Nexus Confessions

by Various

  ‘Hi, Sarah,’ Dianna’s eighteen-year-old daughter said as she approached my table. ‘Mum’s twisted her ankle so I’m here to take her place.’

  ‘Is she OK?’ I asked, concernedly.

  ‘She was in a hurry to get here and she slipped on the stairs. She’ll be all right.’

  Tanya bought herself a glass of white wine and joined me at the table. She was extremely attractive with long blonde hair cascading over her shoulders and she had a figure that any woman would die for. Her blue eyes sparkled with life, her glossed lips were full and succulent, and her smile was enchanting. She was delightful company and, to top it all, she was academic. But, despite all this, her boyfriend had recently dumped her. What more could a man want in a girl? I wondered. She didn’t go into the details, but she did say that he’d gone off with some other girl.

  Tanya was wearing a turquoise mini-skirt, and the men in the pub couldn’t take their eyes off her. The tight material of her white blouse faithfully following the contours of her petite breasts, her nipples clearly defined . . . She radiated an air of sensuality. It was no surprise that the men had never taken an interest in me, I reflected. Thirty-five years old with lank brown hair, my days of turning heads were far behind me.

  Not only did we have a great evening, but we won the quiz. I answered the music questions and Tanya went for general knowledge. We were a good team, and I suggested that she join her mum and me each week. As we walked back to her house, we chatted about this and that and got on really well together. Although I’d known her since birth, I’d never had a chance to spend any time alone with her. Having spent the evening together, I realised what a delightful girl she was.

  ‘I’d better check up on the invalid,’ I said with a giggle as she opened her front door.

  ‘I’ll put the kettle on,’ she said. ‘You go and find Mum in the lounge and I’ll bring the coffees in.’

  Dianna had gone to bed so, rather than disturb her, I sat in the lounge with Tanya. She put some music on and, again, we chatted and laughed and got on like old friends. Her father was working away, and I knew how much she missed him. What with her boyfriend dumping her and her mum in bed, I got the impression that she was pleased to have some company. Although I had to get back to John, my husband, I chatted to Tanya for over an hour. John and I hadn’t had kids, and I realised that I was envious of Dianna. If only I’d had a daughter . . . It was no good looking back.

  ‘I’d better go,’ I finally said, finishing my third cup of coffee. ‘John will be wondering where I’ve got to.’

  ‘I’ve really enjoyed this evening,’ Tanya said, following me to the front door. ‘I’ve not had such a good night out in ages.’

  ‘Me, too,’ I breathed, turning and facing her. ‘You’ll have to come along to the quiz next week.’

  As she placed her hand on my shoulder and leaned forwards, I thought that she was going to kiss my cheek. But, pressing her full red lips to mine, she kissed me passionately. I was shocked, stunned, confused . . . She finally moved back and smiled at me. I didn’t know what to think, what to say. Her blue eyes sparkling, she brushed her long blonde hair away from her pretty face and thanked me for a wonderful evening.

  Walking home, I tried to convince myself that Tanya’s kiss had been nothing more than a friendly gesture. She’d always been a cuddly, demonstrative girl, and I was sure that there’d been nothing more to her kiss. John was asleep when I slipped into bed beside him, but I couldn’t sleep. I lay my head on my pillow and stared into the darkness for hours. I was thinking about Tanya, how attractive she was, how well we got on together . . . And the way she’d kissed me.

  Dianna rang me the following morning. Her ankle was a lot better and she asked me whether John and I would like to go round to her place that evening for a drink. I was a little hesitant and said that I wasn’t sure what John had planned. I knew that Tanya would be there, and I didn’t want to face her. There’d be an awkwardness, we’d gaze at each other and . . . Was I making something out of nothing?

  ‘You have to come,’ Dianna insisted. ‘I didn’t see you last night and Tanya is looking forward to it. In fact, it was her idea.’

  ‘I’ll see what John says,’ I breathed.

  ‘I suppose you don’t need me now that you have Tanya,’ she quipped.

  ‘What do you mean by that?’

  ‘The quiz, you won the quiz.’

  ‘That was only because The Night Girls didn’t turn up. I’m not saying that Tanya was no help. It’s just that, without The Night Girls . . .’

  ‘You made a good team,’ Dianna cut in. ‘Tanya told me how much she’d enjoyed the evening and she’s going to come along every week.’

