by Jody Morse
His second text came back to me right away. I’m fine.
I hesitated before writing, Do you know when you can see me instead?
I expected him to give me a day, but when my phone bleeped, I found that all he had said was, No clue.
Deciding that maybe it didn’t even matter if I broke up with him because maybe he wasn’t interested in me after all, I silenced my phone and rested my head on my pillow. After sulking for about a half hour, I finally drifted off to sleep.
*
I didn’t dream that night. At least, I don’t think I did. All I could remember was seeing my eyelids close and the next thing I knew, I was being drawn to the water.
Sing for me. The words were merely a whisper, and they drifted past me as quickly as the wind, but I was positive that I had heard someone calling to me. I wasn’t even sure if it was male or female, but for some reason, I knew that I had to do as the voice said.
Felicia, you must sing for me. It is your destiny to sing, the whispery voice pleaded with me again, and this time, I felt myself being enveloped by the water as I waded through it. I began humming the same melody that I had been captivated by all my life, singing words that I had never heard before, but that drifted out of me as though I knew them by heart. Though I was consciously aware that I was singing, I had no control of it. My body was singing all on its own.
As I waded further into the ocean, where my feet could no longer touch the sand below me, I lost myself in the music. Everything in front of me became clouded. I reached my hand out in front of me; though I could see its silhouette, there was a heavy fog in front of my eyes that prevented me from being able to see it fully.
It felt like the water was a part of me, like we were connected as one. So, when someone else waded into the ocean, I could feel it instantly. It was like the waves that were rocking me gently in the water were being disrupted by this stranger who was entering my ocean, my water.
I could feel the person swimming in the water frantically to reach me, and I realized what was happening—but I couldn’t do anything to stop it, either. I wanted to stop my song just long enough to scream at the person to stay away from me, to somehow break their trance.
But I couldn’t.
Even though every ounce of my being tried to stop myself from singing, the words and the melody came out all on their own. Singing was like breathing, and I had no choice but to give into the music that streamed out of me.
As the person inched closer to me, I felt myself slipping under the water. Even while I was under the water, I sang. In fact, the deeper I went under the water, the louder I could hear my voice echoing around me. I plunged into the dark depths of the ocean, running my hands through the salt water that soaked into my skin, feeding my yearning for it, before everything went black.
Chapter 21
Someone shook me gently. My eyes flew open. A glance at my surroundings told me that I was lying on the beach.
“It looks like you fell asleep,” the police officer, who was holding a clipboard, said. “Want to tell me why you’re on the beach so early?”
By the look of the sun, which shone brightly over me, I could tell that it was probably around seven o’clock. The beach didn’t open until eight, so it had to look weird that I was lying here all by myself.
Remembering what had happened last night—the dream about me singing—I sat up. I must have sleepwalked again. “I just came to watch the sunrise,” I lied. “I guess I just fell asleep. It was a rough night.” I forced myself to smile at the officer, who shook his head at me.
“Kids,” he muttered under his breath. “If you’re going to get drunk at a party, you should just call someone to pick you up. Wandering on the beach when there are no lifeguards on duty is dangerous. As it is, someone drowned sometime late last night or early this morning.”
“Someone drowned?” I asked, my voice merely a whisper.
“Yeah, a middle-aged man. We found his body washed up on the shore. Can’t tell you his name yet because we’re still trying to notify his family. I’m sure you’ll read about it in the newspapers. We’ve noticed a lot of cases of people drowning recently.” The police officer shook his head again. “These vacationers think that they’re so invincible that they can go swimming out deep into the water in the middle of the night by themselves without a lifeguard on duty. They’re out of their minds.”
“I—I have to go,” I said, pulling myself up off the ground. Luckily, I was fully clothed.
I ran all the way down the beach and then darted across the street, not stopping to take a single breath until I was home. I flung open the front door and ran into my room and, slamming the door behind me, sunk to the floor. Was this really happening? Had I actually just killed someone?
