Sohlberg and the Missing Schoolboy: an Inspector Sohlberg mystery (Inspector Sohlberg Mysteries)

by Amundsen, Jens

  He started laughing and laughing when he realized that finally something in her miserable and toxic life of lies was true: CORROSIVE.

  Yes . . . that’s her!

  His shoulders shook as he laughed and thought of her winding up as an acidic gob of pink nothingness. Yes. She will be truly unfathomable and unknowable at the chemical waste management plant that will receive the barrel with her remains.

  The barrel. He’s glad to have snuck one out of his employer’s factory during a long holiday weekend when no one was looking or paying close attention. He’s already begun stealing two bottles of acid at the time from the factory’s nearby warehouse. No one noticed because they literally use thousands of gallons of acid every week.

  When a man plans the end of a project then everything else falls into place all the way back to the beginning of the project.

  Is her acid grave a case of the end justifying the means?

  He laughed at his hilarious observation.

  An hour later he began to rake the dead grass clippings off the lawn and she watched him from the deck in their backyard. She tanned topless—as usual. He waved at her and blew her a kiss. She barely smiled as if she’s a stunning celebrity bored by her beauty and the fawning idiots who worship her.

  How did she first trick me?

  What was her hook and bait?

  What lies did she use to catch me?

  His mind searched the earliest memories that he has of her. He went over these memories and he’s sickened by the realization that he’s been played like a violin by a virtuoso.

  He decided that when he tortures her he will cut off one of her fingers for every big lie she ever told him. That means he’ll have to start lopping off her toes soon after he finishes the ten amputations on her hands.

  He realized that with all of her many many lies he’ll quickly run out of fingers and toes to chop and slice off.

  Should I instead cut each finger and toe one little piece at a time?

  That would certainly increase my quality time with her.

  ~ ~ ~

  The first big lie. For that whopper he has to cut off her right thumb.

  “You’re adopted? So am I.”

  Was that her first hook into me?

  “I was born in the Østlandet the East Country. My mother came from a wealthy family. She was forced by her family to give me up for adoption.”

  Her coming from a wealthy family background lowered his natural resistance to sleeping with someone who was vulgar and tacky and worked as an assistant manager at the McDonald’s where he went once a week for a milkshake. Everyone at his company especially the senior managers and their wives would have been embarrassed to see him with a woman who wore garish makeup that startled and gaudy-colored polyester clothes that revealed too much of her spectacular breasts. She chewed bubble gum loudly and all day long even while eating a meal or making love or sitting on the toilet.

  Her mother later corrected her daughter’s misinformation:

  “Born to a wealthy family? No. The social worker told us her mother turned tricks just to get a bottle of vodka. Sometimes just for a smoke and a beer. Wealthy family? Nonsense. She’s making things up . . . as always. Oh well. I should’ve put a stop to that when I caught her telling her teachers and friends that she was one of the King’s illegitimate children.”

  “Why didn’t you stop her from lying?”

  “I just didn’t want to affect her self-esteem. You know what psychologists say about parents ruining a child’s self-esteem. . . .”

  He said nothing although he wanted to say, “What do these dumb psychologists say about you pathologically spoiling a child and letting them get away with bald-faced lies?”

  The two university professors had gone overboard in spoiling her as their only child. She always got whatever she wanted from them as a child and it was just as bad after she turned 20.

  There was one thing that she had not lied to him about and that was when she told him:

  “My parents are idiots. They’ll do anything and everything for me. I snap my fingers and they ask me how high they need to jump.”

  Her parents always believed whatever she told them at face value even when they should have suspected some of her behavior as an adult. For example: after she got a drunk driving conviction they believed her lie that she had not been drunk but rather driving impaired because she was sleepy and exhausted from taking care of him and their children.

  “Our poor daughter. She works so hard. That judge was so mean. He simply wouldn’t listen!”

  Of course she never told her parents that she had also received a suspended conviction for child endangerment because her son had been in the car with her when she crashed into a tree while driving plastered with double the legal blood alcohol limit. But to her credit she did milk the drunk driving crash for all it was worth. She stopped doing chores at home and never cared for her son because she had “migraines” and “back pain” from the “accident”.

  ~ ~ ~

  The second big lie. For that lie her right index finger comes flying off the chopping block.

  “Did you know I came from old money on my mother’s side?”

