Jack (For The Love Of A Good Woman Book 1)

by Giulia Lagomarsino

  “I got a reservation at the hotel in town.” I nodded. “Goodbye, Jack.”

  She walked out the door and I stayed sitting on the floor staring at the ground. When her car started and pulled away, I stood, grabbed the coffee table and flung it over with a roar.

  “Fuck!” I walked over to the wall and punched it several times. Blood dripped down my hand, but I didn’t feel a thing besides the tightening of my chest. I needed something to numb the pain because I was pretty sure my heart had just been ripped out of my chest. I headed to the liquor cabinet. Scotch would be my friend tonight.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Harper

  I pulled into the hotel downtown, unloaded my luggage, and checked in on autopilot. I didn’t say anything more than I had to or look anyone in the eye. If I did, I would break down and I didn’t want to cause a scene. I wanted to get to my room and break down in private. When I got to my room, I walked to the bed and sat down numbly on the bed. I must have stared at the floor for a good hour. I was filled with indecision. I wanted so badly to run out the door and go back to Jack, but we wanted different things. That wouldn’t help either of us in the end.

  I went into the bathroom and filled the old fashioned claw foot tub with hot water and bubbles, stripped my clothes, and climbed in. I stayed in the tub until the water turned cold, thinking about my life with Jack. It was happy. I hadn’t remembered ever being so happy in all my life. I had a family and friends with him. Agnes had become a mother to me. I hadn’t spoken to my own mother in months and I doubted I would again for a long while.

  I dried myself off and climbed into bed. I stared at the wall for a while, but sleep finally took ahold of me and pulled me under. When I woke, I was disoriented and couldn’t figure out where I was. Then it hit me like a semi truck. I was alone again. I would never kiss Jack again or feel his warmth at night. I wouldn’t hear him make fun of me or see his beautiful smile. I would have to stay away from all our regular hangouts to avoid running into him and his friends. His friends. Not only was I losing Jack, but I was losing the friendships that I had built during my relationship with him. I could still hang out with Anna, but Luke had become good friends with the guys and I couldn’t interfere with that, even though Luke and I were childhood friends.

  I cried for a few hours before falling asleep again. I slept the whole morning, only waking to a pounding on the door. I hurried out of bed, my heart pounding in excitement. It had to be Jack. When I looked through the peephole, disappointment ripped through me. It wasn’t Jack. It was Anna.

  I opened the door and took one look at Anna’s sad face and burst into tears. Anna came in and held me, rubbing my back as she guided me back to the bed. I told Anna everything that happened between us over the past few days.

  “How did you know I was here?”

  “Jack called. He said you broke up and asked me to come check on you. He sounded pretty rough. He didn’t explain, so I have no idea what happened.”

  The tears wouldn’t stop now that the floodgates had opened. I laid my head in my best friend’s lap, but it wasn’t the comfort I needed. I wished that I had Jack, but if I couldn’t have him, I wanted Agnes. That wouldn’t be fair though. She was Jack’s mother and it wouldn’t be fair to Jack to go over and cry on her shoulder. She had become like a mother to me and I wished more than anything that I had that right now.

  “I miss him so much. I can’t believe it’s over. I wanted so badly to stay, but I forced myself to go. I don’t think I would have been able to if I had stayed any longer. I would have convinced myself that I could live without kids and then I would have been miserable or always hoping he would change his mind. I know it’s better this way, but it sucks.”

  I laid in bed with Anna for a while and then Anna insisted on ordering room service and watching movies. I had no desire to do that, but she was trying to help, so I let her. I wanted to sink down into the bed and close my eyes. I didn’t want to face the world, but I knew Anna wouldn’t leave until she was satisfied I would be okay. When the movie was over, I insisted that Anna leave so that I could get some sleep.