My eyes began to fill up with tears because, despite the fact that there hadn’t been a full moon last night, I knew the answer; I really had caused someone to drown.
I knew this was going to happen eventually, but I had been expecting it to take longer than this—months longer, at least. I wasn’t ready to deal with the guilt of causing my first drowning. Not that I would ever have been ready, I supposed.
At least now, I knew that what my sister and her family were saying was true: I was a siren—an allurer, a songstress, a supernatural being. And a murderer.
Glancing at the clock, I knew that I had to get ready for work if I wanted to keep my job. And, murderer or not, I still needed to act like nothing was out of the ordinary. I pulled on my lifeguard suit and glanced in the mirror. My eyes were light—so light that they reminded me of Angelica’s translucent-like silvery eyes: a color that was almost unnatural.
I pulled on a pair of sunglasses to cover my eyes. I didn’t want anyone—especially Gram—to see them and notice the difference. I had to ask Scarlett if this change in eye color had to do with being a siren; I had a feeling it did. Gabby, Jasmine, and Angelica all had some of the lightest eyes I’d ever seen. Scarlett’s looked the same as they always had, but hers had always been on the lighter side in comparison to most people’s eyes.
When I strolled into the kitchen to grab something for breakfast (since I still had to at least pretend I ate during the day and force myself to eat while I was around Gram, so she wouldn’t suspect that something was up), my grandmother was sitting at the kitchen table.
“Felicia?” Gram asked, her forehead wrinkled in confusion. “Why are you wearing sunglasses in the house?”
I had been hoping that she wouldn’t ask about it. “I just put them on so I wouldn’t forget them,” I shrugged.
“Are you sure that’s all it is?” Gram asked, a funny look on her face. “Your voice sounds weird, too. Have you been crying?”
“Oh, um, yeah,” I replied. I knew that I couldn’t hide the fact that I had been crying from my grandmother. She knew me too well. And if that was the only thing my grandmother was suspicious of, it was a good thing; I couldn’t imagine how she’d react if I removed my sunglasses right now.
“What’s wrong, Bumblebee?” Gram asked. “Did you get into an argument with Tyler?”
“Something like that,” I replied with a shrug. “But it’s no biggie.” I shoved a cereal bar inside my tote bag. “I have to go to work now. I’ll see you later.”
Once I was out of the house, I breathed a small sigh of relief. I was glad that I was free of my grandmother’s interrogation—for now. But I knew that I was going to have to see Angelica today. I had to tell her that I’d killed someone, and I needed to find out what I could do about my eyes.
Shortly after I was situated in my lifeguard chair and had already blown the whistle at a guy who had gone too far out in the water, I noticed Carrie coming towards me. It was the first time I’d seen or talked to her since that night at Scoops with Scarlett, Gabby, and Jasmine, and the look on her face told me I was in for questioning.
She climbed up onto the chair and sat down on the large step that my feet were resting on.
“You really need a ped
icure,” Carrie commented. I glanced down at my toenails and discovered that she was right; the silver polish was beginning to chip away.
“Gee, thanks,” I muttered.
Carrie looked up at me. “You’ve been acting different lately.”
“I have?” I asked. I found myself surprised at her comment, but I wasn’t sure why. Of course I had been acting different. I was different. “How?”
My best friend shrugged. “I don’t know. I noticed it when you started seeing Tyler, but it’s gotten worse over the past week. Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine,” I replied with a shrug.
Carrie stared back at me in disbelief. “So, I know it’s technically not my business or anything, but . . .”
“But you want to know who the girls you saw me with are,” I finished her sentence. Carrie nodded. I hadn’t thought about what I’d tell her, so I blurted out the first thing I could think of. “They’re just some friends from my old school. I haven’t seen them in years.”
“Oh, well, they seem really cool,” Carrie replied, pulling a water bottle out of her tote bag. She also pulled a lemon out of a plastic bag and squeezed it into the bottle of water.
I raised my eyebrows. “I thought you hated lemon.”
