The Replacement Crush

by Lisa Brown Roberts

Right. As if.

  We made our way through the crowded lobby. I spotted Henry standing by himself, frowning up at a framed poster of Gone with the Wind.

  “Give me a minute,” I said to Jaz and Amy. They followed my gaze to Henry, then shot me matching frowns as Toff and his friends headed through the doors. “Go on. I’ll find you guys.”

  Henry kept his eyes on the poster even when I stood right next to him.

  “According to my mother, this is one of the bestselling books of all time,” he said.

  “I’m not sure about that, but I know it was a big deal.”

  “Does your mom sell millions of books?” He finally turned toward me, his face pinched and anxious. Was that because of me? Ugh.

  “No.” I shrugged. “But she does okay.” I took a breath. “Listen, Henry, I owe you an apology. It’s way overdue. I’m so sorry. For…you know…leading you on.”

  He touched the sides of his glasses, readjusting them over his ears.

  “You’re a nice guy,” I said, meaning every word. “You deserve someone who appreciates that. Not just…someone being stupid. Like me.”

  He nodded, his lips drawn thin and tight. “Correct. But I did learn something from the experience.”

  “Oh? What’s that?” The house lights flashed and my phone vibrated in my coat pocket.

  “Don’t trust smart girls who ask for homework help.”

  My stomach clenched. “I’m so sorry, Henry. I never meant to—”

  “I know.” He shrugged and his ears turned red. “Anyway…you um, might want to work on your…dating strategy in the future.”

  I bit back a smile. “Room for improvement?”

  He nodded. “Definitely.”

  The theater lights flashed again. “I agree. Look, we should go.” I hesitated. “There might be room in our row, if you need a seat.”

  His face finally bloomed into a full smile. “No need. I’m meeting someone and she’s saving me a seat.”

  “Yeah? That’s great.”

  We walked into the theater together and Jaz waved wildly from the front row.

  “Have a great night, Henry.”

  “You, too. And don’t give up, Vivian. Statistically, you’re bound to find a good match.”

  I laughed as I ran down the aisle. Let’s hope so, Henry.

  Toff pointed to a seat next to him. “Rock star seating.” A velvet rope reserved our entire row, which was full of surfers and my friends. Nathan and Iggy sat next to each other, heads close together and laughing. Iggy glanced at me and winked. Claire waved from where she sat with some of her surfer friends.

  “How’d you manage this?” I asked Toff.

  “Not everyone is immune to my charms. Just you.”

  I laughed, and he reached out to tug my hair. “Just kick back and enjoy the show, Viv.”

  Impossible, but at least I could try, until I had to sneak backstage and seal my doom.

  Or my redemption. It could go either way.

  The lights flicked on and off one last time and everyone cheered, then settled down. The first act was a group of tiny ballerinas, including Dallas’s little sister, Becca. They were adorable, especially when they spun the wrong way and crashed into each other, giggling. The audience cheered loudly. That was part of the deal: lots of cheering no matter how bad the act was. It was part of our town’s happy hippie ethic.

  Each act was a little better than the previous one. I had to admit Drew did a decent job of upping the expectations with each performance. By the time we got to the grand finale, everyone was buzzing with anticipation.

  This was it. I stood up, my legs shaking. “I’ve got to go,” I whispered, squeezing past Jaz and Amy.

  “What?” Jaz didn’t bother to whisper. “You can’t go now! It’s the grand finale.”

  I pinned her with my fiercest glare. “I know. And you’d better cheer for me. Really loud.”

  Her eyes widened as she gaped at me. “Viv? What are you doing?”

  I ran down the aisle, unbuttoning my coat as I rushed back stage, digging into my pocket for the props.

  Drew grabbed me as soon as he saw me.

  “You’re late,” he hissed.

  “I’m s-sorry.” I dropped my coat on the floor and he stared at me, eyes wide.

  “Wow,” he said. “Unexpected. But, uh, wow.”

  Fisk appeared next to me. “You’re a knock-out, Viv.” He glanced at my face and grinned. “In a freaky way. Are you ready?”

  I looked out to the darkened stage. The school band had set up their instruments and the choir members climbed onto the stacked risers, jostling each other and giggling. It was hard to make out faces in the dark.

