Scenes from the Epic Life of a Total Genius
Page 9
So if you want to hang out this weekend, I’m always free to see you!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
From: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)
To: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
Sent: January 8, 22:15
Hi Arthur!
Oh NO! I’m SO sorry to hear about you and Anila! I thought you were such a great couple!
I think that maybe we should not hang out this weekend! I know that when I’ve been broken up with that I needed some time to be just ME, by myself! Plus, you and I make such great FRIENDS, don’t you think?!
Kennedy :)
From: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
To: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)
Sent: January 9, 8:34
Dear Kennedy,
Don’t worry about me. I didn’t get broken up with! I’m happy to hang out with you anytime doing whatever. It doesn’t have to be romantic. Maybe if you’re going to the mall or something I could come. Whatever you want to do!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
Assignment: Persuasive Writing: Television vs. Movies
By Arthur Bean
Everybody wants to be a movie star, but they are in the wrong field. Television is a much better idea. It seems like a crazy idea from someone who is going to be a famous screenwriter. However, my upcoming movie is purely my way to break into the television market. Even Steven Spielberg is making TV shows now!
Television is better if you’re an actor or screenwriter, because even though you get smaller paycheques, you get more of them. For example, my first series will run for over three years. I will negotiate to make over a million dollars per episode. If there are twenty episodes, that’s twenty million dollars in one year!
In the TV business, you can also be lazier. Actors on TV shows only have to work an hour a day, and only for a few months. In film, the days on a movie set are long and gruelling, so you really have to work for your money.
Also, TV is better because more people will know who you are. Even poor people have televisions. So it’s easier to be famous and more recognizable around the world.
TV isn’t all tea and roses, as my mother would say. As a writer, you need to think about your story arc years in advance. That’s a lot more planning than you need to do for a movie.
That’s why television is way better than movies, and I can say that, because I work in movies, so my opinion is pretty balanced.
Arthur,
I appreciate the thought that you put into this assignment. It clearly is a subject that speaks to you. However, be sure to check your facts; a strong argument can be lost when the facts are incorrect. Remember that your conclusion should remind the reader of the arguments you stated in defence of your main point, as well as leave a lasting impression. You don’t want to undercut the point you’re making by letting the ending go to waste.
Ms Whitehead
DUDE SOS! SOS!!!!
Did someone find out about the camera? Who knows about the camera? Did you tell them that I was only a bystander?
What are we going to do? I can’t leave school or run away. I have a girlfriend! It would break Kennedy’s heart if I left.
I knew this would happen! I told you not to take it! I told you they wouldn’t think you were borrowing it. It’s in MY closet. What should I do?? Destroy the evidence?!
NO ITS MY BRO. HES IN JAIL!!!!!!!!!!
What happened? What did he do? Did he take the fall for the camera?
Why aren’t you responding? I HATE TEXTING!! I’m calling you.
January 16th
Dear RJ,
Robbie’s brother is a criminal! He got caught shoplifting at the drugstore. They called the cops and everything. Robbie said that his dad had to go down and get Caleb from this little room they have for criminals. It’s like a holding cell at the back of the store. I bet it had a two-way mirror. I wonder if they interrogated him like on TV.
Anyway, Robbie is freaked out because the store management is saying that they might press charges. It wasn’t even anything really big. He took a couple of packs of mechanical pencils and a thermos. I mean, stealing is stealing, but wouldn’t you take something useful? Robbie said that Caleb doesn’t seem to care. He said he just went to his room and hasn’t come out. Now Robbie isn’t allowed to go out, even though he didn’t do anything. We’d talked about working on the movie this weekend, but that’s not going to happen. Especially because no one can ever see the camera now. At least Robbie finally gets that we can’t have the camera around. If his parents or the cops found out, that would be it!
I’ll keep you posted about Robbie’s brother. Robbie made me promise not to tell anyone, but I don’t think you count!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
From: Von Ipo (thenexteastwood@hotmail.com)
To: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
Sent: January 18, 17:07
Hey, Arthur!!
How’s it going? Did you finish the Math homework? I basically got it all done in class, but if you didn’t I can help you. I basically can do any math in my head, so it makes it really easy.
I don’t have hockey this weekend, so you could come over and I can teach you how to use my video camera. It’s pretty detailed, because it’s basically top of the line, like what Steven Spielberg uses, but I’m really good at teaching people how to use it. We could even start shooting some of the scenes if you want. I asked Robbie to come too, but he said that he can’t, but that you didn’t have anything to do!
Von
Thanks a lot, man. You really had to tell Von I had nothing to do? I actually have plenty to do. Kennedy and I are hanging out.
dude no your not i texted w catie last nite and she said she was going to the mall with k.
