by Dyan Chick
I raced up the stairs to my apartment and quickly changed into black pants and a black shirt. If I couldn't get in, maybe I could beat him there and stop him at the door. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and tied a black and silver scarf over my hair. It was the best I could do on short notice. Hoping I'd be able to blend into the shadows, I left my apartment, making sure the door was locked. I didn't want to come home to more rose petals. I shoved my key into my pocket and froze when my hands touched a piece of paper.
My heart pounded as I pulled out a bright orange flyer. This can't be happening. Unfolding it, I saw the same trapeze artist and the now too-familiar address. I wanted to scream. Squeezing the paper in my hand, I marched down the stairs. Whatever was happening at that circus, I didn't want anything to do with it. This stops tonight.
6
I found my way to the warehouse quickly. The paper in my pocket seemed to be calling to me as I walked. How had it ended up there? This time, the flyer didn't have my name on it. It looked almost identical to the first one. Had Ryder slipped it in there knowing I would figure it out? Had I tucked it in there last night? I pressed my lips together in an annoyed line. None of it made sense. I didn't even know I'd be going back, let alone which pants I would wear.
I stood in the shadows near the entrance watching the familiar figures in club wear go through the door. For some reason, all of the people entering seemed to have a soft shimmer to them. I shrugged it off. They probably had some new form of body glitter out now. I hadn't kept up with the trends.
I waited until about an hour after sunset and still hadn't seen anybody resembling Ryder. Had he gone in already? The steady stream of people entering the party had slowed down and the security guard kept glancing my way. I was pretty sure I was hidden, but every time his head swiveled in my direction, I felt my heart racing.
After a few more groups, there was another lull, and the guard looked in my direction again. This time, he spoke. "You might as well come in, Ara. Your brother's been here for hours already."
I felt like somebody had dumped cold water on me. Stepping out from the shadows, I walked over to the guard. I thought about asking him how he knew who my brother and I were, but after the flowers on my floor, I had a feeling the people who worked at the Rose Circus knew too much about me. It was an odd feeling and it was surprisingly freeing to just accept it without asking questions.
"You have your invitation?" he asked.
I lifted an eyebrow.
"Still need an invite."
With a sigh, I dug the paper out of my pocket. When I opened it, an orange rose blossom fell on to the ground. I stared down at it in disbelief. I opened my mouth to say something, then closed it. There wasn't any point in trying to figure this out. I felt like part of me was surrendering to the strangeness. All I wanted to do was find Ryder, and tell the Ringmaster to leave me alone.
The security guard took the paper from my hands, and for the first time, I noticed that his tattoos looked like an intricate tapestry made up of an old-world family crest.
"You can go in."
I tore my eyes away from his arms and nodded. "Thanks."
"See you tomorrow," he said.
I stopped in the entryway and spun around on my heels. "No. You won't." Without waiting for his response, I walked into the rose-scented, orange glowing room. The music tonight was more intense than it had been in past nights. The bass felt like it was booming inside me and my body was vibrating in time to the beat.
Moving along the wall, I began to make my way to the stage. After a few steps, I started to regret the long pants. It was warmer than it had been on the last two nights. I wiped sweat from my brow and kept walking. Keeping my eyes peeled, I looked for both Ryder and the Ringmaster. The man with the white face paint and pointed teeth scared me, but my anger was greater than my fear. I wanted nothing more to do with this. I'd worked too hard to get away from the drugs and party lifestyle. I wasn't about to let some weirdo in costume suck me back in.
A ballerina in a gold tutu and gold full body paint approached me. She smiled and bowed. On top of her head was a little gold top hat. She had to be part of the circus. I scowled at her. "Where's the Ringmaster?"
She pursed her gold-painted lips and swept a gold-painted arm across her body toward the stage.
"Can you take me to him?" I asked.
She nodded, then started walking right through the crowd. As she approached, the crowd parted for her, never losing a step. It was almost as if they didn't even notice her pass. I stayed close behind her, afraid that if I strayed too far, I'd be sucked up by the crowd. We made it through the dance floor quickly and I found myself standing in front of the stage steps.
Realizing I hadn't been very kind to the gold ballerina, I turned to thank her. She wasn't there, she probably rejoined the party. I took a deep breath and climbed the stairs.
Passing through the black velvet curtain, I found myself backstage. There in front of me sat my brother, the Ringmaster, and several other oddly-costumed and painted members of the Rose Circus. Empty beer bottles and brightly colored glitter covered the table. In each person's hand was a pile of cards.
"You're playing poker?" I directed my words at Ryder. We all had our vices. Ryder was a genius at poker. So much so, that none of his friends would play him anymore.
Ryder set down the beer bottle he was taking a drink from and the color drained from his cheeks. "Hi, AB."
I turned my gaze on the Ringmaster. He'd told me not to come back, yet here he was, letting my underage brother drink. What was wrong with this guy? "You."
Calmly, he set his cards down on the table and fixed one of his wide, sharp-toothed smiles on me. "Yes?"
"How could you do this? Did you know he's not even eighteen yet? I should get you shut down. Letting a minor have a beer. You probably don't even have the proper permits for this party."