  I slept like a rock all night and well into the next day. I found that getting up to go to the bathroom was a difficult task. It was strange how I could sleep all night, but still feel like I had been up for three days. I climbed back into bed and slept a while longer. When I woke up, it was seven o’clock at night. I had basically slept for twenty-four hours. I was still exhausted, but decided I needed to eat something and start looking for a new place to live.

  Since I had lived with Jack for about five months, I had some money set aside and would have no problem getting something to rent. The problem was, I didn’t have any furniture, kitchen items, or even a bed. We had sold all my stuff when I moved in with Jack. I was kicking myself now, wishing I had listened to my gut when it told me not to move in with him. I wouldn’t trade that time for anything, but now I was stuck and I knew this had been a possibility. I ordered some food from room service and started searching listings for furnished rentals. I came across a cute little house that looked to be in my price range. It would be lonely to live by myself again. I had woken up next to Jack and gone to bed with him every night for five months. The silence would be deafening.

  I scheduled an appointment online to view the property tomorrow. My food arrived and I pretended to eat it. The food had moved around my plate, so it gave the appearance of being eaten. I pushed the tray to the side of the bed and laid back down. I turned the television on, but everything was a romantic comedy, news, or murder mysteries. What I needed was…well I wasn’t sure what I needed. Nothing seemed to be appropriate for my mood, so I switched the television off, took my tray to the door, and climbed back into bed.

  The next morning, I decided to get up and take a shower. I really smelled and I was sure my sheets did too. The appointment with the realtor was in an hour, so I dressed and went downstairs for breakfast. I made sure to remove the Do Not Disturb sign as I left. If that room didn’t get cleaned today, I wasn’t sure it would be sanitary to stay another night.

  The house was in a good neighborhood and it was a two story. It wasn’t very big, but it had an open floor plan downstairs. The front opened to the living room and the kitchen was behind that with a kitchen nook off to the right. To the left, as you walked in, was a staircase. Next to that were a set of french doors that opened into a small office. Past the french doors was the downstairs bathroom and a small hallway that led to the back door. I took the stairs up and saw a short hallway. To the left, at the top of the stairs, was a small bedroom. There was another bedroom directly across from the stairs, and a bathroom at the end of the hall. There was a linen closet to the right of the staircase. It was nothing special, but it would do.

  I walked through the house one more time, looking at everything, trying to see myself living there. The bedrooms were small, but cozy. I had a quilt that my grandmother had made that would go on top of my bed. The other bedroom could be used for storage for now since I didn’t need a second bedroom and didn’t really know anyone that would come stay with me besides my dad, and he had just been here. I walked back downstairs to the most important room. The office. It was an older house, so everything was trimmed in dark wood. It was beautiful, but I had spent a couple of weeks using my office at Jack’s. It was the total opposite and great for writing. This was a sad office.

  I met with the realtor and decided I would take it. I handed over my first and last month’s rent checks, plus security deposit, and headed back to the hotel. The woman told me I could move in at any time and had given me a key. I got back to my room and flopped down on the bed. Usually, getting something new was exciting. This depressed me more than I already was. I curled up in a ball, still in my coat and shoes, and went to sleep.

  Some time later, I woke to my phone ringing. I looked at the screen to see it was Jack calling. I tried to answer the phone, but I wasn’t fast enough. I was just about to call him back when the voicema
il sounded. Better to check the voicemail first. When I heard Jack’s voice, I almost broke down in tears.

  “Hey, baby. I mean Harper. It’s..uh.. It’s Jack. I was just calling because your shit is here and I don’t know what you need. I packed it up already so it’s ready whenever you need it. Anna says you’re staying at the hotel downtown, but I doubt they’ll let me drop it there. Just call me back and let me know when and where and I’ll get it where it needs to go…..Bye Harper.”

  That’s it? Seriously? He had already packed my stuff and had it ready to drop off. I had never felt so expendable in all my life. I dialed Anna, knowing I was about to explode.

  “Hello?”

