Bereft

by Jennifer Foor

  I heard him get out, and open the cabinets looking for a towel. I suppose I should have ran in and left him one on the counter, but I was too flustered to consider walking around with no clothes on, which was how we fell asleep.

  Chad came out of the bathroom, steam still lifting off his wet skin. He was wrapped in only a towel from the waist down, not that I needed to be reminded of what was hiding underneath. I was probably going to be sore for a few days because of it.

  I was surprised when he came over and climbed onto the bed, leaning over to brush the hair away from my face. “I need to get going.”

  “Okay.”

  “We should talk about that business plan soon. Let me know what day is good for you and we’ll set something up.”

  “Okay.” I realized I’d answered two questions in a row with the same response, but I was a little taken back.

  “You have my number to get in touch with me, right?”

  “Yeah, I’m pretty sure if I don’t it’s easy to get.” I sat up and tried to act professional. “Do you need me to come into the office today?”

  “No. That won’t be necessary. If I were you I’d take the rest of the week off. You’re going through a lot of shit, Rach. Get things figured out first. I’m going to need a fresh head on you when you return.”

  “I can’t promise a few days will fix everything that’s wrong in my life.”

  “Yeah, wishful thinking,” he said with a little chuckle. “Are we okay? I know last night was unexpected. I don’t want things to be weird between us.”

  “I don’t either, though I wouldn’t blame you if you did feel that way.”

  “I’m good. Last night was intense. I hope you got something out of it.”

  “You could say that.”

  He raised his brow and seemed to be studying my face. “I better get out of here. I have an early appointment I can’t miss.”

  He reached forward and kissed me on the cheek. The cheek. “I’ll see you soon.”

  I don’t know what I expected. I suppose I assumed he would go on and on about how last night was the best of his life, and he never expected to hit it off with me so well. I think I expected praise for being adventurous.

  It didn’t take me long to hate being in my house alone. I was tired of seeing the pictures hung on the walls and the memories we’d never get to make together again. I knew I had to get out. I had to keep my thoughts at bay with a new project.

  Even though Chad said to take a few days, I dressed and prepared to go into the office. The sooner we got everything up and running, the more work would be left on my plate, which meant more time I could spend away from my lonely house.

  I went through my contacts, setting up an afternoon appointment, which would include the company attorney and accountant. The lawyer firm didn’t deal with divorce. I was still too distraught to mentally deal with that kind of permanent fix, so it was a good thing.

  Chad would be surprised, probably a little pissed I overstepped, but it was important I made sure I still had a job to go to in the future. I was going to go ahead and get things set up, if he didn’t like it he could ream me out later.

  After my train ride, and a quick walk to the office, I entered with a set of goals in order. I’d made a plan up in my head, consisting of the amount of employees I’d like to keep for the agency, and a recommendation of qualified individuals who could work on Chad’s new project. I wanted to save as many jobs as possible. There were probably going to be a few people who were too bitter to consider returning. They’d been told their job was over. If they didn’t enjoy what they did, it was always a perfect excuse to find something else. For the people who invested years with the company, it was the break they needed. They’d be able to provide for their families.

  I wasn’t surprised the receptionist was on the phone when I walked on. She waved to me, not seeming like my being there was a shock. I headed toward my office, finding it in the same way I’d left it. The conference room door was closed. I wondered if Chad was inside with his grandfather Charles. I was curious to find out if he’d told him about my plan, or if after last night he was going to tell me to find another position at the loony bin.

  It took me a while to make some calls and prepare a spreadsheet to go along with my proposal. When I had it all complete I asked the receptionist to have Charles and Chad to meet me in the conference room.

  I sat patiently, trying not to picture him naked between my legs. As the thought slipped through my mind, I felt warmth rushing over my body. Then I saw him entering the room, his grandfather following behind him. While Charles was all smiles, Chad seemed to be annoyed. He gave me a once over, while his grandfather came over to kiss me on the cheek. “Rachel, it’s good to see you. Chad says you have something you want to talk to me about. I can already tell it’s going to be a good idea since it’s coming from you.”

  “I appreciate the vote of confidence. Why don’t you let me go over some things? I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve invited Joe Chambers and Kathryn Reston to join us in a bit, provided you want to proceed. We need to act fast, and I’ll explain why.”

  Chad still hadn’t said anything. I stood and slid a folder in his direction. He was sitting opposite of me, playing with his phone, as if I was taking away from something.

  I tried to ignore him and focus on Charles. I knew how much he loved his company, so the idea of salvaging it would delight him. While I ran through my ideas Chad remained silent. He didn’t comment or take notes like I would have. As a matter of fact, he was acting as if he wasn’t even in the room with us. At one point he was clearly watching a video on his phone, smiling as something funny happened.

  It made no sense to me, but I knew I had to stop worrying about it so much. I knew last night had been a mistake, but I refused to regret it. My painful life needed reprieve and I’d found it with him. So what if he was younger. I didn’t care. He was safe, and good at it. I enjoyed it immensely.

