Free Falling (Fighting Free Series Book 3)

by Chapple, GL

  I saw the message.

  I sat watching my phone. Even though I was waiting for a response, when it beeped a few minutes later I started, my stomach clenching with nerves. I swallowed as I swiped the screen to read his message.

  What message? Come home. You’ve overreacted. Come back and talk to me.

  I gritted my teeth. He hadn’t answered me! I tapped a quick message straight back to him.

  You’ve not answered me. Are you cheating on me?

  Come home. I’m not going to discuss our relationship via text messages - we’re not teenagers.

  ARE YOU CHEATING?

  No! I love you. I want you. I want a family and a life with you. Come home and stop this.

  I sat staring at his message, reading it over and over again. I wanted to believe his words - I wanted to be loved - I wanted a family – I wanted somewhere to belong, to feel safe and special - but I didn’t feel those things.

  I turned my phone to silent, placed it face down on the bedside table and climbed into the bed. I pulled the duvet up tightly under my chin and wrapped myself up inside the blanket.

  How could things have changed so quickly? I was so confused. Could I imagine myself having a family with him? My heart rate began to speed up at the memory of taking the morning-after pill. I wanted a family – I was just not sure I wanted one with Christian.

  I felt too drained and emotionally wrought to try and think things through. I just needed to switch off and forget everything so I lay there with my eyes closed, trying to keep my mind blank and empty.

  I stayed in bed until the daylight began to ebb from the room. The house was in silence, and I wasn’t sure whether Marcus and Kelly were still there.

  I hadn’t come to any conclusion. I wanted to get my things together, go home, forget that yesterday had happened, just curl up in bed with Christian and put this all behind me - but I couldn’t. I couldn’t just forget that he might have got me pregnant without speaking to me or discussing it at all first. I couldn’t forget that I’d seen a message on his phone: I might not be able to remember exactly what it had said, but it was enough for me to believe that he was cheating on me.

  As much as I wanted to be with someone, I knew I deserved better than that.

  I hated the thought of having to start all over again, though. I didn’t want to be single. I was so sick of being on my own.

  I got up, my stomach grumbling and went downstairs in search of something to eat. I walked into the kitchen and saw that Marcus was sitting in the lounge. I froze and contemplated going back upstairs.

  Without turning to look at me, he called over, “Help yourself to anything to eat.”

  Walking further into the kitchen, I glanced around nervously, spotted the toaster, found some bread, put two slices in and poured myself a drink. I buttered the toast and walked over to where he was sitting. I wanted to escape back to my room, but I didn’t know their rules about taking food upstairs.

  As I sat down on the sofa and picked at the toast, I heard Marcus sigh and glanced over towards him.

  “Mads, listen, what Kelly said – it goes. You can stay here. I have no issue with that. I didn’t mean to make you feel awkward.”

  “Thank you. I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet. I think I was drunk and hasty, but”-

  I didn’t get a chance to continue. Marcus sat up straighter, his brows drawn down in annoyance. “Hasty? I thought that going bareback without telling you was a dick move, but then you told Kelly he was cheating? He’s a fucking prick. He doesn’t deserve you, Mads. Don’t you dare tell me you’re thinking of going back! You deserve better than that!”

  I turned away so he wouldn’t see me fighting back the tears again. “I don’t know for definite he’s cheating,” I mumbled.

  “You seemed pretty convinced this morning.”

  “He loves me; he wants us to be a family. That’s not a bad thing.”

  He snorted, shaking his head. “No, it’s wonderful! Absolutely fucking magical. Tricking you into getting pregnant - what a beautiful way to start a family! He has no respect for you and a complete disregard for your feelings. This is a way to exercise control over you for a very long time, and that is some seriously fucked-up shit. If you even consider going back there you’re out of your fucking mind! ”

  He pushed up from the sofa and stalked out of the room, leaving me chewing the inside of my cheek. I had no idea why Marcus was so angry, or why his reaction was extreme.

