I wanted to giggle. If he thought I’d let him touch me in that way he had another thing coming. Chad didn’t know I was having marriage problems. As of a few days ago, neither did I. Of all the places I shouldn’t have been, it was here, right now with Chad. Grayson expected me to be home, sobbing my life away. Instead, I was about to have a beautiful meal, and discuss the possibility of a new project.
With nothing else going right in my life, I had to keep my game face on. I let him lead us through the restaurant to our seats. He pulled out the chair for me, waiting for me to sit before taking his own. “Thanks. You can be yourself, Chad. I’ve been around you enough. I remember when you were just a kid running around the office.”
He spread his napkin on his lap before ordering a bottle of wine from the waiter. I smiled and followed his lead, lifting the menu up to read. “Do you come here often?” I asked.
“It’s my favorite actually. My mom used to bring me here when I was little, before she got sick.”
Chad had lost both parents before the age of thirteen. His mother, Charles’ oldest daughter, died of Leukemia. His father had been killed when Chad was only five in a severe accident. I remembered hearing Charles talking about it once. Foul play had been involved, but the case was closed shortly after, and the police never explain why. When the boy’s mother got sick, they moved in with her parents. After she died, Charles and his wife gained custody. He’d been with them ever since.
I knew it was better to change the subject. “What should I order?”
“What do you like?”
“To tell you the truth, I’m so hungry I could eat just about anything. It’s been a rough couple of days.”
He snickered and watched as the waiter brought a bottle of red to the our table and began to pour it. “I bet.” He sipped at his drink. “I should have asked if you ate meat. I couldn’t remember.”
“I eat meat. I don’t have diet restrictions. I’m a mom, remember?”
I tasted the wine, letting it swish around on my palate before swallowing. “Yeah, what’s that like, raising a step-child? Was it hard at first?”
This was an easy answer. “It was a tough transition at first. Stephanie’s biological mother was clinically insane. After she committed suicide, it was easier to gain her trust. I think in a lot of ways, she needed me to get through her loss. We’ve been close ever since.”
“You never wanted kids of your own?” His questions were quite personal. We’d never been friendly in the office. In my opinion, I’d say he knew I disliked him, yet having a conversation about anything other than my husband’s infidelity was acceptable. “I can’t have children. It’s a long story I’m sure you’re not interested in.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” He downed his first glass of wine. “I suck at small talk.”
“It’s okay,” I replied. “It’s kind of weird being here together, for a business meeting of course. I mean,” I had to correct my statement. “I’m not used to dinners about work.”
He smiled again and traced the edges of his wine while the waiter came over and refilled both of our glasses. “Are you nervous being here with me?”
“No. Of course not.” It was obvious I answered way too fast. He smiled before addressing the waiter with his order. I decided to have the same, and thanked the gentlemen as he took our menus and walked away. “I’m not uncomfortable. If we’re going to be working together we need to discuss things.”
“I get the feeling you can’t stand me.”
“You did barge into my house yesterday. I’ve never been paid a personal visit.”
“I’m not talking about yesterday, Rachel. You’ve never liked me. Be honest. It’s okay. I’ll just have to work harder to convince you I’m not a monster.”
“I never said you were.”
“Ladies love me, Rachel. It’s not a secret. I’m sure you seen them fawning over me. It’s probably for the money, but I’d like to think I have more than my family fortune to offer.”
This was the cocky Chad I knew and loathed. “I think it’s best if we get to business. I have some ideas I want to run by you.”
I sat there drinking my wine and explaining how I wanted to keep the agency open for our clients. I offered to run the whole division, where he wouldn’t have to get his hands into it at all. I even explained how I didn’t have the money to buy him out, but I would work my ass off to make sure it was profitable. Money was money. If he had me running the old company, he could focus on his new project. If he failed, he’d have something to fall back on. His family name would remain intact. He had nothing to lose.
