by Tyler Grey
“LaNom?” I exclaimed.
“Mais Oui. Yes. I got your resume, and I like what I see. You have a certain je ne sais quoi that I can’t quite put my finger on. I see you have not had a great deal of experience, but we are specifically looking for people like you to train. Would you be interested in coming to work with us? We are looking for someone to start quite soon. The pay is good, and we will also offer you accommodations for the first year.”
I couldn’t believe what was happening. A job in Belgium? It sounded like a dream to me. This had obviously everything to do with my mother sending my resume out. I wondered how she had managed to get it out all the way there. What had they seen in me that was so special? I was speechless. I only realized that I hadn’t answered when the man spoke again.
“Alice? Are you there?”
I gulped. “Yes. I’m here. Sorry, I’m just so surprised.”
He laughed. “I hope that surprise is a good thing?”
“Of course.”
“I’m not expecting an answer on the phone. I know you need to go back and think about this. I just wanted to call and let you know. I am going to email you the details, but if you don’t mind letting me know as soon as possible I would really appreciate it.” His accent melted between French and English throughout the conversation, almost like he was singing a song.
“Of course. I will most definitely let you know soon. Thank you very much for calling me with the news. I apologize for my response; I am very tongue-tied.”
I stared at the phone once I had put it down, trying to make sense of what had happened. Just before the call, I had been thinking about how happy I was with Jacob and how I was going to stay for longer than the six months I had initially planned. What was I going to do now? This was a huge offer to turn down, and yet I was surprised by how pulled I was by this decision. If anyone had asked me a few months ago, I would’ve jumped at the chance, but now I wasn’t so sure. I wasn’t sure if I could leave Jacob. Was I crazy to think that? Where exactly did I think things were going with us? I saw that it was time to go to work, so I tried to push the thought out my head. I would think about it during the day, check the email later and then make a decision. There was no reason for me to decide right away.
The moment I got to work, I saw Jacob standing all dressed as if he was ready to go out.
“Hello!” I said, and walked up to kiss him hello. I was just going to kiss him on the cheek, but he held my waist and pulled me in towards him for a proper kiss. “Wow, that was nice,” I said.
He grinned. “I’m glad you think so. I’ve decided to take you out.”
“Out? Where?”
“Well, I thought we could go somewhere to eat. I have this great place to take you to. It’s one of those places that do breakfast all day.”
“I love breakfast for lunch. That’s a great idea. You sure you don’t want me to cook for you, though?”
“I’m sure. I feel like a bit of walk, anyway.”
“Okay, great. Let me pack this food away, and we can go. Oh, hi, Tank,” I said as the dog came bounding up towards me. I bent down and gave him a kiss. I sure was doing a lot of kissing at this job.
I packed away the food and the three of us headed out. Jacob was saying something to me, but I wasn’t listening properly because I couldn’t stop thinking about the phone call that I had received.
“Earth to Alice. Everything okay?” he asked.
“Ah, sorry. Uh…actually…I had some news this morning.”
“Good or bad?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Want to talk about it?”
I sighed. “Well, I got a call from a very prestigious restaurant in Belgium. They somehow got my resume,” I said, because I didn’t want him to know how much my mother hated that I was working for him. “They’ve offered me a job.”
“In Belgium?”
“Yeah, isn’t that crazy? I mean, it’s such a huge opportunity. I have no idea why they would want me, though. I don’t have much experience. It’s so crazy. I still can’t believe it actually happened.”
“What did you say? Did you give them an answer?”
“They were kind enough to let me think about it. I think the man could hear how surprised I was. He said he’s going to email me all the details, but he’s asked me to let him know soon.”
“What did the email say?”
“I don’t know. I literally got the call just before coming to work. I guess he’ll send it later.”
“Wow, Alice. This is huge,” Jacob said. “Congratulations. If anyone deserves something like this, it is definitely you. So, what are you going to do? When do you leave?”