“Well, I do—err, I did,” Carrie replied. Sighing because she knew that she couldn’t hide the truth from me, she explained, “That’s all those girls you were at Scoops with ordered, and they look amazing. It’s like their skin glows. If it works for them, maybe it will work for me, too.”
I had to hold back my laughter. It’s not like I could tell Carrie that it wasn’t going to work that way—or that the real reason Gabby and Jasmine looked so amazing was because they were sirens—so instead, I said, with a smile, “Well, I hope it works the way you want it to.”
Carrie started to say something else, but my cell phone started ringing. Glancing around to make sure that no one was watching (since cell phones weren’t really allowed while we were on duty), I pulled it out of my tote bag. The number on the caller ID was one that I didn’t recognize, but somehow, I knew it was Scarlett or one of her friends calling me.
I turned to Carrie and said, “Sorry. I have to take this right now. Maybe we can catch up later?”
My best friend stared back at me quizzically for a moment before nodding. “Okay. Call me.” Once she had descended my chair and was feet away from me, I glanced at the phone that I held in my hands. It had stopped ringing, so I redialed the number that had placed the call.
Almost immediately, I heard Scarlett whisper into the phone. “Felly?”
“Yeah, it’s me,” I replied.
“We saw what happened on the news. It was you . . . right?”
I glanced around. Even though my cell phone was pressed against my ear and the volume was turned down fairly low, I was afraid that someone would hear and connect me to the drowning. “Yes,” I whispered.
“Come over,” Scarlett commanded. “Right now.”
“I can’t. I’m at work. I’ll be over as soon as I’m finished,” I replied quietly. Spotting a little boy who was crying and holding a jellyfish in his hand, which made me think he had been stung, I said, “I have to go. I’ll see you then.”
*
As I was gathering up my things and getting ready to head over to Angelica’s house, I heard someone call my name.
Turning around, I found Carrie staring back at me. I was surprised to see her again at first, but I quickly noticed that she wasn’t alone.
Donnie was standing next to her. My eyes fell to his arm wrapped around her waist. There was something weird about the way he held her; I couldn’t tell if his grip was possessive or protective.
When I met his gaze, I found him staring back at me, his dark brown eyes piercing through mine.
“Do you and Tyler want to go on that mini golf date with us tonight?” Carrie asked.
“I—I don’t think so,” I replied, ignoring the shivers that crept down my spine and the uneasy feeling that was forming in the pit of my stomach. “Tyler said he was busy.”
“Oh, that sucks.” Carrie’s face fell. Pointing her chin at Donnie, she said, “I can’t wait for the two of them to meet.”
“Me either,” I murmured politely. I hated keeping things from my best friend, but I wasn’t ready to admit that I might be breaking up with Tyler for the time being, and I definitely couldn’t tell her that Donnie made me uncomfortable.
“We understand that you can’t do it tonight,” Donnie spoke up. When I heard him say the words, I felt something stir inside of me. It was the first time I had heard him speak, but his voice was exactly the way I’d imagined it—quiet, silky, and angelic all at the same time. He licked his lips before adding, “Another time.”
I stared into Donnie’s eyes, speechless at first. Finally, I forced myself to break our gaze and turned to Carrie. “I’ll text you later, okay? Have fun.”
At least, I think that’s what I said. Being around Donnie made me feel . . . weird. As I began to walk away from them, I completely zoned out and forgot where I was going. I was halfway home when I remembered that I was supposed to go to Angelica’s first.
I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and called Gram. She didn’t answer her cell phone, so I left a voicemail telling her that I was going out to dinner with a few of the other lifeguards.
When I got to Angelica’s house, I rang the doorbell, but no one answered. I walked around to the back of the house, and I found all four of them where I had been expecting—in the swimming pool.
“Well, aren’t you all a bunch of mermaids?” I kidded.
“Ha ha, very funny,” Scarlett replied, splashing water at me.
Angelica scowled.
“Sorry. Did I say something wrong?”
