by S. M. Smith
She grins at the thought of food, but apparently has the wrong thought because the rest of the color drains out of her pretty quickly.
“Are you okay?” I ask running over to her.
“Yeah,” she says, patting the back of her hand to her forehead. “I was just thinking about that Chinese place next to the mall, but apparently Junior doesn’t like that idea.” She glares down at her stomach. She steps back into her dressing room as I chuckle at her.
I step back into my dressing room to change back, carefully hanging up my dress back up. I take the seat in front of the dressing rooms and check my phone, not sure of who I am expecting to have left me a message. I just find my last text thread from Stephen when Shaina steps out in a deep purple halter dress. I’m not impressed with it so I shake my head at her. She shrugs her shoulders and steps back into her dressing room. I scroll through the texts from Stephen while I wait for Shaina’s next dress. I miss him something fierce, miss his voice and his laugh. I miss the friend I had in him, but thinking about what he professed makes me close the thread, wanting to avoid anything to do with him for a little while longer.
Shaina steps out again, this time in a salmon colored, princess neckline dress. The bust has a sweetheart neckline and ivory colored lace brings the dress all the way up and around her neck. When she turns around, my breath is taken away by a beautiful lace backing that runs low down her back. With her long auburn hair, she looks stunning in that dress. It’s my turn to stare in awe at her.
“Okay,” she says checking the back on the dress, “I’m done shopping too. How does Mexican sound?” She turns around and grins at me.
I take my dress to the counter to check out, but get pushed out of the way by Shaina. The young lady behind the register looks slightly concerned we might break out into a fight, but Shaina beams at me.
“Happy birthday!” She winks as she hands the lady her credit card.
“You are not buying my dress,” I tell her, but she shakes her head and waves the clerk on.
“You are too good for Caleb, you know that? Going to a fancy business function on your birthday?! I would have told him to go alone while we go out and party,” she says as she signs her receipt. The clerk hands me my bag and gives me a knowing smile that says she agrees with Shaina.
“It’s okay, really. I’m kinda surprised that Daphne didn’t have some crazy party planned. She normally makes a big deal out of my birthday, well anyone’s birthday actually. She doesn’t pass up any reason to throw a party. That’s not like her.”
“I’m really sorry. I’m sure she didn’t forget or anything. You guys have been besties for ever so I’m sure she has something planned for you,” she says with a twinkle in her eye. “So Mexican for dinner? I’m CRAVING chips and salsa like no other.” She pats her stomach. I giggle at her over dramatization and forget all about her sudden change of topic.
Chapter Twenty-Two
It’s finally my birthday and still no sign of any big shindig. Isaiah and Shelby bring me a gorgeous bouquet of lilies, which just happen to be my favorite, and Jason brings me a large bag of my favorite chocolates from the candy store downtown. Daphne orders in lunch and we all eat in the conference room together. By lunch time on normal Friday afternoons everyone has a hard time focusing and we end up playing around more than getting much done. But today everyone hides in their office and the lobby looks like a ghost town.
I watch Daphne from my desk, wondering what has gotten into her. Even when she’s focused on her work, she’s constantly moving, but today, something is off. She picks up a stack of envelopes, stops and thinks for a second, then puts them right back down where they were two seconds ago. Then she looks up at the clock and her whole body starts to bounce as if she can’t keep her feet still. She does that every few minutes, checking the time. By the time four o’clock rolls around she seems like she can’t handle it anymore, so she picks up her desk phone. I jump when my desk phone rings a second later.
“This is Jessie,” I answer trying to sound like I haven’t been watching her for the last thirty minutes.
“Hey, I’m going to lock up, turn the voicemail on, and head out early. We’re all done with appointments and no one has called all afternoon, so I think it’s safe to call it a day.”
“That’s fine with me. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m great. Just ready to start the weekend, that’s all,” she says a little too rushed. A sure tell that she’s not quite telling the whole truth.
“Got a hot date or something?” I chuckle at her.
“Something like that. Have a wonderful birthday!” she exclaims, quickly and hangs up without a response from me. The next thing I know, she’s flying through the office to Shelby’s office. I get up, ready to get out of here myself.
I step out of my office to find Daphne rushing out of Shelby’s office. She marches back to her desk, grabs her purse out of her bottom desk drawer, digs her keys out as she walks toward the door, yells, “Have a great weekend, everybody,” and walks out the front door turning only to lock it. I turn to Isaiah, who has joined me in the hall to see the commotion.
“What was that all about?” I ask incredulously. Shelby comes out of her office and joins our conversation. I look at her disbelievingly.
“Oh, she’s just nervous about-“ Isaiah starts to say before Shelby elbows him hard in the side.
“About?” I look at them both suspiciously.
“About a date she has tomorrow,” Shelby tries to lie, but she too is horrible at it. She waves her hands in a circle and rolls her eyes whenever she tries to lie. Hmmmm….yep, definitely lying.
“Well I say we all call it an afternoon. I have plans with Caleb tonight and need to get ready so, why don’t we all take off a little early then.” It is like I had just shot the starting gun at a race. Everyone moves at once, sprinting back to their offices to turn computers off and pick up personal belongings, ready to walk out of the building not two minutes later. I lock up behind us all, thinking about Daphne’s suspicious actions and then Isaiah and Shelby’s cover ups and wondering just what it is that everyone is trying to hide.
