Kraken My Heart

by K. L. Hiers

  “Well, fuck.”

  Grell bowed his head against one of the empty slots, howling mournfully. His anger was fading away, and all that was left was his obvious pain.

  Hating to see him like this, Ted set down Kunst’s orb and hurried over. He kneeled beside Grell and wrapped his arms around his neck, peppering his fur with kisses. “Hey, I’m here.”

  Grell tensed briefly, but then he relaxed, soon melting in Ted’s embrace. “I’ve failed my people. I failed my own damn family.”

  “What are you talking about?” Ted shook his head. “You didn’t do this!”

  “It’s my job to protect these graves,” Grell argued. “I should have known something like this could happen.”

  “No,” Ted countered stubbornly. “This isn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known what Visseract was going to do! Listen to me, we’re gonna find him, and you’re gonna eat the crap out of him, okay?”

  Grell managed to look surprised, asking, “You really believe that, don’t you?”

  “Yes!” Ted hugged Grell close. “Together, we fought off a bunch of fuckin’ fish people. We talked to that crazy cat lady out in the woods!” He paused, something scratching in the back of his mind.

  The crazy cat lady in the woods—Silas.

  “For the record,” Grell teased halfheartedly, “I’m the one who fought off the fish people. You were a bit busy being passed out at the time, although I appreciated your unspoken moral support.”

  “Remember.” The little boy’s voice was nagging in Ted’s ear, and a small hand pulled on his arm. “You have to remember!”

  Ted could hear the ocean, screaming, and then….

  The purple bead—he remembered where he’d seen it before. Twice.

  “What is it?” Grell asked, his lips drawing back in a concerned pout. “Ted? Are you feeling all right?”

  “Silas,” Ted said urgently. “Old cat lady who lives down in the cave! We have to go see Silas right now.”

  “What the hell for?” Grell snapped grumpily. “I’m a bit preoccupied dealing with a very personal and very deep emotional collapse. I need to sit around in my pajamas and eat ice cream. Can we go see her later?”

  “The ear thingie!” Ted exclaimed. “The broken bead we found! I’ve seen it before! The missing piece is on Mire’s corpse! And I know who has the other half!”

  “Well, fuck me, who?”

  “It’s her! It’s Silas!”

  “Oh shit.”

  Chapter 10.

  KUNST THREATENED to find a way to free himself of the orb and haunt them both forever if they left him in the pits, and so Ted carried him along as Grell ported them back to court.

  The only person there was Mire.

  Grell took on his human form and called the guards to summon Vizier Ghulk immediately. He bared his teeth when they told him a few moments later that they were having trouble locating Ghulk but were still actively trying to find him.

  “Hmmph,” Grell huffed. “When you want that stupid slime pony around, he’s nowhere to be found. When you don’t want him, he’s the biggest dick sore in all of Xenon.”

  “It’s fine,” Ted soothed, reaching down to massage Grell’s shoulders. “We’ll get him to take us to Silas, and maybe she can explain why Mire’s half of the purple mating bead thing was hidden in some scroll in the library.”

  “And you’re certain it’s Mire’s?”

  “Still got the broken one we found in the library?”

  “Here,” Grell said, snapping his fingers.

  It magically appeared floating above Ted’s hand. Another snap retrieved the broken shard from Mire’s corpse, and it clicked right into place with the rest of the bead.

  “See?” Ted gasped. “It totally fucking fits. This is great. This is awesome. This…. What does this mean?”

  “That my slimy little cousin was married to Thulogian Silas,” Grell said, scrubbing his hands over his face.

  “How did you not know that? Isn’t that a thing you should know?”

  “I don’t know!” Grell threw up his arms in frustration. “I don’t seem to recall receiving an invitation to the rehearsal!”

  “They wed in secret ages ago,” Kunst drawled. “Everyone knows that.”

  “Hey, wait!” Ted snapped, glaring down at Kunst’s orb. “No, not everybody knows that! What are you talking about?”

  “Mire was supposed to marry someone from the Vulgoran clan, but the negotiations kept being postponed,” Kunst replied impatiently.

  “Now that I do know,” Grell piped up. “Asra aren’t big on arranged marriages, but the Vulgorans are simply mad for them.”

