by Dyan Chick
"I knew you couldn't handle it yourself."
I turned to see Evangeline behind me, hands on her hips.
"Evangeline! Am I happy to see you! I know you hate me, but at least you're familiar." I couldn't help myself, the words just came out.
She glared at Bigfoot, looking from him to the bottle. "Did you give her that?"
"She had a choice," he said.
Evangeline shoved him. "You idiot. You know what that stuff does to heart-beaters. Get out of here."
She sat on the stool next to me. "You shouldn't drink things from people you don't know. Didn't your parents teach you that?"
"My parents are dead. Both of them. Their own damn fault. They shouldn't have tried to drive after drinking." I slapped my hand over my mouth. I'd never told anybody that the accident had been my dad's fault. I even managed to hide the blood-alcohol reports from Ryder. I hated talking badly about my parents. Especially after I ran my own life into the ground for so many years. "And look at me! I'm no better than them!"
Evangeline slapped me across the face.
"Ouch!" I covered my stinging cheek with my hand. "What was that for?"
She picked up a tub of eyeliner and a small brush. "Stay still."
"No!" I pulled away from her. "You slapped me!"
She sighed. "You drank faerie-wine. You can't have that. It makes people like you tell the truth. Even if you don't want to. Trust me, I'm protecting you from yourself."
"What?" I rubbed my still sore cheek.
"Just don't drink anything anybody offers, okay? I might not like you, but I won't hurt you. Brenon and I have an understanding. I look out for him, and he looks out for me. That means I won't hurt you. But I can't promise that the others will feel the same way."
I dropped my hand into my lap. Suddenly, a slap on the cheek didn't seem so bad. "Are you saying there are people here who would hurt me on purpose?"
She leaned in, tiny brush in hand. "Yes, now stay still. I don't want to poke you in the eye."
I held my breath as she applied eyeliner and thought back to the strange people that had watched me when I entered the dressing room. "Why?"
Evangeline set the brush on the table. "It doesn't matter. Just keep making it clear that you plan to leave at the end of this year. Make sure nobody ever thinks you want to stay. As long as they believe that you don't want to be here, you're probably safe."
Probably safe. That wasn't the thing one wanted to hear. "I don't want to stay here."
"Good." She handed me a tube of lipstick. "I take it you can do this yourself?"
I nodded.
"See you out there." She stood.
"Out where?" I asked.
"In the circus, of course. You're expected to perform." Without elaboration, she walked away.
I stood and tried to catch up to her but a group of girls in hot-pink leotards walked between us. When I made my way through them, Evangeline was gone. How am I expected to perform? Nobody told me what I was supposed to do.
I still had the lipstick in my hand so I walked back to the dressing table. Opening the tube, I applied the bright-red lipstick. It appeared to the be same color Brenon had been wearing. I shook the thought from my mind and set the lipstick on the table. When I turned around, the huge dressing room was empty. Abandoned clothing and open makeup scattered across the tables were all that remained of the myriad of performers. Glitter in every color of the rainbow and feathers that had fallen off of various costumes covered the floor in beautiful chaos. It was like the remnants of a New Year's Eve party. But I knew that the party was just getting started. Taking a deep breath, I walked toward the doors.
9
As soon as I entered the darkened hallway, I could feel the bass from the pounding music. Orange and yellow flashing lights spun around the warehouse space in front of me and I could smell the roses.
Pausing at the end of the hallway, I looked out at the teeming mass of people. The stage was set up along the back wall, as if it had never gone. The whole room had been decorated with lights and covered in roses in the few hours I had spent in the dressing room. I moved out into the warehouse space and stood against the wall, brushing my fingers over the roses. I touched the flower in my hair and quickly dropped my hand.
My mind reeled back to the morning I had woken up with petals covering my floor. What had Brenon said about it? He'd seemed surprised that I didn't like them. I frowned. He was a bit schizophrenic in his behavior toward me. Sometimes I felt like he was looking out for me, like he wanted to be around me. Other times, he didn't want anything to do with me. If this kept up, he was going to be exhausting to be around for the next year.