“Leave? I haven’t decided yet if I’m even going to take it. I know I need to decide soon, but I’m honestly not sure.”
“Why on earth not?” he asked.
“Well…” I said nervously. “I’m really enjoying my job with you. I’m not sure if I want to give that up. Even for a job in Belgium.”
“I would understand if you wanted to go, Alice,” he said, but when I turned to look at him, I noticed a smile playing on his face.
“Would you want me to stay?” I asked.
“I would definitely want you to stay, but I’m not going to hold it against you if you want to go, either. This is a huge deal for you.”
I sighed. “Yeah, I know. Well, I’ll see what the email says. It’s a lot to think about right now. I wasn’t expecting this at all.”
“Alice, don’t let me hold you back,” he said seriously. “Please, that is the last thing I want to do. You’re an amazing chef, and I don’t want you to think you have to stay behind for me.”
“Don’t worry, Jacob, you’re not holding me back. If I stay, it’s because I want to stay. I’m definitely going to read the email though and give it some more thought. I’m not crossing it off completely, but I am going to think about it. Right now, I just want to enjoy my breakfast for lunch with you.”
Jacob drew a deep breath and nodded. I wondered what he was thinking. It didn’t look like he wanted me to go, and that made me happier than I realized. Could I put whatever it was that we had before the chance of an amazing career opportunity? My mother would kill me, but I had always believed in following my heart. “Okay, so I came here with Hayden the other day, and I think I know where I’m going. Is there a big green building on our left?”
I looked to the left and nodded. “Yep.”
“Good. It’s a little further down. It’s the last café on this road. You’ll have to let me know when we get there. It’s called Marcia’s.”
“Oh, I’ve heard of that place. I’ve never been, though.”
“It’s great. You’re going to love it. I think it might even impress a chef like you.”
I chuckled. “I should’ve worn my bacon and egg pajamas for this occasion.”
He laughed. “You should’ve!”
We walked to the end of the road, and I saw the sign for the café. “We’re here,” I said.
The place was great, a small café with a lovely atmosphere. I found us a booth and helped Jacob find his seat. I had a look at the menu and grinned. It was just the sort of food I was hoping for that day, and I couldn’t wait to place my order. I ran through some of the options with Jacob, and we said that we would have to come a few times because everything sounded so nice. I couldn’t make up my mind on whether I wanted to indulge in something sweet, like waffles, or go for something more savory. I was so busy smiling at the menu and talking to Jacob that I didn’t notice a waitress staring at me from across the room.
“Alice? Alice Bozeman?” she said when she got to me.
I looked up at the sound of my name and saw Mary Hutchinson, a face I had not seen in years. I couldn’t believe how much she still looked like the girl I’d seen all those years ago. The years had been kind to her. We’d been in the same class together for two years. She had never been horrible to me, but she’d also never stood up for me. She’d been too busy do
ing everything that Jacob said to her. Jacob! I gasped.
“Bozeman?” he said.
Mary obviously hadn’t noticed what had just transpired. She was too busy gawking at me. “I must say, this is a sight I never thought I’d see. The two of you here together, laughing. I saw Jacob the other day, but I haven’t seen you in years, Alice. Probably because I’ve been overseas for so long. I only got back last year. Wow, you look amazing. I must say, the years have been very kind to you. Now, what can I get you to drink? I’d love to hang around and chat, but the owner doesn’t like us talking to customers too much.”
“Coffee,” I managed to squeak out.
“Coffee, coming right up,” Mary said and bounded out.
“Bozeman?” Jacob said again. The first time he’d said it, he had seemed confused, as if the name sounded familiar to him, but he couldn’t place why. The second time he said it, I could tell that he knew who I was. The penny had dropped. “Alice Bozeman,” he whispered to himself and shook his head.
Shit!
