Bella

by Michael Conley

  Jacob's grinned across the table and that set me off even more.

  “What are you grinnin’ at you damned flat!” I shouted at him.

  Tears were starting, and I hated that. I wasn't sad, I was mad! But that's the curse of being a woman I guess. Cry when you're mad, when you're happy, cry about damn near anything. But it made me even madder. Ma I might have been able to fool into letting me go, but not Old Ying. I was never able to get over on her!

  “Christopher, your mother asked this of me and I must honor her request, as must you. She is worried because they will not tell her when she may be allowed to leave, but it will be more than a week. I will escort you into the Blacklands with Mr. Wasco and Mr. Jacob.”

  I was too worked up to even notice what she had said, but Wasco and Jacob's heads snapped up to look at her, startling me.

  “Ying,” Wasco said, “I'm gonna need ta ask how you keep doin’ that.”

  “Doing what, Mr. Wasco?” She met Wasco's gaze and did not waver.

  Wasco made that sliding rock noise again and just kept looking at her. Jacob cleared his throat. I took the opportunity to wipe the tears off my face and snorted to stop my nose from running.

  Wasco spoke first, “When I first comed here you knew my name before I ever said it. Topher hadn't said it either. But you called me by my name just the same. Now we just sat down and there ya go, knowin’ what we had to do without even a word between us. That's edgin’ a might past odd.”

  “Mr. Wasco,” Ying said, “if we are to take this journey together, it is high time we put our cards on the table, do you not agree? I am more than an old lady running a curiosity shop, as you already know, and you are more than the mountain bumpkin you pretend. Mr. Jacob,” Ying looked Jacob in the eye, “well he has a story to tell as well. Surely my knowing your name and guessing what is to come does not seem so strange in the context of the things you have seen in your life? You and Mr. Jacob know a bit more about these things than you let on, do you not?”

  Jacob looked away, chewing on a matchstick. Wasco stared hard at her, and then he settled back into his chair, never breaking eye contact.

  Wasco was first to break the silent staring contest.

  “I reckon I do at that. So, how’s that bring us to you and Topher here goin’ into the Blacklands? That makes as much sense as tryin’ to saddle break a cougar”.”

  “I am still capable of managing a hard trip, Mr. Wasco, and I will have Li with me as well, to look after my needs. My skills at healing are not insignificant, and I expect I will contribute in other ways as well. There are things that will need done out there that guns alone will not solve. One of those things is that this girl is going into that place with or without our permission.”

  All three of them looked at me.

  Ying said, “You were going to try and follow them, were you not, Christopher?”

  She looked back to Wasco.

  “Since I have known this girl she has done nothing that makes me think she will be less stubborn and strong willed about this than she has anything in her life. As I have been given her charge, it is my duty to make sure she does not go without me. So, we are in agreement. When shall we leave?”

  I had not known Wasco for long, but I was pretty sure few people had ever set him back like Old Ying did. He just sat there, almost looking mollified.

  “We should leave soon,” Jacob said as he turned to look at Wasco. “Those men, the ones that you found me near, I heard one of them mention someone named Bull. It did not dawn on me until now, but that seems an awful bit of a coincidence. We left without searching things. I think we should get out there and see if they had anything that might help us before the crows and coyotes get them.”

  “Reckon so. How about mornin’?” Wasco said looking at each of us in turn.

  I certainly wasn't going to object, gift horses being as they are and such.

  Wasco said, “Topher, I know yer a pigheaded girl and like to think you know a lot about everything, but this place we're goin’, it ain't like nothin’ you ever seen. It's dangerous, and don't even start to open that mouth of yours, you hear.”

  It wasn't a question and I had been about to mouth off. But he had that damn look on me again, froze me like a scared rabbit. God, I hated that!

  “Now listen good. It ain't just strange, it's deadly. You could die out there, and there won’t be nothing left to bury if ya do. I wouldn't have none of it if I didn't know Ying was right and yer dumbass would be sneakin’ out after us anyway. So, you gonna have ta swear to me that you won't gimme none of that bullshit of yours. One of us tells ya to stay put, you stay put; we tells ya to be quiet, you be damn quiet. It ain't no game and it ain't cause yer a kid neither. It's ‘cause I been there before, and I know what I'm talkin about. It's that or I swear to God I will tie you up and leave you in the closet.”

