River of Lies

by Sammy King

  “I might go have a lie down I think” she said sleepily, as she climbed out of the car as if in slow motion. Dylan held her arm, and led her to the bedroom where she flopped on to the bed. I took her shoes off, while Dylan put her legs under the blanket, and shut the curtains. In the dark, I could make out the condom wrappers on the bed side table. My heart sunk, there were more than three, and the jealousy began to rise. Dylan looked to where I stared, and quickly came over to me, as he led me out the door.

  “Come on, we will let her sleep it off” he said as he guided me from the bedroom.

  While we prepared dinner, dad came in through the front door. I could see Michael’s car drive off up the road, my dad smiled at me as he came through the lounge room and into the kitchen.

  “Something smells good” he said.

  “Roast beef tonight” Dylan said.

  Dad eyed me carefully, as if trying to read my thoughts and emotions. I nodded my head at him, to let him know that I had called it quits, and he smiled at me. Dad moved over the counter, to where I stood and put his arm around my shoulders, as he kissed the top of my head and played with the loose strands of my hair that had fallen out of my knot.

  “What have you two been up to?” Dad asked.

  “Tilly, Dylan and I went up the mountain; Tilly got stoned, and is in bed now”

  Dad, sighed, and dropped his arms off my shoulders, he looked down at the aging vinyl floor; he shook his head, and shuffled off into the lounge room. I looked over at Dylan, who gave me a wink. I knew that dad didn’t like us doing the drugs, and I knew that Tilly was trying to hide it from him somewhat, unsuccessfully, but trying to hide it all the same. But it felt good to get some revenge on her.

  Tilly finally emerged from the bedroom, just as dinner was about to be served. Her eyes were no longer blood shot, and she was walking more steadily. I was helping Dylan in the kitchen to serve up the meat and vegetables; Dad was already sitting at the table, when she appeared in the doorway. Dad stared at the table top, and fiddled with the salt shaker. Tilly looked at Dylan and I, then back to Dad, I could read the nervousness on her face. When Dad did look up she smiled at him soberly. I saw the frown of disappointment on his face and had to hide my smile.

  We all ate dinner in silence, the only sound was the clanking of the knives and forks on the plate. I didn’t have anything to say, and Tilly looked too afraid to say anything, when I looked at Dad’s face, I could see his anger seemed to be boiling just under the surface, when we were kids we had learnt not to tip that anger over. So it was better for us to remain silent. After dinner, Dad, went into the lounge room, I heard the clicks of the sixty minutes on the television. Tilly left the kitchen and I heard her bedroom door slam, which left Dylan and I in the kitchen. We sat at the table, still staring down at our empty plates, when I felt his hand creeping its way seductively up my thigh; I looked up feeling a sense of lust and shock.

  “Come on you, let’s get these dishes done” he said as he gathered up the plates, and put the scrapes into the bin.

  I walked over to the sink, and began to fill it with hot water and detergent, watching the bubbles froth up. Dylan and I laughed and chatted while we washed the dishes, and for that short time it felt like the past, before everything got complicated, before Tilly went away on her week holiday.

  That night I fell asleep easily, but woke as I heard the click of my door. I sat up with a start, and saw Dylan coming into my room; he held his finger up to his lips, as he closed the door quietly behind him. I lifted the edge of my blanket, for him to climb under, without even thinking, it had become habit for him to come into my room after dark for love. Suddenly I realised what I was doing, and sat up, my hand on his chest.

  “Dylan, we can’t” I said, as I tried to push him from my bed. I could just make out his smile in the dark, as he entwined his fingers with mine and circled my palm with his thumb.

  “Tilly is stoned again, so sound asleep and your dad is at Michael and Shelly’s” he said as he pulled me down onto his chest, my heart began to race, my head started to spin and that tug between my legs longed for his touch.

  I was confused, I had resolved so strongly that I wasn’t going to be with Dylan in this way anymore, but yet my body so desperately wanted his touch. I wanted to feel him inside me and all over me. I couldn’t hold back anymore, I needed him. I grasped his hand tighter, and heard him groan as he felt me give up the fight.

