Kraken My Heart

by K. L. Hiers

  “So he killed Mire for his key to the pits? Or because Mire was gonna tell you what Visseract was up to with that god?”

  “All good questions to ask him when we find him,” Grell said. “My son was having visions of the world ending, all very contingent on your roommate being taken.”

  “Is it, uh, common for Asra to have visions like this?” Ted asked.

  “No more than a mortal being able to chat up dead people. It’s all a form of starsight, you see, a blessing from the gods. It’s rare amongst the everlasting races, even more so for mortals.”

  “Don’t suppose your son’s visions gave anything else other than ‘world ending bad, save Jay’?”

  “No,” Grell admitted. “The visions aren’t always very clear, but somehow Silenced people are going to be used to end the world, specifically Jay. Visseract is helping Gronoch with this nasty little plan, and that makes him a traitor and probably a murderer. He will pay for his crimes, but not before telling me what he’s up to. Keeping Jay safe remains an immediate priority. Whatever they want to use him for, they will not have him.”

  “Thanks,” Ted said. “Kinda sucks not being able to help. He’s a really good friend.”

  “Somehow this is all connected. Finding out the truth of Mire’s death will hopefully shed some light into why Gronoch wants Silenced souls so terribly.”

  “Kunst was saying they wanted them to make slaves,” Ted reminded him. “But you can’t take souls out of Xenon, right?”

  “No… not unless….” Grell paused to think. “It’s not their souls they’re after. Maybe it was something specific in the pits they were looking for.”

  “What all is down there?”

  “Graves, ancient royal artifacts, some old books,” Grell replied. “Nothing of any significance that I can think of. Nothing that a god should be after.”

  “Shouldn’t we go down there and see?” Ted slurped at his drink. “Gronoch and Visseract didn’t risk a war just to hang out and talk down there.”

  “Worth a look,” Grell agreed. “But rest now. We can go exploring after dinner. It’ll be fun!”

  “Still set on wining and dining me, huh?” Ted grinned, laughing at Grell’s stubborn pout.

  “What?” Grell snapped their drinks away. “I can’t have a little romance?”

  “It’s sweet,” Ted said, his eyes starting to close as he fought back a yawn. “You’re absolutely crazy, but it’s still sweet. Mm, maybe later I’ll find out about those two cocks.”

  “If you’re lucky,” Grell taunted, kissing Ted’s cheek. “Now, sleep.”

  The moment Grell spoke those words, Ted passed right out. He could sense warmth, someone holding him, and he was completely at peace.

  He was certainly dreaming again, because he could hear the roar of the ocean and feel sand beneath him. He was back at the beach, but he didn’t know who he was with.

  Ted could tell that he was upset, his stomach caught in the sensation of falling, and he was nauseated He was trying to find sunscreen, and he couldn’t find it in his bag, but that wasn’t why he was so upset.

  There was something wrong….

  He saw the little boy playing by the shore, but he was suddenly afraid. In a flash, the boy was gone, and all Ted could hear was someone screaming.

  Ted woke up with a sharp gasp, his limbs jerking as if he was still falling.

  Or sinking….

  “Theodore?” Grell’s voice was right beside him, his strong hands pulling him into a tight hold.

  “Grell?” Ted was gasping, shocked to find that he was shaking all over.

  “Bad dreams?” Grell asked, his face wrinkled with concern.

  “I… I don’t…. I don’t know.” Ted found that he could move without pain and surged up from the bed to embrace Grell. He smothered himself against his chest, panting, “I can’t remember.”

  “I’ve got you, love,” Grell soothed, stroking his back and kissing his hair.

  Ted’s pulse fluttered when Grell called him that: love. He should have been running straight for the hills. All of this was happening way too fast, but he couldn’t stop himself from enjoying the rush. He’d tried finding happiness in all the normal ways and failed spectacularly; maybe a bit of abnormal was exactly what he needed.

  Like a cat-monster king with bright eyes and a mouthful of sharp teeth who had given him the best blowjob ever.

  “Nothing will harm you, not as long as I’m around,” Grell continued. “I promise.”

