Million Pound Appointments

by Higgins, Malcolm

  "It's ok it's ok." Shouts Larry. "I saw it go straight through."

  "Saw it go straight through? Shouts Noz. "How the fuck is seeing it go straight through, ok?"

  Chapter 13.

  Rajeev is reading the Sir Roger Moore autobiography, when Amir is thrown unceremoniously back into their room. Rajeev sighs with relief because he welcomes the disruption to his current reading matter. He's finding the book heavy going due to the fact that in his mind if it doesn't star Sean Connery, it's not a Bond film. There isn't much talking between Rajeev and Amir anymore, because Rajeev keeps having to tell Amir to shut up when he starts saying things like, he will soon be able to kill everyone. He doesn't want to hear that kind of dangerous talk. Amir goes to the window and looks out. Rajeev continues to read the book, but he's still finding it really hard going. Rajeev takes his eyes away from the autobiography to look at Amir. He thinks Amir is just standing there staring off into space, and decides not to start a conversation with him, and tries to get back into the book. A pigeon crashing into the closed window startles Rajeev making him jump. He looks at Amir who doesn't react at all, which he thinks is strange. He gets up and looks out of the window and gasps. On the lawn are several dead and flailing birds.

  "What have you done?" Shouts Rajeev. "Is that you, are you doing this?"

  Another pigeon flies straight into the window. Amir doesn't have to answer.

  Tommy Rae and Daz are both squeezed in behind the desk. Daz with his permanent grimace, and Tommy Rae with a warm smile. Jane has come to see him. She wants to clear the air. Every time she visits Tommy Rae, she always brings him a finely decorated cake.

  "You're a good girl Janey." Says Tommy.

  He's always had a soft spot for her, he likes her and she sort of likes him. They have an understanding that neither of them understand, but it's there all the same.

  "I know how much you like your cakes Tommy." Jane says warmly.

  "And your cakes are the best cakes in the world my dear." Says Tommy. "Did you make bake and decorate it yourself?"

  He always asks her that. He knows she didn't, but it's fun. He also knows what her reply is going to be because he's heard it dozens of times before, and loves to speak it back with her.

  "Of course Tommy, I've been up all night making that sod." They both say together.

  "You ought to open a shop Janey, that's as good as any you can buy in any bakers that I know of." He says laughing.

  "I haven't got the time Tommy." They say together. "I've got my hands full looking after all the sick little orphans."

  Daz closes his eyes and thinks 'oh no not this old shit again' Daz has heard this routine dozens of times too; he didn't find it amusing the first time, and isn't finding it amusing this time either.

  "He knows he did wrong Tommy." She slips in while he's still laughing.

  He slowly stops laughing, and is a little sad that she's cut their routine in half. It usually goes on for much longer. He loves saying the bit with her when she tells him how she spends her evenings, mending the broken wings of little birds, and the broken legs of baby hedgehogs that have been attacked by horrid cats dogs and foxes. He holds her with his eyes hoping she'll start again. Daz holds her with his, hoping she won't. She doesn't.

  "It's not so much the wrong doing Janey, it's where that wrong doing took place, and all the people that saw that wrong doing, that's riled me." Says Tommy.

  Daz leans forward.

  "You know the mayor's wife broke her fucking hip again don't you?"

  "I didn't know that Daz. No." Answers Jane.

  "Well she did." He barks. "And it was your fucking husband's fault last time too. Giving a sixty-nine year old the bumps on her birthday."

  "He didn’t mean it. Her ankles slipped out of his hands."