  Finally, after going through the entire presentation, Charles clapped his hands together. “I think we’ve got a good plan, Rachel. I didn’t think you’d want to take on such a large project, or else I would have suggested it before. I knew I was going to be retiring, and without Chad there wouldn’t be anyone willing to put in the time to keep the agency going. This pleases me.”

  “Good.” I turned my attention to Chad. “How do you feel about it?”

  He never looked up. “I told you last night it was a great idea.”

  That was all he would say.

  Charles and I had some small talk while we waited for the two individuals to join us. Chad stayed in the room, but said little about anything. He got up and made a few calls in between. I kept looking at him, hoping for a single sign of him glancing in my direction. It happened once for a brief second. My heart began to pound in my chest. I felt butterflies in the pit of my stomach and rush of flashbacks to our rendezvous.

  We spent three hours that afternoon strategizing and filling out paperwork for tax purposes to open a new separate entity of the existing company. After the attorney and accountant had what they needed, they left the room. Charles walked them out, leaving me alone in the room with Chad. He was still in the chair across from me. “I think it went well.”

  “Yep. Congratulations.” He stood, placing both hands flat on the table. “I need to get out of here. Next time I suggest you bring your phone with you. You never know when someone is trying to get your attention.” He winked and turned to leave the room.

  I couldn’t run out of there fast enough to fetch my phone and look at it. I don’t know what I expected. I figured he was sending me notes about his feelings regarding the plan, but it wasn’t anything like that.

  The first message was sent as soon as I’d arrived at the office.

  I thought we talked about you staying home. – Chad

  The next message was sent before the meeting.

  You sneaky woman. I’m going to have to punish you for keeping this meeting fro
m me. – Chad

  Are you wearing panties? – Chad

  On a scale of one to ten, how bad do you want me to fuck you again? – Chad

  There was one last message, sent just seconds before I’d picked up my phone.

  I can still taste you on my lips. I couldn’t pay attention in that conference room, because I kept picturing myself bending you over and fucking you in front of everyone in there. You did good in there. Congratulations. – Chad

  I sat back in my chair and tried to calm down. I had to stop thinking about him. It was necessary to keep my business and personal life separate. We couldn’t frolic around. It had to be a one-time thing, besides, I still had a mess of a marriage to sort out. Even though I was pretty certain it was over, I still had a bunch of legal matters to tend to. It would take time, and I refused to spend it bent over a conference table.

  I put my phone away, determined to ignore Chad and his antics. I had more important matters to deal with.

  Chapter 14

  Rachel

  I had a ton of paperwork to do and calls to employees to make. It was important to get everyone back into the office, especially when I’d told them to take their clients elsewhere. I needed them to stay with Leviathan, now more than ever. Since I didn’t have a reason to rush home, I stayed in my office determined to get most of it done.

  Grayson managed to call my direct line at work, and unknowingly I picked up the phone. “Hello.”

  “Honey, it’s me. Please don’t hang up.”

  “First of all, don’t call me that. Secondly, I have no reason to want to hear your voice.”

  “I know what you did last night, and you made your point. We’re even. Let’s stop hurting each other and fix what’s broken. Please, I’m asking you to reconsider. Let me take you out tonight so we can talk. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Rachel, I’m lost without you. Just let me explain. Give me a damn second of your time.”

  I started to hang up, because I didn’t give a damn what he had to say to me, but something stuck out to me; something made me feel sad. He knew I’d been with Chad. He said we were even. I knew damn well he’d slept with Kyla way more than one time. They’d screwed around for months behind my back, yet I’d been open about Chad staying with me. He didn’t know my intentions were honest in the beginning. Chad was only being a friend. “I don’t think I can sit in the same room as you.”

  “I get it, I do, but you hurt me too. God, you took a knife and drove it through my heart last night. Tell me you didn’t go through with it. Tell me it was just a ploy to pay me back. Say you didn’t sleep with that guy.”

  “I’m not saying anything to you. I don’t have to. You broke our vows. As far as I’m concerned, you ended our marriage. You certainly ended our commitment to each other. What I did with my friend last night is no longer your business. I’m not going to pretend what I did was right, but it was my choice, just like sleeping with Kyla was yours.”

  “No. This isn’t a competition. I’m trying to save our marriage.”

  I began to laugh at his comment. “It’s a little too late, don’t you think?”

  “Rachel, please. What about counseling?”

  “Counseling is for couples who want to be with each other. Was last night not clear for you?”

  “You’re acting out. In time you’ll change your mind. You know you love me. It doesn’t go away overnight. It’s not that fast.”

  “Oh really? Let me ask you this then. How long have you been sleeping with Kyla? How long have the two of you been involved?”

  The line was dead silent. Then in almost a whisper I heard him reply. “Six months.”

  “Yeah, it happens that fast.” I hung up the phone, feeling more pissed now than before. Six months. He’d been sleeping with her for six months in our house. I wanted to rip my hair out and scream. How could they do it? How could they look at me and pretend they weren’t screwing around behind my back? Did they not feel any sort of remorse? I wanted to puke. The bile was rising to my throat so fast I didn’t know if I could swallow it back down.