  I nodded my head.

  “No, goddammit, you gotta say it. Say you swear you'll do as you're told!”

  Oh, how I hated him. I felt hot tears roll down my cheeks again. I was shaking. I was scared of him. I was scared of going. I was scared of not going. But mostly I was mad as hell. I just sat there shaking with tears streaking my face.

  “There's more,” he said voice softening a bit. “I’m gonna swear also. I swear that I won't be treatin’ ya like no kid either. If yer gonna go out there, yer gonna be a full-on equal. Even get a cut of the pay. This ain't about me thinking yer a little kid, kid.”

  He looked to the others and back to me. “I ain't sayin’ this because yer a kid or a girl. I'm sayin’ yer one of us, so yer gonna have to act like it is all, and I swear I’ll treat you that way and get you back home alive.” His granite hand reached out and covered my tiny black hand and squeezed gently.

  “I ain't gonna treat ya like a kid.”

  That broke me. I sobbed, and my walls came crashing down. I swore like he'd told me to. Up to that moment nobody had ever talked to me that way. Like a person. An equal. My ma loved me, that was for sure, but she didn't know me. She had to work too much since Pa had gone, and I had been growing and changing alone. Will and the gang didn’t really know me either. They still treated me different because I was a girl. Wasco was recognizing I was truly part of a group.

  Nobody hugged me, because that wasn't what I needed just then, and they knew it. I needed to work out how I felt being outside of my walls. I sobbed while they talked about details. When the subject of my carrying a gun came up I lifted my red but tear-free eyes.

  “A rifle,” I said. “I can't hold a pistol when it goes off, but I can shoot a rifle.”

  They all looked at me, but nobody asked how I knew how to shoot. I was glad I didn't have to explain about us taking Samuel's dad’s guns and going shooting. I never thought it had been worth the whoopin’ we got, but I guess it was now. That was a few years ago, but by my age most of the boys that lived outside the city handled rifles and even some in the city when they had to travel with their families. It was only because I was a girl and my pa was gone I didn’t get trained to shoot.

  “All right, can ya ride?” Wasco asked.

  “I don't think so. Ain't never have,” I said.

  “Ok then. I'll get a mule fer ya. You can ride that easy enough and we ain't lookin’ to set a blisterin’ pace.”

  I wanted to protest and yell about how I wasn't no addle-brain that couldn't ride a horse, but we had moved past that. Saying it would just seem childish. I'm sure I caught the corner of Wasco's mouth twitch in a slight smile when I didn't challenge him.

  We didn't get on the road until close to noon the next day. Wasco had picked up a couple of horses and mules for us. It was a warm late-winter day with the sun out in a cloudless sky. A breeze was blowing so there was hardly any steam at all.

  I named my mule Old Shit, because it was old and shit brown. Wasco rode a dappled Appaloosa and had traded his coon skin cap for a wide-brimmed, tan hat with a rounded top. Jacob had a black horse with a white diamond on its head and wor
e his black Stetson. Li rode on a small brown pony and Ying had a mule like mine. Li was wearing some kind of armor and had a sword and bow tied to the side of the horse and both he and Old Ying wore those pointy straw hats I had seen around town. Wasco moved his horse near me and tossed a small box at me.

  “Yer gonna need that out there or the sun'll eat you up. I tried to find somethin’ you could fit all that hair under but gave up and grabbed one I thought you might like.”

  I opened the box and took out a hat. It was black with a not-too-wide brim that was flared up on the sides. The crown flared, like a coachman's hat and it was flat on top. Around it was a leather band with silver disks attached. I pushed it down onto my head. It fit nicely; I had no idea what it looked like on me, but it felt nice.

  Wasco grunted and rode back to where Jacob was.

  “It is a perfect hat, look for yourself,” Ying said and held out a mirror with a pearl handle.

  She was right. I don't know how that gruff old fool did it, but it was the only hat I could imagine on top of my cloud of curls.