  It not that Daz dislikes Jane he doesn't, he just hasn't any warmth inside him. Never has, not even a glimmer. To be fair to the brute it isn't entirely his fault. The Hammer House of Horrors wouldn't touch Daz's childhood memories. His violent father made Daz fight dogs. He would buy a mongrel, put it on a lead and goad it into attacking the seven year old Daz. 'Bite him boy, go on bite him' He'd then shout at Daz, 'He's gonna bite ya son, he's gonna sink his teeth into your legs and it's really gonna hurt ya' The dog would be so stressed it would do whatever his new master told it to do. Daz would be crying and terrified. A camcorder would already have been set up to film the sickening event. 'I'm gonna let it go boy, he's gonna bite ya, you're gonna have to kill it.' It was then, just before he'd let the dog go, that he would throw a kitchen knife, or an axe, at Daz's feet. He'd let the mongrel off the lead, and the poor thing would be so stressed, wound up, and confused, it would run at Daz teeth on show. Daz had no more than four seconds to pick up the knife or axe, and fight the dog off. To this day Daz's legs and arms are covered in bite marks, and that's because seven year olds don't naturally have it in them to plunge a kitchen knife into a living creature. But when a dog is savaging your legs and your father is screaming 'Kill the fucker you stupid little cunt, kill it, kill it' you have no choice but to kill it. You know the pain will stop. By the time Daz had killed his eighteenth dog; a stolen American pit bull, his father had become bored with the spectacle. There was no longer any sport in it for him. Daz was killing the dogs with a single stab of a knife, or a single blow to the head with an axe. Showing warmth to others isn't easy if your informative years are spent like that. His early teens were just as bad. His violent drunken father would often come home from the pub and beat and rape his mother in front of him and his sisters. His violent drunken father often made him punish his sisters for some silly little thing they'd done, or hadn't done, by hitting them twenty times, sometimes more, with a metal ruler hard on the sole of each foot, otherwise it'll be his feet that got it. When at the age of fifteen, after hearing your drunken violent father tell you 'I'm gonna video you fucking your sisters when we get home' you snap, and push him down a long flight of concrete stairs killing him. There isn't much room for warmth towards others.

  Tommy continues…

  "Bobby Burkes fifteen year old daughter Samantha, put it on something called, You Tube." He says.

  "Which means a lot of people see your fucking husband come to this house and totally rip the piss out of Mr. Rae." Snaps Daz.

  "Ah. I had no idea about the You Tube thing Tommy. Can't you get them to take it off?"

  "Don't you think we've fucking tried woman?" Snaps Daz.

  "Apparently." Says Tommy. "Its had something called, hits, eleven million of them so far. Do you know what 'hits' are?"

  Jane is about to answer Tommy Rae, when he knocks her for six.

  "I don't like punishing fifteen year old girls Janey, but because of your unhinged husband, I've had to."

  Jane sighs with dread.

  "Oh Mr. Rae you haven't. What have you done?"

  Tommy Rae realises Jane has dropped the 'Tommy' and is now calling him Mr. Rae, he's upset her, so he'll do the head movement and let Daz carry on.

  "We gave little Sammy Burke a lift home from school the other night. We put a big black dildo in her hand, and told her to film herself masturbating with it, and put it on You Tube, or, get herself pregnant by a Jamaican, a Nigerian, an African… a.." He's trying to think of other countries to mention. Tommy Rae leans forward.

  "A black man." He explains to Jane.

  "Otherwise we'd cut her face and make her dad disappear." Adds Daz.

  "Tommy." Jane snaps, making Tommy Rae remember how his mum would say 'Tommy' just like that, when he was being a naughty boy.

  "That's too much."

  Tommy Rae gives Daz an annoyed 'I told you' look.

  "Most kids have mobiles these days and film all sorts of rubbish." Says Jane. "It's what they do. Those eleven million people don't know you personally, you can't make her do things like that, I mean it Tommy, it's too much."

  Tommy Rae quite likes being told off, it's a rare event these days, makes him feel all warm and cosy inside. P
erhaps if he doesn't say anything she'll continue.

  "Tommy?" She says sternly.

  He hears his mother's voice again. The time when she found gay porno pictures hidden under his wardrobe.

  "Poor little girl, she must be worried sick, what was you thinking of?"

  Tommy Rae is having the time of his life right now.

  "And I hope you didn't buy her a big black dildo."

  "It wasn't a massive one, about ten inches I think."

  "Ten inches? She's fucking fifteen years old, fifteen."

  Unfortunately, Daz spoils Tommy's telling-off.

  "Ok, well you're a woman, how do we punish the little whore then?"

  She sits up straight and looks Tommy Rae in the eyes.

  "I know how this You Tube thing works Mr. Rae, a couple of days, a week at the most, and they'll all be laughing at something else. I'm going to call Bobby right now."