  “Can a Vulgoran and an Asra… uh…?” Ted made a circle with his fingers and thumb, using the index finger of his other hand to thrust suggestively into the opening. “You know.”

  “With enough imagination, anything is possible,” Grell declared, “but it’s very unlikely that any offspring would have been produced. The Vulgorans wanted a link to the royal family, and who knows why Mire ever agreed to it.”

  “Especially if he was already married to Silas.” Ted turned around and eyed Kunst. “And how do you know all of this, huh?”

  “Because I’ve been wandering around the castle for weeks!” Kunst exclaimed. “Being stabbed to death is a great way to create a restless spirit!”

  “Didn’t you say you died saving the world or something?”

  “I did!” Kunst argued passionately. “I sacrificed myself as part of an ancient ritual—”

  “Glamour magic,” Grell said suddenly, kneeling close to Mire’s corpse. His hand had been hovering over him, and he drew it back with a scowl.

  “Like, that stuff people use to cover zits?” Ted asked.

  “Yes, but much more powerful,” Grell replied. “Glamour can be imbued in charms and jewelry to completely transform a person’s appearance. Mire must have been using it to hide his mating bead. When he died, the enchantment faded.”

  “And the killer went all smashy-smashy on it to destroy any evidence that Mire was already married?”

  “So it would seem.”

  “Your Highness!” Ghulk’s voice called out, his hooves clopping clumsily across the floor as he rushed inside. “You needed to see me?”

  “We need you to take us back to see Silas,” Grell commanded. “Right now.”

  “Uh, of course,” Ghulk said, his milky eyes wide with surprise. “As you wish, Your Highness.”

  Back out into the forest they went with Ghulk leading the way. Grell was quiet, tense, and his eyes didn’t seem as bright as usual. Ted carried Kunst as before, tucking the orb under his arm while they walked along.

  Up in the night sky, Ted could see the bridge glowing and fading. It was still beautiful, but now his heart thudded with dread. This mystery was getting more twisted by the minute, and all he could do was keep pushing forward.

  But he didn’t have to do it alone.

  Grell had reached for his hand, giving him a strained smile.

  Ted couldn’t begin to imagine the stress Grell was going through, and he squeezed his hand. “You know, if she’s tied up in this somehow, maybe she knows what happened to the bones?”

  “Perhaps,” Grell said with a short laugh. “I’m not expecting much, to be honest.”

  Up ahead, Ghulk had already disappeared down into the hole. There was a long pause, and he shouted, “Your Highness! Oh no! Please! Come quick!”

  “Wait here,” Grell snarled, instantly transforming into his cat form and leaping down the hole after Ghulk.

  “No! Fuck that!” Ted grunted. “Wait up!”

  “Maybe we should just wait—” Kunst tried to protest.

  “Shut up!” Ted bolted down the hole, trying to be more careful than his first trip here. It was completely dark, and he tried to hold up Kunst like a flashlight, complaining, “What the hell? Why is it so dark—”

  His foot slipped in something slick, and he fell, trying to catch himself on his hands. He groane
d, looking up to watch Kunst’s orb bounce and roll along the ground.

  It came to a stop next to….

  The open mouth of an Asra, its eyes frozen in death and dull in the orb’s dim light.

  “Oh, gross! Get me away, get me away from it!” Kunst howled, his orb twitching helplessly as he tried to roll out of a sticky puddle of blood. “Ugh!”

  The torches lit with a snap, Grell human again and offering his hands to help Ted up. “Are you okay, love?”

  “I’m… I’m….” Ted stared at the body, recognizing it now as Silas Thulogian. “Shit!”

  “She’s dead,” Ghulk whispered brokenly, collapsing down on his front legs and resting his large head against her shoulder. “Oh, Thulogian, my dear Thulogian… oh no.”

  “Looks like you’re facing another set of murder charges,” Grell mumbled, gesturing to the blood smeared on Ted’s legs from where he’d slipped.

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Ted groaned. He pointed accusingly at Ghulk, snapping, “What about him? He’s over there touching her!”

  “Technically, you were the first,” Kunst piped up. “And Asran law is very clear—”

  “Shut up!”