  We rode single file with hardly a look back. When we reached the gate, I thought I should look back, that this was some momentous occasion in my life, but I didn’t really feel it. I was just trying to convince myself I should. So, I rode out of Edge City without a backward glance.

  Outside of the city the air was crisp, and my cheeks quickly chapped. The breeze that had been pleasant inside of the city walls was a rough wind out here. I can't put words to what I was feeling as we rode through the gate. I had been outside of the city walls many times, but not like this. This was different. I wasn't coming back tonight, or even tomorrow. I would be sleeping outside in the Blacklands! I wasn't afraid; I was too young to know I was supposed to be. We are all immortal as children.

  By the time we got to the copse of trees near where we had found Jacob, I just wanted to be out of that dammed saddle. My ass hurt, my legs hurt, my back hurt, and I was bored out of my mind. When Wasco put his hand up and slid off his horse I was pleased to hear him groan a bit. I jumped down with the energy of youth and fell right over. My legs had completely forgotten about standing, let alone jumping. Jacob put his hand out and gave me a lift.

  “Should have warned you about that. It'll take some getting used to,” he said.

  Nobody laughed and my embarrassment passed quickly.

  Wasco said, “That was yer free one kid. Jacob falls like that he's gettin' a line a shit thrown his way. I figured I'd let you settle in before we started in on you though.”

  He gave me a friendly shove that made me stumble and I laughed.

  “Ok, let's go, but quiet,” he said. “Remember how I showed you? It's get'n on in the evening so there are lots of shadows. Try and keep to them. Place yer feet quiet and follow me. Got no reason to think there's anything at all down there, but ya never know.”

  He looked a question at Ying and she nodded. He disappeared into the trees. It was almost magic the way he blended in. I was right on his heels and it seemed like he was a ghost. Ying and Li, who hadn't said much of anything the whole trip, weren't as good, but they were quiet. Jacob was not. He just walked, his hard boots crunching leaves and branches. I don't even think he was trying.

  “What in the hells are you about?” Wasco said.

  He had stopped and was staring at Jacob like he was a loon.

  “You tryin’ to make sure we let everything fer a mile know we're here?” Wasco said exasperated.

  Jacob looked sheepish. “Sneaking isn't something I have much practice at. Why don't you go ahead, and I'll wait here till you give me an all clear?”

  “Chucklehead,” I said and stuck out my tongue as I walked past him mimicking Wasco's movements.

  When we reached the ridge-line Wasco waved his arm down hard and we all dropped to our bellies and froze.

  “Topher git back and tell Jacob to get up here as quiet as he can but to stay low, if they look up here they might see yer heads,” he said in a whisper.

  Just the day before, I would have thrown a stubborn fit about being bossed around. Now I hurried back, being as quiet as I could, feeling proud he had given me the job.

  Jacob wasn’t quiet, not by a long shot, but he moved slow and stayed hunched over, crawling the last fifteen feet to Wasco who was on his belly, rifle in hand. We slithered up next to him and peeked over.

  “I count eight of ‘em. Look like road agents, could be Comancheros. Snake, what'r you thinkin’?” Wasco asked.

  Jacob looked at Wasco. “Are you really going to start calling me Snake?” he asked.

  “What, ain't you ‘Jake the Snake’ no more?” Wasco asked deadpan.

  Jacob just rolled his eyes.

  “I don't think they are either one,” Jacob said after a minute or so. “They are loading the bodies onto the wagon. Why would agents or Comancheros bother to take bodies? And look at their guns. New model steam rifles. Pistols look the same. Road men don't carry weapons like those.”

  Below, the men had replaced the broken wheel on the wagon and were tossing the last of the bodies onto it. I felt the acrid taste of bile as I remembered the half-eaten, twisted corpses. Thankfully, I was too far to see them clearly and I was not about to reach for the spyglass.

  “Looks, like they’ve got them loaded. They’re getting ready to head out,” Jacob said.

  Wasco made his gravely grunt as he sighted down the rifle.

  “Keep yer heads down,” he said.

  Jacob looked over at him. “That's got to be close to two hundred yards with a cross wind. Be lucky if you can hit the side of the wagon from here.”

