifle in that direction.

  “No.” Oni grabbed the barrel and pointed it up. “Don’t shoot them.”

  “But they’re coyotes. They could attack us.”

  She laughed. “Coyotes tend to avoid humans. Besides, they’re considered sacred to my people. Never take a life unless there is a reason.”

  She seemed to have a talent for confusing him because, once again, his forehead wrinkled. He relaxed and lowered his gun. “Sorry, Oni. I guess I’m a little on edge tonight.”

  “I’ll let you know if there’s something to worry about.” She stroked his cheek. It was smooth again. He’d taken the time to shave while she was gone. Desire stirred within her, but she knew better than to dwell on it. She’d only end up alone and frustrated like last night. Instead, she held up her prey. “How does roasted jackrabbit sound for dinner?”

  He grinned and took the rabbit from her. “Much better than dried venison.”

  They walked back to camp in silence. Oni used the time to adjust from her coyote mind to her human one. Such different perspectives on life. Sometimes she wished she could run carefree across the prairie rather than deal with the day-to-day emotions like guilt, anger and lust. Things were much simpler when all she worried about was catching dinner and avoiding wolves. She looked up at the waning moon and wondered if she’d get them to the buffalo hunting grounds before the next full moon. The pull to shift would be the strongest then and she doubted she’d be able to resist it.

  When Cager came into view, Diah tossed the jackrabbit to his brother. “Make yourself useful. Get this skinned and on a spit.”

  He jumped as it landed on his stomach. “Sweet Jesus, what did you do to it? Rip its throat out?”

  Oni’s face grew warm. Perhaps she’d been a little too eager to kill it.

  “Oni took it from some coyotes.”

  “And you want to eat something they killed?”

  “It doesn’t look like it’s been gnawed on.” Oni took a swig of water to wash the lingering taste of blood and fur from her mouth. “Besides, you don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to.”

  Cager held it up, the disgust still on his face. “And what are you going to be doing while I’m prepping it?”

  Diah pressed his hand against her shoulder and turned her away from the fire. “I’m going to teach Oni how to shoot a gun before it gets too dark. I don’t want her being out here without knowing how to handle one.”

  Oni opened her mouth to tell him she was more than familiar with a rifle, but surely he’d know that. After all, she’d been roaming these plains alone for over a decade. Just because she didn’t own a gun now didn’t mean she couldn’t handle one. On the other hand, she wouldn’t mind some alone time with Diah. Maybe she could change his mind about what he should and shouldn’t do with her.

  He led her to a spot far enough away from the camp that the fire became a distant flicker. “Hold this.” He gave her the rifle and placed a rock on a prairie dog hill about a hundred paces away. “Let’s see if you can hit that. Or at least get close to it.”

  Her lips twitched in silent laughter. She’d done this drill hundreds of time, but never with an instructor like him. “Sounds good to me.”

  Diah stood behind her. “Let me show you how to hold the rifle.”

  Oni kept silent as he wrapped his arms around hers and guided the rifle up to her right shoulder. If he got much closer, she might forget where she was and accidentally fire the gun before she was supposed to.

  “The first thing to do is make sure the butt of the rifle sits squarely in the pocket of your shoulder.”

  His breath tickled her ear, and her trousers grew damp. “I thought I would want to make sure the rifle was loaded.” She looked back to him with a teasing smile.

  “Good point. Just to let you know, I always keep my rifle loaded.”

  “I bet you do.”

  Diah drew in a sharp breath after he caught the innuendo. Then he chuckled softly. “Let’s finish the lesson before it gets too dark to see the target.”

  “If you insist.” She faced forward and waited for his next set of instructions.

  “Put your right hand here near the trigger.” His hand guided hers there and covered it. “Your left hand needs to be on the barrel, like this.”

  She barely listened to him. The way his broad shoulders completely encircled her distracted her from his lesson.

  “Lean your cheek against the stock so you can see down the gun at your target.”