  “No,” he said without realizing that she used this lie to make her vulgarity and failed career as a teacher more palatable. He would never have brought a McDonald’s worker into his home as a sex partner let alone a live-in companion. The lie about old money tricked him.

  “My poor mother . . . she was forced to give me up because her family and my father’s family opposed their union. His family is blue blood if you know what I mean and they couldn’t tolerate her being a commoner even if her family had money.”

  He wondered if her endless lying perhaps came from an adopted child never getting over feelings of abandonment. He never had. Nor his brother. He and his brother were grateful for the love and care of their adoptive parents. But deep down he always wondered why his mother had tossed him and his brother aside to another set of parents.

  Constant feelings of abandonment always left him torn between having to commit to a permanent relationship with a woman versus the convenience of a temporary disposable relationship. Somehow he always wound up with the convenient and disposable relationships because that was after all the relationship that his precious birth mother had inflicted on him and his brother. He also noticed that he always became enraged whenever he thought about his birth mother and her decision which had enormous consequences—including the molestation.

  Do unto others as you have had done unto you the abandoned.

  Does she think the same thoughts I have?

  In hindsight he realized that she did indeed feel abandoned. She later admitted that much one day when a few drinks loosened her tongue. And yet she would never admit that she had an unsatiable need to be accepted by someone who would love her and want her and only her. Nor would she admit that she was angry or bitter over the abandonment. Unlike him she never said anything about her anger and bitterness over being abandoned. Not even when he plied her with alcohol to get her talking. She always fell into a silent dark brooding that at first charmed him and later scared him.

  When I torture her will she feel abandoned?

  When I snuff the life out of her will she feel abandoned?

  He couldn’t wait to see her reaction to her torture and her own death. Finally she’d get a taste of her own medicine.

  ~ ~ ~

  The third big lie. For that lie he slowly saws off her middle finger.

  “I love teaching elementary school. I’ve always wanted to be an elementary school teacher since I was nine years old.”

  Was that her third hook into him?

  Did she know that this statement would win me over as a single father?

  Of course she did. An elementary school teacher is the ultimate example of a kind and nurturing role model who exercises a positive influence over children especially those living in a single parent household. He’s angry and disgusted by how easily
he fell for that lie.

  After they got married her mother dropped another bombshell on him when she said:

  “Did my daughter really tell you that she wanted to be an elementary school teacher since she was nine years old? Oh no. Absolutely not. She always wanted to be a beauty queen . . . and an actress when she got older . . . oh yes she definitely wanted to be a movie star when she got older. But she really didn’t have the looks did she?”

  He almost told the mother: “But she does have a talent for acting!”

  Her talent for acting never failed to impress him. The problem was that almost no one ever saw it was acting until long after the performance was delivered and the desired outcome was accomplished and her gullible audience left ready for more after having swallowed her lies—hook—line—and sinker.

  He once met her former mother-in-law (per husband Number Two) who said:

  “She always put on a big production. Everything she did was only to impress people. I mean . . . goodness me . . . well her productions were extravagant. She was after my son and trying to get him to marry her and so she used to bring me and my husband all these flowers and candy and gifts and poems and cards and that all stopped after she got married to my son. She had what she wanted and didn’t need us no more.

  “Then she started again with the gifts and cards and phony friendship when she tried to get us to loan her money. She used to make these pretty cards with top ten lists of why we were good parents or friends or whatever and it was incredible how totally accurate she was about us. That was surprising. She knew us very well . . . a lot more than we ever knew her."

  “Did she get the loan from you?”

  “No and you can imagine what happened when she did not get the loan . . . no more gifts or telephone calls or cards or visits for us.”

  ~ ~ ~

  The fourth big lie. Her finger comes off after he beats it to a pulp with a hammer.

  “I was good at swimming. My parents were swimming champions in high school and the university. I even got to national finals in my senior year of high school. I love swimming and competing in sports.”

  She told him the lie about her loving swimming after he made the mistake of showing her his high school swimming trophies and medals. That’s when she instantly became Little Miss Swimming Champion who loved swimming and competing.

  At a high school reunion the swim coach quickly corrected the false information:

  “Loved swimming? No. She hated swimming. Her father forced her to do it. She lost her first competition on purpose. She never made it to national finals. That’s a big fat lie! She wouldn’t even jump into the water at the starting line of her first competition. After that she dropped out of the team and never swam or competed again. I never understood how even after she did that her parents kept showering her with money and clothes. They even bought her a brand new Volvo while she was in high school. Can you believe that?”