  He ran his hands up and down my body, kissing me gently but firmly. Everywhere he touched sent waves of electricity I felt every nerve ending come alive. He rolled me onto my back, pushing my tank top up, to expose my breasts, with a growl he leaned forward and took my nipple into his mouth. I closed my eyes and groaned as I let the waves of passion completely envelope me. Slowly he began to work his lips down my body, and he pulled my knickers down over my hips to my knees. He rolled slightly so I could lift my legs and kick them to the floor. Dylan continued his kissing exploration of my belly, coming to the top of the mound of fluff between my legs. I sat up in shock, he had never kissed there before, and I was unsure. With a sturdy hand he pushed me back down onto my bed, and continued his onslaught of delicious kisses, all over my thighs as he ran his fingers through my pubic hair.

  Without notice, suddenly I felt his mouth cover my pussy and his tongue push deep inside. I let out a moan I had never felt like this before. I hadn’t had an orgasm, I had secretly read about them, when I went to the library and borrowed the romance books. But I didn’t know what to expect, I knew I wanted one. And with every lick Dylan made, with every suck and nip, I soon felt an ache deep inside. My eyes became blurry and instinctively I reached for his hair, as I pulled it lightly. I heard him groan, and the vibration on my pussy, sent that ache into a tingle. I moaned loud, I couldn’t hold it back, my hips rocked back and forth. Dylan’s licks became more fevered, as he held on tight to my hips and I bucked underneath his mouth. I lay there trying to catch my breath, my eyes were still blurred, and every part of me felt like it was on fire, that the lightest touch would be painful. I looked down at Dylan, who looked up at me, the smile on his face wide, excitement danced in his eyes. He swiftly moved up my body and I bit into his shoulder as he moved deep inside of me.

  We made love several times that night, enjoying each other’s body and the feeling of being so close. We could see the light start to poke its head through my blinds, as we lay there, entwined in each other’s arms. My period still hadn’t come and I knew that I couldn’t keep it in any longer.

  “Dylan, I think I’m pregnant”

  He didn’t say anything, he just continued to smooth my hair and hold me tight against him.

  “We will work it out” he finally said, as he swung his legs out of bed, and put on his underwear.

  He didn’t say anything as he left my room. I lay in my bed, with stickiness between my legs and an ache in my stomach caused by fear and stress, I flung myself out of bed, I had only enough time to throw my pyjama top on, before I ran for the toilet, and threw up violently and repetitively until it was nothing more than gagging.

  Chapter Nine.

  As I washed my face and looked at myself in the mirror, I heard a car pull into the driveway. I made a quick dash into my room, and threw my shorts on that had been discarded in passion the night before. I heard the front door fling open, and when I poked my head out of the door, I could see Michael and Shelly coming into the hallway. Shelly gave me a wave as she went into the lounge room. I went down to the lounge room and stood in the doorway. Shelly was showing her new shoes off to Tilly.

  “Where’s dad?”

  Tilly looked up at me irritated, and shrugged her shoulders. I quickly worked out that he wasn’t home and that is why Michael and Shelly were here, as the bong got pulled out and stocked with dope. The smell made me feel sick to my stomach and I could feel the colour start to drain from my face, as my knees began to wobble. Just as I was about to collapse, Michael, who had been standing next to me, was able
to catch my arm. He propped me up with a firm arm around my waist, and guided me towards the hallway, while Shelly and Tilly seemed oblivious to what was happening, as we got to my bedroom door, I heard the back door open and my dad came through. His face dropped when he saw me, I collapsed into his arms, as he ran towards me. Between him and Michael they got me into my bed, sweat had formed on my forehead, and the nausea came in waves. I could hear my dad yelling and swearing in the lounge room, but I couldn’t understand what he was saying. My ears were ringing loudly and my head spun. I felt my dad come in periodically checking me with a touch to my face. Occasionally I opened my eyes, to see him looking down at me with a smile.

  The next morning the fever had finally broken, I sat up in bed, my head still spun with dizziness, and I saw Dylan sitting in the chair next to my bed. He woke as my bed creaked under my movement.

  “Well hi there, are you ok?” he asked and reached out for my hand.