“My grandfather suggested the same thing, but said it would be too much for you to take on.”
“Trust me, it’s not. I can devote one-hundred percent of my time to this job if you give me the chance. It’s a win-win.”
He sat there for a moment thinking to himself. “You want to devote all of your time to this? Have you spoken with your husband? I’m sure he doesn’t want you working that far away at all hours of the night. Granted, it won’t be every night, but still, problems happen.”
“What my husband wants isn’t my problem.” I finished my second glass of wine. Just hearing him being addressed made me want to run out of the restaurant, take a cab home, and drown my sorrows in whatever alcohol I could find. “He’s not staying with me at the moment.”
“Since when? I saw you together at the company picnic.”
“Since a few days ago,” I answered. “Since the day I found out the company was shutting it’s doors.”
Chad adjusted the way he was sitting. “Man, I’m sorry. That explains why you were so upset the other day. You should have said something.”
I watched the waiter come over and immediately fill my glass. I wanted to tell him to stop, but I needed the alcohol, especially now when my life’s drama was out on the table for the little prick to pick at. I took a few fast sips before continuing. “I couldn’t say anything. It hadn’t sunk in yet.”
“Did you kick him out?” He immediately threw up his hands. “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business, and it’s certainly not why I asked you to have dinner. I’m bad at that. My mother used to call me Nosey Nelly. That or Tattle Tail. You could say I was a little shit stirrer.”
I smiled, appreciating him being comfortable talking about his own childhood experiences, instead of prying into my life. To be honest, he was the only person I’d been able to talk to since this started happening. It wasn’t like I could call one of mine and Grayson’s mutual friends and tell them what we were going through. I wasn’t sure I wanted anyone important to us to know. I hadn’t even told our daughter. “I caught him with another woman in our house that day.” My confession wasn’t easy to get out, and it was just as difficult watching Chad react to it.
“What the hell? Are you serious? You actually caught him?”
I nodded. “Yep.” It wasn’t hard to finish off another glass of red. The more I drank, the less I felt.
“Tell me you didn’t know her, Rach.” He seemed genuinely concerned. “Say she wasn’t a friend of yours.”
“She’s my daughter’s best friend.” My eyes began to sting. I knew I had to excuse myself to the restroom, because I was about to lose it in front of the whole restaurant. “Sorry. I’ll be right back.”
Once inside, I entered a stall and locked the door. Toilet paper wasn’t as soft as my aloe treated tissues, but it did the job. My makeup was running down my cheeks, and all I wanted to do was go home. I’d ruined the business meeting. What Chad thought had been small talk had caused me to lose my shit. I couldn’t face him. It was embarrassing that I’d blabbed to him in the first place. It only made me feel more desperate.
After a few minutes I came out and started washing my face. I never expected him to come looking for me. “You okay?”
“What are you doing in here?”
“I made you cry. I had to make sure you weren’t falling apart.”
“Too late. I�
��m a mess.”
He smiled and handed me a paper towel. “Do you want to get out of here?”
“I want to remain focused, so we’re able to talk about the business, but I’m afraid it’s just too soon. I can’t keep it together. Every little reminder sparks the emotions. I’m a freaking mess.”
Then Chad did something that shocked me. He pulled me into a hug and held me there. I didn’t wrap my arms around him, but I also didn’t back away. I needed this type of support. I needed to feel like I wasn’t alone, even if we were standing in the ladies room of a reputable eatery. As inappropriate as it was, I couldn’t move.
He held me for a few minutes, until a female came in to use the facilities. He looked me straight in the eyes and spoke. “I’m going to get our food boxed up. Wait here. I’ll come get you when the car is out front.”
I nodded and watched him leave me. It wasn’t the time or place to act this way, but I couldn’t help it. The wine was making it worse. I rarely drank, and one glass was my limit. I didn’t think I was slurring words, but I also wasn’t in any condition to handle myself in an appropriate manner.