  ‘Oh, right,’ I murmured. ‘Well, that’ll be nice.’

  ‘You ask John about this evening, OK?’

  ‘Yes, yes I will.’

  ‘Great, I’ll see you both later.’

  Replacing the receiver, I realised how silly I was being. Tanya had kissed me, a simple kiss to say goodbye. Why couldn’t I face her? I knew that John had nothing planned for the evening, so why was I making excuses? But, something deep in my mind was nagging me. Tanya’s kiss . . . It wasn’t a simple goodbye gesture. So, what was it? I felt confused again as I tried to busy myself with housework. But, no matter how I tried, I couldn’t push thoughts of Tanya out of mind. I could almost smell the perfume of her hair, taste the saliva on her lips . . . I had to stop acting like a silly teenage girl and compose myself.

  John was more than happy to go round to Dianna’s place for the evening. Although I went to the quiz every Wednesday and he met up with his friends in the local pub on Fridays, it made a nice change to go out together. I grabbed a couple of bottles of white wine from the fridge and we walked the short distance to Dianna’s house. I was looking forward to the evening, and decided not to ponder on Tanya’s kiss.

  We sat on the patio with the evening sun warming us as we laughed and joked and drank wine. Tanya was wearing a loose-fitting white blouse and a red mini-skirt. Although her skirt was very short, she had beautifully long slender legs and didn’t look at all tarty. She didn’t catch my eye or flash me a knowing smile and I felt a lot easier as we chatted. Everything was normal, and I knew that I’d read more into her kiss than was there.

  ‘I think she’s in love,’ Dianna said as I followed her into the kitchen.

  ‘Who, Tanya?’ I asked her as she took another bottle of wine from the fridge.

  ‘All the signs are there. I asked her about it but she won’t tell me his name or what he looks like or how old he is. But I know that she’s in love.’

  ‘Oh, right,’ I breathed. Was I jealous? No, I couldn’t be. ‘So, has she said anything at all about him?’

  ‘All she said was that she’s met the most wonderful person ever. I got the impression that he’s quite a bit older than her. I just hope he’s not a married man.’

  Or a married woman? I mused anxiously. ‘I’m sure she’ll tell you more when she’s ready,’ I said, forcing a giggle. ‘You know what teenage girls are like.’

  We returned to the patio and drank more wine and I began to feel quite light-headed. Was it the alcohol or the thought that Tanya was in love with me? I wondered. Something was happening to me, but I didn’t know what it was. Unable to take my eyes off Tanya, I finally went into the house and stood in the kitchen. I had to free my mind of silly thoughts, I knew, as I gulped down my wine.

  ‘Alone at last,’ Tanya said as she joined me.

  ‘Yes, I . . . I was just . . .’ I stammered.

  ‘Waiting for me?’

  ‘No, I . . . I wanted a glass of water. The wine has made me feel quite thirsty.’

  ‘It’s made me feel quite sexy,’ she breathed huskily. ‘Do you feel sexy?’

  ‘Tanya, I . . .’

  As she held my head and pressed her glossed lips to mine, I felt my stomach somersault. This couldn’t be happening, I thought, as she slipped her tongue into my mouth. This was unrea
l. My husband was on the patio with Dianna, my best friend, Tanya’s mother . . . I had to push Tanya away but, as much as I tried, I couldn’t do it. I could hear John and Dianna laughing. They wouldn’t be laughing if they knew what we were up to. My eyes closed, my head spinning, I breathed heavily through my nose as Tanya explored my mouth with her tongue. I could feel her hand squeezing my breast, her fingers pinching my nipple . . .

  ‘Tanya,’ I finally gasped as I managed to step back.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said softly, licking her full lips provocatively. ‘I couldn’t help myself.’

  ‘For God’s sake, I’m not a . . .’

  ‘A lesbian?’ she cut in, cocking her head to one side and grinning at me.

  ‘Yes, no, I mean . . . Tanya, you’re my best friend’s daughter.’

  ‘I know that, Sarah.’

  ‘And John is my husband.’

  ‘I know that, too. Now that we’ve established who we are and our relationships with others, let’s talk about our relationship.’

  ‘We haven’t got a relationship, Tanya.’

  ‘Haven’t we?’