  “Heh. You’ll just eat them, right?” Ted tried to smile.

  “Naturally. What do you do with your enemies?”

  Ted laughed, pulling away with a smile. “Thanks. Sorry for… for all of that.”

  “Emotions don’t frighten me,” Grell promised, petting Ted’s cheek and urging him to stay close. “Only people who don’t cover their coughs and don’t match their socks.”

  “Good to know. Mm, what time is it?”

  “Almost four o’clock in the afternoon. Don’t give me that look. You needed to rest. How’s your leg?”

  “Uh, good, I think?” Ted flexed his leg, reaching down to check the bandage. It disappeared when he touched it and revealed perfectly healed skin. “Yeah. Good. Thank you. So, anything else exciting going on other than only having thirty-somethin’ fuckin’ hours left?”

  “Eh. Murder, drama, all about the same. Ghulk is still crying over almost getting eaten by those Vulgorans. Ah! Speaking of Vulgorans, our dear trusty ol’ Humble Visseract has remained mysteriously absent.”

  “That screams fuckin’ guilty.”

  “Probably.” Grell stroked Ted’s hair, kissing his lips softly and letting it linger.

  Sighing deeply, Ted relaxed into the kiss. He should have been more focused on his pending trial, but he was definitely distracted. He was enjoying all the new affection, leaning into Grell’s fingers and surprised at how hungry he was to be touched.

  He’d been alone for so long, and he found himself chasing Grell’s hand when he pulled away.

  “How are you doing?” Grell asked, studying Ted’s face carefully. “Really?”

  It was a simple question Ted didn’t get asked often.

  Well, he did, but not with any real sincerity.

  He was honestly not sure how to answer. He was so used to saying that he was fine, that he was okay, and that was always so far from the truth. His job was depressing, he saw awful things, and he had been so very lonely.

  What he saw in his line of work haunted him in many ways, often physically, and there were traumas he couldn’t shake. Most people went their whole lives only seeing a few loved ones who had died, and they were usually dressed and peacefully resting in a casket.

  Ted had probably seen thousands, and there was nothing serene or pleasant about pulling someone off a toilet who’d expired a week previously. He had removed decedents from cramped hallways, living room floors, and even a department store dressing room once.

  It had been years of constant death with no outlet, and his unusual ability certainly hadn’t helped. Despite the horror, there were some sweet moments, but they were impossible to describe to another person without sounding insane:

  The giggle of a family sending a leopard-print thong for their grandmother to wear beneath her demure pantsuit, the smile of a man being buried with his beloved taxidermied rooster, or the bittersweet honor of dressing a young child in his favorite superhero costume.

  He got to hear that same grandma complain that she never wore any underwear a day in her life, and the man told him every state title and ribbon his rooster had won.

  Even so, it was hard to find levity in these memories because they were so easily swallowed up in an endless stream of tearful ones.

  Like how the child screamed and cried he didn’t want to leave his parents behind, even if it meant he could be a superhero.

  Ted tried to shut those thoughts down, but the damage was already done. Everything was washing over him like a tidal wave, and he w
as trapped. He didn’t know what to say because his typical reply of “fine” or “okay” would be a blatant lie.

  His agony reached up to curl around his ribs until he couldn’t breathe, and he said the first thing that bubbled up.

  “I’m… scared.”

  “What for?” Grell’s brow creased, and he took hold of Ted’s hand.

  “The whole being on trial for murder thing?” Ted laughed nervously. “Uh, let’s see. My entire religion being wrong? Still haven’t even begun to unwrap that yet. Crazy fish monsters tried to kill us, and oh yeah, apparently I already fucking died at some point.

  “I’m scared because nothing makes sense, and I have no fucking clue what’s going on. I’m so fucking lost. I don’t know what’s gonna happen, and even on another damn world, I’m surrounded by death. I don’t want this. I want….”

  “What do you want?” Grell asked.

  “I want to be happy,” Ted replied helplessly. “Being here with you… that’s, that’s made me happy. And I’m kinda fuckin’ scared of you too.”

  “Of me?” Grell looked startled. “Why, love?”

