by Bowles, Jan
They’d made love twice since coming back to his place. Once on the kitchen table, and once in his bedroom. The second time, he’d tied her hands loosely together with a silk scarf and anchored her wrists to the headboard. As he’d slowly stripped, he’d told her in graphic detail exactly what to expect. His dominant use of language had driven her wild with sexual hunger, and her frustration at not being able to touch him had only added to her arousal. The idea of being ravished and helpless was a fantasy she’d had for years, and to actually act it out made her orgasms all the more powerful. Matthew was a very deep, dark, and sexual man. She knew he had hidden depths. He scared and excited her in equal measure. There was so much she didn’t know about D/s relationships, and so much she didn’t know about him.
She smiled. “So tell me how you come to be living in this beautiful house, Matthew?” Her gaze swept around the room, and settled on the giant bookcase. Reaching high into the double-height ceiling, it resembled a small library. “You have so many books.”
He leaned back in the comfy armchair, and steepled his hands together, appearing deep in thought. After a moment or two of contemplation, he pointed an index finger at her. “I know so little about you, Kelly. Perhaps we can do an exchange. I’ll tell you something about me, but in return, you must tell me a little about yourself. Does that sound fair?”
“Absolutely fair.” Though she felt unsure exactly how much to divulge.
Matthew stood and strode over to the massive bookcase. He scanned the shelves, drifting his fingers over the numerous spines, before finally pulling out a worn and battered book. He handed it to her, and then returned to his seat. “This guy changed my entire life.”
“Oh?” Kelly held the book in her hands. The dust jacket was so old, she feared it would fall apart when she opened it. She raised a brow, surprised that he had an interest in ancient history. “The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin?”
Matthew gestured benignly, spreading his arms wide. “Old Ben was one of the Founding Fathers and the first man to truly live the American Dream. I don’t know if you’re aware, but he actually lived right here in Boston. Ethan and I had a real bad start in life, but I can tell you this, Kelly, without reading his inspirational story, we wouldn’t be the men we are today.”
“It’s a beautiful book, Matthew, but very battered.”
“Yeah, I’ve read it so many times, it’s falling apart. As an-out-of control, smart-ass kid, it was exactly what I needed to straighten me out.” He sighed resignedly. “I’d gotten myself into trouble again, and this time I figured I was going to be expelled from school. However, instead of punishing me, my teacher, Mr. Gregory, gave me this book. He encouraged me to read a chapter every night after lessons had finished. To begin with I thought, why the fuck has this old guy given me such a boring book to read. I was fourteen years old and didn’t give a shit about Benjamin Franklin, or anyone else for that matter. But then I started to read it, and I was shocked with what I found. It was like flicking on a light switch to my imagination. Before then, I’d never thought there was anything out there for me, other than a life of crime or a shitty minimum-wage job. Once I started reading, I found I actually enjoyed it. It made me realize that the American Dream was there for anyone who reached out and grabbed it. I learned that if you work hard and focus, then just about anything is possible. Soon after that, Ethan and I took up sports. You know the sort of thing. Mainly track and field athletics. It gave us a purpose in life, and stopped us getting into serious trouble.”
“Did you get into trouble with the cops?”
Matthew playfully wagged a finger in her direction. “I’ve already said far too much, lady, but let’s put it this way. With my father serving fifteen years in the state penitentiary for armed robbery, Ethan and me were just one step away from following in his footsteps. Mr. Gregory saw I was a bright kid, and feared the worst. The guy was a lifesaver.” A grin spread on his lips, but Kelly could tell his early life was more traumatic than he made out. “So, Kelly, it’s your turn now.”
It had been her intention to keep her real identity private, but that didn’t seem very fair or practical with Matthew insisting that she open up to him. He’d welcomed her to his home. She knew where he lived. They’d made love for Christ’s sake. Surely she owed him something? But a part of her resolutely refused to divulge her true identity. It was imperative she keep some emotional distance between them. She was wise enough to know that she needed to separate fantasy from reality. Being the CEO of the largest oil company on the East Coast meant she had a public position to maintain. With Matthew oblivious to her true identity, she was free to live out her sexual fantasies.