"Relax, Ara." The Ringmaster set down his cards and smiled at me.
I could feel the flush rising in my cheeks as anger rose inside me. Who did he think he was? "I don't know what the hell is going on here, but it stops now. I don't know how you got that flyer in my pocket or how you got those petals in my room, but enough is enough."
The Ringmaster tilted his head. "You didn't like the flowers?"
I let out an exasperated groan. "No. It's creepy." I marched over to Ryder and grabbed his arm. "Let's go. We're done here."
Chairs scratched across the floor and all of the people around the table stood except the Ringmaster. Ryder pulled his arm back from me.
Something had shifted in the room. There were no longer smiles on any of the faces around the table. For the first time since walking across the catwalk, I was concerned for my own safety. "Ryder, now."
A man at the back of the table stood. He was built like the Incredible Hulk and had thick, red horns on top of his head that wouldn't have been out of place on the ibex I'd seen at the zoo as a kid. They curled back over his head and I wondered how he kept them attached. The costumes here were the best I'd ever seen. He took a step toward me. I flinched but tried to mask the fear I was feeling.
"Miles," the Ringmaster said. The horned man sat back down.
"I can't go yet," Ryder said.
I looked at him, both eyebrows raised. It was the same look our mother used when she was on her last straw. It was a guilt-trip look that I had mastered over the last few years. "Yes, you can."
"No, I'm down right now. I have to win the next few hands." He lowered his voice, "I can't afford to pay them."
I closed my eyes, then opened them slowly. I'd never understood gambling. Why did people get so hung up on cards? "It's just a game."
Ryder's face distorted into the pleading expression of someone who was desperate. I'd never seen that look on him.
I softened my voice. "How much do you owe?"
He whispered an amount, but his voice was so quiet I missed it.
"What?" I asked.
He got a bit louder. "
Eighty-two thousand."
My whole body tensed as a rush of cold washed over me. I'd never even seen that much money at one time in my whole life. How could he possibly have gambled that much in a few hours? I coughed and looked around the table, eyes wide. "Eighty-two thousand. Dollars?"
He nodded, eyes downcast.
"You can't be serious. You can't honestly expect a seventeen-year-old kid to have that kind of money." They met my gaze with silent stares. "He's just a kid."
"Everyone pays," the Ringmaster said.
If this were the back room of some bar or a friend's house, I'd threaten to call the cops. They couldn't hold an underage kid liable for this kind of debt. But something told me we'd have to find a way to pay this off. Something told me that threatening this group was the wrong way to go about getting what we wanted.
"There must be some other way. Some way he can work this off?" I asked.
The Ringmaster stood. "We may be able to come to an arrangement."
"Thank you," I said.
"It'll take months to work off that kind of debt. When we leave, Ryder can come with us."
The Ringmaster's expression was impassive. For the first time, I missed his creepy smile.
No. I'd worked too hard to be a good example for my brother and had spent the last several months as his guardian. There was no way I was going to fail now. Even before our parents died, he was the motivation I used to turn my own life around. He was too smart, too important to give up everything to join the circus. "He can't go with you. He's leaving for college in a few days."
A short man with lime-green hair handed the Ringmaster a piece of paper. "We have a contract all ready. Once he pays his debt, he's free to go."
"He's not even old enough to sign a contract." I crossed my arms over my chest. I wasn't about to let them take my brother away and let him ruin his whole future.
"We take debts very seriously here at the Rose Circus, don't we boys?" The Ringmaster asked.
The men sitting at the table around him murmured in agreement.
What had we walked into here with the Rose Circus? It was like something out of a mafia movie. I didn't think there were really people like this in the world. It was just a game. "There has to be another way."
"I can keep playing," Ryder said. "They gave me a hundred grand in credit. I can win it back."
I shot Ryder a glare that stopped him cold. "Don't even think about it."
"There may be a way," the Ringmaster began, "that we can make a trade."
"What kind of trade?" I didn't like the way he was looking at me. It was as if he was dissecting me with his eyes. There was something wrong about this whole thing. All I wanted to do was get out of here. For a moment, I wondered if I should just grab Ryder and run. Then I remembered the rose petals on my floor. Something told me there wasn't going to be anywhere I could go to outrun these people.
"You can take his place." The Ringmaster sat back down in his chair. "Ryder can go to college, and you come with us when we leave. Work off your brother's debt. We'll be back in Chicago in one year. When we return, you can leave."
I felt like somebody had just punched me in the stomach and I struggled to breathe. Go with them? Leave Chicago and travel with this weird circus? It was everything I tried to get away from. How would I survive a whole year surrounded by parties and drugs?
I pressed my palms against my eyes, hoping that when I removed them, I'd be back at home. That this was all an awful dream. Dropping my hands, I opened my eyes. The Ringmaster and his friends were all looking at me. Nobody spoke.
"AB, don't do this. I'll go with them. You don't have to bail me out," Ryder tugged on my sleeve.
A lump rose in my throat as I remembered the skinny kid who used to pull on my shirt, asking to play with me. Then, I remembered the kid who helped me sneak back into our parents' house the weekend before the last weekend. He held back my hair while I threw up. He tried to stop me from going out that night when I almost died. When all of my friends abandoned me, the girl who almost died and got sent to rehab, he was there. Every weekend. He was there.