Chapter 27
Jacob
Alice Bozeman. Alice Bozeman. The name played over and over again in my head. At first, I couldn’t understand why the name had sounded so familiar and why Mary had said it was strange to see the two of us together. Then, the memories trickled through. Slowly at first, and then harder and faster. That was why she had seemed so familiar to me when we’d first met. It had nothing to do with a connection that the two of us had. I’d just known her from my past. I’d… I’d made her life a living hell. Mary had gone now, and Alice wasn’t saying anything. Neither was I. The silence grew loud between us as I struggled over what to say to her.
“Do you want to go back home?” she asked quietly.
“Yes.”
We stood up just as Mary came back with our coffees. I usually loved the smell of caffeine, but it now seemed too strong to me. It made me want to throw up.
“You leaving? But you haven’t had your coffee!” she said. Mary annoyed me. She had that overly bright voice that didn’t at all sound sincere. She’d been so nice to me when I’d come here the week before with Hayden, but I was sure that she had just gone straight home to tell everyone that the boy from school was now blind.
“Sorry, Mary. I’m not feeling well. It just sort of crept up on me,” I said. I wasn’t sure why I was even making excuses.
“Oh, what a pity. Well, the two of you must please come back. I’d love to know how the two of you became friends. And Alice, I would love to see you again. You look absolutely gorgeous. You’ve certainly grown up to be a beautiful woman. I’m glad to see the two of you have made amends. I tell you what, I—”
“Mary,” I interrupted. “I’m really not feeling well. I have to go.”
“Oh goodness. Of course. Of course. Don’t mind me. Feel better soon, okay? And you two come back here soon.”
We walked out the café in silence. This time Alice didn’t hold my arm. I used my stick and Tank to lead the way. I thought of asking her to leave, but I was scared I’d get flustered and forget how to get home. I needed her, and that frustrated me more than anything else. I wasn’t even sure if I was even angry at her. I was, for not telling, but I was also incredibly embarrassed by what I’d learned. The walk was long, with neither of us saying a word to one another. When I got home, I sat on the sofa and felt Tank jump up beside me. He probably sensed that something was wrong with me because he lay his head and his paws on my lap as if to comfort me.
“Let me make us something to eat,” Alice said.
“No. I think it’s better that you go. I need to be alone.”
“But…”
“Alice, it’s fine. I can manage without you. I’m sorry, I just really need to get my head straight. I’m so confused.”
“Can we talk about this?” she said.
“Not just yet. I need to think.”
“Okay. I’m sorry for not telling you, Jacob. I hope you understand why. I didn’t want to keep it a secret from you, but I had no idea how to tell you. I never thought we’d actually become friends, and I definitely never thought I’d end up liking you. But it is what it is. I’m just so sorry that I wasn’t honest with you. The more I left it, the more unsure I was how to tell you.”
“You’re saying sorry to me?” I said, and shook my head. I couldn’t believe this. How could she be so forgiving after everything I had put her through? “You don’t have to apologize for anything. I just need to be alone for today. I need a bit of time to process all of this. I’m sorry.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
She closed the door behind her, and I exhaled. I hadn’t even realized that I’d been holding my breath until that moment. When she was gone, I stroked Tank’s head.
“Oh my boy, what have I done?” I said to the dog. For once I was glad that he couldn’t understand what was going on and glad that he couldn’t understand me. I was so ashamed. Why had Alice taken the job if she knew who I was? Which clearly, she did. Was she trying to get back at me? Was this some sort of revenge for what I had done to her? I wouldn’t blame her if that was the case. It would’ve been the perfect revenge, too. Make me fall in love with her and then ditch me. What a great way to get me back. And yet, I wasn’t sure if that was even true. I had a strong feeling that Alice was simply a good person and that she had given me a second chance. I thought of all the times Alice had been quiet, all the times I’d asked her about her past and she hadn’t said anything. She probably hated that she was giving me another chance, but she was such a good person that she’d done it anyway. And the worst part was that I knew she’d always been a good person, even when she was just a kid. I was the one that was horrible. I didn’t know what to think anymore. I couldn’t believe that the girl I had literally tormented through grade school was back in my life. I couldn’t believe that she had been so kind to me when she could easily have knocked me to the ground. I deserved to be blind, and she deserved better than me.