  “Whatever this is, you and me,” Ted said. “I’m not good at this shit. We just fuckin’ met, and I don’t know if this was just an amazing blowjob or what. I don’t know what we’re doing—”

  “Theodore,” Grell urged. “Listen to me, love. We still have time, and I promise you that you will be cleared of murder charges if it’s the last thing I do. You will be a free man, I swear. And though I can’t begin to understand how difficult it is finding out your little light god isn’t real, I can help you learn about the old gods. I can teach you the ways of the Sages if you’d like. Hell, I’ll teach you how to speak in godstongue if it will make you feel better.”

  “You really mean all that, don’t you?” Ted whispered as his heart clenched, his anger fading in the wake of Grell’s sincerity. “You’d really do all of that for me?”

  “Yes,” Grell promised. He cleared his throat and went on, “As for the amazing blowjob, I’m hoping it was the start of something great. I like you, all right? I’m not sure what the protocols are for a king dating a mortal, but sod it. I’ll make some up.”

  “Dating?” Ted’s face was getting hot.

  “That’s not such a bad idea, is it?” Grell smirked.

  “Thought you weren’t ready for a new relationship,” Ted reminded him.

  “I’m not prepared to take on another queen, but I think I can handle a boyfriend,” Grell said carefully. “You know what I mean. Going steady, being exclusive, updating our status on social media?”

  “Wow.” Ted laughed without meaning to and kissed Grell firmly on his lips. “Mmmph. You really are insane.”

  “Quite a bit,” Grell agreed. “As much fun as it would be to ruin your lush fuzzy body for any other lover and ship you back off to Aeon after the trial, I’m afraid that I would miss you.”

  “Well, we can’t have that, can we?” Ted grinned.

  “Certainly not,” Grell snorted, raising Ted’s hand to kiss it. “We will figure this all out together. The trial, your death, whether or not you can handle two cocks—”

  “Yeah, I’ve got some questions about that—”

  “And oh, I’ll let you wear my varsity jacket. I’ll even save you a spot at lunch.”

  “Okay, wait. How the hell do you know all this human stuff? You’re like a pop culture trash compactor.”

  “I’ll take that as a compliment, and it’s because of television.”

  “You have fuckin’ television?”

  “Uh, duh.” With a snap of Grell’s fingers, a giant flatscreen appeared floating at the foot of the bed. “Don’t tell anyone, but I’m stealing my cable.”

  “Hey! You even got Food Network!” Ted laughed as the channels magically flipped. He grinned from ear to ear and teased, “You seriously are crazy. But thank you. Really. For listening and for actually giving a shit, you know?”

  “Giving a shit just happens to be one of my many immeasurable talents,” Grell said proudly. “I’m also very good at Mario Kart, amigurumi crochet, and Battleship.”

  “I can’t believe I agreed to date you,” Ted groaned playfully.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll write you letters in prison if we fail to exonerate you. Conjugal visits will be a must.”

  “Wow. I guess I’ve finally lost my mind.”

  “Does that mean you’re ready for dinner?” Grell batted his eyes. “It’s a tad early, but you definitely look like you need some—” He licked his lips ever so slowly. “—sustenance.”

  “Yes, please.” The mere mention of food made Ted’s stomach growl, and he didn’t even mind the innuendo.

  Another snap of Grell’s fingers brought them into a cozy dining room. They were seated across from each other within arm’s reach at an elaborately carved table next to a roaring fireplace. They were both wearing fresh suits, and Ted swore that somewhere between the snap and being seated that Grell had grabbed his butt.

  Grell’s ensemble was a loud purple-and-gray three-piece suit with a silk rose corsage on his lapel. Ted’s suit was thankfully a much more modest outfit, simple and black with a dark green tie.

  “You look lovely.” Grell beamed and reached for his hand.

  “You clean up pretty good too,” Ted replied, smiling bashfully. He loved the flood of butterflies invading his chest and making every breath feel light. “So, what are we having?”

  “That’s up to you, love.” Grell waved his fingers and empty plates appeared before them. “We can have whatever you’d like. I’m not picky.”