A bright green fairy joined me against the wall. She looked like Tinkerbell, complete with white puff balls on her green slippers. Her blonde hair was streaked with green and orange stripes and twisted into a bun on top of her head. Her wings seemed to flutter and move as if they were in a breeze.
I tore my eyes away from them. I was starting to figure out that nothing here was as it seemed. Unsure if she was a member of the circus or a guest, I decided my best course of action was to be nice. "Hi." I had to shout over the music.
She lifted her eyebrow as she studied me, not even hiding the fact that she was evaluating me from head to toe. "A bumblebee?"
I shrugged.
"That Eva has a sick sense of humor." Tinkerbell turned away from me, eyes fixed on the partygoers in front of her.
My skin prickled. Evangeline was the closest thing to a friend I'd met in this place, aside from Brenon, but he was possibly more confusing than her. I knew she didn't like me. She made that clear, but I didn't think she'd do anything to harm me. "What do you mean?"
The green fairy looked at me again. "They didn't tell you anything, and yet you signed up for a year of service?" She stuck a lollipop in her mouth.
I stared at her. She was right. I still wasn't sure what I had agreed to and her gaze alone was enough to make me feel stupid. Why were all these people making me feel so down on myself? "I did it for my brother."
"Yeah, yeah, we all heard the sob story." She pulled the lollipop from her mouth. "Look, heart-beater, Eva is protective of Brenon. Don't cross her or you'll get burned. I'm guessing the costume is a warning for him. It's not your fault you got in the middle of this mess. He's the one who brought you in."
"But what does a bumblebee have to do with Evangeline and Brenon?" I asked.
"Bumblebees. That's what we used to call the girls who followed him around. The village girls couldn't get enough of him. They were attracted to his sweetness, like a bee to a flower." She handed me a lollipop.
I took it from her and squeezed it in my hand. "I don't understand any of this."
"I know. Take care of yourself, bumblebee." She glanced to the flower in my hair. "Don't get drawn to the flower."
I reached up and pulled the flower from my hair, studying it in my hand. Nothing was making any sense here. A century? Heart-beater? Dropping the flower, I walked toward the only place I thought the Ringmaster might be. I couldn't wait for an answer anymore. He had to start explaining.
The stage was still dark, the Rose Circus sign had yet to be lit. Before I could lose my nerve, I climbed the stairs and passed behind the heavy, velvet curtain. In the shadows of the poorly lit backstage area, I could just make out a tall figure in a top hat.
"We need to talk." I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to hold on to the anger and confusion I felt.
Brenon turned and even in the shadows, I could make out his electric green eyes. "Well, hello to you, too."
"You can't keep me in the dark like this," I said.
"Brenon, it's time for the dust." Evangeline had walked up from behind me. She narrowed her eyes at me and looked from me to Brenon. "I hope I wasn't interrupting anything... personal."
Brenon furrowed his brow as if he could never imagine anything between the two of us. "You can't be serious, Eva."
I scoffed. "Nothing personal here
, I assure you."
Evangeline raised her eyebrows. She seemed to be silently judging us.
"I'm not in the mood to do the dust tonight, Eva," Brenon said. "You do it. And take her with you. Might as well teach her something."
"Me?" I stared at Brenon.
"You are here to work off a debt, remember?" he said.
I sighed. "That's right, boss."
Brenon looked like he wanted to say something back to me, but instead, he turned and walked away.
"Guess I'm stuck with you, then. Come on." Evangeline took off backstage toward the other side of the stage at a pace so fast I had to almost jog to keep up with her.
Her tail swished back and forth as she walked. As much as I wanted to believe that tail as part of an elaborate costume, the more time I spent with her, the less I could convince myself of it.
She stopped in front of several large barrels. Behind the barrels, four girls were pulling on tutus and other parts of their costumes.
