Bereft

by Jennifer Foor

  Chad surprisingly made his way over to where I was. He lifted me up and carried me over to the couch. Once I was situated, he sat down beside me. The two glasses from our bourbon were still there. “Where’s the liquor cabinet?” He asked.

  I pointed without speaking, then watched him get up and retrieve a bottle of something. I didn’t care if it was special to Grayson. As far as I was concerned, Grayson could choke on his own tears and die. He’d destroyed me. Everything about my life was a mess. I was tired of crying, being fragile, and feeling as if I had nothing left to lose. I was exhausted, ready to give up.

  Chad handed me a glass. “Drink it.”

  “What is it?”

  “It doesn’t matter. You need it.” He downed his own glass. “Jesus Christ this is fucked up. So that’s her?”

  “Yep. That’s her.”

  Chad patted on my knee. “She’s a piece of shit. You should have kicked her ass.”

  “I’m sure you would have liked the show.”

  “No. Actually, I wouldn’t have let you go after her. She’s not worth it. Chicks like that aren’t worth the energy. If your husband thinks she’s an improvement he needs a reality check. She’s trash, Rach. She’ll never be as good as you are. You have to know that. She disgraced herself. It’s obvious she’s insecure. He probably told her to get lost and this is her last attempt at destroying everything he cares about. I’ve dealt with broads like that bitch. I know it hurts, but you can’t let her get to you. She’s beneath you.”

  “Who are you and what have you done to the little prick I can’t stand?” I don’t know why I said it, especially after he’d been so kind to me.

  He chuckled at my comment. “It’s me. Sometimes what you see isn’t what you get. I was raised to respect people. You’re a brilliant, sophisticated woman. You deserve to be treated like one.”

  “Thank you,” I said with trembling lips. He made me feel like I had a reason to hope. “You don’t have to stick around. I know I’ve ruined your night. I’ll be fine. I’ll lock the doors and probably pass out.”

  He looked around the living room and into the open kitchen. “If it’s okay with you, I think I’ll stick around. If that bitch comes back you don’t need to get involved. We’ll call the police and let them handle it.”

  “I can’t ask you to do that. I’m sure you have other places to be.”

  “We need to be friends, Rach. A prick would walk out on a woman when she’s hurting. I’m trying to prove I’m not that guy.”

  “I have nothing to offer you, Chad. Nothing.”

  “I didn’t ask you for anything.”

  “I’m sorry she assumed you were my lover.” Just saying it made me embarrassed. He must have thought I was a crazy person. I was almost old enough to be his mother. There was at least twelve years between us in age.

  “I’ve been called worse. I think it offended you more than me. You’re a beautiful woman. Any man would be honored to be considered your lover. It’s all good.”

  “You’re being too nice. Maybe you could tone it down a bit. I’m starting to think you’re full of shit.”

  “I tell it like it is. If you were mine, I wouldn’t let you slip away. Beautiful girls are a dime a dozen, but you have brains and a heart. You’re not after a pot of gold. You’re real to a fault. I enjoy your company. It’s different than I’m used to. I think we’re going to get along just fine.”

  “Sure, now that you’ve seen me half-naked.”

  “Rachel, even if I saw you completely naked, my opinion wouldn’t change. Hell, I probably shouldn’t say this, and if you want to slap me it’s cool, but if you’re ever needing someone to help you get over him, or even a revenge fuck, I could be that guy. No strings. I’m not looking to get settled down right now. I don’t have time for a relationship. I’m telling you because I want you to know you’re worth it. Your husband made a huge mistake, I’m sure of it after seeing that crazy cat.”

  I almost laughed through my constant tears. “Thanks for the offer. I’m not interested in revenge. It would hurt me worse.”

  “Like I said before, I’m just putting it out there. Sex doesn’t have to mean something. It feels good. It’s for pleasure. You’re going to slap me now, aren’t you?”

  I shook my head. “No. I’m not. I’m flattered. But it’s still a no.”

  “Yeah, I figured. Why don’t you go upstairs and get some sleep. I’ll be fine on the couch. When you get up I’ll be gone. I’ve got an early morning appointment I can’t miss.”