***
The doorbell rings a little early, and I’m worried I am going to get tied up talking to Mr. Jones and not be finished by the time Caleb arrives. I open the door, trying to put my earrings in with one hand to find a delivery driver with a large bouquet of gorgeous green, yellow, and pink hydrangeas, roses and mini gerberas. It is simple and elegant and I know almost instinctively who they are from. I take the bouquet and thank the driver. Setting them on the bar I pull out the card. In his simple handwriting are only the words Happy Birthday, and my heart sinks at the thought that for the first time in several years, he is the only person I won’t be talking to today.
A single tear slips down my cheek and brings me back to what I’m supposed to be doing. I gently dab at the wetness and rush back to my bathroom, checking to see if my make-up will now need touching up. It doesn’t, but some hair has slipped out of place so I set about securing it. Five minutes later, I’m slipping on the bracelet Caleb got me for Christmas and into my black pointed toe stilettoes when my doorbell rings again.
I walk as quickly as I can in tiny six-inch heels and open the door to find a dashing Caleb awaiting. He looks better than ever, in a tailored tux with his perfectly tied bowtie and shiny black shoes. He steps through my door, taking me in his arms, and kissing me gently.
“Happy birthday, gorgeous,” he says lightly on my lips and kisses me again, this time pressing me closer to him. All breath leaves me and I’m lost in his kisses, forgetting we have somewhere to be. He starts to loosen his grip and the world swirls around me as I come back up for air, only to inhale his intoxicatingly fresh scent. I’m thankful for his hands on my waist as my head stops spinning, otherwise I would have ended up falling on my face.
“You look absolutely exquisite,” he says taking my hand and spinning me around. The look of desire on his face makes me blush and I
have to turn away from him to get ahold of myself.
I take a brave couple of steps away from him to grab my clutch and dress coat. I hold the coat out to him to have him help me put it on, but he’s suspiciously eying the flowers that just arrived.
“Those are pretty,” he says, taking my coat. “Who are they from?” His voice carries a curious tone, but the look on his face makes him seem more angry.
“My Dad,” I lie. Something about the way he asks suggests any other answer would have caused us to argue and I don’t want to do so, not tonight, and especially not after his nearly perfect greeting.
Any trace of anger he had leaves his face as he accepts my answer and I sigh a little in relief, thankful to not start this night off on the wrong foot. I take his arm as we head outside. He leads me to a limo parked at the curb and I look up at him curiously.
“What? I thought you deserved to travel in style on your birthday,” he says nonchalantly, and all I can do is smile and shake my head at him.
He helps me into the car so I don’t rip my dress. Once we are both in the car and it starts to drive us to the event, he pulls out a bottle of champagne and pours us each a glass. He hands me mine, picks up his own and turns to me.
“To your very happy birthday,” he toasts. His phone buzzes as we take a sip and I think to double check my phone to make sure it’s on silent. I pull it out and instinctively check to see if I’ve any missed messages, but there aren’t any and deep down, my heart sinks a little. I turn my phone to silent, though and try not to think any more about it.
“So how has your birthday been so far?” Caleb turns to me and asks as I’m putting my phone back in my purse.
“A little weird actually,” I confess.
“How so?” he asks, with almost a mild amusement on his face.
“Well, Daphne was weird all day. She normally is this poised mess of constant movement, but she’s concise in her actions. Today, she blundered around the office, second guessing everything she did and was super quiet, which is not like her at all. Then she left in a hurry and Isaiah and Shelby tried to cover up for her, so I know something is up. But it’s not like her to not come vent to me about it. I may be over-analyzing things, but I worry about her.”
He smiles at me.
“I love that about you.” His smile grows, but I stiffen up. He loves something about me….we hadn’t used the “L” word in any form with one another, and I don’t think I’m ready to.
“What?” I ask nervously.
“That you care about others so much. You talk about her and your team as if they are your responsibility. Almost like you play a mother figure in their lives.”
I think about this for a second and I’m not sure if I like his infatuation with it. Something about what he said, or the way he said it, is unsettling to me. I know it is supposed to be a compliment, but he makes it sound more cutesy than admirable. I try to shake it, but something just doesn’t feel right and I’m starting to feel uncomfortable being alone around him.
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, mistaking my quietness for reflection on his comment.
“I know we haven’t begun to approach the topic of love, but I want you to know that there are things, characteristics, mannerisms, that I have fallen for and I just thought you should know,” he adds, staring into my eyes; that hungry look is back. I shift in my seat, not sure what to say or do, but suddenly wishing we would get there already. The walls of the car are starting to press in and push me closer to Caleb, rising panic in my gut.
My wish is granted before too much awkward silence has passed. The car stops and I look out the window to find that we are at the convention center. I can’t recall what he said we are doing tonight, other than doing a dinner function. I turn back to Caleb to find him texting someone, but he has an aggravated look on his face. Feeling bad I may have caused him to become irritated, I take a few deep breaths, trying to calm the inner storm that is brewing and reach for his hand.