  “No,” I said, “but I’m going to do it anyway.”

  Fisk fist-bumped me. “Excellent.”

  I finally focused on him, taking in his tight white pants and yellow military jacket covered in brass buttons. “You do look like Freddie Mercury. From the Wembley Stadium concert videos.”

  He grinned. “Only hotter. With better teeth.”

  “Places everyone!” Drew hissed loudly, and suddenly all was quiet. He turned toward me. “You’re on, Vivian.”

  Fisk squeezed my shoulder. “You’ve got this.”

  Giving him a grateful smile, I walked onto the stage.

  I faced the packed auditorium. I heard quiet rustling behind the closed velvet curtains and Drew hissing at everyone to be quiet. I clutched the cordless mic he’d given me.

  Everyone stared at me expectantly. I heard tittering laughter and saw a few people pointing at my outfit.

  That’s what happens when you wear a red Star Trek mini-dress uniform, black tights, and shiny leather boots. And Vulcan pointy ears.

  “Hi,” I said, my voice shaking. “I’m Vivian Galdi. I’m glad you all came to the annual talent show.” I took a deep breath, searching the crowd for my friends, grateful they were in the front row. Toff grinned up at me, waving his hand in a shaka brah surfer gesture.

  Jaz looked as if she wanted to kill me and hug me at the same time. I knew my mom and Paul were out there somewhere, and that Mrs. Sloane was cheering me on with her friends from the senior center, ensconced in the handicapped row in their wheelchairs. And Dallas, sitting with his parents, was probably wondering what the heck I was doing. I couldn’t see him, but I knew he was there.

  “The grand finale is going to blow your mind. I can say that because I picked the song.” I took a deep breath again. Pretend you’re on a movie set. The crowd started murmuring, so I spoke louder, right into the mic. “You might be wondering why I’m dressed like this.” A few hoots and catcalls made me smile. “It’s because I’m trying to apologize to someone. For being a stupid Vulcan, when I’m really just a human.”

  “Go humans!” Toff yelled. I saw Jaz reach out and smack him on the chest.

  Over the audience’s laughter, I heard a clatter from behind the curtains as if someone had dropped something. “So.” I took another breath and read from the note card in my shaking hand. “The song you’re about to hear is a classic, beloved by those who heard it originally in the seventies. If you haven’t heard it before, I know it will become one of your favorites.”

  I paused and looked out at the crowd, desperately scanning for Dallas. “Freddie Mercury was a genius, and Queen was arguably one of the greatest rock bands of all time.” Hoots and cheers came from all corners of the theater. Goose bumps rose along my arms. This was happening. Really happening.

  “This song is dedicated to everyone who’s made mistakes, especially about love. In particular, it’s dedicated to someone who I’ve spent the past couple of months making a lot of mistakes with.” My voice was quivering, but I had to push through. “I was on a mission, kind of like Star Trek.” I gestured to my outfit, unable to focus on anyone now.

  I hoped to God Dallas wasn’t in the bathroom or in the lobby loading up on popcorn. That’d be just my luck. I took one more breath and pushed on. “But my mission was a fail. An epic one.
Because I picked the wrong target. More than once. So this song is for him, and for everyone who’s looking for…Somebody to Love.”

  As soon as I said the song title, the audience erupted into cheers. I felt the curtains whoosh open behind me and I stepped back. Drew appeared at my side, taking the mic from me and steering me off stage so I could watch from the side. Beads of sweat dripped into my eyes. I took shaky breaths. I’d done it. I focused on the stage, at the band members and the choir.

  And at the lone folding chair in the middle of the stage, lit by a spotlight, where Dallas sat dressed in black jeans and a tight black T-shirt, cello propped between his legs, staring at me as if I was an alien.

  Which, technically I sort of was, with the pointy ears and all.

  Oh my God. What was he doing on stage? How? Why? I searched frantically for Drew, but he was gone.

  We stared at each other, unmoving. I noticed he wasn’t wearing his glasses, as his gaze took me in from head to toe. His eyes widened but that was as much as I could tell from where I stood.