I had tried very hard to forget about my past. I was a different man now, but I knew it didn’t take away what had happened. Nothing could take that away. I was a terrible kid. I used to blame my father for making that way, but I knew I had nobody to blame but myself. I should’ve looked at my father and promised myself that I would be nothing like him. Instead, I’d done exactly what he had done and bullied my way through school. I was a scared little boy, petrified that nobody would like me. I hated myself, and the only way I knew how to get through was to make other people feel horrible.
Alice had been the perfect target, not because she was weak, but because she had been the only one to stand up to me. I’d been so angry that first time I’d teased her. Most people just said they were sorry and asked what they could do for me. But not Alice. She held her head up high even though I could see it hurt her. I turned the whole school against her. Everyone except her friend. I couldn’t even remember her friend's name now. I thought hard. Lauren? Laura? Laurie! That was it. Laurie. For some reason, I had never teased Laurie. Once I had my sights on Alice, I had stuck with her. Oh, I teased many of the other kids, and I made them do my dirty work for me, but I never teased anyone as much as I teased Alice. I’d called her a clown. I’d stolen her books. I’d copied her homework. I’d put bugs in her sandwich. Once I even tripped her so that she fell with her entire skirt up over her head. The whole class had seen her underwear and had mocked her and laughed at for days on end. I was always amazed that nobody had stood up for her. I used to try and see how far I could push her. I wanted to see if anyone would eventually stop me and tell that what I was doing was wrong. But nobody did. Only Laurie stayed by her side.
A memory came to me, and I wanted to crawl under the sofa and hide forever at it. It was a very specific memory that I had tried desperately to forget over the years. We had all gone away on a school trip, and I’d snuck into the girls’ room and found her bag. I knew it was hers because we all had to have name tags attached to the bags. I dug inside until I found her shampoo
, and then I put some hair dye in that I had stolen from my mother’s cupboard at home. It was so light, you could barely tell, but it turned hair bright red. My mother had used it once and her hair had come out a horrible color. I had no idea why she still had the stuff, but I’d been so excited when I’d seen it. When Alice walked into the breakfast hall the next morning, she was wearing a hat. The teacher asked her to take it off, but she refused. Finally, the teacher walked up to her and yanked the hat off her head, and the entire group of students burst out laughing.
Her hair was tinged red, not as bright as I thought it was going to be, and when the teacher reached out to touch it, a whole handful fell out. The teacher gasped and Alice ran out of the room. She was picked up the next day and never came back for the trip. We saw her a week later at school. Her hair had been cut short, and the color had ben dyed back to normal, but it took a long time to look right again. Everyone knew it was me, and I was sure that this included the teacher, but there was no proof. I never got called out for it, not even by Alice. Once I’d caught her looking at me with an expression of sadness on her face, but the moment we had locked eyes, she’d turned away. To this day I could remember that look on her face, and it still brought me shame. I wanted to run up to her and tell her I sorry I was, but I couldn’t do it. Not after I’d teased her so much. I couldn’t let the other kids see me become soft. So I continued to pretend, because it was so much easier.
The more I thought about the past, the more the memories returned. I’d buried them a long time ago. I’d become a different person, and I’d done everything in my power to change into someone good and respectable. But did it take away from what I did to her? I wasn’t sure. I needed to say sorry to her, but I wasn’t sure how to ever speak to her again. Perhaps it was a good thing that I was blind. It meant I didn’t have to see the look of sadness on her face. I had made the most wonderful girl in the world sad, and I could never forgive myself for that. But not having her by my side made me feel even worse. I wasn’t sure I could live with her, but I wasn’t sure I could live without her.