  “Sorry, my love.” Grell grimaced. “The law must stand.”

  “Fuck me,” Ted groaned.

  “Later, love.”

  “Another murder charge? Come the fuck on!” Ted wanted to tear out his hair. He groaned in frustration and looked back to Silas’s body. “Okay. It’s fine. Just another fuckin’ murder. No big deal. A big cat monster person has been stabbed to death again. Cool. No weapon left behind. Right, got it, awesome. And… and… what the fuck, why is Ghulk eating her foot?”

  “Drop the corpse, Ghulk!” Grell snarled.

  “I’m sorry, Your Highness!” Ghulk howled, quickly retreating from Silas’s body.

  “She is an Asra,” Grell roared, his small human form about to burst as he struggled to control his transformation. “She will be fucking entombed with her people! Not fuckin’ served for dinner!”

  “I loved her!” Ghulk snapped back. He stood up, baring his horrible teeth as he continued to rage. “I loved her more than anything in this world! Mire treated her like a burden, ordering her to live down in this hole so no one would know he was already mated!”

  “The fuck is going on?” Ted demanded, still horrified. “If you love her so damn much, why were you trying to fuckin’ eat her?”

  “The Eldress used to eat their dead!” Kunst called out helpfully. “They were consumed by their loved ones after they died, and later began to use embalming to discourage the practice!”

  Ted held his face in his hands.

  “You had a thing for Thulogian Silas?” Grell asked briskly, trying to keep the conversation on track. “And you knew about the marriage?”

  “Yes!” Ghulk sobbed. “We were friends! The best of friends! She was always so kind to me! Why do you think I was the only one who could come see her without being attacked?”

  “You realize you’ve just made yourself our new top suspect for murdering Mire,” Grell pointed out.

  “I don’t care!” Ghulk bowed his head with a mournful howl. “I wish I had… I wish I had killed him. I wish I could raise him up and kill him again for how he treated her! But I just know that wretched Visseract got to him first! This is awful!”

  “I guess Visseract thought she might spill the beans?” Ted scratched his chin thoughtfully. “But if Visseract was gonna give her what she wanted, that Kindress thing, why would she rat?”

  “It doesn’t make much sense, does it?” Grell mused. “Hmmph.” He looked over at Kunst. “What say you, Professor? Anything useful to add?”

  “Oh, hmm, hmm, I’m not sure,” Kunst quipped. “It’s hard to think”—his voice rose to a hysterical shout—“when I’m smothered up against a corpse!”

  “Big fuckin’ baby,” Ted grumbled, carefully stepping over the blood to pick up the orb. He figured his clothes were already ruined and wiped the orb off on his shirt. “There! Happy?”

  “Better, thank you,” Kunst said haughtily. “Hmmph. Well, whoever hid the mating bauble didn’t want anyone to know that Mire and Silas were mates.”

  “Yeah, thanks, Captain Obvious,” Ted snarked. “That still doesn’t help us.”

  “It’s late, I’m tired, I would like to go to bed,” Grell growled. His eyes snapped to Ghulk, commanding, “You! Go back to the castle. Tell the rest of the court what’s happened, and don’t you dare nibble on Silas’s body.”

  “Yes, Your Highness,” Ghulk said, cowering obediently.

  “You,” Grell said, grabbing Kunst and waving his hand over the orb. He let go, and the glowing ball was now hovering on its own. “I’m sending you to the library.”

  “To search for clues? Perform research?” Kunst asked eagerly. “I’ll be glad to do anything I can to help—”

  “No, because you’re annoying me, and you make my head hurt,” Grell grunted. “And you, Tedward of Aeon.” He took Ted’s hand. “You’re coming with me. Brace yourself.”

  “For what?”

  “Just in case you get cut in half when we teleport.”

  “Wait, what—”

  As Grell pulled Ted forward, the cave vanished, and he found himself back at the pool full of glowing eels. He was grateful to find his body intact and wearing some modest swimming trunks for this visit, although Grell had chosen to go nude as he dove into the water.

  Ted sat down on the edge of the pool, waiting for Grell to surface. “Well, I’m glad I made it here in one piece. Uh, you okay?”