  “Go, Vulcans!” Toff yelled, making everyone laugh. Dallas’s lips quirked up as he stared at me, but before I could return his smile, the choir’s perfect a capella harmony rang out, singing the first line of the song, and the music jolted Dallas into action. He bent over his cello, the soaring music he made taking my breath away.

  As the band performed along with the choir, I stood transfixed, watching Dallas’s fingers fly over the frets, and the bow dance across the strings. He was every bit as mesmerizing as the Croatian guys.

  Then a familiar, powerful voice rang out, taking over the solo while the choir continued singing the chorus. The entire audience gasped, then erupted in screams as Fisk Vilhem pranced out from stage left, microphone in hand, his soaring voice channeling all the passion and emotion of Freddie Mercury.

  The audience jumped to their feet, screaming and cheering. Fisk owned the stage, pounding out the vocals like the rock star he was. My eyes darted back and forth between him and Dallas, bent over his cello. They played off each other, grinning and gesturing, whipping the crowd into a frenzy.

  Fisk hollered at the crowd, “Everybody!” He held the mic out and everyone chanted along with him. “Find me somebody to love!” Before I realized what had happened, he’d crossed the stage and dragged me out of the wings, steering me to center stage, right next to Dallas, pointing to us as he sang.

  I stood there like an idiot in my Star Trek uniform, laughing nervously in front of the cheering crowd while Fisk sang like a wicked angel. I glanced at Dallas, whose head was bent over his instrument as his arms moved and his muscles flexed, willing him to at least look at me. As if he read my mind, he raised his head and winked. At least, that’s what the hormones saw, but they were whipped into a frenzy. They might be hallucinating.

  Fisk extended his arms toward Dallas, encouraging more raucous cheering and applause, and everyone cheered as his cello solo soared high into the rafters. I remembered Drew asking, “Is he any good?”

  Yeah. Really frakking good.

  Everyone stayed on their feet, swaying and clapping along to the final chorus, and I found myself singing along, not caring whether or not I could keep a tune. The music pounded through me, erasing some of my anxiety. No matter how Dallas reacted, I’d just done something brave, and honest, and it felt amazing.

  The last line of the song soared out of Fisk’s mouth, his voice making every hair on my body stand up: “Can anybody find me…somebody to love?”

  The choir took over, echoing the words in a rhythmic chant. Fisk leaned over Dallas, grinning as Dallas worked the cello like a master. Dallas glanced up and returned his grin, and in that moment I realized that they knew each other. Like, really knew each other.

  What the heck?

  As the song ended, the theater erupted into chaos. The curtains closed and pandemonium broke out onstage, too, as the band members and choir rushed to surround Fisk, begging for autographs and bubbling with hysteria since they’d just performed with a real rock star.

  Several security guards appeared from nowhere to surround Fisk and to pull him offstage. He blew me a kiss as he hustled by. “Good luck, Viv.” He shot Dallas a cryptic glance over his shoulder, then he was gone.

  I finally turned to face Dallas, who stood on the stage apart from everyone else, watching me with his arms crossed over his chest. His cello rested in a stand next to him. I pictured Adam Sandler walking down the airplane aisle singing to Drew Barrymore, not caring what anyone else thought. I had to be brave like that.

  I already looked like a dork. I might as well finish this.

  Slowly, very slowly, I approached him, tuning out the laughter and cacophony behind us. He watched me with his usual McNerdy intensity, even more visible without the glasses. I saw his eyes travel up and down my body, taking in the full ridiculousness of my outfit. A muscle twitched in his jaw as I stopped right in front of him. I wondered if he was trying not to laugh.

  I took a deep breath. “Once upon a time, you told me your criteria. For your replacement girlfriend.” I cleared my throat and stood up taller in my boots, which were killing my feet. “I believe I meet those requirements.”

  His eyes widened, then he ran a hand over his mouth. Was he hiding a smile? I couldn’t be sure. “You think so?”

  I nodded. I was insane. Completely out of my Vulcan mind and my human heart. But I wasn’t going to stop until I’d told him everything. Just like Spock when he got zapped by those alien spores. Just like in my favorite books, this was my grand gesture, and I was going to do it right.