  She takes out her mobile phone scrolls down and presses dial.

  "It's ringing." She says looking at Tommy. "Hello Bobby, its Jane Webster, is your little Sammy in? Oh its nothing to worry about Bob. I've got to buy a birthday present for a little girl the same age as Sammy so I thought I'd pick her brains, that's all, is that ok Bob?"

  She snaps her finger and thumb, and points at Tommy, hands him the mobile, and raises her eyebrows.

  "Bobby's calling her down from her bedroom." She whispers. "When he gives her the phone you put that sweet little girl out of her misery, right now."

  Tommy Rae is loving it. He's thinking 'I wish you lived here'.

  Samantha comes to the phone.

  "Hello Samantha, this is Tommy Rae." He suddenly winces. "Calm down woman."

  Jane mouths 'She's not a woman, she's a child' to him and snatches the phone back.

  "It's all right darling, it's Janey Webster. Mr. Rae just wants to apologise for frightening you the other night, he was drunk, and got you mixed up with someone else." She stares hard at him, daring him to challenge her, his face is deadpan, but in his mind he's saying 'I wouldn't charge you any rent or anything.' "Those horrible things he said you had to do, you don't."

  Daz looks at Tommy Rae, he can't understand why he's letting her walk all over him. She hands Tommy the phone and mouths the words 'tell her'

  "You don't have to do them… dear."

  Jane quickly mouths to Tommy 'Tell her you was drunk'

  "I was para…para." He's trying to think of the word 'paralytic' "I was paranormal…angel."

  He hands the phone back. If Jane told him to stand in the corner wearing a big pointy hat with the letter D on it, he happily would. She covers the mouthpiece with her hand, and lowers her voice.

  "Did you really make her take a dildo home?"

  He nods yes, and whispers…

  "A Tortoise."

  Daz leans forward and corrects him…

  "A Rabbit." He whispers.

  Jane gasps. She clearly knows that particular model.

  "Sammy, I'll drop by your place on my way home and take that nasty thing away they gave you."

  Chapter 14.

  Larry is in the garden with Rajeev and Amir. Ken has finally given in and is allowing them to get some exercise, providing Craig is there, but Craig doesn't want to be there and can't wait for the two hours to fly by, but they're dragging they're wings.

  "Why lug me into this?" He moans to Larry.

  "It's a nice evening, just relax."

  "Yeah I know it's a nice evening. I'd like to spend it in the pub with my mates playing poker thanks, not here with you and those two twats."

  "Don't call them that."

  Craig sighs because he knows he's trapped there for ninety more minutes. He sits down next to Larry and they watch Rajeev and Amir walking aimlessly around the garden.

  "I bet they'd rather be down the pub too." Says Craig.

  "They don't drink." Answers Larry.

  "Of course they drink, everybody drinks."

  Craig and Larry are unaware that Jane is behind them putting cat food into several bowls on the grass.

  "Have you ever fucked his wife." Asks Craig nonchalantly.

  "Whose wife?"

  Jane hears Craig, but thinks he's talking about someone else's wife.

  "The boss's."

  "I hope you don't mean, your boss's."

  "Yeah I do. Have you? Or rather, has she fucked you?" He laughs.

  Jane gets up, backs out of sight, and listens.

  "Why the hell would you ask me something like that?"

  "No reason. Have you?"

  "You better get any thoughts like that out of your head, you've more chance of jumping over the moon than having sex with Jane, and if Ken ever heard you talking like that you'd be dead."

  "I already have."

  "Already have what?"

  "Fucked her."

  Larry doesn't believe him for one second, and sniggers. Jane closes her eyes in dread.

  "I have, she sort of made me, used me really, apparently she's got this need, don't know if I'd do it again though, she's a bit rough when she's at it, and she's got a right hard punch on her too, but she was good I suppose for an old bird."

  "Yeah in your dreams." Larry says dismissively.

  "I fucking have I'm telling you."

  "Fuck off."

  Larry gets up and walks over to Rajeev and Amir. Jane goes into the house. Amir starts to stare hard at Craig.

  "Who you looking at?" Asks Craig.

  Amir mimics Craig's voice which surprises everyone, as he gets it spot on.

  "Who you looking at?" He replies.

