Make Me

by Suzanne Steele

  Linda

  I make my way into work the next day with a new vigor. I am never of the temperament to let a man get in the way of my business. I have been making my own way from the time I was sixteen and if I know how to do anything, it’s survive.

  “Okay ladies, we are down to the wire on this show. This weekend at ‘The Dungeon’ we will experience the big reveal. You ladies have done quite well, granted, I have had to nip at your heels some.” I chuckle, as I continue speaking. “I am only doing it to produce excellence. Regardless of what people’s opinions are about reality TV, it’s hot in pop culture right now and I want all of us to put out the quality I know we are all capable of.”

  There is a commotion in the room and I look up from my tablet to view a mass of flowers with a voice coming from behind them. “Linda Jenkins?”

  I nod at my assistant to go and take care of it, as I chuckle at the—“Oh, who sent her flowers,” and the other various responses the florist evoked from the ladies. I want these girls to keep their minds on business. Many times accomplishing that means me doing a certain amount of ‘herding’ to keep them going in the right direction.

  “Okay ladies, back to work and have a great day.”

  I have phone calls to make so I head back to my office. The huge vase of flowers on my desk is beautiful, but the smell is what catches my attention. Two dozen roses have made their presence known to more than just one of my senses. I don’t take the time to read the card because I have already guessed who they were probably from.

  I sit down and begin the task of making phone calls and answering e-mails. I’m so engulfed in the phone call I am presently on and the task of having five or six windows on my computer open that I didn’t notice David entering my office.

  I continue my phone call and eye him just to let him know that I am aware of his presence. I watch as he loosens his tie and moves his neck back and forth as if he is irritated.

  The straight line of his thin lips clearly lets me know he isn’t pleased about the flowers, not that I could care any less than I already do.

  He pops the card out of the holder and flicks his thumb over it, making a popping sound as he reads it aloud.

  Beautiful Lady,

  Here’s to keeping it real…

  Yours, Greg…

  The disgust on his face is evident, as evident as my attitude of being composed and unperturbed. I watch as he turns sharply on the toe of his designer shoe and makes his way out the door.

  Works for me, David. Works for me…

  It also works for me that Greg calls and invites me to lunch. I find myself saying yes to his invitation in part due to being pissed at David, and in part due to the fact that I really enjoyed his company last night.

  He tells me where to meet him and I’m glad he didn’t offer to pick me up because of the tension between David and me right now. I don’t want to do anything to take his mind off of getting through this TV show. Whether I like it or not, I still need him to finish out this week and then we can both go our separate ways.

  Chapter Twenty

  Linda

  I sit to have lunch with Greg in a posh dining club. Though part of me had accepted the invitation to prove a point, another part of me had done it because I truly do enjoy his company.

  “It wasn’t necessary to bring me here, Greg. I could have just as easily eaten take-out in the park.”

  “That is one of the reasons that I like you Linda—you keep it real.”

  I set my fork down and look at Greg with sincerity before I speak. I don’t want to offend him with the question that I am getting ready to ask. “Greg, what got you into the BDSM lifestyle?”

  He chuckles, “I like to watch pretty girls squirm.”

  I roll my eyes and threaten him with: “Well, I can always find another Dom to ask…”

  I watch as his expression gets serious. “It boils down to a couple of things for me personally, Linda: Control and trust. I work a crazy job where I see some crazy stuff that has no rhyme or reason to it. I like control in the bedroom.”

  I could feel myself flushing under the heat of his gaze. Why do these guys have to be so intense? It was disarming to say the least.

  “I also require a deeper level of commitment and intensity in my relationships. It is one of two ways with me, Linda: Either it is no strings attached play, or a full on, intense, 24/7, BDSM, monogamous relationship.”

  He leans in with a serious look, pinning me to my chair with his eyes as he speaks. “Linda, whether you realize it or not, you have sub tendencies. Being kinky isn’t something that you do, it’s who you are. You’re born that way, pretty lady.”

  I find that his candidness is making me squirm in my seat and I can’t help but wonder if he has a point.

  This reality show has opened up a new world to me and in just a few days I am going to have to let it go. Whether I want to admit it or not, I will never be the same.

  I can feel a part of me grieving at the thought of letting it go. Unless you have experienced it in some form or another, you really don’t grasp how deeply rooted in you the BDSM lifestyle can become.

  It is like tentacles have wrapped around my soul and I will never be the same. There will always be a hidden part of me now that will gravitate towards others in the lifestyle. I can only hope that it will fill the void that I already feel due to David no longer being part of my life. This is the only time that I can ever remember committing the unpardonable sin in business—never get emotionally involved. I have done just that. I have become emotionally involved with not only David, but the BDSM community as a whole.

  Chapter Twenty One

  Linda

  I make my way into the high end boutique.

  The final shoot and the big reveal is tomorrow night and I need something to wear because I will be hosting the show.

  I’m not crazy about being on TV and I try to just not think about it. Most people don’t realize how nerve racking it can be in front of a TV camera.