  I inhaled, then let the words tumble out in a rush. “I was an idiot, Dallas. You were always my mission target. But I was…afraid. I didn’t want to get my heart broken again.”

  He watched me, his eyes never moving from mine. How did he stay so still like that? I wasn’t even sure if he was breathing.

  “But you know what? I don’t care anymore if you break my heart. Because the thing is, I…I really like you Dallas. A lot. You’re an amazing guy. You’re sweet, and smart, and funny…and brave…and I just…just needed you to know that.” I waited, but he said nothing as he stood there like a McNerd statue, so I let my hormones take over my vocal cords again. “I wish I could rewind the past couple of months and go back to that night you kissed me. But I can’t. All I can do is tell you I’m sorry I ever let you walk away.”

  He finally moved, tilting his head slightly. “Maybe we should discuss this logically, Spock.”

  My mouth dropped open. “What?”

  He was definitely smirking. He took a step closer, and I could smell his minty, soapy Dallas smell. I would not swoon.

  “First,” he said, “about my criteria.” He took another step toward me, reaching up to twirl a strand of my hair around his finger. My heart sped up, then stuttered to a stall like a plane tanking into a free fall. “Number one: pretty. We both know I’m shallow.” He shrugged. “Can’t help it.” His eyes roved over my face, stopping on one of my pointy ears. “You meet that one.”

  “In spite of the ears?” I joked, proud of myself for not collapsing into a puddle of nerd-worshipping mush.

  His gaze moved from my ear to my face. “Because of them, not in spite of them. Number two, smart.”

  “But a special kind of smart,” I interrupted. “Not the kind who beats people up with her smartness.”

  “Right,” he agreed. The hand not entwined in my hair reached out to wrap around my waist and pull me in close. “Smart as in apologizes on her blog to everyone she’s hurt.”

  So he’d read my blog? All I could do was stare into his eyes, which remained fixed on mine. I wondered how long I could go without breathing before I passed out. I desperately wanted to feel his lips on mine before I lost consciousness.

  “Number three.” He ducked his head and grazed my lips with his. “Has her own opinions.” His lips spread into a slow grin. “Likes to argue.” His lips drifted up to my nose, making me giggle. “Check.”<
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  “Get a room!” Toff’s voice bellowed onto the stage, followed by laughter and cheers. Dallas and I turned to face our friends, who huddled in a tight knot at the bottom of the stage, grinning up at us.

  “Dude,” Dallas warned, “you know I can kick your ass.”

  “Please do.” Jaz smirked. “I’ll pay you extra if you mute him for life.”

  “Viv finally gets her man, just like me!” Iggy hollered, then he high-fived Nathan and planted a kiss on his lips, inspiring more cheering.

  Claire shot me a thumbs-up from the aisle where she hung out with her surfer friends. Amy moved close to the stage and motioned me over. I stepped away from Dallas and leaned down so I could hear her over the rowdy crowd, some of whom were still singing or chanting for Fisk, hoping for an encore.

  “It’s just like in our favorite books,” she said, beaming up at me.

  “What is?”

  She winked. “Your mission failed for a reason, Viv. True love can’t be strategized. It just…happens.” Her gaze darted nervously to Toff, then she turned away, blushing.

  Dallas appeared next to me, tugging me away from the edge of the stage. “Thanks for your support, guys, but Viv and I need to…talk. Alone.”

  Everyone catcalled as Dallas pulled me off center stage into a dark corner where old stage sets blocked us from view.

  We were alone in near darkness and he held me so close I felt his chest rise and fall against mine.

  “Before we got interrupted,” he said, his voice low and rumbly, “I was thinking about kissing you.”

  My heart thudded against my ribs. “Maybe you should stop thinking and just do it.”

  He laughed softly, then his lips grazed mine so softly I could hardly stand it. I wanted pressure. Lots of it. So I pulled him against me so tightly that all I felt was lean, hard muscle and hot, hot skin, even through his clothes.

  But before I could kiss him, his lips devoured mine, kissing me so passionately I completely forgot where I was. I kissed him back, reaching up to run my fingers through his hair. I felt him groan deep in his chest, and suddenly we were moving, me walking backward, him pushing me against the wall.