  “He packed my shit already! He packed it! Just like that. All done.”

  I paced the room as I talked to her. I needed to punch something to let out my aggression.

  “I’ll be right there, Harper. Just hang on.” She hung up without another word. I paced around the room fuming until Anna finally arrived.

  “Listen to the message.” I thrust the phone at Anna and stared at her while she listened. When Anna was done, she handed the phone back. She had a confused look on her face. Her brows were furrowed and she chewed on her bottom lip.

  “It doesn’t make sense. He’s a wreck. This just doesn’t make any sense.”

  “I don’t understand. How does someone just move on like that. He packed up my stuff like he would move it out and life would go on.”

  The tears started to come before I had a chance to rein in my emotions and I hated myself for that. I had never been a crier. “I can barely get out of bed. I haven’t been eating. I only showered once in the past few days and that was because I could smell myself. How did he just erase me like that?” I slid to the floor and cried as Anna held me.

  “Maybe he thought if he moved your stuff out it wouldn’t hurt so much. Men do silly things like that. All I know is that he’s a wreck, Harper. Luke went over there the other day while I was here. He said Jack looked horrible. There was a broken coffee table and holes in the wall. That doesn’t sound like someone who is handling it well to me.”

  My crying slowed and I wiped my nose on my sleeve. “Maybe you’re right. I need to let him know where to take my stuff. I don’t need to spend anymore money at this hotel.”

  “Where are you going?” I totally forgot to let Anna know.

  “I’m renting a furnished house. I don’t have any of my stuff from before, so I had to find something that already had everything….If I give you the information, will you make arrangements with Jack about having my stuff brought over? I don’t think I’m ready yet.”

  “Sure, honey.”

  I checked out the next morning, but when I went to pay the bill, the manager said the bill had already been settled. Apparently, Jack had come by and told them to charge everything to his card. That man was so sweet. How did I think for one minute that he was over me already? I headed over to the new house and stood in the doorway feeling depressed. It was a nice house, but I couldn’t get over how much her life had changed in a year.

  I took my bags upstairs and started to unpack my clothes. Then, I got in my car and headed to the grocery store. I was very selective in what I bought. I was making better money now, but I was also taking care of all the bills. What if my next book didn’t do as well? No, I needed to stay on a tight budget for now.

  I was in the meat department buying some chicken when I saw a frozen turkey in the next case over. At first, a few tears fell, but then I was all out sobbing in the middle of the store. A woman came over to see if I was okay.

  “Dear, are you alright? Can I do something for you?”

  “Can you make the man I love want to have children with me? Because if you can’t do that, there is nothing anyone can do!”

  “I’m so sorry, honey.” The woman looked at me with sad eyes. I stared at that turkey, hating it for all the memories it brought back, but when I saw a woman reach into the case to grab it, I flipped out.

  “Don’t you dare touch that turkey! It’s mine!” I reached forward and grabbed the turkey and put it in my cart. The lady scurried away, looking at me like I was nuts. And I was nuts. I was in the grocery store sobbing over a turkey. The old lady that was trying to comfort me was looking at me with wary eyes.

  “Is there a problem here?”

  I turned around to see the same store manager from the Thanksgiving incident standing in front of me. My eyes slid shut and I knew I was in trouble. That didn’t stop my temper from getting the better of me though.

  “Oh, that’s just perfect. Of course it’s you! My day just keeps getting better and better. Do you know that I just lost my boyfriend? After all I went through with that last turkey and in the end it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered, except the one thing that did matter, and then it all fell apart. And here we are, again, back to the turkey!”

  I threw my hands in the air and looked up at the ceiling like I was praying for a miracle. I was standing in sweatpants, a ratty t-shirt, and an open wool trench coat. My hair was thrown in a messy ponytail and I was pretty sure I hadn’t brushed my teeth yet today. I was a mess and I was acting like a total basket case.

  “Ma’am, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave the store.” I sighed in defeat.