  ‘No, we haven’t. Let’s go back to the patio before . . .’

  ‘Before you change your mind about me?’

  My hands trembling, my heart banging hard against my chest, I felt my womb contract as I lowered my eyes and gazed at her long legs. The heady taste of her mouth lingering on my lips, I wondered what was happening to me as I lifted my head and locked my eyes to hers. I was a happily married woman, a heterosexual woman . . . I wasn’t a lesbian, was I?

  As Tanya opened another bottle of wine, I recalled my school days. I’d had a silly crush on a girl in my class. Holding hands, we’d walked across the common after school one afternoon and stopped behind some bushes. We kissed and fondled and I’d thought that I’d fallen in love. I could think of nothing other than her, the perfume of her hair, the taste of her mouth, the feel of her hand between my thighs. I was a silly teenage girl with a silly crush. What was I now?

  ‘There you are,’ Dianna said as she wandered into the kitchen. ‘Has Tanya told you about her new boyfriend? Has she told you that she’s in love?’

  ‘Mum, do you have to?’ Tanya sighed.

  ‘Sorry, but I’m intrigued.’

  ‘As it happens, I have told Sarah that I’m in love.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Yes, and I told her who I’m in love with.’

  ‘Come on, spill the beans,’ Dianna trilled, turning and facing me.

  ‘I . . . I think I’ll keep out of this,’ I said. ‘It’s a mother-daughter thing.’

  Leaving the kitchen, I went out to the patio and sat with John. Things were getting out of hand, I reflected, as he asked me what the trouble was. I giggled and said that I’d had too much wine, but he frowned at me. He obviously sensed that something was wrong. I then feigned a headache in an attempt to conceal my guilt. But he again asked me whether anything was wrong.

  ‘I’m fine,’ I said. ‘I’ve just had a little too much wine.’

  ‘Dianna was saying that Tanya’s in love.’

  ‘Yes, apparently so,’ I breathed nonchalantly. ‘It’s beginning to get dark. Shall we head back soon?’

  ‘It’s early, Sarah. Surely, you don’t want to go already?’

  ‘No, I suppose not.’

  ‘Are you sure you’re all right? You were fine before you went into the house and now you seem edgy.’

  ‘I’ve told you,’ I returned. ‘I have a headache.’

  It was unlike me to snap at John, and I knew that I had to put a stop to the nonsense with Tanya before he suspected something. Deciding not to go to the quiz the following week, I also thought it best to stay away from Dianna’s house for a while. She could call on me for a chat over coffee, which wouldn’t involve Tanya. Things would be all right once Tanya had got over her silly crush, or so I thought.

  Within minutes of John leaving for work the following morning, the doorbell rang. I’d just had a shower and was still in my dressing gown and wasn’t going to bother to answer the door. But, when the bell rang again, I thought I’d better see who it was. I should have looked out of the lounge window before opening the door, but it was too late.

  ‘Hi,’ Tanya said. ‘I was just passing.’

  ‘Tanya, please . . .’ I began as she walked past me into the hall.

  ‘It’s all right, I got the message last night,’ she sighed. ‘You’re not interested in me. You made that plain enough.’

  ‘It’s not that I’m not interested. I’m a married woman and . . .’

  ‘Yes, so you said last night.’

  ‘Come and sit down for a minute,’ I sighed, leading her into the lounge. ‘I think we need to talk.’

  Making herself comfortable on the sofa, she smiled at me as I sat opposite her in the armchair. Her long blonde hair framing her pretty face, her blue eyes sparkling, she was incredibly attractive. She was wearing her red mini-skirt, and I couldn’t help but cast my eyes over her naked legs. I had to muster up my willpower to resist her. But, why was I having to resist her? There shouldn’t be a battle raging in my mind, I reflected. I had no lesbian desires to quash, did I?

  ‘I know what you’re going through,’ she said. ‘I went through the same dilemma.’

  ‘Dilemma?’ I echoed.

  ‘Male or female, which is your preference? I’ve had several boyfriends, as you know. And I’ve discovered that I prefer my own sex.’

  ‘Tanya, I’m not going through a dilemma,’ I stated firmly. ‘And I certainly don’t have to discover my sexual preference. I’m a happily married woman. A happily married heterosexual woman.’