  ~ ~ ~

  The fifth big lie. For that he makes her eat her own right pinkie finger which he severs with a cleaver.

  “I’m kind of a shy bookworm . . . a homebody really.”

  Was that another hook into him the introvert who preferred reading for hours in silence at home?

  He was soon dissuaded of this wrong impression at a booze-fueled party by one of her friends who was a teacher at the school where the monster briefly taught part-time:

  “Book worm? Other than being forced to read books at school for homework I don’t think she’s even read one comic book or magazine in her life. No books. Just partying and spending money. She’s a party girl alright. Did you know that she always dated two or more boys at the same time in high school and college?”

  “No.”

  “Oh yeah. Done the same thing when she was married those three times. I guess I’ve told you too much. But you guys ain’t married . . . are you?”

  “No. But we’ve talked about it.”

  “Keep it at the talk level honey.”

  “Why?”

  “She once told me she couldn’t wait to get married so she could start dating again.”

  “That’s funny.”

  “It sure wasn’t funny for her first or second or third husband. See . . . she married Husband Number One because he was a Rich Daddy’s Boy who partied hard and could get her away from her parent’s control without her having to leave home and get a job. The problem was that his parents absolutely hated her. They had to pay her off when her husband decided to get a divorce after his parents showed him that she had lied about having to get married to him because she was pregnant when it of course turned out that she wasn’t knocked up.

  “Then before she’s divorced from Husband Number One she jumps into bed with future Husband Number Two who’s as smart as a drunk donkey. She gets him started in business with her parents’ money in a business that eventually failed. She soon gets pregnant and after she has their baby Thor she goes nuts and starts dating other high school flames and generally sleeping with anything in pants. I remember one week when she bragged about sleeping with nine men during a long weekend in addition to her future Husband Number Two.”

  “She told me she was divorced when she met her second husband.”

  “No. No. She was still married to the Rich Daddy’s Boy. Later on she was dating several men while that dumb donkey of Husband Number Two was out busy busting his tail trying to make her parents’ business work.”

  “And the baby?”

  “She couldn’t stand the baby after a couple of weeks. Couldn’t stand being tied down to a kid. The Mommy thing got boring for her real fast. She dumped the baby with her parents since she wasn’t working. When they got tired she dumped the kid on her husband’s parents.”

  He now realizes he was blind blind blind to her pattern of getting bored and frustrated with a child. He’s angry and disgusted at how he never caught on to how she always abandoned anything and anyone after she got bored and frustrated with anything or anyone she could not perfectly control. Like her first swimming competition. Like her teaching career. Like her bodybuilding. Like her husbands. Like her son.

  ~ ~ ~

  The sixth big lie. That means he burns off her left thumb with a blowtorch.

  “I’ve always worked. No welfare for me. I always worked to put food on the table for me and my son. When I couldn’t get permanent full-time employment at any of the schools I swallowed my pride and went to work in restaurants.”

  Was that another hook into him who always feared getting stuck with a parasitic woman who’d latch unto him just for his incredible income?

  Of course it was. One summer she had a bad cold and asked him to take her son Thor to spend the weekend visiting Husband Number Three—the boy’s adoptive father. By that time he was wise-ing up to her. He decided to have a talk with Husband Number Three because one of his friends—a twice-divorced manager at Genentech—gave him what turned out to be priceless advice:

  “The best way to get a handle on your wife is to talk to and be friendly with your wife’s ex-husband or ex-husbands.”

  At the drop-off point he invited Husband Number Three for lunch while the boy played at a park next to the restaurant. It didn’t take long for the truth to come out even before the waitress served them traditional open-faced sandwiches.

  Thor’s adoptive father looked straight at him as if reading his mind and said, “Ah. The joys of fatherhood.”

  “Yes. That is true.”

  “Problem is that sometimes the joy gets forced on you.”

  “That’s true too.”

  “Look at me. Three years after we got married I finally fell for the daddy trap that she had carefully prepared and laid out for me months if not years before. I should’ve seen it coming from the first year of our marriage when she released her second husband from financial maintenance for their son.

  “My mother warned me over and over to be careful. She told me over and over that it was a trap . . . a set-up.

  “I stupid
ly thought she had released her second husband from his financial obligations because the man was a deadbeat who spent most of his time unemployed and drinking after she left him. I should have seen it coming when she got the ex-husband to release all of his parental rights to the boy in exchange for being released from the child support.”