  “Not really, no,” Grell replied bluntly. “I now have two murders to solve, the sacred bones of my queen and family to find, and I’ve got the worst fucking headache.”

  “We have two murders to solve,” Ted corrected, “since I keep getting myself charged hanging around you and all that shit.”

  “Hmmph.”

  Ted watched Grell duck under the water and swim for a bit, and he was not sure what to say now. The silence wasn’t awkward, but he still felt the need to break it. He could tell Grell was upset, and he didn’t know how to comfort him.

  “Hey,” Ted said, waiting for Grell to surface, “we’re going to find your queen’s bones. And everybody else’s. We’re gonna figure this shit out.”

  “And if we don’t?” Grell asked, paddling over to stand in front of Ted. “What am I supposed to tell my son when he comes home from Aeon? Oops, lost your mommy’s bones, sorry about that.”

  “You tell him the truth,” Ted urged. “There’s a fucking god out there stealing them. You didn’t lose them. It wasn’t like, oh, huh, did I leave those in my other pants? No, they were taken!”

  Grell grunted, turning away and scowling.

  “You know,” Ted said hesitantly, reaching out with his legs to gently draw Grell in. “There is other stuff you could do.”

  “Other stuff?” Grell quirked a brow but let himself get pulled up between Ted’s thighs. He hugged Ted’s hips, looking up at him expectantly.

  “Humans do all kinds of stuff when they’re trying to have a funeral without a body,” Ted explained carefully. “They might use an empty casket, just to help visualize the loss. Sometimes they might bury stuff that the person owned, stuff that was special to them.”

  “Like what?” Grell asked quietly. He didn’t seem offended, only curious.

  “Well, it all depends,” Ted replied. “It could be photos, letters, personal things. Some families might bring an outfit, and we’ll place it in the casket like there was someone in there. One wife brought some dirty socks because it was the last thing she remembered him wearing.”

  “I don’t think my queen’s old crunchy socks are much of a suitable replacement for his body.”

  “Not a replacement,” Ted said sincerely. “This is a promise. It’s a promise that you’re going to keep trying to find his bones, and I’m going to help you.” He blinked, caught off guard by the way Grell was staring at him now. “What?
”

  “Are you sure you’re human?” Grell asked, his strong hands sliding up Ted’s back.

  “Pretty sure.”

  “Because you’re really quite amazing,” Grell said with a smile. “You’re thoughtful, considerate, and I’m afraid I must confess I’m becoming more than a little fond of you.”

  “I… I really like you too,” Ted confessed, his face quickly warming up. “I wanna help you, like you’re trying to help me. I’m just… uh….” He was lost in Grell’s bright eyes and left speechless.

  Grell held him tight, easily lifting him off the edge of the pool and bringing him down into the water with him. He guided Ted’s legs around his waist, holding him there and kissing him.

  It was sweet, unhurried, and Ted wanted to kiss Grell like this for hours. They were floating lazily through the pool, the glowing eels sliding by them as the massive bridge made the night sky twinkle and shine.

  Ted petted Grell’s hair and his broad shoulders, groaning quietly from the inevitable passion starting to brew between them once more.

  “Grell,” he murmured, loving how hot and wet his lips were from kissing.

  “When my hand is on your ass, feel free to call me Thiazi,” Grell said, giving Ted’s bottom a firm squeeze.

  “Okay, Thiazi!” Ted laughed, snagging another deep kiss. He suddenly had to turn his head away so he wouldn’t yawn directly into Grell’s mouth. “Ah, fuck, sorry.”

  “Don’t be,” Grell said with a grin. “Mmm, it’s been a long day, love. I’ll ravage your tight little body tomorrow, hmm?”

  “Is this before or after my trial?”

  “Why not both?”

  “We have until midnight tomorrow, right?” Ted tried to smile with confidence. “We could probably make that work. And hey, you still owe me some prime cuddling, right?”

  “That I do.” A snap of Grell’s fingers took them back to bed, warm and dry and dressed in matching rainbow unicorn onesies.

  Ted’s hood was pulled up over his head, and he reached up to feel the floppy ears and horn. “Oh my God. You’re fuckin’ ridiculous.”

  “What?” Grell blinked. “Isn’t this something human couples do?”