  “Are you sure you want to stay?”

  “I’m cool. There’s pillows and a blanket. That’s all I need. Can I use your shower in the morning before I go? I’ve got a change of clothes in my car I keep.”

  “Sure. The towels are under the sink in the bathroom on this level.” I stood and turned to walk upstairs. “Chad, thank you. It’s been an awkward night. Even with your offers, I still feel safer because you’re here.”

  “Don’t mention it. My grandfather would kick my ass if I let shit happen to you on my watch. Try to get some rest. If you need anything just ask,” he snickered. “That includes physical favors.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry. Some parts of me can’t hold back. Your new haircut is sexy as shit. Goodnight, Rachel.”

  “Goodnight, Chad.”

  Chapter 10

  Grayson

  My drive home from the college was unbearable. My daughter hated me; that much I knew. She was adamant on me leaving, and I wasn’t sure how long it would take her to forgive me for what I’d done.

  It wasn’t just my betrayal. She was screwed over by her very best friend. We’d shared a secret from her. It was the ultimate disloyalty.

  Infidelity had led me down this path. Now I didn’t know what to do to remedy the situation. Once again, I tried calling my wife. No answer.

  I even attempted to contact my daughter. It went straight to voicemail. Both of my girls couldn’t stand the sight of me.

  When my phone rang I felt excited. I figured one of them was calling to say they wanted to talk. I didn’t care what direction I needed to turn the car in. I’d run to them if I had to.

  The number was unlisted, but I answered anyway. Rachel could have gotten her number changed, but decided to give it to me anyway. “Hello?”

  “Hey, baby it’s me. I took care of our little problem. You don’t have to worry about Rachel getting in our way any more. I know she’s the reason you don’t want to see me.”

  “What are you talking about? What did you do? If you harmed her at all you’ll be sorry.”

  “Calm down. I didn’t touch a hair on her body. I paid her a visit, and told her to leave us alone. We’re too connected to end things. We can be happy. She’ll be out of the picture and you me and Steph can be a family. It will be like old times.”

  What the hell was happening?

  “Kyla, listen to me. There is no us. What did you say to Rachel?”

  “I told her to leave us alone. She knows we fucked all over your house. She knows there’s not an inch of that house you didn’t have me in. Face it, Grayson, I’m all you have left. Rachel doesn’t want you. She told me I could have you. Now there’s no reason for us to be apart.”

  “You’re insane. Do you hear yourself? Even if Rachel hates me, I still won’t love you. I never have and I never will.”

  The line was quiet. “You’ll change your mind. You’ll miss me. I know you will. Give it a couple days. You’ll be begging to see me.”

  “No. I won’t. Stop calling me, Kyla. I’m having my number changed. This is ridiculous.”

  I was infuriated. She’d gone and screwed my life up worse. I didn’t even think it was possible.

  It was late, but I had to get to Rachel. She needed to know I hadn’t put Kyla up to the visit. She had to know she was a liar. Yes, we’d had sex in a lot of places, but there were things which needed to stay buried. Details would only hurt her more. I couldn’t deal with the agony of imaging what Rachel was going t
hrough.

  I drove fast, not even stopping when my gas light flickered on. My wife was hurting, and I was the only person who could help alleviate what she was feeling. I needed her to believe me. I needed her to still love me.

  I never expected to pull up to the house and see a car in the driveway, a Porsche at that. The tags were registered to a D.C. address, so I figured it was someone she worked with. Maybe she’d asked a girlfriend to come stay with her while she went through hell. Maybe she needed the support of a friend.

  I used my key to open the door. It was quiet and dark when I entered into the foyer. I sat my keys down on the small side table and went to turn on the light. When I did I got the shock of my life. A male, maybe a bit older than my daughter, was standing in front of me. “Who the hell are you?”

  “I’m assuming you’re the husband?”

  “You’re damn right I am.”

  “She doesn’t want to see you.”