"Thanks for helping us out tonight, ladies," she said.
"Of course," a perky young girl in a blue fairy costume said. "I look forward to this party every year. Glad I could help out."
Evangeline opened a box next to the barrels and pulled out several small buckets with handles. Each of the girls was given a bucket.
"The dust is in these barrels." Evangeline patted her hand on the lid of one of the containers. "Fill your bucket and fly to the rafters when I kill the lights. When I bring them back on, you can fly out and start dropping the dust one at a time, just like last night."
The fairies nodded and picked up their buckets. A girl in a yellow fairy costume stepped closer to Evangeline. "Hey, can I ask you a question?" Her cheeks flushed.
Evangeline shrugged. "Sure."
"Is, uh, is the Ringmaster seeing anybody? I mean, I know he doesn't get serious, but does he have anyone in mind for tonight?"
My stomach tightened and a little flame of heat rose inside me. It felt an awful lot like jealousy, which made no sense.
Evangeline glanced at me, then pursed her lips. Then she turned back to the yellow fairy. "I'll let him know you're interested."
The girl squealed and jumped up and down. I felt sick. What kind of girl wanted to hook up with a guy for just one night? Especially him. And why was Evangeline helping her? Was that part of their understanding?
Evangeline rolled her eyes. "Come on, bumblebee."
I followed her away from the sharp giggles coming from the fairies behind us. "Is that really what he's into?"
"Why do you care?"
"I don't, just that sound, those girls. They drive me crazy," I said.
Evangeline smiled. "You have good instincts. Those sprites are one of the most annoying creatures to flee from Faerie."
I stopped walking. "What did you say?"
She turned around. "Come on, you were going to figure it out eventually, anyway."
"Faerie? Sprites?" The words sounded foreign and far away. It was obvious I was in way over my head and it was clear there were things happening here that I didn't understand. I had determined that some type of magic was involved, but I still thought there was a scientific way to explain it.
"You're messing with me, aren't you?" I asked.
"Doesn't matter, once you start to see, you'll figure it all out." She started walking again.
I ran after her. "That doesn't make any sense. I can see just fine."
"You're missing the point," she said. "You don't see with your whole being. You only see what you want to believe."
We were back on the other side of the stage now and she stopped walking. "Look, it will come in time. Right now, all I want you to do is go out there and tell them to think happy thoughts."
"Me?" I stepped back from the stage. "No, no, no. I don't do that. I'm not a performer."
"Tonight you are, bumblebee." She shoved me. "Go earn your freedom."
I stumbled forward and a spotlight swirled on to me. The music had quieted and a cheer sounded from the crowd as they caught sight of me. For a moment, I froze, too afraid to do anything. Then, I remembered what Evangeline had said. I needed to earn my freedom. I needed to work off the debt. The sooner I did, the sooner I could get out of here and away from all of this.
My throat felt dry. I swallowed and licked my lips, trying to prepare myself to speak in front of the massive crowd. One foot in front of the other.
Somehow, I managed to make it to the center of the stage. The spotlight on me was blinding, making the size of the crowd hard to make out. A bead of sweat rolled down from my forehead. How did actors do this? That light was hot.
"Welcome," I said. It sounded flat, quiet, forced. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Welcome!"
The crowd cheered, giving me a boost of confidence. It couldn't be difficult to impress a group of partygoers who are just looking for a good time. Just do it, Ara. I took a deep breath and shouted, "Are you thinking your happy thoughts?"
The crowd went wild and the spotlight moved away from me, changing color to a bright blue, it swirled up to the ceiling. I was left standing on the stage in the dark. A wave of relief unlike anything I'd ever felt rolled through my whole body. I had done it. Walking off the stage, I started to think that maybe I could do this. Maybe I would find a way to fit in here for the next year.
10
I watched from backstage as the crowd danced while they floated high in the sky. It looked sort of fun, and part of me wished I was brave enough to join them. It didn't seem to last all that long, though. After about fifteen minutes, people started to drift back to the ground, some lingering in the air longer than others.