She decided to play down her own importance, and that of McCloud Energy. “My father is a self-made entrepreneur. He built his mapping business entirely from scratch. Now he’s become unwell, the reins have been handed to me.”
“Mapping you say?”
“Yes.” She shrugged. “That’s all really.” Mapping was just one facet of McCloud Energy. She wasn’t exactly lying, just being economical with the truth.
A grin slowly spread across his face. “Kelly, I sense that you’re not quite giving me the full picture of your life, but”—he spread his palms wide in acceptance—“what can I do? At Club Submission we understand the meaning of privacy. So if you don’t want to say anymore, that’s just fine by me. All I ask is you don’t lie to me.”
Kelly felt guilt chase through her body. His tone of voice, so low and controlled, emphasized how important trust and truthfulness were to him. She wanted to shout at the top of her voice, “Hey, Matthew, you know those gas stations you fill your car up at. The ones called Energize. Well McCloud Energy owns them all, along with three hundred oil wells in Texas, two hundred in Kuwait, and ten in Kazakhstan,” but instead, she said, “I haven’t lied to you, Matthew, I just don’t feel the time is right to tell you everything about myself.”
As the fire crackled in the grate, he contemplated her for a moment. He drummed his fingers on the arms of the leather chair. “Are you married?”
Kelly held his gaze. She guessed he wanted to assess her reasons for coming to the club. “No, there’s no one.”
“If I were to ask you for a phone number, would you give it to me?”
“Yes, I’d give you my cell phone number.” He deserved that. She was sitting in his beautiful home, enjoying his company immensely. This man deserved respect.
It seemed to please him because he visibly relaxed. “Sorry for the third degree, Kelly, but I need to know where I fit in with your plans.”
“If you’ve got a pad, I’ll jot my number down for you.”
He smiled. “I’d like to see you again, Kelly. I don’t want us to end, here and now.”
His tone was soft and seductive, and his eyes sparkled mischievously as he spoke. A quiver ran down her spine and throbbed in her clit. Just the way he acted made her drag her teeth over her lower lip as she tried to quell the raging sexual need in the pit of her stomach. This beautiful, powerful man was turning her life upside down, and for the better, too. He made her feel alive. He made her feel like the woman that she’d always wanted to be.
Savoring the seductive atmosphere, she couldn’t stop her voice dropping a note or two. “I want what you’re offering, Matthew.” I want it so badly, I can taste it.
He handed her a pen and notepad. “Next time, I’ll introduce you to more play techniques. Now we understand each other, it’s time to raise the stakes.”
Chapter Nine
The next day
With her heart in her mouth, Kelly’s car screeched to a halt in the hospital parking lot. How many times had she made this journey in the last few days? Five? Every time the call came through, she’d rush straight over. Somehow, her father had always managed to rally, but this time she feared the worst. Not bothering to secure her car, she rushed headlong for the main building.
As she strode down the corridor, her mind overflowed with intrusive what-if t
houghts. What if…what if…what if…
Outside her father’s private room she took a deep breath, composed herself, and then pushed open the door. In the subdued lighting he looked small and wizened. His once-powerful body seemed to dissolve into the bedding. She had to hold back her tears as the monitor sounded out the fast but irregular rhythm of his heart.
A nurse sat beside him whom she recognized. She forced an unconvincing smile when she saw Kelly. “We’re making him as comfortable as possible, Ms. McCloud.” She watched her pull the oxygen mask from his face before gently wetting his lips with a sponge. His tongue snaked out and swiped away the moisture. “He’s still responding a little. He’s a strong man.”
Kelly’s voice croaked with emotion. “Yes, he is.” Her father had always been a larger-than-life character and to see him like this broke her heart. His maverick personality had suited the industry he’d dominated for the last forty years. Jed McCloud had become a legend in his own lifetime.