  “No?” Ted thought it over for a moment before he said, “How about a steak?”

  “That’s it? Just a steak?”

  “I want a really big steak.”

  Very amused, Grell snapped his fingers and a giant sirloin strip appeared on Ted’s plate. “Hope medium is okay.”

  “Perfect,” Ted sighed, dreamily staring down at the steak. He noted that Grell had given himself filet mignon, a baked potato, and asparagus. “Shoulda known you’d be a filet guy.”

  “I like my meat very tender,” Grell said with a wink.

  “Can I have something to—”

  With a quick snap, a full glass of red wine and a cup of ice water appeared.

  “Thanks.” Ted cut his steak, scrambling to think of something to say. He felt a little awkward after just pouring his heart out, and he didn’t know what to talk about now.

  “So,” Grell said, easily breaking the brief silence, “tell me everything there is to know about you.”

  “Me?” Ted blinked. “Uh, hi, my name is Ted, I work with dead people, eh… I don’t know. I feel like I’ve already said so much.” He picked at the piece of steak he’d cut. “Where do I start?”

  “We have all night.” Grell picked up his wine and took a leisurely sip. “Not much else we can do until they find Visseract.”

  “No, we still gotta go to the library. Remember?”

  “Yes, yes, I remember,” Grell huffed. “After dinner, I promise we will do your little ghost friend’s bidding and go to the library. But right now, I would like… well, as silly as it sounds, I would like to enjoy our meal.”

  Ted wanted to argue, but he found that he agreed. He hadn’t been on a date in months, and he didn’t want to rush through what could very well be his last meal as a free man. He made up his mind to enjoy this and ignore the ticking clock.

  “Okay, deal. No trial stuff until after we’ve had dessert.” He held up his fork. “I mean it. No more screwin’ around. This is fuckin’ serious, okay?”

  “Deal.” Grell grinned. “So. You have family, hmm? Tell me about them.”

  “Parents were normal, happy, Lucian,” Ted replied, pausing to nibble at his steak. It was unbelievably delicious and rich, and he groaned softly. “Oh, that’s good.”

  “I’m glad. Any brothers or sisters?”

  “Just one. I have a younger brother. He’s adopted. Literally droppe
d off on our doorstep. My parents were always super protective of him. Thought he was a gift from God.”

  “The Lord of Light, you mean.”

  “Yeah.” Ted frowned at that. “And he’s really not real? The Litany, all of that. It’s just made up?”

  “All religions are made up if you think about it,” Grell replied thoughtfully. “The Sages have the advantage that their rituals and such were made up by actual gods. The Lord of Light was some bastard who popped out of nowhere, delivered his one little Litany for everyone to follow without question, and then he just buggers off.”

  “But he performed miracles,” Ted argued. “He was the one true God who came to Earth to share the Litany with mankind—”

  “Ah, he claimed to have performed miracles. He also said he was going to come back and visit mortals to bring them another Litany. Funny how no one has seen or heard from him in about fifteen hundred years.”

  “Well, no one’s seen the gods hanging around either!”

  “That’s because your precious Lord of Light sucked up all the followers,” Grell tutted. “Great Azaethoth got a bit depressed and decided to have himself a little nap. That’s when the gods went into the dreaming. They might be sleeping, but they’re still up there in Zebulon. Just because you aren’t ready to accept it doesn’t make it any less true.”

  “I’m trying, okay?” Ted scowled. “It’s still kinda crazy that everything I believed in is apparently fuckin’ fake, so I’m taking some fuckin’ time to adjust.” He took a sip of wine. “So, who was he really?”

  “Who?”

  “The Lord of Light!”

  “I don’t know. Maybe he’s made up too. Some uppity mortals may have written the Litany themselves and just claimed they got it from a brand-new god no one had ever heard of.”

  “My parents are gonna be wrecked if they find out,” Ted said glumly. “Following the Litany is everything to them. Like with my brother, Elliam, they really thought he was this holy gift—”

  “Wait, wait. They thought he was a holy gift, and they named him ‘Elliam’?” Grell scoffed. “What kind of name is that?”