  I tried to eat my toast, but it felt like dry cardboard in my mouth. I pushed it away from me and curled up on the sofa, wrapping my arms around a pillow, pulling it close to me and tucking it under my chin. I sat there numbly for a while.

  I just wanted someone to hold me and tell me everything was going to be alright. I couldn’t think straight. I wanted my friend. I needed my friend. As much as I wanted to spare her from having to deal with this - as much as I wanted to let her be happy – I couldn’t. I was too selfish, just as Christian had said - but I really needed her.

  I picked up my phone, hesitating for a moment before calling Lena. Her cheery hello almost made me cry: I didn’t want to be the reason to stop her smiling. I took a deep breath, speaking in a rush to get the words out before I changed my mind. “Hey, Lena. Sorry! Can you come over to Marcus’ house? I need you.”

  I’d barely finished speaking when she answered, “Gimme 10 minutes,” and hung up.

  I heard the front door and realised that I hadn’t moved since I’d ended my phone call with Lena. I jumped up quickly, wanting to open the door without disturbing either Marcus or Kelly.

  Lena grabbed me as the door opened, threw her arms around me and pulled me into her. I felt my body relax, the tension slowly easing from my shoulders. She released me and caught my hand, closing the door behind her, and then pulled me into the living room.

  As soon as I settled myself beside her on the sofa, she began to speak, “What’s going on, Mads?”

  I didn’t know where to start. I wanted to talk to her, but I was so confused.

  With a worried look, Lena reached over and took my hand. “Talk to me, Maddie. What’s going on? Why are you here?”

  I looked down at our hands, unable to maintain eye contact. “I asked Marcus to come and get me. I think Christian is cheating on me.” The words came out low and quiet, but she heard.

  She squeezed my hand and cursed, “Bastard! Why? What made you think that? Have you spoken to him?”

  I shook my head, “He wants me to go back home and speak to him. I can’t face him at the moment.”

  “Oh, honey!” She hugged me close, and I tried unsuccessfully to stop the tears from spilling down my cheeks.

  “Don’t cry, Mads. Oh, I hate to see you like this. Did something happen last night? Why would he cheat? What the hell is wrong with him?”

  “He said…he said he loves me, and he wan…wanted to have a baby” I struggled to get my words out through my sniffles and tears.

  “What? Why would he be cheating if he wanted to have a baby? When did he say that? After you found out?”

  I shook my head again, already feeling like a fraud for not telling her the whole story.

  “He wanted a baby before you found out he was cheating? How does that make sense?”

  I shrugged, and Lena huffed in frustration. “Maddie, explain to me what’s happened! Why did you say you think he’s cheating?”

  “I saw a message, but I can’t remember exactly what it said now. It was late last night.”

  “Well, you were quite drunk. Could you have misread it? Got the wrong end of the stick, somehow?”

  “I don’t know…I don’t think so.” I mumbled, my stomach clenching at the thought that I’d got this wrong. I’d called Lena over and worried her without knowing for sure what I’d even read. I knew that Lena would be there for me, I knew that she’d believe me and take my side, fight my battles with me without question - but what if I’d messed this up? She’d rushed over here, ready for war
, and I had no real idea of what had happened. I couldn’t even remember exactly what I’d read.

  I could tell her the real reason…I should tell her, but I couldn’t.

  Tears pooled in my eyes again when I thought how selfish I’d been to expect her to drop everything and race to me when I didn’t even have all the facts, and the few that I did have, I wasn’t even sharing.

  I wanted her to try and help me make sense of everything but I didn’t even know what to say. I couldn’t even bring myself to admit everything to her - I didn’t even want to think about it myself!

  She gave me a sympathetic smile and squeezed my hand again. “Mads! You need to speak to him. You’re just going to drive yourself crazy. It might not be what you think, and, if it is, he’s a bastard that you’re better off without!”

  “I asked him, but he didn’t really answer me. He’s difficult to talk to sometimes - he twists things. I just…I don’t know. I feel really confused.”