  ‘I tried to convince myself that I was heterosexual,’ she said, leaving the sofa and kneeling at my feet. ‘I fought it for as long as I could, and finally gave in. Don’t fight it, Sarah.’

  I stared in disbelief as she moved my dressing gown aside, parted my legs and kissed the smooth flesh of my inner thighs. I wasn’t sure whether it was shock or curiosity, but I was unable to stop her as she moved dangerously close to my naked pussy. What the hell did she think she was doing? I wondered. What the hell was I doing? A thousand thoughts careering through the confusion in my mind, I was powerless to halt the imminent act of lesbian sex.

  The feel of her hot breath against my outer lips, her wet tongue running up and down my sex crack, I gripped the arms of the chair and tried to deny the immense pleasure she was bringing me. Again and again, her tongue ran up my valley of desire, waking sleeping nerve endings, sending quivers through my rhythmically contracting womb. In a dreamlike state, I felt as though my mind was blowing away on clouds of lust. Had I found my sexual heaven?

  My sex life with John wasn’t particularly good, the flame of passion having inevitably diminished over the years. Oral sex had become a thing of the past, the days of licking and sucking were over. We made love once a week, usually with John entering me from behind as we lay in bed. He’d come, fill my vagina with sperm, and then we’d fall asleep. Rarely did I enjoy an orgasm, but that was marriage.

  ‘No,’ I breathed as Tanya stretched my sex lips wide apart and encircled the bud of my erect clitoris with the tip of her tongue. She ignored me, licking and sucking fervently on my pleasure bud as I gripped the arms of the chair. I could feel my juices of arousal seeping from the gaping entrance to my vagina as she worked expertly on my ripening clitoris. I couldn’t allow this, I thought, doing my best to fight my inner desires. I had to stop her before I reached my orgasm. I was a married woman, a heterosexual . . . I couldn’t come in a teenage girl’s mouth.

  As if aware of my imminent coming, Tanya moved down my gaping sex valley and licked the pink cone of wet flesh surrounding the entrance to my vagina. My vagina, John’s vagina . . . It should have been my husband’s tongue there, I thought anxiously. It should have been my husband’s penis there, not a young girl’s tongue. What the hell was I doing? Why had I no power to resist? What the hell had happened to me?r />
  Pressing her full red lips hard against the open entrance to my vagina, Tanya pushed her tongue deep into my sex sheath. I shuddered as my clitoris swelled and my nipples became erect and brushed against the material of my dressing gown. Aroused as never before, I was desperate for the relief of orgasm. But this was my best friend’s teenage daughter, I reminded myself. Her long blonde hair tickling my inner thighs, my lower stomach, her nose pressed hard against my solid clitoris, she sucked out my juices of desire. I could hear her swallowing, gulping down my creamy offering. My best friend’s daughter. This was so very wrong, and yet . . .

  ‘Tanya, no,’ I breathed as she moved up and again sucked my clitoris into her hot mouth. No matter how I tried, I couldn’t hold back as she repeatedly swept her tongue over the sensitive tip of my clitoris. I was going to reach my orgasm, I was going to come in another girl’s mouth. Slipping two fingers deep into my contracting vagina and massaging my hot inner flesh, she sucked and mouthed deftly on my clitoris. I arched my back, my knuckles whitening as I gripped the arms of the chair harder and waited for the inevitable explosion of pleasure.

  ‘God,’ I cried as my orgasm erupted within the solid nub of my pulsating clitoris. ‘Tanya, no.’ Again and again, waves of pure sexual bliss crashed through my trembling body. My clitoris pulsating wildly, my orgasmic cream flooding her thrusting fingers, my breathing fast and shallow, I tossed my head from side to side as she sustained my incredible climax. Dripping in confusion, drowning in pleasure, the stark reality of the situation hit me as my orgasm finally began to recede. I’d committed an act of lesbian sex with a teenage girl.

  Shuddering as Tanya slipped her fingers out of my inflamed vagina and lapped up my flowing juices, I tried to blame her for what had happened. She’d seduced me, she’d forced me . . . I only had myself to blame, I reflected, as she sucked out my hot milk. I should have pushed her away. The minute she’d parted my thighs, I should have been strong and pushed her away. Why hadn’t I?

  ‘Was that nice?’ she asked me, her pussy-wet face beaming as she looked up at me. ‘Did you enjoy that?’