by Jody Morse
“So, basically, I’m never allowed to fall in love? Ever?” I felt my voice squeak as I asked the question. I wasn’t a hopeless romantic, but I had always wanted to get married one day and live happily ever after just as much as the next girl.
Angelica shook her head. “No, and as your mother—your siren mother, I mean—you’re not allowed to date right now.”
“But Gabby did,” I protested. For some reason, I didn’t even bother pointing out that while Angelica may be the reason I was a siren (although Jasmine was technically the one who had changed me), she didn’t have control over me. As much as I wanted to believe it wasn’t true, that she didn’t have control over me, I got the feeling that we were all supposed to obey her. I wasn’t about to argue about it right now . . . not when I was so new at this.
“Gabby didn’t tell me she was dating,” Angelica replied, a note of disapproval obvious in her voice. “If I had known, it wouldn’t have continued.”
“Gabby didn’t want to give up her boyfriend from her old life,” Scarlett explained. “So, she continued to see him behind all of our backs.”
Gabby looked like she was about to cry. “And I have apologized to you all about it repeatedly.”
“It’s okay, Gabs,” Jasmine cut in. “I’ve been over it for a while now.”
“Me, too,” Scarlett said, flashing a smile at Gabby.
Angelica didn’t say anything. She only turned to me. “If you know what’s best for you, you’ll stay away from Tyler.”
I let out a loud sigh. “Fine. Whatever.” I stared down at the water below me before turning back to Angelica. “Issue number two. Look at my eyes.”
Angelica looked into my eyes. She nodded, and her lips twisted into a smile. “Ah, yes. I can see that the change is already beginning to take place. Marvelous!”
“What change? I thought I already changed into a siren?”
“Our eye color changes,” Gabby said, meeting my gaze with her seawater blue eyes.
“It’s the first thing that changes about our appearance,” Scarlett explained. “Next, your skin will change, and you’ll start to notice your curves more.”
“I didn’t know my looks were going to change. I just thought I wasn’t going to age,” I replied.
“We’re thought to be the most beautiful women that have ever walked the Earth,” Angelica said. “You didn’t think that would just happen naturally overnight, did you?”
I shook my head, my cheeks reddening. I got the feeling that she was trying to say that I was ugly, but maybe I was just being paranoid.
“The older we are, the more beautiful we become,” Angelica explained. “Haven’t you noticed who the prettiest girl here is?”
I glanced around at all of them. I was inclined to say that Scarlett was the most beautiful, but I was probably just biased because she was my sister. Now that I looked at each of their faces, I understood. Jasmine was the prettiest. Except for Angelica, of course; no one could be as stunning as she was.
“It goes by our birth order,” Gabby explained. “Since Angelica was born first, she’s the prettiest. I was born last, so I’m the ugliest.”
She seemed upset over it, so I gave her a sympathetic look, just as Scarlett said, “Oh, shut up, Gabby. You’re so pretty.”
Gabby smiled, the way someone who was seeking approval would smile. “Thanks. But I always feel so ugly compared to all of you.”
“Well, the good news is, Felicia’s uglier than you now,” Jasmine said.
They all laughed, and I forced myself to laugh with them. Jasmine glared at me, so I knew she wasn’t just trying to be funny, but I decided that I was going to ignore her snide comments from this moment on. If I didn’t let her think she was getting to me, she would stop . . . or so I hoped. If we were both going to live forever, we might as well try to like each other.
Angelica glanced over at me. “I suppose you’re trying to figure out a way to hide your new eyes, aren’t you?”
I nodded. “Yeah, people will definitely notice if I just walk around like this.”
“I figured. Okay, come on.” Angelica climbed out of the pool, leaving the other girls behind. She led me into the back door and down the hall to one of the first floor bathrooms. She opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a rectangular-shaped box, which she handed to me. “We tried to match your eye color as best as we could using one of your Facebook pictures, but they still might look a little lighter than usual. Our irises are difficult to hide.”
I stared back at her dumbly. Before I could ask what she was talking about, Angelica explained, “They’re colored contact lenses. You’ll have to wear them from now on.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. Thankfully, I would be able to cover up my new eye color. On the other hand, I’d never thought about using contact lenses before because I’d never needed glasses, but the idea made me cringe. The thought of touching my eyes grossed me out. But if that was what I would have to do hide this, I’d do it every day from now on.
“Jasmine and I wear them any time we go out in public, but not at home,” Angelica explained, pointing at her eyes (as though I hadn’t already noticed what color they were). “Gabby doesn’t need to wear them yet because her eyes didn’t turn out to be such an unnatural shade of blue. Her starting eye color was a very dark shade of blue, though, almost a shade of sapphire. I knew right away that your eyes would turn out to be lighter than hers.”
“Does Scarlett wear colored contacts?” I asked, mostly out of curiosity, since I had noticed my sister’s eye color didn’t look all that much different than it used to.
Angelica nodded. “Even at home. Her eyes are very close to my color, but a little bit whiter than gray. They’re so light that they freak her out whenever she looks in the mirror, so she wears contacts at all times.” She paused before looking at me. “Hopefully, you’ll be more comfortable with your new eyes. I like to think of it as a gift.”