  Lena sat up straighter, her posture less relaxed, “What do you mean - he twists things? Is there more? Mads, don’t give me half a story. I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me. Please, talk to me. Tell me what’s going on. Is he hurting you?”

  “No, no…I just don’t want to be alone again.” I dissolved into sobs, and she held me as I cried. Her mouth was whispering words of comfort as she ran her fingers through my hair and down my back.

  Reluctantly, I pulled back, as I calmed down. I knew my face would be blotchy and swollen. I hated the way I looked when I cried. I couldn’t do it nicely, I wasn’t a gentle, girlie crier - no, I looked like a big, snivelling mess. I rubbed my hands over my face self-consciously, and Lena caught my hand again.

  “Maddie, stop it! Talk to me. What aren’t you telling me? You’ve been reluctant to talk and weird about things with Christian for a while. You’re scaring me. Talk to me or I’ll go to him, and I won’t be asking him nicely.”

  I smiled at her thinly veiled threat as I looked down at our hands. I wanted to try and explain to her how I felt, but I had no idea what to say.

  Christian wasn’t hurting me; it wasn’t like he’d ever hit me or physically abused me in any way. It just felt as if, since we’d moved in together, everything had changed.

  “Living together isn’t what I expected - maybe it’s because I’ve been on my own for so long - it’s just taking some getting used to. I’m quite a selfish person, and…”

  “You are not selfish!” Lena looked enraged. “Mads, look at me…” I raised my face to meet her eyes, as she said slowly and firmly, “You are not selfish. You are one of the most thoughtful, kind, considerate and caring people I know. There might be a period of adjustment when you move in together, but you should still feel happy, Mads, and you sure as hell shouldn’t be left feeling bad about yourself. If he’s cheated then it’s his loss - a huge loss - but you should speak to him, even if it’s just for closure…” she squeezed my hand, “…and if you need to walk away and start over, then that’s what you’ll do, because you’re a capable, strong and amazing woman who deserves someone who’s worthy of her - and that goes for whether he’s cheated or not. If he’s not making you happy, then it’s not working.”

  We both looked towards up as Marcus walked in. His presence changed the atmosphere, and I was grateful. He offered an uncomfortable smile and said hello to Lena before walking through to the kitchen to pick up his car keys.

  “Thanks for looking after Maddie, Marcus.”

  He nodded and walked out without speaking. “He’s been acting weird,” I muttered quietly to myself.

  “I don’t understand why you called Marcus. Why didn’t you call me?” Lena sounded curious, but I could hear the undercurrent of hurt in her tone of voice.

  “Don’t be offended. I really didn’t want to drag you into this - you’re so happy now.”

  She cut me off, her eyes flashing annoyance. “You aren’t dragging me into anything. Stop this! You are my best friend. I expect to know what’s going on with you: you have a problem, you come to me, day or night, no matter what!”

  I squeezed her hand to reassure her. “I know - I have! I’m sorry, don’t be mad at me. It’s only because Marcus messaged me, and I was drunk, and he could tell I was upset, so he said he was coming to get me. I gave him the address, and he picked me up.”

  She looked unimpressed, “Did Marcus talk you into leaving Christian? Did you even try and speak to Christian before you walked out? I’m not sure Marcus collecting you after you’ve both had a night of heavy drinking was your best plan.”

  “It wasn’t like that. I was already packing, or trying to. Marcus just brought me here because I couldn’t check into a hotel. He’s been really good, Lena.” She looked unconvinced. “Just be careful, Mads. Marcus isn’t in a good place at the moment. He’s a great guy, but I don’t think you staying here is the best idea.” She studied me for a moment, and I shifted uncomfortably. “What’s going on with you and Marcus?”

  “Nothing”- she raised an eyebrow and continued to stare at me prompting me to continue, - “honestly, there’s nothing going on. I stayed here after being out with Kelly a little while back. We got talking, and it was fun. He’s easy to talk to - we just had a laugh. We’ve swapped a few messages. Cheering him up makes me happy, and there’s nothing more in it. Honestly!”