I found myself bouncing in time to the beats from the DJ and could feel the positive energy from the crowd. Maybe I should ignore the things I didn’t understand and find a way to enjoy some of the party. Or at least find a way to make the night go by faster.
After all, I'd given up the parties to set a good example for Ryder, and he was on his way to college. When I called him tomorrow, he’d probably be unpacking in his new dorm. It couldn't hurt to have a little bit of fun. Feeling brave enough, I climbed down the stage stairs and started to wander.
A girl with bright pink hair bumped into me. My heart leaped from my chest when I recognized her as the girl who had been here with Ryder the first night I had come to the Rose Circus. I grabbed her arm and pulled her to me. She tried to pull it away, but I squeezed tighter.
"Hey, what's the..." She stopped struggling and stared at me. "Ryder's sister. What are you doing here?"
"I should be asking you the same thing. My brother's not with you, is he?" He should be halfway to school by now. Morning couldn't come soon enough so I could call him to make sure he was safe.
"No, he dumped me. Didn't want to do a long-distance relationship." She shrugged.
"You seem real broken up about it," I said.
"Hey, your brother's a sweet guy, but he’s not really a good fit for this scene. I got a lot of shit for bringing him here. You heart-beaters aren't supposed to be in here." She narrowed her eyes. "Wait, how'd you get in here, anyway? Who brought you here?"
"Nobody brought me, I came myself."
"Huh," she said. "They must be more lax on the wards than they should be."
"Wards?" My eyebrows pressed together. "Like magic?"
She shook her head. "You really don't belong here, you know that?"
"Maybe I don't," I said. "But that's not really your business."
She put her hands up in mock surrender. "Hey, I saw you with the Ringmaster. Clearly, you're a VIP. I didn't mean anything by it. But, yeah, magic wards. They are supposed to keep humans from even seeing the party, let along getting in, unless they are brought in by one of us. That's how your brother got in. I have no idea how you got through."
A tall, dark-haired guy with a hoop in his nose and spikes in his ears ran over to us. "Nadia, you coming? We saved you a blue pill."
Nadia waved to him. "Yeah, coming."
<
br /> I winced at the mention of the drug that had nearly killed me. "You know, you should be careful with that stuff. They don't even know what's in them. They aren't natural."
She lifted an eyebrow. "Sweetie, I'm a Nymph. They can't hurt me."
My mouth dropped open and I hurried to close it.
Nadia's eyes softened. "Look, I don't know why you're here, but take care of yourself. I mean this in the nicest way, humans are fragile creatures. They get broken, they die. We don't. Remember that. Your new friends might not."
My whole body felt numb as I watched Nadia walk away. My head spun and my vision blurred as I stared out at the mass of people gyrating to the music. The floating, the pixie dust, the elaborate costumes, none of it was able to be explained logically. None of this should be possible. Magic wasn't real. I knew that for a fact, yet here I was surrounded by things that would say otherwise.
In a daze, I stood frozen as dancers occasionally bumped into me before moving on to other areas. There wasn't any way to ignore what Evangeline and Nadia had said. Somehow, I'd wandered into a whole new world complete with sprites and nymphs. I just wasn’t sure I was ready to believe that it could all be real. Was there any other explanation?
The circus acts were back in full swing now that all the partygoers were on the ground. I watched as the woman who was covered in scales flew through the air on the trapeze above me. I now understood why they didn't care if there was net under them. They probably couldn't die. Another reason to suck this up. If they wanted to hunt me down, spending a few years chasing me would feel like nothing to them. A human wouldn't waste years of their life hunting down one person.
Just as I was trying to figure out an alternative to magic as the reason for what I was seeing, the Ringmaster took the stage and the crowd and music quieted. His presence on the stage was both fearsome and ethereal. Somehow, it made sense that he wasn’t human. I wondered why I hadn’t noticed how different he was before?Whatever he was, he could command an audience.