“A gift?”
“Absolutely. It sets us apart from humans. It’s really a special thing.”
I nodded and forced a smile. I hadn’t considered this a gift. I just looked abnormal.
“Now that that’s been settled, there’s something else I’d like to discuss with you,” Angelica told me in a hushed voice. I got the feeling that whatever it was, she didn’t want the other girls to know. It made me feel happy to know that she had only just met me, and already she thought she could trust me with some sort of a secret.
At that moment, the back door opened and Scarlett waltzed into the room. “Did you show her the contacts?” she asked excitedly.
“I did,” Angelica replied. Turning to me, she leaned in and whispered, “We’ll talk about that other thing some other time.”
Chapter 22
As I walked home from Angelica’s house wearing my new contact lenses, I stopped by Scoops to buy a few gallons of their slow churned cherry vanilla and rocky road ice cream to keep Gram’s fridge stocked. After a Ben & Jerry’s session with Scarlett and Gabby, we’d found that ice cream was the only thing that we all could still eat and actually enjoy—and the good news, according to Angelica, was that it wouldn’t make us gain weight like it did with humans.
Carrie was working at the counter, and she looked down at her hands when she saw me. “I was going to tell you later, but . . . you’re here now, so you can see for yourself.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
She pointed with her chin over my shoulder, and I spun around.
Right away, I spotted Tyler’s light brown hair and the pink polo t-shirt he’d worn the second time we’d hung out. He also happened to be sitting in the same exact booth that we’d sat in when we’d gone to Scoops on our first date.
Across the booth from him sat a girl with chestnut brown hair that fell just below her shoulders. Even from the other side of the room, I could hear their laughter loud and clear. My heart froze in my chest.
I turned back to Carrie, who gave me a sympathetic
look. “I was afraid you wouldn’t believe me, so I was going to take a picture for you with my phone just in case,” she explained. “If I wasn’t on the job, I’d offer to smack him for you.”
“What are you even doing here?” I asked. “Aren’t you supposed to be mini-golfing with Donnie?”
Carrie shook her head. “He insisted that we wait for you and . . .” She glanced over her shoulder at their booth before saying, “Tyler,” under her breath. “And then I got called into work, so I figured I might as well make some extra money.” She rung up my ice cream and I handed her a twenty dollar bill. “I’m so sorry. I’ll ask Donnie if he has a cute friend who might be interested in you.”
In the background, I could hear the girl trill, “Oh, Tyler! You’re so funny!” I gritted my teeth. It made me angry that Tyler claimed he was busy and had a lot going on, when really it was obvious that he was just ‘busy’ and ‘had a lot going on’ with this other girl. If he really didn’t like me, I wished he would have just been upfront with me about it instead of leaving me to wonder what his true feelings were.
Turning to Carrie, I said, “That’s okay. You don’t need to do that for me. I think I’m going to take a break from the whole dating scene for a while.”
Carrie just gawked at me, and I couldn’t blame her. It was such a weird thing for someone like me—who had barely even dated in the first place—to say. But it was what I had been planning to do all along. I had known that I was going to have to end things (at least temporarily) with Tyler.
But there was a difference—I had been planning to end things not out of choice, but for his own safety. He, on the other hand, was just interested in someone else. He had seemed genuinely interested in me, too, though. I didn’t understand why he had gone to such lengths to ensure that our first date would be amazing when he was just planning to disappear at the drop of a hat. He had opened up to me so much . . . or at least, I thought he had. Maybe he was opening up with this new girl just as much.
“I’ll talk to you later,” I muttered to Carrie. As I was about to leave the ice cream parlor, I took one look over my shoulder at Tyler. His eyes met mine.
He must have been able to tell how hurt and betrayed I felt because his face softened.
I stared back at him for only a second before I whirled around and sped out of Scoops. I was about halfway home when I got Tyler’s first text, which said, I need to talk to u.
Don’t worry about it. Actions speak louder than words, I texted back.
My phone bleeped again within seconds. They don’t always speak as loud as u might think. Come on, Felicia, we need to talk. It’s important.
Part of me wanted to talk to him, just to listen, but what was the point? I had to end it, anyway. So, instead of giving him the chance to tell his side of the story, I wrote back, this obviously isn’t what you want, but that’s okay. I’m not sure I want it either anymore. It’s best for us to just end things now before it goes any further and someone gets hurt.
I hesitated before sending. I knew this really wasn’t what I wanted, but if seeing him just now was any indication of how he would react, I didn’t have to worry. He was probably already over me.
I waited for Tyler to text me back, but he didn’t. I decided it was probably better off that way.
*
The next morning, I expected to find myself lying on the sand, especially after breaking up with Tyler (if I could even call it that). So, I was a little surprised when I woke up on my own satin sheets.
Stretching out, my body ached. I quickly realized it was because I needed water—and not just any water. Salt water.
Climbing out of bed, I changed into a tankini. Luckily, I had off today . . . which gave me more than enough time to swim.