  The door opened again, and Kelly walked in. She smiled brightly when she saw Lena and came to join us. By the time Lena left and Kelly headed to work, I was feeling much happier. I’d give it a few days to try and sort out my thoughts, and then I’d speak to Christian. Maybe Lena was right and I’d misunderstood the message. Whatever had happened, I needed to speak to him.

  I wanted to kill him. I wanted to hunt Christian down and beat him to within an inch of his life for the stupid stunt that he’d pulled with Maddie. Who does that to someone else? It was clearly about control and nothing to do with his desire for a family or his apparent love for her. I was glad that he’d been stupid enough to cheat on her: hopefully Maddie would have more sense than to go anywhere near him again.

  I knew that my own feelings were colouring my view of the situation, but, whichever way you looked at it, the guy clearly had issues. That was some messed-up shit.

  Maddie had been quiet the first few days that she’d stayed with us, hiding out in her room and trying to be as invisible and inconspicuous as possible. It was a Thursday night and I was sitting downstairs on the sofa. Kelly was at Carl’s house again - this was slowly becoming the norm - and Maddie was upstairs in her room. I picked up my phone:

  Die of boredom or exhaustion…not sure which would be worse

  What’s causing the exhaustion? If you’re shovelling coal in a dirty, stinky mine, then I’ll choose boredom, but, if you’re riding the pleasure train and your heart gives out, then I think I’d choose the latter…

  The pleasure train?!

  I laughed to myself and heard her walking down the stairs.

  “I take it you’re bored?” she asked as she walked into the living room. “How come you haven’t gone out?”

  “I can’t be bothered,” I responded honestly. The thought of going to a bar and picking up a random didn’t interest me in the slightest. “No pleasure train for me tonight.” I smirked at her, and she burst out laughing.

  “I’m just going to get some water. You want anything?” she pointed towards the kitchen.

  “Sure, can you grab me a beer?”

  She stood by the sink to drink her water before rinsing out her glass, drying it and putting it away. She’d never struck me as being a neat freak. This house was probably driving her crazy. Then she opened the fridge to bring my beer to me. I watched her as she chewed her lip, and her eyes flicked towards the door to leave again as if she was ready to leave again.

  “Chill out, Cinders. Do you really like to fuss as much as you do, or are you trying to be the perfect guest? There’s no need, you know. Leaving a glass in the sink isn’t going to get you your marching
orders. You’re not on probation here. And stop looking towards the door - you’re not escaping to your room, either! You can stay here and watch a film or something. You don’t need to keep hiding away or trying to be invisible.”

  I thought she might be annoyed or upset, but I watched as she visibly relaxed.

  “Cinders?”

  “Cinderella, which, incidentally, makes me and Kelly the ugly sisters – I’m not happy with that - so chill with the crazy cleaning so we can all relax.”

  “Yeah, well, Cinderella would be a good role model for me right now.”

  “Really? You mean to tell me you like the crazy OCD cleaning rituals?”

  She laughed and shook her head. “I mean the girl wanted a night when she could feel pretty and escape reality – I can relate to that.”

  She smiled ruefully, and, for just a split second, I almost voiced my crazy thought to take her out for the night - not on a date – just for her to have the chance to escape and dress up as she’d said.

  She continued to speak, saving me from yet more stupidity where she was concerned.

  “I just…are there any rules? …with regard to the house and cleaning…is there anything I should know?”

  “Rules?” I looked at her as if she was crazy. I thought Christian was an uptight arsehole, and clearly I was correct. He must have been a nightmare to live with.

  “Mads, we’re all adults. Do what you like. If it’s something I don’t like, I’ll say.”

  “You promise?” Her voice dropped lower, and she concentrated on her fingers as she picked at invisible fluff on her trousers. “I know I can be difficult to…”

  I cut her off, getting annoyed, knowing that she was about to say something that was going to piss me off. I didn’t know why it bugged me so much, but it did. “I promise, though I’m sure I’ll have no reason to. Now, you wanna watch a film?”