  “Sure, just let me finish my shopping and I’ll be out of your hair.”

  “No, ma’am. I’m afraid you’re going to have to leave right now. You’re causing a disturbance. Again.”

  “Listen mister, I’m sure you’re just doing your job, but have a heart. I lost my boyfriend, had to find a new home, and have no groceries in the house. Just let me finish my shopping and I’ll be gone.”

  Tears pricked my eyes as I felt a meltdown coming on. I was going to lose it at any second, or maybe I already had and that’s why I was being asked to leave. I knew my face was swollen from crying and my eyes were bloodshot. It was my second freak out in a grocery store, over a turkey, in a little over a month. I was going to have to find a new place to shop.

  I heard the manager calling for security so I decided to be proactive. I pulled out my phone and called Sean. I had programmed his number in my phone after the last incident. He answered on the first ring.

  “Hey, honey. How ya doing?”

  His voice was sweet and sad. He had obviously heard about Jack and I. This was a little awkward, but I couldn’t allow that to get in the way right now.

  “Um, Sean, I need your help. I’m kind of in trouble.”

  “Where are you?”

  “The grocery store.”

  “Again? Jesus, Harper. Find a new spot to have a melt down. I’ll be right there,” he said with a sigh.

  In the meantime, security had walked over and started to escort me to the back room that I was so well acquainted with. Then I heard Sean.

  “Excuse me! Sir.” The guard turned and Sean raised his badge. “You are the manager, correct” he said to the guy on the other side of me.

  “Yes I am.”

  “Can I have a moment of your time please?” The manager nodded his head.

  “I understand Ms. Abbot here has gotten herself into a little trouble again. What was it this time? A chicken?” He was trying to lighten the mood, but it fell flat when the manager answered.

  “No, it was a turkey again.” I lowered my head so Sean couldn’t see my face.

  “Seriously, Harper? Another turkey? You didn’t hit anyone with it, did you?” I started crying. This was all too much and I wasn’t sure I could take going to jail for the night on top of it. Sean’s face softened and he turned back to the manager.

  “Look, I’m sure we can come to some kind of understanding here, Mr. Smith.”

  “I don’t think so. She has caused two disturbances in my store in less than two months. I can’t have that going on here. I have a business to run.”

  “Look, what if she promises to not come back in the store for two months?”

  “Banned for life.” Sean’s eyes went wide.

/>   “Six months,” he countered.

  “Life,” the manager said.

  “Life. And you don’t file any charges?”

  The manager agreed and Sean walked me out of the store to my car. “Harper, please don’t come back here. I don’t know if I can get him to drop the charges if there’s another encounter. I’m sorry, but you’re gonna have to go grocery shopping somewhere else.”

  I gave a watery smile to Sean. He really was a great man to come to my rescue. I had caused trouble enough for him. “Thank you so much for your help. I’m not myself and I kinda lost it in there. I promise not to be any more trouble.”

  I reached up and gave him a hug, knowing that it was probably the last time I would see him. I got in my car and headed to my lonely house. Who needed to eat, right?

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Jack

  I was lying on my back, barely conscious out on my couch. My arm was hanging over the edge, clutching a whiskey bottle. There wasn’t much left, most was in my stomach, but some had spilled on the floor. I was floating in and out of consciousness when I heard a banging on the door. I was trying really hard to get up, but I just couldn’t get there. I rolled over and fell flat on my face on the floor. My arms hadn’t even made a move to catch me.

  My face was smooshed against the carpet right in a puddle of whiskey and I had a strong desire to start lapping at the carpet. I would take the alcohol any way I could. I didn’t want to feel a thing. I heard the pounding again, but my body wouldn’t cooperate. I floated off in my dream world where Harper was still here and I was still happy. Then I really was floating, well, sort of. I was being hauled up by my armpits and dragged over to the kitchen table. My head fell against the table with a thud.