"Yes, I do. But if you do anything stupid and get kicked out of college, I'm going to kill you myself." I forced a smile, trying to look like I was more confident about this than I felt.
"No, AB, you can't."
"Hey, I can get another teaching job. Who doesn't want to take a year off after college to travel the world?" I squeezed his shoulder.
Miles, the horned-headed man, took a few steps toward us. "I can't let you do that, boss."
He was a towering figure, easily three feet taller than me and as broad as a doorway. He scared the hell out of me.
“Are you questioning me?” The Ringmaster turned to the beast of a man.
"I'll take care of the debt, just let them go. They don't belong here. Especially not her."
I wanted to be offended at the way he talked about me, but my heart was leaping with hope. Was it possible that we could get out of this?
"No," The Ringmaster said. "He has to pay."
"But I'm not paying if you take my sister," Ryder said. "She is, what's the difference?"
The Ringmaster moved in front of Miles. "She's your guardian. She's responsible for you until you are of age?"
Ryder looked at me, then back at the Ringmaster. "Yes."
"Then she takes the fall. Maybe you'll think twice about betting more than you have in the future."
"But - a girl?" Miles said.
The Ringmaster spun around toward the table and lifted it, throwing it across the room. "What did I tell you about contradicting me, Miles?"
Miles lowered his head and didn't speak.
My breath caught and I stared wide-eyed in fear at the man who wanted to keep me in his employ for a year. Could I really do this? A lump rose in my throat. I knew I would. I'd made a promise to protect my brother. I had to.
The Ringmaster approached me, his nostrils were flaring, eyes flashing with the remains of his rage. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Then, he removed his hat and swept into a deep bow, returning his hat when he finished. "I'm sorry you had to see that."
He held out the paper to me. "Your contract. Either you join us for a year, or we collect your brother on his eighteenth birthday. Your choice."
My hand shook as I took the paper from him. I looked down at it. "It's blank."
"Of course it is.” The Ringmaster handed me a pen. "It'll fill in as you complete your tasks and once you have paid back the debt, it will let you know."
How many times had I been told that only an idiot signs a contract without reading it? And here I was being handed a blank one. "How do I know you'll keep your word?"
"I always do, you're going to have to trust me." The Ringmaster moved the blank page closer to me.
"Don't sign that, AB," Ryder said. "Please, I'll go. This is my mistake."
I had more than my share of second chances. Ryder had never needed one until today. I stared at the pen, knowing I was going to be signing the paper if I couldn't think of any other way out.
Ryder took the pen from me and reached for the paper. I spun away from him. "Don't you dare."
Before he could do something stupid, I grabbed the pan out of his hand and signed my name. In a cloud of smoke, the pen and the contract vanished. I looked down at my empty hands, frozen in shock. What have I done?
"Why did you do that, AB?" Ryder asked.
"Because you deserve the chance to do something great," I said.
"What about you?" he asked.
As I stared at my brother, I knew I had made the right choice. He'd spent his whole life working hard. He had to overcome a sister who nearly died, the death of his parents, and all the things that came with tragedy. I'd put him through so much over the years. It was the least I could do. One year of working for a crazy circus wasn't even equal to what I had put him through. "I've had more chances than most people, you know that."
"It's settled, then." The
Ringmaster put his arm around me, sending a jolt through me. "You have three days to get your affairs in order. You may only bring one suitcase. If you don't show up by midnight on the third day, we'll come and collect your brother for payment."
"I'll be here." I shrugged off the Ringmaster's arm, then turned to Ryder. "Let's go."
Without a word, he stood and followed me out. I could feel the stare of the Ringmaster on me as I left the warehouse.
7
As Ryder and I shoved the last box into the small storage compartment, I felt numb. It had taken us only a day to pack up everything I owned and haul it to a self-storage unit. I hadn't taken much with me when I moved out of our parents' house and our greedy aunt had been the executor of our parents' estate. She'd sold everything that hadn't been nailed down before Ryder and I even processed the loss.
I handed the key to Ryder. "Keep that for me, okay? I don't know how safe personal belongings will be while traveling with a circus."
Ryder's face fell. "I'm so sorry."
"Hey, enough. I'll be fine. I could use a little adventure." I nudged him with my elbow.
"But your job," he said.
"It's fine. I told them that I had to care for our grandmother. They begged me to check for openings when I return. It's not like they have math teachers knocking down their doors."
Ryder took a breath, then shoved the key in his pocket. "Okay. But if I don't hear from you for more than a week, I'm going to file a missing person's report."
I laughed and put my arm over his shoulder. "You won't even have time to think about me. You're going to be so busy with classes, and making new friends, and doing stupid - but not too stupid - shit."
"Yeah, you might be right."
We were silent for the car ride back to my empty apartment. We'd left the beds and a stack of suitcases and boxes for Ryder's trip piled in the living room. Since I wasn't going to need a car, we sold Ryder's for a few hundred dollars. My car was better than his and I had no way of storing it for a year, so it made sense for Ryder to keep it.