The nurse patted her hand as she walked past. “I’ll leave you alone with your father, Ms. McCloud. If you need anything, I’ll be right outside.”
“Thank you so much. I appreciate your concern.” She sat down in the chair next to the bed, and squeezed his hand. “Hi, Dad. It’s Kelly. I’m here.” She knew her voice was shaky, but she didn’t care. She wondered if he even knew she was there, perhaps he didn’t—whatever, at this stage of his life, she just wanted to be with him.
With the exception of herself, her father had insisted on no visitors. He was a proud man, and would hate anyone seeing him in such a weakened, debilitated state. Here lay a man who’d sunk oil wells with his bare hands. A man who’d found oil where nobody else thought it existed.
“You proved them all wrong, didn’t you, Dad.”
Kelly tenderly smoothed her fingers through his thinning silver hair. No man could match her father. “You outwitted them all, and made a fortune in the process.” But at what cost? Did it make you happy?
She wanted to shout out, because I’m not, but didn’t. Instead she pulled her chair closer to the side of the bed, and gently stroked the back of his hand. “They broke the mold when they made you, Dad.” All her adult life, she’d been looking for a man as powerful as her father—an inspirational risk taker, with a gung ho attitude to life. Did that man even exist?
Her thoughts drifted to Matthew Strong. He was the only man who fit her demanding criteria. But she was a realist, and knew full well that Club Submission was selling a fantasy, nothing more than that.
Jed McCloud’s fingers suddenly flexed around hers.
“Dad, you’re awake.”
“They can’t keep…this old dog…down.” His voice was frail, and faltered with each breath he took.
“Shhh, rest now, I need you. You’re my rock.”
“You’ll be…fine…Kelly… Just fine… You don’t need me…anymore. I’m sorry if I…”
“Don’t speak, Dad. Rest.”
“There’s plenty of…rest where…I’m going.”
With tear-filled eyes she smoothed her hand over his, then squeezed it tightly. “I need you to stay here with me.”
He sighed, and she thought he’d fallen back to sleep. Then he wearily said, “You remind…me so much…of your mother…Kelly.” Her father rarely spoke of her. The memories had always been too painful for him.
“Don’t talk, Dad, save your energy.”
“Kelly…there’s not much time…I need to say these things. It broke my heart when…Mary died. Every night I would go to sleep empty…but when I woke…and I saw you…my heart would fill again. You kept me going…Kelly. I see you sitting there…and it’s like she’s here with me now.”
Kelly held a hand to her chest, her lower lip trembling as she tried to rein in her emotions. “She is, Dad. She’s watching over us both.”
He nodded, his silver gaze moist with unshed tears. “I didn’t…mean to take…your childhood away… I was so focused on the business…I couldn’t see what was right before…my eyes. You, my beautiful daughter.”
“Shhh, Dad, I wouldn’t change a single thing. I had a wonderful childhood, because I got to spend it with you.”
“I know you’ll…make a good job of…McCloud Energy.”
“I’ll never fill your shoes though, Dad. No one could.”
“Kelly.” His voice was barely audible, and she leaned in closer. “You’ll do just great…You already…have the board eating out of…your hand…I know you have plans.” He gently touched her arm. “Follow your gut…instinct. It’s what we McClouds do best.”
When he coughed up a little blood, and his eyes crinkled shut she knew the end was close. She wiped away the blood with a handkerchief.
“Dad, I’ll call the doctor.” Tears welled in her eyes. She was finding it hard to control her emotions.
He shook his head. “No…no need for doctors. Just wet my lips…sweet pea… They’re so damned dry.”
Kelly squeezed the damp sponge to his lips and watched him suck a little moisture for relief.
He coughed up some more blood, and shifted uneasily in the bed. A deep mournful sigh left his lips. “Kelly…don’t ever have regrets…they eat away at you.”