He looks up and gives me a quick smile as he turns to his door that is now open. He climbs out and holds his hand out for me. I feel the cool air on my face as I step out of the car, feeling the air around me open up. I take his arm, noticing his face is a little harder than it has been all night.
For the first time in our entire relationship, I welcome the thought of being left to myself at one of these events. I keep telling myself that he’ll be distracted by clients and people of power in a few minutes, to just hold on for a few more minutes. But when we walk through the foyer of the building, something seems off. Instead of a buzz of conversation or light music playing, it is eerily quiet. My nerves kick into overdrive at that point and I loosen my grip on Caleb’s arm. He reaches for my hand and gives me an encouraging look, but something in my gut screams at me to run.
Just a few more minutes. Just a few more minutes and you can excuse yourself to a bathroom or something. You can do this! I keep repeating over and over again. As he opens the door to the room, an eruption of noise surrounds me and blows away most of my anxiety.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!” a small crowd of friends all yell from a semi-circle in front of me. My eyes narrow in on who is mostly like to be the main culprit of this this mayhem. Daphne stands triumphantly in the middle of the floor, beaming from ear to ear. I look up at Caleb, who looks pleased with himself for being able to keep up the façade long enough to get me here. He nods and I rush off to hug Daphne, thankful that those few minutes went by quicker than I had anticipated. I hug her tight, oh so thankful to have her here.
“Is this why you were acting so peculiar today?” I ask, so relieved I’m almost crying.
“Oh my goodness! I thought I was gonna explode the other day when you asked if we had plans.” Shelby walks up with an extra glass of wine and hands it to me.
“Well, thank you for all this. It is pretty great,” I tell Daphne.
“Don’t forget to thank Caleb, too. This was a joint effort for both of us.”
I look around to find that he has found Lucas and Shaina, all standing there watching me. Shaina has a surprised, almost concerned look herself.
“Did we give it away this afternoon?” Shelby asks.
“No, but I knew something was up between you, Isaiah and Daphne.” I turn back to our group and chuckle, remembering the scene from this afternoon.
Shelby proceeds to tell Daphne about Isaiah’s almost slip as I look around the room, searching the crowd for familiar faces. I find that some of them are a little less favorable. It appears Caleb invited the couples from his dinner party, Matt and Alexis and Greg and Elise. Their presence makes me wonder just how much of this party is for me and how much is for his professional or social gain.
I mingle with my friends a little while longer before Shaina catches my eye. I wave her over, very excited to have her meet Daphne.
“Oh! You look a-maz-ing!! Happy birthday,” she sings, squeezing me tight.
“Thank you. I want you to meet someone. Daphne!” I call Daphne over and introduce her to Shaina.
“We’ve actually met already,” Daphne admits.
“I was Caleb’s eyes and ears on this party. His liaison if you will,” Shaina admits. I realize now she was who he was most likely texting in the car.
“So you knew when we went shopping?” I ask, realizing what she must have meant when I was complaining about Daphne forgetting.
“Oh yeah.” She giggles.
We all stand and talk for a while, being served tasty hors d’oeuvres and wine by fancy waiters and waitresses. After a while I notice Shaina shifting her weight back and forth, getting antsy.
“Hey,” I say, pulling her aside, “do you need to sit down or anything? Are you feeling okay?”
“Actually I need to talk to you, so yeah, let’s grab a seat.” I walk her to a nearby unoccupied table and ask if she needs anything to drink. She shakes her head no before pulling me down into the chair beside her.
“So I have a question for you, and it’
s kind of personal, but it’s important.” I nod my head to encourage her to continue. “This promise…to God…about waiting to have sex until you’re married…how serious are you about it?” I don’t know what I was expecting her to ask, but it definitely wasn’t this.
“I’m very serious about it. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians that our bodies are temples to the Holy Spirit. To me, that means that what I put in it, and what I do with it should reflect the values and principles of Jesus. There are so many benefits spiritually and emotionally to me waiting, including making sure that the relationship I’m in is meaningful and worthwhile. Not based on whether someone makes me feel sexy or not. Our society today is too consumed by sex and whatever makes us feel good, and it needs to focus more on what is good and right for us. Sex was designed to be the ultimate act of love. I don’t want to devalue it by sleeping with someone who I don’t truly, in the depths of my heart, love.”
She grabs my hand, looking sincerely into my eyes, searching.
“So you’re not afraid to have sex, then?” she asks without any amusement in her voice.
“No, not at all. I’m looking forward to it actually. But let me ask you something. Was Lucas your first?” She shakes her head. “Knowing what you know now, having been with whomever you’ve been with, would you still want to sleep with them?” She shakes her head again. “How much better would your relationship with Lucas be if you had waited for him?” She thinks about that for a second before answering.
“From a purely sexual perspective, he’s the best I’ve ever been with. But from the perspective you just explained, I think it would strengthen us. Neither of us would have the jealousy or concern of how we compare to any of the others, we wouldn’t have nostalgic moments of our firsts. Or seconds. Or whatever.”
I just nod my head, as if her answer backs up my reasoning. Her face drops as she finishes thinking though my question.