  It is very easy for your thought processes to begin running amok when you know there are millions of eyes scrutinizing every detail of the show. Many of these women don’t realize yet that fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. They will learn though—boy, will they ever learn.

  One of the sales girls makes her way over and speaks under her breath, “You’re the lady who is doing that reality show at ‘The Dungeon,’ aren’t you?”

  “Yes. In fact, that is why I’m here. I need something to wear for the big reveal tomorrow.”

  “I bet he picks that Barbie girl because she seems to be the only one who is really into the lifestyle. The rest of them seem like they are just along for the fame ride. David isn’t the type to let the BDSM community be made a mockery of.”

  “Oh, so you know David?” I asked.

  Wanting to kick myself for even giving a shit.

  She giggles under her breath and whispers, “I frequent the club. Every girl in that place wants David as a Dom, but he always tells them that it’s only ‘play.’”

  I can imagine that it is only play being that he is a player.

  She must have read the look on my face because it explains what she says next.

  “Oh no, it isn’t what you think. David is monogamous when he has a sub. David is a widower; you didn’t know? He was married to his sub and she died five years ago in a car accident. Greg, got the drunk driver off on a technicality and they have hated each other ever since.”

  The sales lady continues to chatter on but, to be honest, she lost me after dropping that bomb shell.

  I feel like such an ass for judging David the way that I have. I will wait and get the whole story though; he isn’t getting off the hook that easy.

  Linda

  I am glad for the sales lady who had been able to help me with my wardrobe selection. She had pushed the sparsely sequin laden, chiffon, teal dress in my direction and declared that it was perfect because it would make my eyes pop.

  It is
a lower cut in the front than I would normally wear, but I find that pasties and double sided tape keeps everything in place. I pair it with silver four inch heels that have the same clear sequins, daintily sprinkled over the silver strap that falls just short of my perfectly French manicured toes.

  The bottom of the dress falls in loose ruffles and I find myself twirling in a circle just to see it flare out when the wind hits beneath it. I feel like a princess—with no prince.

  I allow my mind to wander as I finish the last touches on my ensemble. I can’t say that I haven’t lost some respect for Greg when I heard what he has done to David.

  Isn’t the BDSM community supposed to be about having each other’s backs? I chide myself for being naïve in my thinking. Regardless of what community or clique I am dealing with, people are people and we are only human.

  I myself am well aware of grey area business decisions I have made in the past. I know I am only getting the ‘rumor mill’ version of things. I also know there are always two sides to a story… and then there’s the truth.

  I grab my clutch and declare silently to myself, show time. It is time to put anything else on the back burner until after I get through tonight. I’ve got to take care of business and I, of all people, know not to mix business with pleasure—boy, do I ever know…

  Just get through tonight, Linda, just get through tonight.

  David

  I take one last look in the mirror. I have been advised to wear a tux for this last shoot. As far as I’m concerned I’ll wear a bag over my head if it means I get to celebrate this circus being over.

  I run my manicured hand through my long, dark, layered hair. My sharp jaw line and dimpled chin have always been a hit with the ladies, as have my eyes and my thin straight lips that are usually set in a very serious manner. I may look like the internet pics that subs drool over, but it is all the ‘real deal’ with me—No hype—No bullshit!

  If there is one word I would use to describe me, it would be intense. I am known for being a serious, no-bullshit type. Even though many of the subs in my club may fantasize about me being their Dom, very few could handle my fierce nature.

  Even just a scene with me is so violently all-consuming that very few subs will play with me. Sandy is about the only one who can handle my level of intensity.

  Though Sandy is crazy about me, I just don’t have that spark towards her that I need to pursue anything deeper than play. The only person I’ve connected with on a core level, since the death of my wife, is Linda.

  I pull at the cuffs of my shirt, adjust my Rolex, and grab my jacket—it is show time.

  Chapter Twenty Two

  Linda

  I pull up to the club and the valet immediately runs up to my car, followed by a man who appears to be more of a bouncer than a doorman. He pulls me through the mob as he speaks into an ear piece. “She’s here, Sir. Yes, Sir, will do.”

  It is a circus already and I am late, as usual.

  I am ushered through the hall and to an office door. He basically pushes me through the door and leaves me looking into David’s serious countenance.

  Oh shit, talk about a sucker punch.

  David stalks his way over, reaching behind me and locking the door. One of his fingers goes beneath my chin, forcing me to look up at him.

  The words that come through his snarled lips drip sarcasm. “This joke of a realty show I’ve subjected myself to in the name of ‘Doing the right thing,’ is over tonight.

  Part of me wants to be offended about his dig at my reality show, but I don’t have the nerve, not under that gaze of his. He never takes his eyes off of me as the finger that he has under my chin moves to trail down the skin that my low cut, v-neck reveals. “When the circus is over, I’m the new ring master. I’m going to take you back to one of those playrooms and show you just how much I appreciate you getting flowers from my archenemy.”

  “I didn’t know, David.”

  “Bzzzz, wrong fucking answer. I think that you should probably just listen. After all, the game clock truly is ticking.”