She patted the blood from his lips with her handkerchief. “Rest, Dad, rest.” She smoothed her hand over his furrowed brow, letting him know she was there, always.
“I had a second chance at love…but I was too wrapped up in…McCloud Energy. If only I’d made the time… Don’t make the same mistake as…your old man.”
“Shhh, I won’t. I promise.”
She looked at her lovely father lying small and wizened in the hospital bed. He’d given everything to McCloud Energy. He’d given his life. She wouldn’t make the same mistake. Her thoughts drifted to Matthew. She’d be damned if she’d let him slip through her fingers.
Kelly squeezed her father’s hand. “I love you, Dad.”
He squeezed her hand back. “I love you…too…sweet pea.” At that precise moment she felt at one with her father, and knew she would miss him immensely. She dragged her teeth over her quivering lower lip, trying to quell the emotions bubbling just beneath the surface.
When he drifted into a deep rasping sleep, Kelly laid her head next to his, listening to his breathing, knowing full well that he was close to the end. Each breath was slower and shallower than the last as his lungs struggled to fill with air.
The nurse returned to check on her father. She studied his vital signs on the monitor, shook her head and then patted her shoulder.
“Do you think he can still hear me?” Kelly asked.
“I’m sure he can. The hearing is the last sense to go. I’ll leave you to share what little time is left with your father.” With those final words the nurse walked from the room.
“Dad,” she whispered. “You were the best father a girl could ever wish for.” Kelly smoothed her hand over his brow as her father’s breathing faltered. After what seemed an eternity, he took another ragged breath, unwilling to quit life just yet. Suddenly, a sharp exhale left his lips, and his eyes flew wide open. His beautiful silver-gray eyes stared directly at her, then he spoke, his once powerful voice a mere whisper. “Mary…baby…you…came…I knew…you…would.”
The most wonderful human sigh flowed from his semi-parted lips, and then he was still. His soul and indomitable spirit had finally left this world. All that remained was his weakened body, and the flatline sounding out on the monitor.
Kelly unashamedly let her tears flow. She leaned over him and kissed his forehead. “Goodbye, my love.” With a serene smile on his lips, he looked like he’d just fallen asleep. Huge teardrops poured from her eyes and dripped onto his cheek. “You’re with Mom now.” He’d loved her mother deeply. “I’m so gonna miss you.” She caressed his face, and with a quavering voice, said, “Goodbye Jed McCloud. Until we meet again, sleep well, and God Bless.”
Chapter Ten
Six days later
Matthew glanced at his
watch as he circled the club for the final time that night. Although he was tired, he still had those damned accounts to see to. As joint owner of Club Submission, it was his job to make sure its members were happy with the service provided. The personal touch was essential to the smooth running of the club. He would make a point of calling all members by their names, regardless of whether they were real or fictional. He believed the individual touch paid dividends, and kept their members coming back, time after time. Good manners cost nothing, and he only had to look at his bank statements to know he was doing something right.
As he wearily pushed open the door marked “Private,” to gain access to the office, Ethan came running up behind him, and slapped him on the back. If he weren’t so tired, he’d have quenched his kid brother’s enthusiasm with a playful punch to the ribs. “Hey, Matt, you’ll never guess what I found out today, while I was waiting for the dentist to see me.”
“No, but I figure you’re about to tell me, whether I want to hear it or not.”
“I know who the Raven really is.” The way Ethan emphasized the word “really,” intrigued him.
“You mean, Kelly?”
“You bet.” Ethan slapped a rolled up copy of The Oilman magazine into his hand as they entered the office. “It’s all in here, big bro.”
Curious now, Matthew leaned back in his executive chair and placed his booted feet on the desk. He studied the front cover of the glossy magazine. “So what the fuck am I looking for, Ethan? It’s late, and I’m tired.” Apart from it being three months old, there seemed nothing unusual about the publication. He opened it up, and idly flicked through the pages. Still nothing of any real interest. There was an article on a recent oil disaster in Venezuela, and talk about the price of gas going up at the pumps.