Don’t believe everything Catie says. She told Ms Whitehead in class yesterday that Ben had fallen off his roof and broken his back, and all he had was a dentist appointment.
January 18th
Dear RJ,
Do you think that Kennedy is actually just going to the mall with Catie? Why wouldn’t she invite me to come? I even asked if that was what she was doing, and she never responded.
Do you think that she’s mad at me?
I’ve been racking my brains to think of what I might have done wrong, but I can’t come up with anything! I’ve totally kept my New Year’s resolution. I’m pretty sure I’ve been the best boyfriend ever, even though we’re not technically dating. I leave her a note in her locker every day. In one of them I even put a bunch of glitter in the shapes of hearts, and I know she opened it, because I saw all the glitter on the floor by her locker on Wednesday. She said that I didn’t need to do that, and that it was kind of embarrassing, but I know that she likes the attention.
I tried calling her tonight, but she didn’t pick up. I’ll try her again in the morning, and maybe she’ll invite me then.
Robbie doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Catie lies about stuff all the time. I don’t know why he always talks to her and texts her.
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
Hi, Anila. I just thought I would let you know that there’s a show about shark finning that I think you would like.
It’s on right now. Channel 17.
Oh man! Sharks are being slaughtered! You should really watch this show! I’m learning so much.
I really am sorry.
im SO BORED
I know. Me too.
wat r u doing?
Watching a TV show about animals. Let’s have animals in Zombie School! The guinea pigs from the Animal Care Club could be zombies that eat the hamsters.
YES!!! more carnaje the better. did u kno catie started that club?
I bet she never cleans the cages. She just goes to cuddle cute things and then says she’s allergic to sawdust.
ive decided im gonna ask catie out
What? WHY?
dude
r u kidding? shes hot and shes allways talking 2 me. can u talk 2 kenny and find out if shes single?
I don’t really know how to do that.
figger it out.
Hey, Artie!
The library is having a giant Used-Book Sale next week. (The sale is giant. Not the books! At least, I think so!) There’s going to be all kinds of books for sale, and they are still accepting donations from families. Do you think you could Dewey decimal me a favour and write a piece for the Marathon?
Cheers!
Mr. E.
From: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
To: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)
Sent: January 23, 18:10
Dear Kennedy,
I wrote you a poem today when I was bored in Science. I know that sounds so corny, but I wanted you to have it anyway!
When a boy likes a girl, he buys candy
But in Science class, that’s not so handy
I wanted to get you some jujubes
But instead, I hope you like these test tubes!
Anyway, I hope you think it’s funny. I was thinking that we could hang out this weekend. I’m happy to do whatever you want.
Also, do you know if Catie has a boyfriend? I’m just asking for a friend who likes her. IT’S NOT FOR ME!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
From: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)
To: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
Sent: January 23, 20:04
Hi Arthur!
OMG Does Robbie like Catie?!?! That’s HILARIOUS LOL!!! I wonder what she would say if he asks her out!
Catie and I are going to the mall this weekend! If you want, you can come with us!
We’re going to get perfume samples and maybe go see the new Disney movie LOL! It’s going to be SUPER girly but I think it will be really fun!
Kennedy :)
From: Arthur Bean (arthuraaronbean@gmail.com)
To: Kennedy Laurel (imsocutekl@hotmail.com)
Sent: January 23, 20:13
Dear Kennedy,
I will be there! What did you think of my poem?
I never said that it was Robbie. I just said a friend. But if it was Robbie, what do you think Catie would say?
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
ZOMBIE SCHOOL
by Arthur Bean and Robbie Zack
and Von Ipo
January 24 Production Meeting Notes
Continue working on your scene breakdown. Typical AV Club projects have a running time of 7 minutes, as scripts, storyboards and rehearsal require time and effort. It’s better to have a strong, short film rather than no film at all. –Mrs. Ireland
Scene Thirteen: The Mall
The GGA meets the zombies, but they are trapped in the food court because the zombies knew about their plans. They kill a lot of zombies, but they lose a lot of the GGA in the battle (they die horrible and gruesome deaths, including Tuff Arnold). Nunchucks is one of the ones who gets killed too, but he apologizes to Blazer as he’s going down and they know that Nunchucks is the one who told the zombies. Blazer and Zipcode have this epic battle with the zombies, and then when they are cornered, they jump over the McDonalds counter and fight from there. Zipcode notices that there’s another exit out the back, and he yells, “Hey! Blazer! Let’s get out of here!” And Blazer yells, “But I’m loving it!!” And Zipcode yells, “Let’s go!” So they try and leave, but right as they’re getting out the door, a zombie grabs hold of Blazer and rips his arm off. Blazer screams and blacks out, and Zipcode has to grab him and pull him out the door to safety. The last part of the scene is the zombies eating Blazer’s arm.