Within five minutes he was back in the restroom, offering me his arm to escort us out of the establishment. We didn’t speak until we were in the car.
“I never should have pried, Rachel. I’m sorry I got you upset.”
“You didn’t. It’s not your fault my husband had an affair. It’s not your fault I wasn’t good enough for him.”
Did I really say that out loud?
“I’m still sorry for bringing it up. Let’s get you home. We can talk about work when things settle down.”
“No. I need this job, Chad. You don’t understand. My marriage might be over. I need to have my own income. Please, if you have any heart at all, you won’t turn me away. I’m desperate. I’ll do anything you need. Just say you’ll think about it.”
His jaw kept clenching, but he didn’t respond. We took the beltway home, cutting the travel time in half. When we pulled up in my driveway I expected him to drop me off and pull away, but Chad didn’t do that at all. He jumped out and helped me to my feet. Then he grabbed the food containers and followed behind me.
“Is it okay if I eat before I leave? I’m not a douche, but I can’t eat pasta in my car while I’m driving.”
“Sure, if you don’t mind my sniffles, or the possibility of me going homicidal.”
“Nah, you’re good. I’ve been around enough women to know how it is.”
Right, because he was manwhore. How could I forget? One day he’d be married and cheat on his wife, like Grayson had done to me.
I headed up to my room to change out of the ridiculous dress I thought I’d looked sexy in. Now I felt like a big fat mess. Chad would never respect me. He’d never see me as his equal or more. My chances of continuing the agency were probably next to none, yet I couldn’t tell him to leave. The truth was, I didn’t want to be alone. I’d rather share a meal with someone I’d thought of as the enemy than sit alone in my home – the home my husband had fucked another woman in.
That’s how pathetic I was.
Chapter 9
Rachel
I’d definitely had too much to drink. Weighing in at a buck twenty, my small figure couldn’t handle alcohol. I never could. Like the bourbon had done the day before, I was starting to feel exhausted.
I knew I couldn’t pass out on my bed with company still downstairs, so I quickly tried to lift the dress over my head in order to change and get back to him. Unfortunately, the fastener got stuck in my hair. I yanked, willing to pull out strands to rectify the situation. The more I tugged, the more increasingly tangled it became.
This was just my luck. I managed to make it into the bathroom blindly. I fished around for the vanity drawer and felt for the pair of scissors. Once I had them in my hand, I tried my best to cut my way free. The dress was so tangled up, it was almost to my scalp. Never in my entire life had something like this occurred.
I took a chunk out of the dress, discovering afterwards I was still attached to another part of it. For the love of God! This is horrible.
When I tried to lower the dress back on, it only seemed to pull more hair. I sank down on the marble floor and began to growl out profanities. What was I to do? Did I yell downstairs for Chad to finish and find his way out? Did I dare ask him, of all people, to come upstairs and help me? The idea of it made me hate myself.
A man’s voice startled me. It was low and apologetic. “You okay in there?”
Chad was standing outside of my bedroom. He was being respectful while checking on my condition. He’d probably heard me losing my cool. “You’re going to laugh if I tell you what I’ve done.”
“I promise not to laugh. I heard you yelling. I’m not comfortable being in this part of your house, but if you were in trouble I’d never forgive myself.”
“Oh for shit’s sake,” I whispered under my breath. “Just come in and help me. I’ve already made a fool out of myself. It can’t get any worse than this.”
It was good I couldn’t see his reaction when he walked into the bathroom and found me in my predicament. I did hear a slight laugh before I felt his hands examining the problem. “How the hell did you do this?”
“If I knew, I’d be able to get out of it.”
“Did you cut off a piece?”
He’d obviously seen it on the floor. “I was trying to get free without having a bald spot. Can you please just hurry up. I’ve never felt more embarrassed in my life. I promise I won’t bother you ever again. You can forget about the business deal. I know when to give up, and if this isn’t a sign then I don’t know what is.”
