I shake my head, recalling the few laughs I witnessed from him.
“No, I didn’t. Joey said something that—”
“What I mean is, there is no way Harvey would have even been in a group date situation in the first place without you. The most social he’s been with the guys is to pop into a bar for a drink every once in a while. He sometimes hangs out with us as a group, but he looks forced upon and annoyed. It isn’t until the end of the night that he loosens up a little.”
“That group date wasn’t my doing. You guys didn’t even give him a chance to say no—”
“We’ve tried multiple times to get him to open up, to get him to go out with us. He rarely does. Sometimes he will say yes, and then never show up. Even Teagan couldn’t manage to lock him down half the time.”
I purse my lips at how rude that is, but I’m not surprised.
“So? What does this have to do with anything?”
“Oh, right, sorry. I got sidetracked. What I’m saying is, I don’t know much about Harvey, but what I do know is the man can handle himself. He’s not infallible—I get that—but he’s smart, driven, and stubborn. So, you might as well stop fighting this fight, because you won’t win. He’s not going anywhere.”
I shake my head, not even sure how to not fight what is happening. If I don’t at least try, how will I live with myself if something happens to him?
“How am I supposed to go about my life when everything I touch becomes tainted? My mom had to leave the country to get away from my dad. My employee, an innocent young woman, is dead. My restaurant is a crime scene. And Harvey …” I sigh, not sure what the hell Harvey is, except a dead man walking, apparently.
She shifts her hand and places it gently on my leg. This time, the touch doesn’t make me want to puke. Progress, right?
“Life is messy and hard. And right now, everything seems bleak. Maybe it’ll feel that way for a while. But, soon this will get sorted out and you will be able to put it behind you. You can’t stop living because things get hard.”
“Will you still feel that way if Donny comes after the rest of you? After your son or daughter?” I ask unfairly, then wince when Ava blanches. “Sorry, I’m not saying he will. Shit.” I drop my head into my hands, reprimanding myself.
Ava is trying to help me, is trying to calm me down, and I bring up her family in that way? What is wrong with me?
“It’s okay.” Ava pulls my hands down from my face and gives me a small smile. “Honestly, I would invite him to try. Zander would strike him dead before he ever got near us,” she says with such conviction that I feel a slight easing in my stomach.
Zander does look like a scary motherfucker. Even Donny would definitely think twice.
“Look, I know today has been shit, and emotions are stressed and all over the place. I just want you to know that you have people you can talk to. Any of us will be happy to listen if you need us. Anytime.”
I try to muster a small smile, unsure if I could ever take her up on this offer. I have never been one to open up like that. I’m more the type to bottle that shit up.
“Thanks,” I tell her, hoping she doesn’t push.
“And we’re not just saying that because of Harvey. We like you a lot, Nix.”
I nod, looking up just in time to see a figure at her door, ripping it open before Ava is manhandled out.
I quickly shoot out of the passenger side, afraid of who could have her. As soon as I’m on my feet, though, I see it’s just Zander.
He is wrapping her in a tight hug while scolding her, looking relieved to have found her safe and sound.
“You scared the shit out of me! What the hell were you thinking? You want me to have a heart attack?” he snaps, but it’s a little ruined by his constant kisses between words.
“You’re being dramatic. We didn’t even leave the building,” she draws attention to, not at all perturbed by the giant man who is growing redder as he splutters.
“I didn’t know that! The roads are fucked, and you promised you wouldn’t do this to me again, not when it’s dangerous.”
“I know, which is why we never left the building.”
“God, you’re frustrating,” he groans before kissing her long and deep enough that I sure as hell feel awkward.
I glance around us, but none of the other guys are here.
“I’ll just …” I trail off, glancing back over to the lift before Ava pulls me up short.
“Don’t you go anywhere! We’re not finished yet!” she shouts, her voice echoing loudly around us.
“We are,” I tell her, and she looks instantly hurt. “Like you said, life doesn’t stop moving, right?”
“But—”
“Don’t worry, Ava. You talked, and I listened. I also took it in,” I promise, still not sure what I’m supposed to do with what she said.
She’s right about Harvey. He isn’t just going to let this go. He will still come to the restaurant. He will still be waiting outside every night I close. And chances are, he will still come home with me each night, even if I do remove sex from the table. So, what exactly would I be saving him from?
When I smile at her in hopes of easing her clear concern, she scoots past Zander to make her way in front of me.
“You’re not breaking up with Harvey?” she confirms.
“No.”
Her shoulders relax, and she smiles. “You’ll come up to the apartment, then? We have some leftovers and—”
“No,” I bark, anxiety eating at me just picturing myself going back into that apartment, especially after the scene I helped create.
Her hopeful smile drops immediately.
“Not today,” I soothe. “But definitely another time. I just need some space today.”
She nods now, understanding. “You won’t be a stranger, right?”
“Right. How about once the restaurant is …?” I wince, thinking about Lola again and remembering exactly how I found her. I try to think past it, forcing it to the back of my mind. “Once we’re open, bring the girls in for lunch. You can overshare with me and tell me about all the penises you want,” I offer, grateful when she bursts out laughing.