FOR FUTURE MEETINGS:
Tuff Arnold can’t die in the mall scene, because I already wrote him into the final scene. –VI
How did YOU write him into the final scene? We haven’t got a final scene yet. –AB
I started writing out lines so that our script can be awesome! –VI
Actually, Robbie and I are naturals at improv, so we don’t need a script. –AB
I thot we were adding ginny pig zombies. –rz
Right! We should put them into the beginning of the movie too. And they can be there, and then die, and come back. Once we’re done, let’s add that. –AB
like forshadoweing. awesome. –rz
Why are we putting in guinea pig zombies? –VI
It’s an inside joke. –AB
Oh, cool! I love inside jokes! –VI
I prefer Von’s idea of writing the script to move the filming process along. Projects must be well thought out and scripted in order to facilitate a successful filming of the project. –Mrs. Ireland
AV CLUB POLICY — Amended #5
1. Any student may join the AV Club.
2. All equipment must be reserved ahead of time and signed out upon use and signed in upon return.
3. Have fun!
4. Filming must take place in sanctioned school areas. There is no filming in areas restricted to students, such as the basement, the roof and the staff room.
5. There will be no guns in the film, and other weaponry will be kept to a bare minimum.
6. All equipment must be provided by the students or the Drama Department. Any additional equipment must be requisitioned through the AV Club administrators.
7. Special effects involving explosions are expressly forbidden.
8. Scripts are necessary to facilitate a successful project.
Assignment: Introductions and Thesis Statements
Every strong essay has a thesis statement that outlines the writer’s overarching point. As we’ve practised in class, write an introductory paragraph to a persuasive essay on one of the topics written on the board. You won’t be writing the entire essay, but develop your introduction as though you would be. Underline the thesis statement in your paragraph, and outline your three main arguments supporting your thesis statement. Don’t forget to hook your audience with a catchy title and unique first sentence!
Due: January 31
January 25th
Dear RJ,
I finally get to see Kennedy outside of school tomorrow! It doesn’t sound like the most fun thing ever, but at least we’ll get to hang out. She’s pretty excited to see me.
I think this might be the first time that people who know us will see us hanging out as a couple, basically. I wonder if I should hold her hand. Or should I put my arm on her shoulder? I tried that at New Year’s, but I felt so awkward, and I didn’t know if I should rest my arm on her shoulders, so I just kind of let it rest lightly, but my arm got really tired like that, so I was glad when she moved. But I see guys practically leaning on their girlfriends. It’s like a sign that they are a couple. I want people to see me and Kennedy and think, “Wow. That’s a cute couple and they are so in love. Look at how close they stand.”
Maybe Catie will like Robbie back and then the four of us can go out. If Robbie dates Catie then I bet Robbie and Kennedy will make up and then both Kennedy and Catie could be in our movie and we’ll be a powerhouse!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
January 26th
Dear RJ,
Well, that was the worst mall trip ever. Kennedy wasn’t joking about going to get perfume samples. She and Catie walked around this giant makeup store I didn’t even know existed — for 45 minutes — spraying the air in front of them and twirling around in the perfumes. They smelled terrible by the end and I had a headache. Then Kennedy got mad because she asked which perfume I liked best and I said that I couldn’t tell because she had so many on. So then I had to apologize over and over and I ended up buying all the drinks and candy to sneak into the movie. In case you’re wondering, I didn’t try putting my arm on her shoulder because I didn’t want to smell like all the perfume she had on, so I just walked beside her trying not to gag.
The worst part was when I tried to ask Catie about Robbie. She thought that I was joking. When I said that I wasn
’t, she started laughing because she said that it was the funniest thing she’d ever heard. She said she would never go out with him because he was getting so fat and that his brother was a loser. I tried to say that Robbie was really awesome, but she wasn’t listening. She was just making jokes with Kennedy about how Robbie would take her out for dinner but she would have to eat beforehand because he would probably eat her meal too.
It was terrible. Kennedy was laughing too and I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything, I just fake laughed because I didn’t want them to think I was a loser too. I felt so bad for doing it, especially because Robbie isn’t that fat and I don’t think he’s a loser, but his brother is a loser, so some of Catie’s jokes were actually pretty funny.
But now I don’t know what to tell Robbie when he asks about what Catie said. Maybe I should tell him that Latha likes him, and then he’ll forget about Catie. Man, RJ. I thought only girls had to deal with this kind of stuff!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
did catie ask about me at the mall? wat did she say?
I didn’t ask her. I don’t think you should ask her out.
im going to do it.
I really don’t think you should ask Catie out. She’s best friends with Kennedy. You hate Kennedy. If you date Catie you would have to hang out with Kennedy too, you know.
too late. i texted her and asked her out. fingers xed!