  Her forehead brushed against his jaw as she followed his instructions. Her heart raced. It was torture to be this close to him and not feel his lips on hers.

  “Once you have your target in sight, control your breathing. You want to be totally relaxed before you pull the trigger, or the recoil will hurt. Inhale and slowly exhale.”

  She tried to breathe in and out like he suggested, but the air refused to flow properly. With him nearby, she could only manage shallow breaths.

  “Oni, why aren’t you relaxing? Are you scared of the gun?”

  “No, I…” She lifted her cheek off the stock and turned to him. His lips were inches from hers and she couldn’t resist them anymore.

  His muscles tensed as she kissed him, and she wondered if she had made a mistake. When she tried to back away, he cupped her cheek and steered her face back to his. Now it was his turn to kiss her. The heat of it almost caused her to drop the rifle. His tongue filled her mouth, teasing the recesses and pulling back to trace the edge of her lips.

  She sighed as his other hand slid along her back and cradled her buttocks, pulling her closer. There was no hiding the evidence of his desire. She rubbed against the growing bulge in his pants and he moaned. His kiss became more urgent, more needful, more selfish.

  Then someone cleared his throat behind them.

  Diah broke away, and Oni whirled around to see Cager standing a few feet away with his arms crossed and a very amused expression on his face. “Were you teaching her how to shoot a rifle or how to handle another type of loaded weapon?”

  Her gaze fell on the erection that strained against the buttons of Diah’s trousers. What she wouldn’t give to have that inside her right now. Instead, Cager’s interruption had ruined the moment. Homicidal thoughts flittered through her mind. Her grip tightened on the rifle.

  Diah ran his hand through his hair. “I was—I mean, we were—”

  “It was quite obvious what you were doing, little brother.” His grin grew less playful as he came closer. “Perhaps you should go back, tend to the cooking and leave the shooting lessons to a more skilled marksman.” His gaze focused on her lips.

  She’d rat
her kiss a buffalo than Cager.

  The heat of Diah’s temper rolled off him in waves. His hand balled up into a fist and he took a step toward him. “That won’t be necessary.”

  Stars above, was there anything they didn’t want to come to blows over? “I think I understand how to shoot a rifle now.” Two sets of blue eyes turned to her and she lifted the rifle to her shoulder. As she exhaled, she squeezed the trigger. The rock on the prairie dog hill flew up into the air.

  When Oni looked back, they both wore matching expression of shock. Perhaps there was some sort of family resemblance, after all. She giggled as she returned Diah’s rifle and walked back to the camp. He probably wouldn’t offer her any more shooting lessons in the future, but maybe she could find another reason to get Diah alone.

  Chapter Seven

  Diah yawned and stretched his aching shoulders as his horse plodded along. Between the hard ground and the memory of his kiss with Oni, he hadn’t slept well the night before. He still wasn’t sure if he should thank Cager or break his nose. If he hadn’t interrupted them, Diah doubted he would have been able to resist her much longer. She already occupied his thoughts too much as it was. He didn’t need desire clouding his mind.

  But, dear God, I want her more than any woman I have ever known.

  One thing still plagued his mind, though.

  He nudged his horse forward and gritted his teeth. The jostling heightened the discomfort in his already sensitive groin. He breathed a sigh of relief when he came alongside her and could slow down. “Oni, if you already knew how to shoot a rifle, why did you allow me to teach you?” And make a big fool of myself. Based on her accuracy, she was more than familiar with guns.

  “I thought the answer was quite obvious.” She lowered her lashes and cast a seductive glance in his direction.

  His cock stiffened. She’d set him up. She wanted to be alone with him. She wanted to be close enough to him to kiss and tease. And he’d played into her plans like a fly in a spider’s web. Only now, he wasn’t so sure he could escape. Or if he wished to. But he still questioned her motives, and that was enough to keep from giving in to her forward advances.