She shrugged her shoulders, which were bare. Her long blonde hair was pulled into a ballerina bun on the top of her head, and she was wearing a red strapless one piece bathing suit. “I just have a personal beef with mermaids. They sometimes get credit for the things we do.”
I raised an eyebrow at her. Until now, I wasn’t entirely sure that mermaids existed, let alone what they were credited for.
“Sometimes, they say ships sink because of mermaids,” Angelica explained. “They’re thought to sing a song that leads men to their death.” She scoffed. “They do no such thing. I’m not saying mermaids can’t be bitches, but they’re fully in control of any murders they might cause. For us, it’s not controllable at all. Which, you obviously know now.”
I looked down at the wet puddle on the cement ground beneath my feet. I’d been trying not to think about it, but it didn’t change anything; I had caused a death last night, whether I liked it or not.
“Are you okay, Felly?” Scarlett asked me, swimming to the edge of the pool. She pulled herself out of it and strolled over to me, wrapping her arms around me in a warm embrace.
“I’m okay, I guess. Considering.”
“It gets easier after the first one,” Angelica said. “Right now, you’re just probably dealing with the idea that you’re capable of something like this. But now that you know, the next one won’t seem so hard.”
“That’s actually true,” Gabby chimed in. “I felt weird after for my first one, err, six, but it got easier over time.”
I stared at both of them. I couldn’t believe that they could talk about murdering people so easily. Didn’t they have any feelings at all, or were they completely cold-hearted? And if they were cold-hearted, would I be like them one day? Just the idea made me feel sick.
“Do you know what triggered it to happen?” Scarlett asked. “There wasn’t a full moon last night, so you must have been in a bad mood.”
I shrugged. “I was upset over Tyler, I guess.”
“Tyler?” Scarlett asked. “Who’s that?”
“He’s my . . .” I started to say boyfriend, but I quickly remembered that we hadn’t officially agreed that we were exclusive yet. “He’s just a boy. I like h
im.”
Scarlett searched my face. “You’re dating someone?”
“Sort of,” I nodded.
“You shouldn’t do that,” Jasmine warned, speaking to me for the first time since I’d arrived. “Nothing good can come of it.”
“How do you figure?” I asked. Part of me knew that she was right—how could a human and a siren have a relationship? But it annoyed me that Jasmine thought I would want her advice when she’d been nothing but a bitch to me until now.
“Look what happened to Gabby when John broke up with her. The girl went on a killing spree,” Jasmine said. “She caused more deaths in a week than I did in half a year.”
“So, dating’s off-limits then?” I asked, turning to Angelica.
“I wouldn’t say that, per se.” Angelica shook her head. “I actually hope that, one day, you will date. I don’t think you’re ready quite yet, though.”
“Why?” I asked, feeling my heart sink. I had known deep down that Angelica would say something like this—that I shouldn’t date anyone right now. But I hadn’t actually been ready to hear it. Part of me had been hoping that I might not have to break up with Tyler right now after all . . . assuming he still had feelings for me.
I slid out of my flip flops and sat down at the edge of the pool to listen to Angelica’s answer. When I stuck my feet in, I felt the stress immediately release from my body as the saltwater seeped into my skin.
Angelica’s silvery eyes met my eyes, penetrating through them. I shifted uncomfortably beneath her gaze. “Dating as a siren requires you to never fall in love.” I opened my mouth to speak, but she gave me a look that made me quickly close it as she continued. “Much of it has to do with what Jasmine mentioned. If you become too emotionally attached to anyone and you break up or they hurt you, there is a risk of you luring and killing other men.”
Angelica paused, running her hands through the water. She dipped her head into it, allowing the salt water to soak into the roots of her hair and her scalp. “There’s also a risk that if you ever did fall in love with a man—or with a woman—you could lure and kill him or her.” When she looked up at me, she explained, “That is why it’s absolutely essential to only date if you are willing to detach yourself emotionally from the other person. Date for fun, for companionship, for curing boredom—but never date for love.”