  I smiled at him, and squeezed his hand lightly; he clasped both his hands around mine. He opened the drawer next to my head and pointed to the paper bag.

  “I bought a pregnancy test, don’t do it now, later when you’re feeling better”

  I tried to give him a smile, but it hurt me too much. I closed my eyes, and drifted back into sleep. When I finally woke again my room was dark, Dylan had been replaced by my dad, who snored lightly in the chair. I still was light headed and my stomach churned, but my bladder spoke the loudest. I quietly pushed the blankets off my legs, and sat up slowly on the edge of the bed. Dad stirred slightly, and I paused so as not to wake him. As I was about to stand I remembered the pregnancy test. I quietly slipped the drawer open, pausing as it stuck, and creaked. I watched my dad to see if he would wake, when he didn’t stir, I slowly took the bag out of the draw, and went to the toilet. As I sat on the toilet, I held my bladder and took the pregnancy test out of its wrapper and read the instructions.

  As I heard the first trickles of urine hit the water below me, I put the small white stick between my legs and let the rest flow over. When I finished, I pulled the stick out and sat on the toilet while I watched as the urine moved along the test, and across the little screen that would tell me whether I was pregnant. The first blue line appeared clearly, I picked up the instructions and read, that I needed two lines if I was pregnant. I stared at the window intently, for what seemed like forever. Ever so faintly the second blue line started to form, within seconds it became a dark blue line.

  I realised that I had been holding my breath, as I let out a loud groan. Tears flowed down my cheeks, and hit my bare knees. I didn’t trust myself to be able to stand as my hands started to shake and my head began to spin. As the tears dried, I was able to build up the strength, to gather everything. I put the test inside the box, and put it all in the paper bag it had come in. I sneaked quietly through the house and went outside and stuffed the package down deep into the bin. As I turned to go back inside, I saw my dad coming out into the hallway. He looked up and squinted through the back door.

  “What are you doing out here?” he asked.

  “I just needed some fresh air” I said, as I opened the back door.

  He nodded and took my arm; I had started to shake again. He eyed me suspiciously. He led me back to my bed, and tucked the blankets over me again. He touched my hair before he left and let his fingers linger on my head, while he stared down at me. He quietly left the room and I could hear him talking to Dylan just outside my door, but my ears had started ringing again and I couldn’t understand what they were saying.

  The next few days went by in a blur, between sleep and fits of wakefulness. Every time I woke up, there was someone different sitting by my bed, at one point even Shelly and Michael were there, but never Tilly, I never saw her once. When I finally woke up properly, I had no idea what day it was, what time it was or even what month it was. I touched my stomach, as I remembered the pregnancy test. I sat up in bed, the dizziness had gone, and the nausea had left.

  I tossed off my blanket and swung my legs out of bed, and felt the blood rush to my feet as they hit the warm carpet. I stretched my back and heard it clunk as it got used to sitting again. I shuffled my way to the door, my knees and ankles clicked and crunched with every step. When I opened the door, I couldn’t hear any sound. In the bathroom, I took off my pyjama top, and sniffed my pits as I lifted my arms, it wasn’t a pleasant smell. When the water was warmed up in the shower, I stood there and just let it run down over my head and face I quickly started to feel more refreshed with every minute. The knock on the bathroom door startled me.

  “Yeah” I called out. The door clicked open and I saw Dylan’s face peer in through the crack.

  “Hey beautiful, you look better” he smiled.

  I smiled back at him.

  “I feel so much better” I said, and grabbed the soap lathering it up all over my body.

  He stared at me while I washed myself for a little longer, before he shut the door. I couldn’t help but smile. But I couldn’t shake the knowledge that I had to confront the fact that I was now pregnant and I had to somehow tell Tilly that her boyfriend was the father.

  When I came out of the bathroom, Dylan was on the couch, with his feet up on the coffee table; the television played a midday movie quietly. I sat down next to him, and put my feet up on the coffee table next to his. He gave me a sly look, with a small smile.

  “Where is everyone? And what day is it?” I asked.

  “It’s Friday, Tilly has gone away for the weekend with Chantelle, and your dad has gone out for a bit, he said he would be back later tonight”

  “So we are alone then” I grinned, as I watched his eyes light up and begin to dance.