  Craig walks threateningly over to Amir. Rajeev and Larry step in-between them.

  "Please, he's just practising his English." Says Rajeev.

  "Who you looking at? Who you looking at? Who you looking at?" Amir says, mimicking Craig over and over again.

  "No he's not he's using my voice, listen to him, he's taking the piss."

  He pushes Amir hard in the chest.

  "Are you taking the fucking piss?" Asks Craig.

  "Are you taking the fucking piss?" Replies Amir.

  Craig punches Amir in the face. Rajeev runs forward and with Larry's help forcefully marches Amir away, but they lose their grip, and Amir walks back and squares up to Craig. Craig laughs out loud and looks in amazement at Larry.

  "Has he flipped or what, is he really up for a fight? Because the day I can't beat a fucking Paki up is the day I'll get a shelf-filling job at Sainsbury's."

  Larry gestures to Rajeev to get Amir away from Craig, but Craig's bored, so a bit of sport with Amir seems like fun.

  "You been sucking mental mints or something you little fuck?" Craig sneers in Amir's face.

  Rajeev puts his hand over Amir's mouth. He doesn't want him repeating that particular sentence. Amir moves it and begins to stare hard at Craig. Suddenly, all around the grounds, birds take to flight.

  "He doesn't know what he's doing please." Says Rajeev. "If you could just leave the garden."

  Puzzled by all the birds, Larry and Craig look up and watch them all flying away. Two birds fall from the air crashing to the ground just missing them both.

  "What the fuck?" shouts Craig.

  Rajeev isn't puzzled though. He knows Amir is killing them, he's seen it before, and not just the dead ones he witnessed from the window. He's seen the six year old Amir kill a fly by willing it dead, a party trick that made the villagers laugh and clap at the time. He's seen him move on to spiders, small birds, and snakes, and as his mysterious powers grew, his dark side became stronger. He started to enjoy killing things. When three perfectly healthy new born babies died in their sleep on the same night, the villagers became frightened, blamed him, and ten days after Michael Aspel drove out of the dry dusty village of Vapi, the elders held a secret meeting, and decided they would keep him in a hole in the ground. A hole in the ground one hundred meters from the village. They would keep him there until the evil had left his body. They believed he was possessed. Three years n
ine months of almost total darkness. Three years nine months Rajeev was the only one allowed to talk to him. Talk to him through the heavy wooden cover that trapped him underground. Three years nine months of dropping food and water down the hole to him. Three years nine months of Amir pulling a metal bucket on a rope from the hole containing Amir's faeces and urine. Three years nine months for the mystifying powers to disappear. Rajeev now knows those powers are back, and stronger than ever. As Rajeev looks at Amir, he fears he is trying to kill a man. Craig. Craig suddenly becomes conscious of Rajeev's last comment.

  "You cheeky bastard." He shouts at Rajeev. "Me leave the garden?

  Craig punches Amir to the ground, and starts kicking him all over his body, including his head. Amir seems to be inviting it by continuing to mimic Craig.

  "Me leave the garden? Me leave the garden?"

  Larry runs forward and tries to stop Craig, but he simply isn't strong enough to pull him away. Craig lands another kick to Amir's head.

  "Stop it, you'll kill him." He screams at Craig.

  A brightly coloured garden gnome, comes crashing down on Craig's head. He falls to the ground unconscious. Ken stands over him.

  "Larry?" He roars.

  Larry looks at Rajeev and gives him an, 'I've got no choice' look.

  "He was just…"

  "Kicking the shit out of my golden goose? I noticed and I also noticed that you were just standing there letting him."

  Ken throws the gnome into the bushes and stares at Larry. He wants more.

  "He was mimicking Craig's voice." Says Larry.

  Larry looks at Rajeev, and gives him another apologetic smile.

  "Well you slap the fucker and tell him to stop it." Shouts Ken.

  Amir gets up and looks at Ken. If his impersonation of Craig impressed everyone, his next impression would win him 'Britain's Got Talent'.

  "Well you slap the fucker and tell him to stop it." Shouts Amir… but if your eyes were closed, you would actually think Ken just repeated himself.

  Rajeev desperately tries to silence his brother. Ken turns to Larry and points to Craig.