  I had to sit still for a few minutes, calming down enough to continue working. A knock at my door was startling. I wasn’t in any condition to answer, so when I saw it crack open I freaked out. “Can’t you knock?”

  Chad came in and shut the door behind him. “Sorry it’s just me. I thought you might be hungry, so I ordered enough for both of us.” He stopped talking when he saw my face. “What’s up?”

  I rubbed my temples as I explained. “I just got off the phone with Grayson. He pissed me off, that’s all. It’s nothing new.”

  He took a brown bag and slid it across the desk toward me, while taking the seat opposite mine again. He pulled out a box of Chinese and used a fork to take a bite. “Eat something. I know you haven’t stopped once today.”

  He was right. “You don’t have to feed me. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

  I opened the bag anyway, starved more than I was willing to admit. What I pulled out was not edible, at least I didn’t think so. “What are these?” I said as I held up a pair of panties and matching bra.

  “A woman should already know the answer to that question, Rach.”

  “Why are they in my dinner bag?”

  “Oh.” He wiped his face and crossed his arms. “Well, I was thinking you might be uncomfortable, I mean, you’ve been cooped up in this office all day. I figured we could grab a quick bite to eat and then freshen up before we head out.”

  “Head out? Where would I freshen up at?”

  “My place. Yours is too far away. We’ll miss the show.”

  “Show?” I was utterly confused.

  “You are a size six, correct?”

  I could feel my cheeks blushing. It was sort of silly since he’d seen every bit of me less than twenty-four hours earlier. “Why do you want to know?”

  “Well, I’m not going anywhere with you dressed like a private school teacher. It’s hot and all, but not cool for tonight.”

  “Who says I’m going anywhere with you?”

  “Do you have something better to do?”

  I shrugged. “Grayson wanted me to have dinner with him. We do need to talk.”

  “True. It’s just, I got these tickets to a musical from one of our clients. My grandfather thinks it’s good for business if we go to support him, especially since we’re keeping the doors open.”

  “So it’s work related?”

  “More or less. As the new CEO of Leviathan Agency I figured you’d want to join me. Professionally of course.”

  I raised my brow, giving him a sarcastic gaze. I knew he was full of himself. After his flirtatious texts earlier, it was obvious he was playing games with me. “You know I have a ton going on.”

  “I can ask someone else, though, I think I remember you mentioning how much you liked musicals. It’s front row, Rach. It’s one night. It will give you time to gather what you want to say to your hubby. What do you say? Do you care to join me?”

  I was dying to see the show, but when tickets were for sale I’d decided it was too late in the evening to travel on the train. The city wasn’t a safe place at night, and I wasn’t exactly a huge woman. “Since when have you paid attention to what my interests are.”

  “Rach, there’s a lot more to me than meets the eye. I thought you figured that out last night.”

  “Last night.” I tapped my fingernails on the desk. “Last night was…”

  “A mistake?” He stood and shook his head. “I told you it was a bad idea.”

  I began to playfully giggle. “Were you not in the bed with me? I enjoyed myself, more than I thought I could. I just think we should leave it there. I can’t get involved with you. I’m too old for you, and if you haven’t noticed I come with a lot of baggage. I don’t even know where I’ll be from day to day.”

  “I told you I didn’t want a relationship, but if a beautiful woman enjoys my company, and I feel the same, I’m sure as hell going
to take advantage of it. I don’t give a shit if you’re married, Rach. You’re stunningly delectable, every damn inch of you. Last night was my pleasure, but I agree with you. We should keep it professional. I’ll just return the panties. You don’t have to go with me.”

  “No. I want to go.”

  “And the panties,” he asked.

  I pushed my chair away from the desk, standing and walking to the side he sat. I slid my body between him and his food, leaning my ass on the edge of the desk. I held the panties up with one finger in front of him. “You mean these?”

  He went to grab them and I jerked them out of his reach. “I don’t wear these thong looking things.”

  “Try them on. At least let me see them one time. Come on, just for a second.”

  I rolled my eyes and looked at the clock. “People still might be here.”

  “We’re the last two people here. I checked already. Besides, your door is shut. Take off your clothes and give me a show.”

  “No, you’re crazy.”

  “I like it when you fight. My dick’s already getting hard. Do you want to feel?”

  Of course he was confident. The guy could have any woman he wanted. I still couldn’t believe he was interested in me. I wondered if I was some kind of bucket list challenge for him. Did he plan to gloat to his buddies at the gym, bragging about how he was nailing a married woman? “I thought we agreed this had to stop.”

  “I don’t have a turn-off switch. I get what I want, and what I want right now is you, in those panties, spread eagle on this desk.” He patted the flat surface as he said it. “Let me fuck you like I know you’ve been imagining all day.”

  I had a choice to make. I could do the right thing and tell him it wasn’t a good idea, or I could give in to temptation and have another go at something that was sure to leave me satisfied.

  The decision was simple.