  “Look, I don’t know who you are, but you need to tell me where my wife is.” I glanced up the stairs and yelled for her. “Rachel!”

  I could hear her walking around, so I turned my attention back to the guy. He was shirtless, his hair disheveled on top his head. “Who are you?”

  “A friend.”

  “Of who? Do you know Stephanie?”

  “No. I’m a friend of Rachel. Now, I’m telling you, it’s best if you leave. She’s had a rough night.”

  “I know. I heard. That’s why I’m here.”

  “Grayson?” I heard my wife ask. “What are you doing here?”

  “I live here.”

  The look on her face said it all. “I want you to leave. As you can see I’m fine.”

  “You heard the lady,” the young man added.

  I wasn’t taking shit from some young buck. “What are you doing in my house? Who are you? Are you fucking my wife now? Is that what this is? Are you paying me back?”

  “You would think that,” she uttered.

  “I want to know.”

  “She asked you to leave, dude.”

  I shoved the kid back. “Stay out of it. I don’t know who you are, but you need to be on your way. This is between me and my wife.”

  I turned back to Rachel, only to feel him shoving me this time. “What the…”

  “Grayson, please. Don’t do this. I asked him to stay.”

  “I don’t give a shit.” I pointed to the guy. “Get out now. I’m serious. One of us is leaving, and it isn’t me.”

  “He’s not going anywhere. I want him to stay. You’re the one who needs to leave.”

  “It’s been a few days. How could you replace me so soon? What’s gotten into you? This isn’t you talking. You wouldn’t be so careless.” Anger filled me. I didn’t know what my wife was up to, but I wasn’t going to allow her to push me away for another. If this was her revenge she knew exactly where to stab me. “Please. I just want to talk.”

  The guy took me by the arm, in my own house. I shook from his hold, turning around and swinging with all my might. “Don’t touch me! Keep your hands off me.”

  Rachel rushed to his side, staring up at me with tear-filled eyes. “You need to go. I don’t want to see you. You did this, not me. I’m just trying to cope the best way I know how. You have no right to tell me what to do anymore. You lost that when you slept with Kyla. She says you’re not over, so go be with her, because I certainly don’t want you anymore.” Her words were like a sheet of glass, shattering all around me. She’d changed her appearance, her hair was shorter, and it was obvious she’d been wearing makeup. A man half my age was apparently sleeping over. Were they involved? Did she run right into his arms? How long had they known each other?

  This was all my fault.

  What had I done to my beautiful wife? Had I caused her to make unjustly decisions just to get me back? Was this guy even a friend of hers to begin with?

  “Rachel, please. Don’t say that.”

  Her friend was starting to stand up. She stayed at his side. I shook my head and back stepped toward the door. “This is what you want?” I pointed to him.

  She nodded. “Just go. I can’t stand to look at you. You’ve made your bed, now go lie in it. I told you before, I’m not able to forgive you.”

  “Well, I can’t forgive you either.”

  “Screw you, Grayson. You ended our commitment to each other the moment you put your dick inside of another woman. You did this – all of it. Leave, before I say what I really want you to hear.” She looked right into my eyes. “You know what, I don’t even care how this feels for you. I.WANT.A.DIVORCE!”

  It was the last blow. She’d crushed me. Whoever the guy was, she obviously preferred his company instead of mine. I’d been her everything, and now I was like the garbage she wanted out of the kitchen. Nothing could mend her heart. Her mind was made up. If it hadn’t been before, Kyla had made sure of it.

  I’d ruined my life for meaningless sex. Aside from probably going to Hell, I’d lost hope of mending my marriage. Maybe it was too soon to push. Maybe I should have stayed away.

  Maybe I should have done a lot of things differently.

  I had to face the facts. My marriage was over, and there was nothing I could do to change it now.

  Chapter 11

  Rachel

  I watched my husband walk out the door and said nothing. I didn’t run after him and beg him to stop. I didn’t regret telling him I was through. I was numb, momentarily. I wanted him to see what he’d done and regret it for the rest of his life. He needed to know he’d done this to us, and that his actions had put me in this position. Grayson assumed I was romantically involved with Chad, and I didn’t correct him. It made me feel empowered over the situation. I had the upper hand, because instead of dwelling in sadness I’d picked up a hottie and brought him home to fuck mercifully until the name Grayson no longer existed.