When she pulls me in for a quick hug, I know, no matter what happens in my life, Ava just forged a bond between us. I will forever have a soft spot for her.
I seriously hope I won’t be forced to regret that one day. I hurt enough people in my life.
“You want me to send Harvey down here?” Zander asks.
I nod, realizing I don’t have my cell phone and have no idea where it is. Did I leave it at the restaurant? At the police station? Did I even go to a police station?
He whips out his phone, moving his arm around Ava when she steps back beside him. He then tells Harvey we are on level three of the parking garage.
I worry about how I will feel seeing him, worried his touch will send panic through me again. However, when he rushes down the stairs, apparently too impatient for the lift, and sprints over to us, wrapping me up in a hug so tight that I fall back against Zander’s car, I feel protected. Realizing this, a handful of stray tears pool down my face, which I quickly bury into his shoulder.
Harvey and I are of similar height, with Harvey just an inch taller than me, but with him leaning me against the car, his whole body surrounding me and shielding me from the world, I feel dwarfed by him.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him, my voice hoarser than ever, as well as muffled.
He holds me tighter.
I feel like an idiot crying in a parking garage, but when I lift up to face him, Harvey doesn’t look like he’s embarrassed by my outburst. Instead, he pulls away from me enough to look into my eyes, lifting his hand up to my chin so I have no choice but to reciprocate the stare.
“No, I’m sorry. I could tell you were in shock, and I should have known you didn’t want to do a crowd, even a small one. I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted to get to the others and demand they pull every fucking favor they had. I want to bury O’Ne
al so fucking deep in his shit that there is no way something doesn’t stick to him this time.”
“This isn’t their fight,” I say, thinking it isn’t Harvey’s fight, either.
“It is, because it’s my fight and because they’re my friends. I’ve helped them out of binds before. Now it’s time they step up.”
I glance over to Ava and Zander to see what they think, but they are no longer here.
“Can you take me home?” I ask.
“Of course. But forget your shitty apartment. Tonight, we’re sleeping at my place.”
I nod, wishing I could see Harvey’s home under different circumstances. I let it go and just let him lead me up the ramp, walking me back out onto the street and toward his car.
He wraps an arm around my shoulders, keeping me close while he scans the street.
What I should do with him? How can I keep him safe when I don’t even know how to keep myself safe?
What is going to happen to us? Is there any way we can get out of this unscathed?
Chapter 15
The next morning, I am lying in Harvey’s bed after a day that I don’t really want to remember. Not only did I have to deal with what happened to Lola, and then what happened at Ava and Zander’s home, but when I got to Harvey’s apartment, I had to contact every employee to let them know what happened and that the restaurant will be closed for the next few days, at the very least. I also had to deal with suppliers, my insurance company, as well as the toughest phone call of all—speaking to Lola’s grandmother. It was a new form of torture, especially when she informed me Lola had a four-year-old son. I basically slipped into a coma after that awful talk as guilt ate away at my insides.
Harvey managed to get Scarlett to leave messages with any customers who had bookings with us, canceling them. It meant a lot of people had shitty Christmas Day’s, but none as awful as Lola’s family.
I think back to all the interactions I had with her, all the times I could have asked her more about her life and never did. I always thought she was a good worker, always eager to pick up extra shifts. She was my night Scarlett, yet I appreciated how she was nothing like Scarlett.
She never pried into my life, and I never cared to inquire about hers. I had no idea she was struggling to support a kid. No idea she had a day job, as well as working five nights a week at the restaurant. No idea that, when she made mistakes, it was probably because she was exhausted. And when she lost her temper easily, it was because she was struggling. I just had no idea.
After slipping back into my funk, I couldn’t get myself to not make it obvious something was wrong when Mom called. Harvey completely saved the day, covering for me and chatting away with her like nothing was wrong. Then he held me as I stared into space on his bed, and I robotically ate when he forced food in front of me.
Now, as a new day dawns, I still feel like crap. I’m still upset, worried, and freaking out. I’m also wondering what the hell I dropped on Harvey yesterday.
He’s known me for just over a week, yet I have been so much drama, as well as emotional. I don’t even think gossip websites would want a part of me, let alone a quiet man who prefers to keep to himself.
I stare at my cell phone by the bed, hating it with a passion. I apparently handed it over to Harvey yesterday. That’s when he saw the text message Donny had sent. It was sent from an untraceable burner phone, no doubt long destroyed before Harvey could look into it.
Since then, it’s been ringing constantly, enough for Harvey to put it on silent, not that the vibrating doesn’t grate on my nerves just as much.
Thankfully, every call or message has been friendly.
Nothing from Donny … yet.
Harvey is off making me breakfast after holding me tightly all night.
I just don’t get it. Harvey is hot, sweet, funny, smart, has a great job, and after taking a proper glance around his apartment, he has good taste. Why the hell is he slumming it with me?
I live in a shit box, I barely have time for a boyfriend, and I come with enough family baggage that I make a luggage store look quaint.
I’m no catch, while Harvey is basically perfect.