Finally, I felt the fabric loosening. Chad lifted the rest off my head. The first thing I noticed was the way he was taking in my body. I quickly covered myself with my arms. “Turn around.”
“Sorry. I couldn’t help it. I’m a man, and you, well you have a great body, Rach. You’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about. When I said your husband was a fool, I meant it.”
He was quiet for a second, so I turned to look in his direction. He licked his lips and gave me a once over again. “I’m not someone you can fawn over, Chad. Get out of my bathroom.”
“Can’t a guy get a thanks?”
“Thank you and goodbye. It’s best if you leave now. I’ve had enough embarrassment for a lifetime.” In all honesty, I wanted to fill up my bathtub, take a bottle of bourbon, and drink until I sank to the bottom and ran out of air. This was devastating.
I backed Chad out of my room, but he never turned away from looking at me. Before I shut the door in his face, he reached out and stroked the side of my face. “Thanks for the good time, Rach. I think we’re going to make a great team.”
I was appalled. I stood there speechless as he turned and walked down the stairs. While I scrambled to dress and lock the door once he’d gone, I was shocked by the doorbell ringing. I pulled on a pair of cotton shorts I ran in, and a tank top, just to be clothed enough to answer it.
When I walked downstairs I was aware it wasn’t going to be Grayson or Stephanie. They both had a key. I wondered if my husband had sent me flowers, but then again it was getting late, and I was pretty sure the delivery company didn’t work past a certain hour.
I found Chad standing in the foyer. He was smiling when he saw me, once again checking out my body inappropriately. I rolled my eyes and headed to the door, determined to kick him out, and reject whoever was on the other side.
I never would have expected to see her standing there, hands on her hips, like she owned the place. “We need to talk,” Kyla addressed while barging in.
I slammed the door shut, forgetting I already had company. She gave him a curious look before continuing into the living room. “Where do you think you’re going, Kyla. You’re not welcome here.”
“I don’t give a shit what you say to me. You need to know I’m not giving up on him. I love him, and I know he loves me too. He’s wanted me for years. When he
came onto me I didn’t stop him. I loved every moment of it. We fucked in every single room of this house. He’s mine, Rachel. He doesn’t want you anymore, so stop trying to convince him otherwise. He’s moved on.”
Was she serious? Had she come into my home to threaten me?
“You need to get out, before I make you leave.” I wasn’t about to cry in front of her. She didn’t deserve the energy. “If you and Grayson want each other so be it. I’m not trying to get him back. I don’t want anything to do with either of you. You both used me and lied. I’ll never forgive you. Now, if you don’t leave right now, I will be forced to remove you from my home with force. I can promise you, it won’t be pretty. You see, I’ve got nothing left to lose, so I don’t care if I have to spend time in prison. I’d sit in that cell with a smile on my face knowing what I did to get you to leave.”
She huffed and puffed, and finally stood to exit. “Who are you?” She asked Chad? “Is he your pool boy? Have you moved on so soon? Wait until Grayson hears his precious wife is fucking around with someone else.”
“Screw you, little bitch!” I said while clenching my fists. In all my life, I’d never harmed another human being. I was a lover, not a fighter, but this bitch had pushed me to my limit.
“Bitch, get the fuck out of my face. Who I am is none of your damn business. You heard the lady, get the hell out,” Chad responded adamantly. His eyes were stricken with rage, and I couldn’t remember ever seeing him so offended. Maybe the idea of being with someone like me was repulsive to him. I didn’t even mind, because he was giving her hell, and I liked hearing it.
“Fuck you both! He’s mine, bitch. Just remember that.” Kyla announced as she slammed the door behind her.
In that moment of despair I simply lost it. I collapsed down on the floor and began to sob uncontrollably. I didn’t give a shit who was still in my house. I didn’t care if he thought I was an ugly hag and wanted to run far away from my madness. I just didn’t care about anything.
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