I debated going over to Angelica’s house to use their pool and hang out with Scarlett, but the ocean was so much closer. With all of the pain and tension that I felt in my legs, I wasn’t sure if I’d have the easiest time walking over to her house.
I found that Gram wasn’t home, but she had left a note on the countertop. I was shocked by what she had written: Bumblebee, the doctors called about your mother. They think she’s doing better. She’s requested to see you. If you want to see her soon, let me know when you’re free. – Gram.
Even though I had wanted to reunite with my mother years ago, it felt like the last thing I needed to deal with right now; with everything else that was going on in my life, I wasn’t sure that there was room for anything else that could be potentially painful. I didn’t want to get my hopes up too high only to be let down if the doctors were wrong. But just to make Gram happy, I wrote underneath her note: Saturday works for me. – F.
Once I had crossed the street, I could see the ocean in my view. I began to lick my lips thirstily, the same way a person who had been stranded in the desert would begin to salivate at the sight of water.
When I stepped into the water, I immediately felt all of the tension that my body held being released from my toes. The deeper into the ocean I got, the more I felt the stress leaving my body. It was strange to think that the ocean could relieve my pain this much.
“Felicia!” I heard my name being called.
I glanced around and noticed that someone—a tall, tan, dark-haired, masculine someone—was wading towards me. Jackson.
“Hey!” I called to him. As he inched closer and his intense blue eyes flitted over at me, I felt my heart flutter.
“What are you doing here?” Jackson asked. “You don’t have to work today?”
“Nope, I have the day off,” I replied, treading the water.
“Ah. Well, the water’s great today,” he said.
“Yes, it is.” I smiled. Great was an understatement of how I felt about the water today. It was pure heaven at that moment.
“Maybe we can hang out later,” Jackson said. “And now, too.”
I raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re here by yourself?”
“Yeah, well, I came here earlier with someone, but they had to leave already. Some type of family emergency came up,” Jackson shrugged. He dove into an oncoming wave—one that hadn’t come to a crest, yet—and swam a little closer to me. “So, what do you say, Chair Thirteen?”
“I—umm,” I stumbled over my words. Angelica had made it very clear that I wasn’t allowed to date yet, but she hadn’t told me that I wasn’t allowed to hang out with a guy—who just happened to be really cute and grinning at me widely as he waited for an answer. “Sure, let’s hang out.”
“Cool.” He grabbed me by the waist and flung me into the water. I made sure not to open my eyes underwater, since Angelica had warned me that I could lose a contact if I left them open. In fact, she’d told me that I should try not to go underwater whenever possible when I had them in. When I came back up for air, Jackson flashed me a cocky grin. “This is going to be a fun day.”
After Jackson and I spent most of the day swimming in the ocean, I went home to get changed. We’d decided that we were going to see a movie at the movie theater on the beach and then go out for pie. The idea of eating pie made my stomach churn. I had suggested that we go for ice cream instead, but Jackson was lactose intolerant, so that wasn’t an option.
I slid into a light yellow sundress and pulled my hair into a high ponytail. Glancing in the mirror, I applied eye makeup, careful not to apply my liner too close to my eyes. Once I was done, I popped my contact lenses back in. It felt weird to wear them—almost like I was putting tiny suction cups on my eyes.
Glancing at myself in the mirror, I tried to ignore what had been on my mind all day. Even though Jackson hadn’t suggested that this should be a date, it sure felt like one. It made me feel like I was disobeying—and maybe even betraying—Angelica and my sister, but how could I just say no?
At that moment, my phone beeped loudly. When I glanced down at it, I found I had one new text message from Tyler. Felicia, I need to talk to you, it read.
Sighing, I deleted the message. I wasn’t about
to let Tyler ruin my night with Jackson.
Taking one final glance in the mirror, I decided that I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I couldn’t live a life where I would never be allowed to hang out with guys. All I had to do was make sure I didn’t fall for them.
With Jackson, at least, that seemed really easy.
Chapter 23
After the movie on the beach was over, Jackson and I walked over to The Pie Pantry. The scent of coffee filled my nostrils; it was a scent that I used to love, but now it just smelled disgusting and made me feel sick to my stomach. We sat down at one of the booths and placed our order. Jackson ordered pecan, and I opted for chocolate mousse, hoping that the flavor would taste as good as ice cream did.
“So, what do you want to be when you grow up?” Jackson asked from across the table, running his hands over a napkin.
I raised an eyebrow at him. “You make it sound like we’re still little kids or something.”
He shrugged his shoulders and ran a hand through his black hair, which he had spiked in the front with gel today. “We sort of are. So, what do you want to be?”
“I don’t really know,” I replied with a shrug.
“Oh, come on. You’ve got to be passionate about something,” Jackson insisted.
The waitress set our pie down on the table, and I grabbed my fork, taking a bite of the chocolate filling. It wasn’t quite as good as ice cream, but also not the worst thing I’d eaten since I’d become a siren. “I’ve always wanted to be a nurse or a doctor. Or possibly an EMT. Someone who helps save lives.”
“I expected you to say that you wanted to be a teacher or a lawyer,” Jackson replied, shoveling a piece of his pecan pie into his mouth. “What makes you want to be a life-saver?”