  “Are you okay?” Chad asked while standing beside me.

  I turned and looked directly into his eyes. I knew it was wrong on so many levels, but I was brutally demolished when it came to my marriage. I needed reprieve, and I was desperate to do whatever that entailed. “Would you like to come upstairs with me?”

  “You know it’s a bad idea. Anger fucks are fun, but you’ll be hurting worse in the morning.”

  “I’m afraid there is no worse. It’s not possible. I’ve hit rock bottom.”

  “I’m not coming upstairs with you. It won’t help. I can distract you, but the pain will still exist.”

  I’d never touched another man besides my husband since we first began dating. Seeing this half-naked specimen in front of me, one who’d done nothing but compliment me, protect me even. I wasn’t worried about what would happen afterwards. I didn’t care if it was awkward, because I didn’t give a shit about anything anymore. My marriage was over. It was done. I wouldn’t get past an affair of this magnitude.

  “All I want to do is forget about everything for a little while. You can either come upstairs and help me out, or I’ll do it my damn self. The choice is yours.”

  “Rach, you’re mad. I get it. Once you cross that line, there’s no going back. I can live with it, but I’m afraid you won’t be able to. As much as I’d like to be the person to give a woman like you a good time, I need to say no. It’s for all the wrong reasons.”

  “But you said…”

  “I know what I said before,” he interrupted. “It’s different now. This shit is ridiculously complicated. I’m good with revenge, but I’m not okay with working next to you in the future and seeing the look in your eyes that I know you’ll give me. It can’t work.”

  It hurt. I’m not going to lie. Being rejected when I wanted nothing more than to relieve my frustrations. I knew Chad was right. Sleeping with him would be a mistake. The alcohol mixed with my emotions were causing me to make irrational decisions. I was angry, intolerable. I needed to justify my decisions before making them. “Fine.” I spun around and stormed up the steps, realizing I was going to sp
end the night alone, in the bed Grayson had fucked his little girlfriend in.

  I’d replaced the sheets, but after her little conversation, I couldn’t begin to imagine myself sleeping on that mattress. I immediately began to cry, taking my pillows and putting them on the carpeted floor. I’d rather sleep there, then feel like their love making was overwhelming me.

  I don’t know how long I bawled. Time wasn’t important. My life was in shambles. It was so pathetic I’d hit on my new boss; someone I’d hated for years. Now he was sleeping on my couch, worried about my well-being. I felt so confused.

  I laid there staring at the ceiling fan for a while. I thought about Grayson, and the things he’d said to me when I discovered his affair. I thought about Kyla, and how she’d contradicted a lot of it. Then I thought about Chad. I’d been wrong about him. There was more to him than a nice body and cocky smile. I didn’t know how I was going to face him after throwing myself out there. He must have been laughing the moment I walked away.

  I was glad he’d stuck around though. Grayson was shocked to see another man in our home. The idea of hurting him made me happy. I wanted him to suffer. I needed it to feel like his heart was being ripped from his chest. It was important for him to know he was replaceable. In my heart I didn’t feel that way, but I’d never lead on otherwise.

  A light knocking caused me to sit up. I knew it was Chad, and I suddenly wondered what I was going to say. I stood up and made my way over to the door, cracking it open. It was dark in the hallway. I could barely see his face. “Yes? Did you need something?”

  He cleared his throat, like he was giving himself a second to reconsider. “Can I come in?”

  “What for?” I inquired.

  “Look, you’re older. You’re married. It’s obvious you’re going through hell. Me being here is probably the worst idea, but I’m sitting downstairs and all I can think about is being close to you. I don’t give a shit if you hate me tomorrow. It won’t be the first one-night stand of my life. I can deal with it.” He paused for a minute. “The thing is, tonight at dinner, you looked beautiful. That dress, my God your legs went on forever.”