  “That we are” he laughed, as he took my hand in his. I stood up, and lead him to my bedroom.

  In the shower I had decided that seeing as I was pregnant I wasn’t going to stop having sex with Dylan, it was too late anyway. Our sex was fast, furious and loud. We laid there in each other’s arms.

  “Wow” he said with a giggle “where did that come from?’

  I smiled, and put his hand on my stomach. When he looked at me he frowned, before his face softened, and he rubbed my belly.

  “You took the test?”

  “When I got sick, I threw it out in the outside bin, but it was positive”

  He continued to rub my belly; he leaned down and kissed just above my belly button.

  “What do you want to do?” he asked.

  I shrugged, I hadn’t given it any thought, I didn’t know how I could keep a baby, I had no money, no way of raising it, Dylan didn’t have a job, and he was my sister’s boyfriend.

  “I don’t know I don’t know how we could do this” I said.

  “I could get a job, we could get a house together, get married”

  I took his hand in mine; I knew that it wouldn’t work. I shook my head, and squeezed his hand.

  “I don’t think that will work. I think I will tell Tilly and dad that it was a boy from school, that way we don’t have to let Tilly know what’s been going on”

  Dylan looked hurt, but I knew he understood. He let go of my hand, and got out of bed. As he got dressed, I saw a tear run down his face. It broke my heart to hurt him, but I just didn’t know any other way.

  “Do you believe that I love you Mon?”

  I stood up and wrapped my arms around his waist, he buried his face into my neck and I could feel his tears wet my neck. I held him as tight as I could.

  “We will work it out, I’ll tell Tilly, just give me a few days” I murmured into his chest. Dylan pulled me in tighter.

  When Dad got home that night, he seemed almost excited to see me up and about; he hugged me every time he walked past me, and would pat my hair. That night we sat on the couch and watched a movie that Dad had picked up from the video shop. But my mind kept going over the right words to tell Tilly, how to say that I was pregnant with her boyfriend’s baby.

  Chapter Ten.

  When Ti
lly came home, she barely acknowledged my existence, she was too busy talking about her weekend away and how some guy grinded up against her in the club and that she had tried this new drug called ecstasy. She told me how it made her dance all night.

  “Mon can you keep a secret?” she asked.

  I nodded, as she leaned in close to me. We were sitting out on the back lawn; Dad and Dylan were inside watching the football.

  “I had sex with another guy and his girlfriend. On the ecstasy it was amazing. We were completely inhibited; it was just bodies on top of bodies”

  My mouth dropped open, as fury built up in my mind.

  “Tilly how could you do that? How could you treat Dylan like that? After you fought to get him back” I spat at her.

  She dismissed me with a wave of her hand.

  “I think he’s been fucking Shelly anyway” she said.

  I frowned at her and shook my head.

  “I don’t think he has been Tilly, he has hardly seen Shelly, and besides, Shelly is never away from Michael” I said.

  She just shrugged, and when she stood, she reached out her hand to help me up.

  “God girl you hardly eat, but you’re getting podgy, how’s that possible? So are you going to keep my secret or what?” she said, as she dusted off the legs of her pants.

  “Yes I’ll keep your secret” I said.

  That night I watched as Tilly cooed all over Dylan, as if nothing had even happened.

  “Did you ask your sister if she is feeling better?” Dad asked Tilly.

  Tilly lifted her head off Dylan’s shoulder to give me a sarcastic irritated smile.

  “How are you feeling, precious sister?” she asked pedantically.

  “Fine” I answered bluntly.

  That night I lay in bed, and rubbed my belly, imagining what our baby would look like. I hoped it was a boy, I hoped he had Dylan’s dark hair and dark eyes with my nose. I tried to think of names that I liked. My thoughts slipped to Tilly’s affair. I didn’t know whether it would hurt Dylan to know that Tilly had been unfaithful, I didn’t know whether I should just tell him, and let him have a reason to break up with her. I must have drifted off, because the next thing I remember, my alarm was going off to get ready for school. It was the last week before the Easter holidays started.