  The wagon started to move. There was a bang and a flash. We all watched for something to happen. I could make out the men frantically looking around as the sound echoed around the bowl of the canyon and one of their horses reared up unhurt. It seemed as if he had missed everything. Wasco rolled over to his back, tucked his head down, and started reloading.

  The driver of the wagon snapped the reins and the horses leapt forward. Some of the men had steam guns drawn now but none had spotted us yet.

  “Just keep yer heads down and wait,” Wasco said.

  He sounded so confident, but it seemed all he had done is let them know we were there from what I could see. The wagon lurched, turned to the left, and rolled to a stop. The horses kept running on.

  “You have got to be kidding me!” Jacob said.

  Jacob sighted down the slope with the spyglass and made a low whistle.

  “You hit the damn yoke of a moving wagon in the wind at near two hundred yards?”

  Wasco grunted. “Yoke’s the part still on them horses. I hit the tongue.”

  Meanwhile the men below were looking this way and that with guns out.

  “Gonna be needin’ ya to leave that wagon and ride on!” Wasco called over his shoulder.

  Wasco's call echoed off the hills a couple of times. The men jumped and renewed their efforts to find us.

  “You ain't got no claim to it!” one of them called back.

  “Just ride away boys. Ain't nothin’ there worth getting killed over, got rifles on ya all the way round!” Wasco called back.

  Wasco was already done reloading the rifle. I had never seen anyone load a muzzle loader that fast.

  “How about I come down and talk about it. Hold yer damn fire and maybe we can make a deal. Tell yer boys to find leather for them guns, I'll do the same. Anyone pulls ‘em and yer the first that’s gonna get a bullet!” Wasco yelled.

  Without waiting for a reply, Wasco said, “Alright, Jacob, take Li there and see if they'll trade him for the wagon.”

  “What?” Jacob and I both exclaimed at the same time.

  “Got any better ideas? Now I'm thinkin’ you know how to use that pigsticker you got there Li. And Jacob here, he is mighty fast with them pistols. So, he'll take ya down there like yer his prisoner and be holdin’ yer stuff where you can get it. When shit hits the fan, you start stickin’,” Wasco said.


  “How am I gonna draw my guns if I'm holding his stuff?” Jacob asked.

  “Drop it,” Wasco said.

  Jacob stared at him.

  “So, you figure I'm going to stand there in front of eight armed men, wait until Li grabs a sword, drop what I am holding and draw before they do?” he asked.

  “Yup”

  “I can do that,” Jacob said ginning.

  “What should I do?” My voice was shaking. I was petrified he was going to tell me I would have to shoot someone.

  “We’re gonna have two of our own down there and you ain't been shootin’ long enough to risk shooting into that. You seen me load, can you do it?”

  “I know how ta load a damn rifle!” I snapped.

  A voice came rolling up from below. “Alright stranger, we holstered them, come on down and we can talk!”

  Jacob peeked through the spyglass. “Nobody’s holding.”

  “I knowed ya could,” Wasco said, looking me in the eye. “Just needed to make sure you can do it when there are bullets in the air. I'm gonna shoot this round and hand you this rifle, you hand me yours. Load it and be ready to trade again, got it?”

  I nodded my head but wasn't sure I could get my hands to stop shaking.

  “And keep yer head down!”

  He looked a question over to Ying.

  “I will do what I can,” she said.

  He made that rocky sound and nodded.

  “Okay, Jacob and Li move down off the ridge a bit and get ready, walk out around the rim a bit before you head down so they don’t eyeball us. Tell him we got Li and some other runaways and need to get them to the rail to get paid, but lost our horses to the Rot and had to leave the wagon. See if he'll trade that wagon for Li.”

  Wasco pointed with his rifle, “I'm gonna hit the first one that goes for his gun. Him being on fire is your signal.”

  Li slid soundlessly off the ridge followed by a less-quiet Jacob. Wasco scowled at him. Li gave his sword, bow and arrows to Jacob who wrapped them in a blanket loosely and mock tied Li’s hands behind his back. It took some doing but eventually they were arranged so Li was practically holding the hilt of his odd-looking sword while Jacob held the scabbard and his bow and quiver wrapped in a bundle of clothes. They headed off and around the ridge. I held my breath.