I push myself to sit up, then push the one blanket off before glancing down at myself. I’m only in sweatpants that belong to Harvey. That’s it. And I am not at risk of freezing my dick off being in his apartment, despite the heavy snowfall outside.
After years of freezing winters, it’s easy to forget this is what a normal apartment should feel like. I really do need to branch out and start looking for a new place.
I turn the sound on my phone back on, just in case Mom calls again, and then I slowly make my way out of the bedroom to find Harvey standing over the stove in his immaculate kitchen. The food he’s cooking calls to my stomach. I’m certain his neighbors hear the grumble I emit.
“Nice place,” I say, sitting down in front of a placemat at the dining room table that looks into the kitchen.
Harvey turns to look at me, and when his glance includes a head-to-toe scan with heated eyes, I shiver.
“Thanks. You sure you’re not too hot with the heating? I could turn it off so you’ll feel more at home, freezing your ass off.”
“Shut up,” I grumble, resting my elbows on the table so I can hold my head up in my hands and watch him work.
There are a few moments of peace, but then Harvey ruins it.
“I got a call from a detective earlier.”
I frown as I feel my okay mood getting buried. “Yeah?”
He is coming toward me, holding a plate piled high with bacon, scrambled eggs, and strips of toast, plus a mug of steaming coffee. “He said forensics are done with the restaurant. I called a cleanup crew. They’re going to … well, clean up.”
“Thanks for organizing that,” I tell him, my mouth feeling dry and my appetite long gone.
I pick up the mug to wet my mouth, but the smell of coffee takes me back to yesterday morning.
I quickly place the mug back down without it ever touching my lips, not sure I will ever be able to have coffee without thinking about Lola, the smell and taste now intertwined with seeing her body. However, Harvey went to the trouble of preparing me food, so I thank him and commit myself to eating as much as I can stomach.
“They want you to go down later to make an official statement.”
I nod again, only able to take a few bites before I begin to feel queasy.
“And I hate to do this, but I need to duck out for an hour or so. Zander called a meeting. We’re going to get started on figuring out O’Neal. I don’t want to delay, and hopefully, once we find something that sticks, he’ll cop to the murder, as well.”
I drop my knife and fork and lean back. Just the smell of food is making me sick.
“Nix?” Harvey asks me worriedly.
I give myself a couple breaths to try to calm down.
“Sounds like a good plan,” I finally manage to get out.
“You need to eat more.” He frowns at me and then the plate of food.
“I … I just don’t feel so good.”
He looks like he’s going to argue, but then he shuts his mouth and grabs my plate and fork, piling the food into his mouth.
“When do I need to be at the police station?” I ask, speaking softly as I work hard at keeping my newly eaten food down.
“They offered to come here, but we need to get a copy of the police report for your insurance company, so I said we’d see them later this afternoon.”
I nod just as my cell phone blasts from the bedroom.
I race inside, terrified it’s Donny, but see it’s Mom. Given we bullshitted through a conversation just yesterday, I’m not sure why she is calling again so soon.
Has something happened?
“Mom, is everything okay?” I ask, clearing my throat so my voice will come out stronger and clearer.
“I don’t know; you tell me,” she snaps.
I’m taken aback by her tone. She sounds angry, and I worry
she got wind of what happened with Lola.
“I’m going to need more to go on,” I tell her, eyeing Harvey and giving him a shrug when he frowns.
“Your Instagram page says you are closed for a few days. You never close.”
I close my eyes, asking myself how I’m going to get out of this one. If Mom gets a whiff of trouble, she will be on the first available flight back out here and back into danger.
“I know. We’re having some issues with our meat order. The company we were going through had a crisis, so we have no food coming until after New Year’s, and a couple of my chefs quit,” I lie.
“What! And they let you know Christmas Day!” she fumes, outraged on my behalf.
“Yeah, I wasn’t thrilled. But Harvey has some time off and he suggested we spend it together. Besides, you are always saying I need to take some time off for myself,” I say, hoping any of this is believable and that the Harvey comment will distract her from thinking about my excuse too hard. Like, to question how there is possibly a meat supply issue, and why I can only deal with one supplier, and why no other restaurants are announcing closures due to this.
Shit, what if she looks up our local news online? The murder will surely be in there.
“Fly over here! You can spend time in the sun with me!”
That offer is far more tempting than it has ever been before, but unfortunately, not at all possible.
Not only do I need to stay in Chicago because of Dad, but now the police will need me to hang out in case there are more questions.
“Mom, that is hardly romantic. Besides, Harvey has a bunch of things for us planned,” I bullshit, already knowing what her next question is going to be and knowing I’m going to fail at being able to answer it.
How do I get myself into this shit?
“What things?” she predictably asks.
“Umm …” I draw a blank and give Harvey a panicked look.
When he waves the phone over to him, I eagerly pass it off.
“Mrs. Conway … Right, Nina. It’s good to hear from you … Yes, I’m looking after him … Well, I can’t say right now; he’s standing next to me and I want it to be a surprise … I don’t know about that. Your son is the catch …”
I Broke Into His Office (Love at First Crime Book 4) Page 19