  The toe of his designer shoes kicks at my heel.

  “David?”

  The look on his face dares me to argue with him.

  I palm the wall with the back of my hands and move them apart. His voice is barely above a whisper, which only serves to make the moment feel more sinister in nature.

  He never takes his eyes off of me as he hooks his thumbs in my g-string and pulls it down, commanding me to kick it the rest of the way off.

  He speaks in my ear as his fingers stroke through the wetness between my spread legs. “I’m keeping your underwear and later on…I’m going to gag you with them as I discipline you. I’ll be on your mind the whole time you are behind that TV camera with no panties on. He drags the words out slowly for emphasis as he glares at me. His fingers continue to work their magic as he alternates rolling over my clit and dipping into my opening.

  “Right about now would be the time for you to ask me for permission to come, or you are only making it worse for yourself later when I discipline you.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding, David?” My breathing is raspy and my words come out broken.

  “I never kid about discipline! I thought you and I had already settled that.”

  “Oh fuck. David, pleeeeeeeeeeeze.”

  “Come… all over my hand… because all I am going to do is wipe it off with a handkerchief so your scent will remain on my hand. Every time you see my hand anywhere near my face, you’ll know I’m thinking about all the ways that I am going to violate you later.”

  I lose it. My body convulses against that wall and it leaves my knees so weak, that the only thing holding me up is David.

  He smirks as he wipes his fingers off on a handkerchief and puts my panties in his tuxedo pocket.

  “Maybe if I get in a real sadistic mood later, I’ll pull them out of my pocket on camera.”

  “You wouldn’t!”

  The serious expression on his face is not putting my mind at ease.

  I make my way to his bathroom, freshen up, and head out to the circus that I will be ‘Ring Master’ of for one more night. I did have to chuckle at that.

  Linda

  I stand with my co-host, Paul, and watch the cameraman’s countdown, waiting as he holds three fingers up and silently mouths: three, two, one…

  “We have got an excited crowd here tonight, Paul.”

  “Yes we do, Linda. I have to honestly say this is one of the largest crowds we have witnessed to date.”

  “Yes, Paul, and I have to admit I am going to miss this bunch.”

  Paul and I go back and forth with one another as the clock winds down to the big reveal. Even I’m not certain who David is going to pick; contracts forbid anyone knowing before tonight. I find myself getting caught up in the crowd’s excitement. I am glad I’m having fun. It beats being stressed on TV any day.

  “Well, don’t you have some questions for our Dom contestant, Linda?”

  Thanks Paul, I was hoping that you would do that. Way to put a girl on the spot.

  “Absolutely, there is nothing that I would love more.”

  I make my way up to David and brace myself for the nervousness I am already feeling from our earlier encounter.

  “Well David, what exactly helped you to make your decision?”

  David lightly scratched at his nose, like he is thinking, but the amused look on his face clearly informs me he is making good on his threat of keeping my scent close to him.

  “It’s all about chemistry for me. I can honestly say that the woman I have chosen is a friend, as well as a contestant.”

  I immediately know there is double meaning to the words he is speaking.

  “Well that leads us to the big question everyone wants to know the answer to—who did you pick David?”

  David turns and eyes Barbie as he holds out his hand towards her. She makes her way over and he sincerely acknowledges her as he asks: “Barbie, will you
accept this collar?”

  A beautiful, white gold, diamond studded collar is presented to her as she hugs David and screeches “yes” for the camera’s sake.

  No one will ever know their reasoning behind what they are doing. Their decision has been made for the community’s sake, not their own. If David and Barbie were only thinking of themselves, they would have walked out on the show a long time ago.

  David speaks so low that I barely hear him.

  “I’m going to gag you with your panties later while I discipline your ass.”

  I immediately feel my heart race and turned towards Paul. “Well, Paul, do you have any questions that you would like to ask our contestant?”

  I hear David’s deep laughter behind me; he knows I’m avoiding him.

  The rest of the show goes off without a hitch and I can’t say that I’m not having the same feelings of relief that David and Barbie are having. I am glad these six weeks are over.

  Greg

  I watch the interaction between David and Linda and it only confirms what I already feared—they are fucking. Though my interest in her in the beginning had been solely to irritate David, I’ve actually grown quite fond of her. Now I’m faced with the dilemma of Dom protocol. To move in on another Dom’s sub in the BDSM community is looked down on. A smirk crosses my face as I think, she isn’t collared.

  It is true; Linda isn’t collared. This gives me a grey area to work with. As a lawyer, I know all about the truth being ‘relevant.’ I also know that the Dom who introduces a sub to the lifestyle is the Dom who remains in her head for the rest of her days. To put it simply, you NEVER forgot your first. I’m just too fascinated by her to let her go. Just because I’m not her first, doesn’t mean I won’t be her Dom one day.

  Linda

  I stand at the bar, slam back two shots of Patron, and am working on a glass of wine when I look up and see Trent glaring at me in a way only a Dom can do.